The Amethyst Heart
by TiA995
Summary: Emilia Lazar has lost everything five years ago, family, friends, the man she loved and most importantly her soul. Now, after being in the shadows for so long, she finally returns home to a life she has forgotten how to live. As she finds her place in Court again, she also finds an unexpected love. But what will happen when the demons from her past come to haunt her? (Rewritten)
1. CH1 - Awake and Alive

**POV: Emilia**

Darkness. It was all I could see. It was everywhere. Surrounding me, drowning me, consuming me. I felt weak, tired, I didn't want to fight it anymore. So, I let go. This is it. _This_ , is my ending.

A loud noise burst through the numbness of my mind. It was a strong, steady sound, repetitive as if it was made by a machine. The longer I listened, the louder and faster it became. Everything around me started to lighten up. This was, naturally, impossible. It was just my mind playing tricks on me, nothing more. I was dead, I knew I was. Pain still rippled through my chest, starting from the exact spot a stake pierced my heart. I felt life, or well, whatever was keeping me going, drain out of me, so I knew this was it.

Regardless of my determination not to accept any other fate than death, it still felt like there was some hidden force dragging me somewhere, nudging me to wake up from this nightmare. I heard a voice, it was unclear, but I could tell it belonged to a woman because of its softness and gentleness. I wondered who that woman was. Maybe it was an angel coming to take me elsewhere. _I doubt that you are going to any place even remotely close to angels. Not after everything you've done_ , I thought to myself.

I felt somebody grab my hand, but when I turned around there was no one there. The invisible grip tightened, up until the point I felt pain surging through my entire arm. I closed my eyes trying to fight back the tears brought on by pain and fear. When I opened them I got swallowed again, but this time by a bright white light.

"She is awake", said a woman I heard in the dark.

I blinked rapidly, trying to sharpen my vision. My eyes were dry and burning, so everything around me was a blurry, bright mess. The pain in my arm has now spread to every muscle, every nerve in my body and it was overwhelming, maddening. The voices and sounds around me were muffled, like I was underwater listening in on something happening above the surface.

"Lady Lazar, Lady Lazar, can you hear me?", a man's ringing voice came from somewhere left of me.

Even more light flashed into my eyes, so I turned my head around trying to get away from it. I felt too weak to make any other movements but the jerking of my head to the side. Even that slight shift made me feel like I just attempted to move a mountain.

"Her pulse is going crazy, we might need to sedate her", another voice echoed. It sounded rough and impatient, a bit less muffled too.

"Lady Lazar it's alright, you are safe now", the ringing voice stressed.

 _Pulse? Safe?_ This was all a part of it, wasn't it? A sick little play, mental torment. Payback. I felt a crushing weight on my chest, like something was pressing down on me with an unbearable velocity, paralyzing me. _Where am I? Why are there so many people around me? And why is my head pounding so much?_ This must be it. This must be hell. I'm in hell and the pain, the torture, it's only going to get worse and it will last forever. This was my fate, it's what I deserved.

In a short moment of relative silence I heard a door opening, so I must be indoors. I was lying down on something soft, a bed maybe. The lack of my senses never stopped me before and it won't stop me now, but the pain I was in was making it very difficult to think clearly.

"Adrian, what are you doing here?", asked the angel.

 _No Emilia, not an angel,_ I scolded myself, _a demon in disguise is more like it_.

"I was sent to run some experiments on the lucky girl over there, while the change of her state is still fresh. It might help her Majesty and I in our research", this voice came from whomever walked into the room. It was melodic and sweet, but in the same time manly and strong.

 _Experiments_? I twitched at the word, fear filling me up so fast my mind began screaming at me under its influence. Melodic and sweet was just a cover, probably for the devil himself.

"Well I don't think you will be able to do anything to her Ivashkov. Look at her. She looks like a wild animal. I say we restrain her and give her that sedative", argued the impatient one.

I tried moving, getting away, though I was sure I wouldn't get far. There is no way out of this one, ever. However, the pressure on my chest and head was getting stronger by the minute and I still couldn't make out any concrete shapes around me.

"She doesn't look like an animal Warner, she just looks like a girl scared out of her mind", the demon was raising her voice in protest.

It felt like she was trying to protect me. _But why would she?_ This was too confusing. Perhaps I was already going insane. Then again, I've lost my mind a long time ago and now that the brief clarity was gone it was probably all I was left with, a crazy, lost, confused mind.

"We need to stay rational Forbes, don't get all maternal on her, she is a monster out of control", the Warner guy fumed. He is right. That's what I am. A monster.

"Was! She was a monster, she isn't anymore!", she pointed out angrily.

"Oh for the love of-, give her some room, will you? You are scaring the crap out of her", the guy named Adrian said.

Perhaps he wasn't the devil. How can someone with a voice so soothing be the devil, be evil? _You voice sounded like that too,_ I thought, _a false gentles and reassurance behind which hid the deadliest and scariest killer you could imagine._ Still I felt this little piece of hope, that perhaps, he wasn't the devil, that maybe for some unexplainable reason he was here to save me even though I've done nothing to deserve that. The pressure suddenly became so strong I thought I was about to explode. I let out a cry, which came out like a screeching, like a growl of a wounded animal.

"Lord Ivashkov, I strongly recommend you stay back, she might be dangerous."

"She won't hurt me, right Miss Lazar?", his sweet voice wrapped around me like a warm blanket, "It's alright."

 _Of course I will hurt him, that's what I do, I hurt people. It's in my nature._ I wanted to warn him to stay away, but the pain was preventing me from speaking. He obviously moved closer since his voice became stronger as he repeated: "It's alright."

I felt gentle, long fingers closing around my shoulder. I looked up as a blurry shape neared me. When I blinked again the shape in front of me finally started to take form. It was a pair of big, dark, emerald green eyes. I felt like I instantly sank into them, like they were an ocean beckoning me to dive in, let go completely, let the strange, glimmering, deep water take me away, far away.

"I need you to take a breath for me now, okay?"

 _Take a breath? I don't need to breathe. Strigoi can't suffocate. I won't drown in that inviting, green ocean. I can go under and stay there forever._ Regardless, for some unexplainable reason, I focused on those mesmerizing eyes and I did just that, I took a long, strong breath and magically the pressure on my chest, the throbbing in my head, my blurred vision, it all just disappeared. I started coughing, taking in as much air as my lungs would allow me to.

I darted my eyes around the room, putting faces to all the voices I heard. I tried to sit up, but my body started shaking uncontrollably. I felt weak and exhausted like I just ran a marathon. The gentle touch on my arm tightened making me fall back into the pillows behind me. All of a sudden I felt sleepy and my mind and body began shutting down.

I looked up again, finding the safety of those green eyes. I could see now that the person they belonged to was a guy around my age, with tousled, dark, chestnut hair and beautiful features, too beautiful to belong to the devil. He was still looking at me calmly, but with a hint of worry on his face. As I peered up at him the rest of the room slowly started fading away. I reached for the arm he rested on my shoulder and barely managed to whisper just one thing before everything sank into the black oblivion again.

"Help me!"

* * *

 **Chapter song: Awake and alive - Skillet**

 **This is a story about Emilia Lazar (OC), whose been a Strigoi for five years before being restored back to her previous form (Moroi). The story will revolve around her life, family story, her connections to our beloved VA characters and the events that will follow her return to the Court (from various POV's). The story starts after the end of Last Sacrifice and it pretty much ignores the events of Bloodlines.**

 **I've been rewriting this story, chapter by chapter, so I apologies for all the changes I've been making lately. Since I've merged some of the chapters together (like the prologue and the first chapter, the third and the fourth chapter etc.) the number of the chapters declined which didn't affect the story itself, but it did affect the previously posted reviews. I tried to stop that from happening, but sadly it was unavoidable, so to everyone who has already posted your reviews and now they don't match the chapters for which you've posted them for, I apologies!** **The plot of the story and all main events didn't change in this rewritten version, I only fixed some errors, added to the descriptions and dialog and posted a few bonus scenes in a few chapters!**

 **At the end of every chapter just like this one, there is the name of the song (and the artist preforming it), after which the chapter was named. The song title or the song lyrics are connected to the events of each chapter. Also in this reedited version, every mature (sexual) scene is initially marked with *M* signs in order to help the readers to decide whether they would like to skip some parts or not!**

 **Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoy my story and please do review it since it means a lot to me!**

 **Kisses, T!**


	2. CH2 - Beneath Contempt

**POV: Adrian**

"Her Majesty is expecting me."

"As always, Lord Ivashkov", the girl behind the front desk responded, giving me a polite smile as her cheeks became a shade pinker.

Hannah was a very attractive Moroi girl, with shoulder length caramel hair, bright blue eyes, round cheeks and marvelously full lips. She was a sweet little thing, too young for her position if you asked me, but apparently Lissa believed she was more than competent for the job. She was admittedly rather good at upholding her serious and business like expression when in the presence of Royal's visiting Lissa on the daily bases. Not me though, I knew I could get her flustered in the matter of seconds. She tried hiding the blush of her cheeks whenever I winked at her, but it was no use. I was aware of just how much I could make girls hot and bothered. Not that it mattered to me lately, I wasn't really in the mood for the big game since my last love disaster by the name of a wonderful, but thorny flower left me pretty unbalanced.

"Please, I already told you, it's Adrian", I added, flashing her a smile accompanied by a wink before I rounded the corner towards Lissa's office.

I slowly walked down the hallway preparing for an upcoming tantrum. Lissa was probably beyond pissed. I knocked on the door and after a pause pushed it open. She was on the phone, a stack of papers sprawled over the table in front of her. She was frowning as she moved them aside and flipped them, her eyes darting down the lines written on them as she simultaneously tried to concentrate on the words coming her way down the line as well.

"Thank you very much, I will see you later", she finished her conversation with a serious and official tone.

As she put the phone down I closed the door behind me and strolled towards her casually. I kept a wide grin splashed on my face, hoping it will ease the tension as I sang: "Don't stop on my account."

"Sit", she ordered without even bothering to look up at me, her voice strained and dripping with anger. _So much for easing the tension!_ I sat on the chair in front of her desk taking out a cigarette.

"Don't even think about it", she warned piercing me with her gaze.

I growled in protest, but did as she asked putting the cigarette away while she added: "So, do you want to tell me what happened yesterday in the medical wing?"

"Nothing happened", I answered looking around the room, trying to avoid eye contact. Not that that was going to help, since my aura was a pretty good telltale.

"Are you meaning to tell me you didn't risk your life and safety trying to talk to Emilia Lazar, even though you were strongly advised not to approach her since she was violent and unpredictable?", she blurted out in one breath.

"She wasn't violent, she was scared and confused", I corrected, playing with a button of my shirt absentmindedly, "You might remember what that looks like. You did, after all, nurture Dimitri when he came back to the world of the living."

"Adrian", she said with a sigh, "First of all she is not Dimitri, we don't know her, she is not our friend and her situation is completely different than his was. She became a Strigoi almost five years ago under very strange and unexplained circumstances. Since then she has dropped off any radar, doing God knows what and killing, probably, countless people. She took out four guardians before they managed to even get close to her. Staking her was nearly impossible, honestly I still have no idea how Oksana did it. She _is_ dangerous. It's been so long I fear that, even though her soul is intact now, she still might be lost forever. Dimitri was a Strigoi for only a few months and it took him double that time to come to grips with what he has done during that period. Can you imagine what's happening inside of her head right now?"

"You are right Lissa. She is lost", I exclaimed getting up and walking towards the window, "She is lost because she has no idea what's happening to her. As you pointed out earlier, she was turned a long time ago, back when nobody knew anything about the Spirit and when restoration was nothing but a myth. She doesn't know any of us, she probably barely remembers her family, and let's face it, half of that family is nuts anyway. For all she knows she is alone, going through something scary as fuck and everybody still treating her like a monster isn't helping. So I'm sorry, but I won't apologies for wanting to help her out."

As I finished my short speech I let out a breath and placed my hand on the window frame for support. I suddenly felt very tired. I didn't get much sleep last night, which was not something new to me, but it still took its toll. It was taking me a hell of a long time to get used to falling asleep like any other normal person, instead of passing out after a hefty amount of alcohol. I leaned my forehead against the cool window, looking out into the dark garden. It was quite a beautiful night out, clear sky, gentle breeze, surprisingly quiet for a change. A memory suddenly started playing in my mind as my eyes focused on the branches of the tree that slowly danced with the wind.

 _A warm and sunny day, way past bed time, this room. I am leaning against the same window looking out. I've been drinking since the moment I opened my eyes without a break. Everything was spinning and that hasn't happened to me in a long time._

 _"I want to help you, but you need to let me do that Adrian!"_

 _Wow she really doesn't give up, does she?, I thought to myself, screwing my eyes shut and pinching the bridge of my nose in an attempt to get rid of the pounding in my head and calm the roller-coaster that was already starting to make me want to puke my insides out._

 _"I don't need help, I'm fine", I claimed, trying to put the widest smile on my face that I could manage. Not that it was any use. She couldn't even see my face since I kept it turned away from her throughout the whole conversation, like that might stop her from learning the truth about just how messed up the thoughts in my head were._

 _"No, you are not fine. Look, I know what happened with Rose was painful, but-."_

 _"Don't!", I warned her angrily, automatically clenching my hands into fists, "Just don't."_

 _"You have to stop", she continued persistently, "The drinking, the anger, wasting away like this! It needs to end."_

 _"Why?"_

 _"Because you're better than this", she cried out._

 _"Right, I'm such an upstanding member of society", I scoffed, turning around to finally look at her._

 _She stood nearby, her green eyes filled with a fire I've come to learn awoke in her whenever she was really passionate about something. She obviously really wanted to get through to me, but I just didn't know how to let her, or maybe I didn't want to let her. I was fine with drowning in my own madness and pitying myself, I was fine with it because it didn't take an effort, it didn't require of me to do something meaningful, it was just living, being and that was it. She approached me and gingerly took my hand in hers._

 _"You can be. Please, Adrian you are my friend. I can't watch you suffer like this."_

 _There was something in her voice, something that moved me, but it took me a moment to realize what it was. Pain. Was I causing it?_

 _"Okay, Lissa you want to help me? How? What's you big plan?", I gave in, more because I didn't want to be the cause of her sadness than because I actually thought she could fix anything, no matter how much she might want to._

 _"Well it will take time and patience, but you will be better after that, I promise. There is a lot of things that need changing and we'll do it together, one step at a time", she blurted out, her expression lightening up instantly._

 _"What are you a happiness guru now?", I jested._

 _"Something like that", she smiled, "So let's start with this. I got you a job."_

 _"A job? Well, we definitely have completely different definitions of happiness", I chuckled._

 _"It comes with great benefits."_

 _"What kind of benefits?"_

I turned around. I could see worry and frustration written all over her face. _Not that again_. I fixed her eyes and breathed out: "Lissa, I just wanted-."

My voice trailed off. For a good reason too. I actually had no idea how to finish my line of thoughts, because my thoughts were a mess. It's been awhile since I felt this jumbled and I did not miss the feeling. _What did I want?_ I had no idea what made me do what I did. I didn't know Emilia Lazar, I didn't care about her, but for some reason, when I saw her I felt a burning desire to help her. It was like I was drawn to her, like her pain and fear made me desperate to fix everything, despite not knowing what needed to be fixed. It was a kind of urge I never felt before, at least not at that intensity, at the intensity that made me unable to think about anything or anyone else.

"This is going to sound a little harsh, but you can't do whatever you want anymore. Your position requires a lot more restrain", she scolded, but a small smile formed on her lips as she brushed my hair back and I shook my head to stop her from straightening up my perfectly made mess.

"I knew taking that job was a bad idea", I joked, making her smile widen.

"You are fully enjoying the perks though", she chuckled.

"I sure am", I admitted.

She took my hand and squeezed it lightly, her gaze falling to my fingers when I intertwined them with hers, smiling softly while a tiny frown played on her forehead, like she too remembered the last time we stood like this, the last time she pulled my ass out of the fire. When she looked back up at me her expression became determined, like she has finally come to a decision and she stated: "I'm not saying you shouldn't try to help her, I'm just saying be smart about it. Okay?"

"Okay", I confirmed as she glanced at her watch and bit her lower lip. That was my cue. She was my friend, but the job of being the Queen never stopped. She stole moments like this, moments to dedicate her attention and love to the people that are important to her and I was lucky I was included in such a group. But they were after all just moments and ours has passed.

"I should get going", I spoke up, letting go of her hand and stuffing mine into my pockets, "When is the council meeting again?"

"Two days from now."

"Well, I have enough time to stock up on caffeine then. Those stuck up pains in the ass are probably going to bore me to death again."

"Hey, I don't like these meetings any more than you do, but I need you there with me, Advisor."

"You know I'll be there, Boss", I joked winking at her before I headed towards the door, stopping only to ask one last question: "Lissa, why did Oksana try so hard to bring her back? That question has been eating at me for three day now."

"I'm not sure", she breathed out frowning again. She's been doing a lot of frowning lately. I might have to help her fix that.

"I think she knows her from somewhere. She said something about repairing someone's wounds and healing their heart, but she was pretty out of it from the Spirit. This took its toll on her more than we thought it would", she added glancing back at me.

"Ha", I answered vaguely.

She sat back down in her chair, grabbing the papers on the table as she mumbled: "I'll see you for lunch tomorrow, right?"

"Of course cousin, I wouldn't miss hanging out with my Boss, the love of her life, my ex and her Russian God for anything in the world", I scoffed and with a devilish smile I grabbed the knob.

"Oh, Adrian, one more thing", she called after me before I could leave, "How _did_ you manage to get into that room in the medical wing?"

"I told them you sent me", I answered grinning.

"Of course you did", she said rolling her eyes in the process.

I said goodbye and left. I strolled through the court grounds passing people by in a haze. I guess it wasn't a quiet night after all, but I got too lost in my thoughts to notice the clamor around me. My mind was throwing me back to that never ending circle of pondering about my life. _How did I get here?,_ has been my million dollar question for months now. I always thought that as soon as I hit the legal age I would be out of this freaking place. Sure, I can't say I didn't enjoy the glamor and the easiness of it all, but still, I had this constant nagging in my head, this feeling like I didn't belong, not anymore. But then again, I guess I didn't really know where I _did_ belong. I drifted for a long time, trying to figure out what I was supposed to do with my life. I'm not sure I still had it figured out, but working with Lissa helped. It gave me a purpose. It was sort of ridiculous to think of myself as someone whose job is to advise the Queen. In all fairness I didn't really do much advising, not in the official sense of it all, but I knew Lissa appreciated my opinions despite my lack of knowledge when it came to politics and ruling. Probably because I was one of the rare people she could count on to be completely honest and not to have an ulterior motive. Plus after everything that happened with Jill, perhaps she felt like she owned me one.

A group of people strolled passed me, three men and two women. One of them peered at me before she turned to the other one to whisper something into her ear. The other woman's eyes widened like she was shocked by the words she heard before she looked at me with a dose of disapproval or disgust, I wasn't really sure. I was no longer a party boy with scandalous behavior, but was still an interesting topic to most of the people around here. It didn't surprise me anymore, with my aunt being dead, mother in prison and now with my role in the new government, I was a hot topic to discuss. I let my steps become longer, but maintained a cool facade, even went as far as to give the women a dazzling smile. They blushed and hurried of to join the men who have gotten ahead of them.

The further away I got the emptier the streets became. Finally, there was only an occasional passerby from time to time and my surroundings consisted mostly of the houses lit up like Christmas trees all fancy and posh, like their owners were constantly trying to compete whose was more dazzling. Knowing the royal douchebags they probably were doing just that. Almost at the end of the Court grounds a house came into my view, a house nothing like the ones I passed by so far. It was much, much different, ordinary and extraordinary at the same time. There wasn't anything too fancy about it and it was a lot smaller than most of the houses around here, but it still stood out, probably because it had a bright red roof and a screaming yellow colored fence. And it was mine.

I smiled as I pushed open the gate and let the keys dangle from my fingers. Home sweet home. It was my favorite perk of my job so far. I still had no idea how Lissa pulled it off, but whatever she did and whoever she pressed about this, it was worth it. Worth it enough to have me elbow deep in paint when I was fixing it up to my liking.

I walked inside and stripped my clothes off throwing them over the chair in the living room. I drank a glass of water before I dragged myself up the stairs and into my bedroom. Just as everyone else was getting ready to start their day, I toppled over the bed, snuggling under the covers and instantly drifting off. _Man, I'm never going to get enough sleep_.

* * *

 **Chapter song: Beneath Contempt -** **Flesh Field**


	3. CH3 - Life Starts Now

**POV: Emilia**

I lazily opened my eyes and looked around the room. I lost track of time dozing in and out of conscious. Throughout what seemed like an eternity to me, but what's probably merely been a few days, all I was aware of was countless doctors and nurses going in and out of my room, series of tests they administered, needles being poked in me and lots of words being exchanged that I didn't even bother to understand. I constantly felt weak and sleepy. The people around me kept asking me questions. I didn't answer them. I don't know why, I couldn't decide whether it was because speaking seemed too hard or because I had no answers to give them.

I wondered why they were keeping me here. Aside from the exhaustion I felt fine, I saw no injures, nothing out of the ordinary. Well except for the fact that my skin wasn't as pale as before and my eyes were no longer stained with red, but were a clean fiery purple color, just like they used to be. _My mind was playing tricks on me_ , I've decided. There was no other explanation for it. Perhaps that was the reason they were keeping me in this bed, I've obviously finally lost my mind completely, or I've been insane this whole time, it was hard to tell anymore what was real and what wasn't. That didn't explain their madness though. I am a Strigoi, I'm deadly, it's what I wanted to tell them all, warn them, but then again there was no point in it. As soon as I regain my strength, they will all be dead. I felt sorry for them. They seemed so worried about me, so oblivious to the fact that I'm pure evil, acting like they had no idea they would die screaming soon enough.

I cast a look through the window. It was daytime. I should be sleeping, but despite the exhaustion I was somehow restless. I turned to my side and started playing with a strand of my hair. It has been blood red for so long I have forgotten what it was like before I dyed it. I closed my eyes for a second, or at least that's what I thought, and when I opened them again emerald green eyes were watching me intensely.

I jumped, sitting up straight in panic. He backed away a little, but still remained close to my bed. He looked even more hypnotizing than the last time I saw him. There was something so unearthly about him, but I just couldn't put my finger on it. Was it the way he was watching me, or how he seemed to know exactly what to do and what to say, or the fact that he didn't seem to be scared of me in the slightest? Was it the fact that I couldn't decide whether he was good or evil? Was he even real? Was I?

"You shouldn't be here", a croaky voice said. I cringed at the sound of it before I realized I was the person that awful screeching voice belonged to. I tried coughing and clearing my throat, but I felt like there was ash and dust running up and down it, scratching my lungs and airways, every time I tried speaking or inhaling.

"I know", he admitted with a small smile, "So don't tell anyone."

"You need to leave", I persisted my voice becoming stronger.

"Don't worry. I don't think the nurses are awake yet."

"NO!", I yelled so loud that I even scared myself a little.

"I'm sorry", he stammered slightly, showing uncertainty for the first time since I laid my eyes on him, "I'll leave if you don't want me here."

He seemed confused, the smile vanishing from his face. He also seemed a bit hurt. I felt uneasy. Hurting him was the complete opposite of what I wanted to do. It was the reason I asked him to leave. _He was good_ , I decided, _he couldn't be anything else with a soul like that, a soul visible in his eyes._

"It's for you own good", I mumbled underlining my thoughts.

I thought he didn't hear or understand me, because he just stood there silently, watching me, until he suddenly spoke up walking towards me: "I've made it a habit to do things that are not good for me."

 _Me too,_ I thought, but I remained silent studying him carefully, following his every step. He took a mirror from a cupboard next to him and carefully handed it to me as he approached.

"What do you see when you look at that?", he continued.

I looked into the mirror barley recognizing the person looking back. The girl in it looked like a shell of what I used to be. Regardless, I answered: "Me."

"Okay, yeah, but _what_ do you see?", he prompted.

"What do you want me to see?", I exploded, becoming irritated by his persistence.

"Do you know what I see?", he said, swiftly changing his tactic.

He sat on the edge of my bed making be back away even further. His movements were very measured, very gentle. Maybe he was scared of me after all, or maybe, maybe he didn't want to scare me. It sounded ridiculous, but he was too careful, too elegant in everything he did, yet every step brought him just an inch closer to me.

"I see a very exhausted and confused Moroi girl", he added, his eyes peeled to mine like he was trying to make his words sink in by his own sheer will. At first I didn't fully acknowledge what he said, but then it slowly hit me.

"Moroi", I gasped in disbelief. _He must be crazy or blind_. He just nodded like he said something completely normal.

"I'm not a Moroi", I argued.

"You are. I know you can see your eyes, your skin and your fangs in that mirror, so I know you can clearly see that you look the same way you did before you were turned. The thing that's confusing you is that, as far as you knew, since the moment you became a Strigoi there were only two fates for you, live or die. Cut and dry. Nothing in between."

"So are you trying to say that being a Strigoi was a part of my wild imagination?" I snapped at him angrily.

There it was again, the reality questioning my sanity. I was getting tired of it. I was getting tired of everything. I missed the clarity and it made me realize that that's one of the things that alerted me the most. Not the way I looked, not the way my body felt, not the need for normal things like sleep and food, but the absence of a clear and cold mind that I had when I was a Strigoi.

"No, of course not. That would mean you are insane", he stated smiling like he could read my mind.

"So are you?"

"What?"

"Insane?"

He burst into laughter. That was the first time I heard him really laughing, everything before that was a small smile or a chuckle. He had a nice laugh. If the circumstances were different, I probably would have started laughing with him.

" _That_ is quite possible. But that's not my point. My point is that what happened to you was something you didn't know was possible. You were turned back into a Moroi with a help of an element called Spirit. It's a new element, well not new, but newly discovered."

He rendered me speechless. I stared at him shocked. He was very patient, waiting for me to wrap my mind around what he has told me.

"That's impossible", I finally managed to say.

"I know it may seem like it, it did to all of us up until a couple of months ago, but it's the God's honest truth."

"No, you don't understand, it _can't_ be done! You are wrong", I was restless.

"There are a lot of things that you don't know, if you even heard about the element, but-."

"I know enough to know you are mistaken", I interrupted him, "Because I am a Spirit user."

With my announcement, for the first time, he was the one left with no words.

 **POV: Adrian**

Well that sure as hell explained a lot. Looking at her aura I saw a lot of colors that reminded me of the Spirit, but they were so weak that it led me to the conclusion it was the residue of the power used to turn her back. Even after a couple of days though, the light lingered and something seemed different about it. Her aura became less like the one I saw around Dimitri and more like Lissa's, but not entirely like either. I looked at her file just to be sure and it had "Fire User" written in it. But then again mine used to say "Earth User", a useless attempt to hide the fact that I was undeclared at the moment.

She was looking at me with a mixture of confusion, anger and fear. It was still strange to me how many emotions can be woken up upon turning back. I realized I have been quiet for a while so I finally said: "Well you haven't been a Spirit user for quite some time, a lot has changed."

She flinched, like she got burned and a look of pain crossed her face. _Stupid_ , I thought, _that's probably something she doesn't want to be reminded of_. I instantly felt terrible for upsetting her so I quickly added: "Sorry, that came out wrong."

"No, it didn't. It came out the way it is. You are just stating the facts, nothing more", she said calmly, but I could clearly see the discomfort in her features.

I searched for something to say, but came up flat. She, on the other hand, had no trouble finding her words. It seemed like her mind was racing, her thoughts slipping off of her tongue at a speed of light: "Naturally, there must be a lot of things I don't know about the Spirit, things you don't know, things nobody knows, but for something so big, I mean how is it possible, how come I didn't even, I don't-."

She fell silent, staring somewhere above my shoulder, but nowhere in particular. I knew that look, those words, I sometimes slipped into those trances, glimpses of instability. That pushed me to find my words again and I, carefully placing my hand on top of the one she rested on the bed, said: "I know how this must feel, but you need to try to wrap your mind around it."

"Why? Why does it even matter?", she whispered, closing her eyes.

"It matters because you were given a second chance."

"I don't deserve it."

"Why do you think that?"

"Because of the things I've done."

"You weren't yourself, you can't blame-."

"I was myself, it was my hands and now there is so much blood on them, innocent blood", she ranted, looking at her hands almost like she expected that blood to still be there.

I opened my mouth and then closed it again. _Damn she really is fucked up bad_.

"Look, you did bad things and you didn't care, but now you do, so you can only forgive and redeem yourself, you can't go back and change them."

"How?", she softly cried out, "Where do I even begin to look for forgiveness?"

"Start small, work your way up. That's how I usually do it."

Suddenly, the door of the room slammed open making the both of us jump. A nurse stood in the doorway glaring at me angrily. I was busted.

"You", she yelled pointing her finger at me, "Out!"

I stood up, not waiting around to be told twice. The last thing I needed was this getting back to Lissa before I could tell her about my visit to Emilia myself. I gave Emilia a smile and repeated: "Start small."

She absently nodded and watched me leave. Once I was outside, I lit up a cigarette and started walking towards my next destination thinking our conversation over. I stopped when I reached the massive glass door and leaned against the building wall. I cast a look down the street and saw a familiar figure walking towards me. The light breeze pushed his black hair into his blue eyes. His footsteps were quick and long, so he approached me quite fast.

"Damn, if you're already here that means I'm late", Christian exclaimed coming to a halt in front of me.

"You're not late. I'm surprisingly early. I have a lot of time to waste you know, now that I'm VIP."

"As opposed to earlier", he sneered, while I gave him a shrug and stepped on my cigarette, "How are you by the way?"

"Fan-freaking-tastic", I responded flippantly. I couldn't remember the last time I had a good night's sleep and my mood was as closed to depressed as it could be, but I wasn't about to spill my guts to him.

"No really, how are you?", he questioned, his expression becoming more serious.

"I'm Adrian Ivashkov, I'm as fabulous as they come", I boasted giving him my best devil-may-care smile, "Are you okay though? I mean, for a minute there it actually seemed like you were worried about me. I thought you couldn't stand my sorry ass."

"I _can't_ stand your sorry ass, which doesn't mean I'm not worried that you'll go full-blown psycho and kill us all."

"I'm still half sane and you are not Paul Allen, so I think you are off the hook or well, axe."

"Aha, using pop cultural references, I'd say we are good then", he joked, "But next time, go for Hitchcock."

I laughed nodding at him before I straitened my coat and looked up the building and towards the windows of the apartment I was just about to walk into. Christian pointed towards the door and prompted: "Shall we?"

"Ladies first", I answered, pushing the door open for him.

He mumbled something intangible into his chin rolling his eyes while I smirked to myself. As soon as we reached the apartment Lissa opened with a frantic look on her face, grabbing the both of us and pulling us inside with surprising strength while shrieking: "You are late!"

"I told you", Christian declared glaring at me.

"Relax cousin, we are actually early", I said nonchalantly giving Lissa a pat on the shoulder.

"Hurry up", she blurted as she kept pushing us further into the apartment ignoring my words, "They are going to be here any minute now."

Like on cue, as soon as her words were out of her mouth, I heard a strong knock on the front door. She let out an excited squeal before rushing off. I leaned against the entrance of the living room and briefly pinched my eyes shut. _Welcome back to hell Adrian,_ I thought as I heard familiar voices floating my way.

* * *

 **Chapter song: Life starts now - Three days grace**


	4. CH4 - I'm Coming Home

**POV: Rose**

I was dreaming. It was one hell of a good dream. Dimitri and I were in a pizza bar eating donuts as desert, talking about how we should take a slight detour to a nearby motel to burn off some calories. Pizza, donuts and sex with Dimitri, is there anything better? A nudging on my shoulder was what pulled me out of the world of wonders and right back into my seat on this flying piece of sh-.

"Roza, come on wake up."

"Five more minutes", I mumbled sleepily, still not entirely ready to let go of the little fantasy playing in my mind.

Dimitri softly laughed and stroking my check announced: "We are landing."

I opened my eyes slowly, straitening up in my seat as his smile came into my focus. Always a good way to wake up, looking at the face of the man I love. I smiled back before I remembered again where I was and where I was heading. I cast a look to the right. Mark was nervously tapping his fingers on the book in his lap.

"You okay?", I asked him, watching his eyes nervously dart up to meet mine.

"I don't like plains", he replied, his voice slightly shaky.

"That makes two of us", I mumbled as I turned back towards Dimitri and placed my hand in his, tangling our fingers, "I wished we could have stayed at least two more days."

"Me too", he said looking out the window. I followed his gaze. The sun was setting down, but I could clearly see the familiar landscape underneath us. _Home sweet home._ I closed my eyes and let the memories from the past two weeks wash over me. As strange as it sounds they started with a huge fight.

 _"No, absolutely not! Where the hell did you get that idea?", I fumed, jumping out of my chair so fast I almost knocked it down in the process._

 _"Rose, you can't be around me twenty-four-seven", Lissa breathed out settling herself carefully onto the couch._

 _"The hell I can't, I'm your guardian Lissa, that's my job."_

 _"Yeah, well, you need to take vacations from time to time."_

 _"Vacations? Are you even hearing yourself?", I yelled pacing around the room._

 _"Rose sit down, you are giving me a headache", she pleaded, patting the empty seat next to her._

 _"I don't want to sit down and I don't want to go to Russia and leave you here unprotected."_

 _"I won't be unprotected, I'll have as many guardians as you see fit. Besides I won't be leaving Court so there will be no threats", she argued as I slowed down before coming to a stop._

 _"You and I both know there are as many threats inside these walls as there are outside", I argued._

 _"True", she admitted, "So like I said, pick as many guardians as you want and they will follow me around every minute of my time until you return. It's only a week."_

 _I finally sat down and with a sigh said: "Why do you need me to go? Can't Mark just buy a ticket and come here by himself?"_

 _"He can, but he'll be safer if you accompany him, because as you stated earlier there are a lot of threats out there. I already feel bad for letting Oksana come alone. She will arrive soon, but I just felt terrible knowing she had no protection flying in. You are the person I trust the most and I wouldn't ask this of you if I didn't find it important. Besides that's not the only reason I want you to go and you know it! You and Dimitri deserve some time off."_

 _"Yeah, good luck convincing him!", I huffed rolling my eyes._

 _"If I can convince you, I can convince anyone-."_

"Ladies and gentleman please fasten your-", the stewardess began instructing while I clasped my seatbelt clicking it into place my hands shaking a bit.

I hated flying. Probably since I still remembered the painful experience I had while I was seeing ghosts. More than that, I really, really hated landing, for the same reason. I felt my insides do a backflip as Dimitri squeezed my hand reassuringly. I tuned out again going back to my sweet memories in attempt to stop myself from thinking about all the things that could go wrong right now.

 _"Roza did you really need this many things? We are only staying for a couple of days", Dimitri asked trying to get a hold of my huge suitcase._

 _"More walking, less talking", I answered happily grinning._

 _I slammed the trunk of the taxi shut and cast a look towards Dimitri's house. The last time I was here I was at my lowest. I came to find and kill the man I loved and left Lissa behind thinking that I'll never see her again. Now, that same man was by my side and Lissa waiting for me to come home. I guess I can call my life a big fat win. The door of the house opened and Viktoria ran outside to greet us. She jumped into my arms and wrapped her hands tightly around my neck._

 _"Never mind me. I'm only your brother", Dimitri joked looking at his sister._

 _"Jealous much?", I teased, winking at him over Viktoria's shoulder._

 _A lot of bone crushing hugs later we were seated around the dining table, Dimitri's entire family fussing over us as more food kept piling up onto our plates. Olena really went overboard, which I was more than happy to see and taste._

 _"- and everybody is talking about it at school", Viktoria added before stuffing the rest of her meal into her mouth._

 _"Rose what's the matter? You've barley eaten anything", Olena asked looking at me as she reemerged from the kitchen._

 _"Are you kidding me? I ate like half of this table."_

 _"Don't worry mother, Roza is never shy when it comes to food", Dimitri reassured her._

 _I playfully punched his arm and whispered: "Thanks for the backup Comrade."_

 _He just smiled and leaned towards me placing a gentle kiss on my forehead. I glanced up and saw Olena watching us. She had tears in her eyes and when she realized I've seen them she turned around and went to the kitchen. I immediately_ _jumped from my chair and went after her. I found her leaning against the sink, her shoulders bunched up and her head hanging low, her back to me. I approached her carefully stepping aside so I can reach around and take her hands gently into mine._

 _"What's wrong?"_

 _"Nothing, Rose, everything is alright", she choked out, fighting her tears as she lifted her hand and placed it under my chin, "Thank you. There are no words to describe how grateful I am to you. You gave me my son back and on top of that you've made him so happy."_

 _Tears stared rolling down her cheeks and I instinctively hugged her mumbling into her hair: "Don't thank me. I had to do that. I couldn't live without him."_

 _She just hugged me tighter before gently pushing me away a little so she could look me in the eyes and whisper: "You are my Aнгел."_

 _"Is everything alright?", Dimitri asked uncertainty as he came into the kitchen startling us._

 _"Fine", Olena answered, quickly wiping her tears away, "We were just talking about dessert."_

A round of applause for a nice landing. It didn't feel nice to me at all, but I joined the people around me, glancing at Mark who seemed to be in an even worse state than I was. As we got up and gathered our things I slipped by Dimitri to get ahead of him, gently brushing against him. The touch sent a shiver down my spine. Was I ever going to get used to touching him? Even if I was, I was pretty sure I was never going to stop enjoying it. I sure as hell more than enjoyed it in Russia.

 ***M***

 _I was on fire. His lips moved from my mouth slowly down to my neck and lower. I gasped before biting my tongue in order to hold back a moan._ _He kept going, only stopping to get rid of the only piece of clothing I had left. I was impatient, so as soon as my panties hit the floor, I sat up grabbing him by his shoulders. I climbed into his lap and kissed him hungrily. The mattress squeaked slightly as we shifted our weight on it. His palms traveled up my sides stopping to tangle into my hair as he pierced me with his gaze, his eyes filled with passion and longing, his lips set into a small smile._

 _"Always in a rush", he chuckled under his breath._

 _"Shut up", I roared, trying to kiss every inch of his skin available to me in this position._

 _"Make me", he whispered playfully as he used his hold on my hair to pull my head back so my eyes could meet his again._

 _Good God, if anyone could hear him now they would think he is a completely different man. He was always so good at keeping up the whole serious guardian look, so responsible and presentable, but with me, in moments like this, all barriers were gone, self-control lost completely. And I loved it. Well, I loved everything about him, but this deserved a big fat plus._

 _I was beyond done teasing him. I knew he wanted me just as bad as I wanted him since the situation in his lap was getting to eager to get a move on things. I pulled myself up using his shoulders as support and then slid down slowly, taking him in completely, my eyes never leaving his as I did. We both gasped as I moved down and I swear his eyes almost rolled back when I stopped. He pressed his lips together, probably trying to stop himself from producing any sounds or words. I didn't have his kind of restrain._

 _"Fuck", I murmured throwing my head back._

 _He caught my lower lip with his teeth, tugging it slightly, like he was trying to get my attention. I straightened back up, still gripping his shoulders tight as I finally adjusted to the feeling of him fully inside of me. He was surprisingly patient, but his eyes were burning with desire_. _He was letting me take the lead, but it was just a matter of time before he took things into his own hands. That's why I decided to give him a dose of his own usual medicine and drive him wild. I stared into his eyes as I started moving. I took my sweet time, doing it agonizingly slow. I knew what I was doing to him so I waited for the inevitable explosion. And when it happened he grabbed my hips, rolling us over and pushing me back into the mattress hard, taking control. He picked up the pace and I dig my nails into his back letting a low moan past my lips unable to hold back anymore. He kissed me, trying to muffle the sounds coming from the both of us. I bucked my hips up to meet his thrusts as my hands skimmed down to his ass. I pulled him down eager to make him go even faster, but he quickly grabbed my hands, pinning them above my head. He did however_ _push harder and faster, which, so help me God, took away the last piece of control I had left within me. I only managed to rip one of my hands out of his grip so I can clamp it over mouth before I cried out and closed my eyes as a wave of complete and intoxicating pleasure washed over me._

 ***M***

 _A lot of hushed cries and whimpers later we finally feel asleep. I woke to the blinding light of the rising sun that bathed my face, nudging me to get up. Our sleeping schedule was all screwy since we've decided to use the opportunity to actually see the daylight while we didn't have our charges to protect. Still it was quite early so I decided against waking Dimitri up and since I didn't really feel like doing the walk of shame alone I busied myself by reading a book. Dimitri would be proud to see me holding one of his westerns, though I will certainly not admit the deed if he doesn't catch me in the act._

 _At some point I stood up and leaned next to the window, watching the sun sprawl over the grass and trees outside as it was chasing its peak. I heard Dimitri stir and after a while get up, but I didn't move until he walked up to me, wrapping his hand around my waist and leaning his head on my shoulder. I leaned into his embrace and rested my arms over his. Taking in every detail of the landscape in front of me once again I whispered: "It's beautiful out here."_

 _"Yes, it is", he confirmed burring his face into my hair, "You know what else is beautiful?"_

 _I giggled before turning around to look at him and mumble against his lips: "That's cheesy."_

 _"But it's the truth", he insisted, "You are the most beautiful woman in the world."_

 _"To you maybe, but I guess other opinions doesn't really matter in this case, right?"_

 _He answered by lightly pressing his lips against mine before adding: "I love you my sweet Roza."_

 _"I love you too."_

The closer we got to the Court the more ecstatic I became. It surprised me since I was more than reluctant and sad to leave Dimitri's house and our dreamy week in Russia behind. It was only natural though that I'd missed Lissa like crazy while I was away. My perfect life wasn't so perfect without her. Not having the bond anymore sucked when we were apart like this.

Once we were in our building I half-ran up the stairs. I banged on the door of our apartment so hard I thought I would knock it down. Dimitri probably thought the same since he warned: "Easy."

The door flew open and Lissa threw herself in my arms instantly as she squealed into my ear: "Oh, I missed you soooo much."

"I know", I simply answered, because we didn't even need the bond to know how we felt.

When she managed to let go of me she gave Dimitri a hug as well while I strolled inside, breathing in the familiar scent of the place that has become home to me and that I now loved so much. I bumped into Christian who just joined us, extending his arms to give me a hug as well.

"Hey bitch."

"Hey jerk", he answered while I hugged him back.

As I stepped away from him, I glanced over his shoulder only to realize Lissa and Christian weren't the only people waiting to welcome us back. I was honestly taken by surprise when I registered Adrian casually leaning against the living room door. He had his usual devil-may-care smile, but it was clear he was uncomfortable. He was watching me with a mixture of feelings and when he opened his mouth I prepared myself for some cold remark which was lately the usual substitute for his witty quips. It was safe to say our friendship was going through quite a rough patch.

"What, no hug for me?", he teased still smiling, while I searched for a hint of sarcasm or mockery in his voice or expression, but surprisingly not finding any.

I approached him unsteadily and reached for him slowly, afraid he might change his mind about wanting a hug and attack me for invading his personal space or something. He didn't. He simply warped me in his arms and rubbed my back soothingly before he pulled away. My eyebrow shot up while I joked: "Who are you and what have you done to Adrian Ivashkov?"

"I stuffed him into my closet", he quipped winking at me.

 _Did he just wink at me? What the hell?_ Either I missed something or this really was some stranger who looked just like Adrian, but wasn't him at all. I studied him carefully and asked: "Are you okay?"

"Jeez, why does everybody keep asking me that today? I'm fine. Just, you know, moving on and all."

"Hmm, I think you need a drink. Scratch that, I think _I_ need one."

He chuckled and patted my shoulder. It was amazing seeing Adrian like this. He was almost like his old self, almost like before. Dimitri appeared behind us and in that moment Adrian's face fell. It was barely noticeable, but I knew him well. Almost like before. With a fake smile he glanced at Dimitri, nodded and said: "Welcome home."

Unlike me, Dimitri didn't notice the mood change and simply answered: "Thank you Adrian. It's good to see you."

Adrian turned to the dining room and mumbled something into his chin and I swear I heard him say: "Sure it is."

* * *

 **Chapter song: I'm coming home - J. Cole**

 **To avoid any confusion, the italic parts in this story are usually flashbacks (memories), thoughts or inner conversation with oneself etc. Hope that clears up any potential confusion!**


	5. CH5 - Everybody Wants To Rule The World

**POV: Lissa**

 **Couple of months earlier**

"Lissa you really didn't have to."

"Nonsense. Being the Queen's sister has to have its advantages. Taking you out to dinner is the least I can do."

"But this restaurant is so-", Jill mumbled her eyes wide as she glanced at the bright lights set at the entrance of the Court's most expensive and elegant restaurant.

"Great you're here", Rose cut in walking towards us.

She was wearing a dress, which has become a rare thing lately. She usual had some fit clothes that allowed her to move fast and with no effort, the adequate attire for a guardian. I knew for a fact she missed dressing up for something and tonight gave her a good excuse, so she was quite a thing to see. The dress was black and clinging to her body perfectly, covering everything down to her knees, except for the back that was a slightly lower cut, nothing tacky, but just on the edge of appropriate. She had high heeled shoes in a dark red color that matched her clutch purse. I noticed the purse was a bit blown up from its contents, making me realize she's stashed a stake inside of it. She wouldn't go anywhere without that thing. Her beautiful curls jumped up and down as she walked, twirling around her face which I noticed was under full make up as she neared us.

"Don't you look great", I commented with a giggle.

"Ditto", she chuckled before glancing at Jill and adding, "And you are just adorable."

Jill instantly blushed, her shoulders flopping down like she was trying to make herself smaller. She was so insecure I just constantly had a nagging need to hug her and hide her from the rest of world in my arms. She was especially adorable tonight in a flowery flared dress and ballet flats, her hair picked up in a neat bun and her makeup light, almost invisible.

Christian and Dimitri appeared behind Rose looking, well, put in Rose's words "mighty hot". They both had tuxes and they certainly knew how to wear them. As soon as Jill noticed them she turned to me and whispered: "How many people did you invite?"

"A few. Just close friends", I assured her, but when a panicked look crossed her face I added, "Adrian is coming."

We all knew she had a crush on Adrian and as I suspected she immediately lightened up when I mentioned him. _Mean Lissa_ , I thought to myself.

"Since we are all here, shall we?", Christian prompted while he opened the restaurant door.

"Adrian?", I asked as I wrapped my arm around his.

"Inside", he mumbled frowning.

I knew that disapproving look which only led me to believe Adrian was apparently not up to a good behavior tonight. I just hoped he will control himself for Jill's sake. We walked in and the hostess led us to our table. Indeed, we found Adrian sitting in the corner next to the window staring out into the night, a glass of whisky in his hand. I had a feeling that wasn't his first glass. However, as soon as we approached he glanced at us and stood up, instantly splashing a fake polite smile on his face. So he was trying, that's a good sign. Jill slowly pushed her way beside me, making Adrian immediately switch to a much more honest expression as he's smiled turned into a real and cordial one.

"Jailbait, you look simply astonishing. Looks like you are about to outshine every girl in this place. Somebody should have put a warning label on that flowery delight", he exclaimed looking at her dress.

She blushed from head to toe and almost tripped over her own feet. Grabbing the chair next to her for support she quickly mumbled: "Um, thank you."

He approached her and hugged her, oblivious to the fact that she was about to faint any minute now. When he let go of her, I could almost hear her gasp and it actually made me chuckle softly. It was sometimes easy to forget how strong of an affect Adrian had on women, since I only saw him as a dear friend. He waived to the rest of us and set back in his chair as we all settled down.

Every one of us spent the evening laughing and talking, well except for Adrian and Rose who barely looked at each other. Adrian was surprisingly keeping it together, but I figured the alcohol helped. Christian asked for the bill and I was in the middle of talking about a shopping trip I wanted to make with Rose when a man approached us. He was around Adrian's height, Christians built, a Moroi with blond hair and brown eyes, just an ordinary guy. Jill just stood up to go to the bathroom when he stepped in front of her.

"Jillian Mastrano?", he asked coldly.

"Yes", she answered looking at him confused.

"I have a message for you", he said and that's when I saw metal shining in his hand.

I screamed so loud I thought the building will collapse on us. Rose and Dimitri were on their feet before I could even begin to move. Dimitri jumped on the guy and Rose pushed me and Christian back, protecting us from any other possible threats. I couldn't move. I was frozen, just staring in disbelief, trying to wrap my mind around what was going on. Jill took a few steps back and looked at her hand, a hand covered in blood. She glanced at me, a terrified expression dancing over her face, before she lost her balance and started to fall. I pushed against Rose and tried to reach her, but it was in vain since Rose was ten times stronger than me even with the adrenaline pumping through my veins.

"Jill", I screamed. I couldn't see her anymore.

The guy that attacked her was on the ground knocked out cold. The restaurant was a mess, Morois running out and guardians running in.

"Jill", I cried out again pounding on Rose's back.

She finally realized what I was trying to do so she pulled both Christian and me around the table to where Jill was. I found her on the ground. Her bright dress, her arms, the floor it was all stained with blood. Adrian was kneeling above her, her head in his lap. He was stroking her hair as he whispered soothingly: "Shhh, it's okay Jill, you are okay."

She was shaking, still in shock, clutching to his arm like he was the last thing keeping her together. I fell down next to her as my legs finally gave out, taking her hand in mine. I cast a look to the place the knife pierced her skin and there wasn't even a scratch. Looking at Adrian I saw Spirit slowly dialing down in his aura. He looked like he might pass out. He's been drinking, so I knew it must have taken him double the energy to heal a wound that was apparently more than severe.

"Jill, don't worry, you are safe now", I whispered squeezing her hand.

"He stabbed me, he stabbed me", she stammered out, her eyes filling with tears.

"We have to get out of here", Rose insisted, leaning over me to assess the situation.

I was about to protest Jill was in no condition to walk, wound or no wound, when Adrian shifted, putting his arms underneath her and lifting her off the ground. Jill wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her head into his shoulder. Without a word Adrian started walking towards the exit and he didn't stop until he reached his house. We followed him silently while a hefty number of guardians followed _us_. Once in front of the entrance of his house Adrian turned to me and I gave the guardians a signal to stay back.

"The keys are in my pocket", he whispered, making me realize Jill fell asleep in his arms, succumbing to the exhaustion of the traumatic event she luckily survived.

I was wondering why I too haven't fainted already, since I didn't think I could handle anything else right about now. I quickly fetched the keys and opened the door wanting to get inside and sit down as fast as possible. The house was a mess, because he was renovating it, since I got it for him a week ago. It was a part of the job arrangement, one of the perks I mentioned. He claimed to be in the process of fixing everything, himself included, thus his slightly improved behavior earlier tonight. He climbed upstairs and the rest of us went into the living room. I sat on the couch and stared into the dusty floor. The furniture was still covered with protective wraps so it rustled when I wiggled in my seat. Christian sat next to me, hugging me, while Rose and Dimitri settled themselves on the armchairs. I wanted to cry, but I felt too tired to do so. After a while Adrian reemerged from the hallway heading straight towards the liquor cabinet.

"Is she alright?", I asked, watching him pour a glass of some questionably looking drink.

"She is fine", he answered coldly, turning around and leaning against the cabinet.

"Thank you", I whispered, fixing my eyes on his blazing green.

He was angry. I wasn't exactly sure who he was angry with, but his voice was as sharp as knife when he spat out: "Thank me by making sure this doesn't happen again."

I opened my mouth in an attempt to respond to him, but I honestly didn't know what to say. Although it felt like he was accusing me of being responsible for what happened tonight, I knew he didn't mean it like that. I was, however, responsible of keep her safe and I failed utterly at that. If Adrian hadn't been there-.

"All of this is my fault", I cried out loud not being able to hold back, burying my head in my hands.

"You are not the one that stabbed her", Christian pointed out.

"It might have as well been me."

"There is no point in pointing fingers now. Instead of wasting our time on that, we should be looking for a way to protect her", Rose cut in, quick to come up with a solution to a situation we didn't even know we were in up until minutes ago, "She can't go back to Saint Vlad's. If she got attacked here, she won't be safe there either."

"She won't be safe anywhere", Dimitri murmured lost in his thoughts.

"Well don't sugarcoat it Belikov", Adrian sneered, knocking back the rest of his drink and pouring another glass.

"What's your plan then? Keep her locked up in Court?", Christian mocked, focusing on Rose and ignoring Adrian's comment.

"Do you have a better idea?", she retorted angrily.

"Send her to school", Adrian murmured.

"Are you deaf? I just said she won't be safe there", Rose exclaimed. It was the first thing she has said to him all night.

He smiled, but it was a twisted smile. He lifted his glass resting his lips on the edge, but not drinking it. He looked up at Rose, finally, his eyes challenging her to say something to him again. She took the bait, obviously beyond irritated by his smile, fuming: "You think this is funny? She is in this mess because of us."

He still looked at her coldly as he answered: "No, there is nothing funny about this and she is in this mess because of _you_ , not us. You are the one who dragged Jill into this, so instead of thinking you are the smartest person in the room and that your way is the best way, maybe you should shut the hell up and let us clean up your mess, like always."

"How dare you?", Rose shouted, her fist clutching by her sides. I didn't really think she would hit Adrian, but he sure was testing her boundaries.

"No, how dare _you_?", Adrian yelled while slamming his glass on the cabinet, "I told you your happy ending has left a huge collateral damage all around the place, but you didn't listen. You were so full of yourself thinking that I'm beneath you because I consider myself a victim. A fifteen year-old girl just got stabbed, because of you and you still don't see it, do you? You still don't acknowledge that you made her into a victim by your choices. You still don't see that you fucked up her life because you wanted it ALL!"

"You are a piece of s-."

"Stop it, stop, both of you", I cried out standing up.

"I will not stand here and let him-", Rose fumed before I cut her off in the calmest voice I could possibly produce: "Rose please."

Adrian however, only seemed to get angrier and any self-control and calmness he had vanished as he growled through gritted teeth: "Then get out!"

I turned around planning to scold him just like I did Rose, but one glance at his face and I stopped in my tracks. He wore a look I have never seen before on him. It was pure rage. I looked at his aura and realized in the midst of all of this chaos, I've forgotten to take into account just how much Spirit he needed to pull to help Jill. He pulled her back from the brink of death, it was almost as much power as I needed to bring back Rose.

"Adrian", I whispered unsteadily.

"OUT!", he screamed and that's when his glass blew up to pieces. I've seen what an angry Spirit User can do, Avery was extremely powerful when she tried to kill me, but I have never seen anything like this. I knew Adrian became stronger, but up until this moment I didn't realize how much.

"Rose go", I said keeping my eyes on Adrian.

"But-."

"Go!", I ordered. She didn't move at first, but then I heard her footsteps and the front door slamming behind her.

"Dimitri, take Christian home", I added, "Don't worry I'm safe here, plenty of guardians outside."

Unlike Rose the two of them didn't protest, they just stood up silently and left.

"Sit down", I said to Adrian calmly. He considered it for a few seconds, but then he obliged.

"What is you plan?", I prompted, sitting next to him.

"You really want to hear it?", he questioned, slowly calming down.

"When I offered you a job as my Advisor, I think I've made it clear how much fate I have in you. So yes, I want to hear it."

"Okay. We send her to school, but not Saint Vlad's. We send her to Alder. I went there and I can tell you it's way smaller and way more exclusive than any other Academy. It will be much easier to protect her there and let her have a semi-normal life."

He kept going, talking about how we could arrange it all and I realized yet again that there was more to Adrian than it meets the eye. "Hiring" him might have been the best decision I've made since I became the Queen. Sure I had many experienced, older and wiser people at my disposal, but he was the one that actually cared, the one who I was certain wouldn't let me down despite his faults.

 **Present day**

This was my family. I loved each and every person that sat around this table more than I could put to words. I didn't even realize how much I missed having them all together like this. My sister was the only piece left to make this moment whole, but she was going to join us soon, hopefully.

"And there I was thinking I knew how to cook. This was amazing!", Christian exclaimed before wiping his mouth.

I smiled at him warmly, feeling him squeeze my knee under the table. I let my hand wonder over his as he moved his fingers up, causing me to blush slightly. Adrian sat next to him and I saw his eyes travel to the edge of the table before the corner of his mouth twitched into a tiny smile while he announced: "You have outdone yourself Your Majesty. You deserve every type of praise."

He always noticed everything. It was fascinating and irritating in the same time. I quickly pulled my hand up, resting it on the table, earning an even wider smile from Adrian. Rose wiggled next to me. She was still eating, but she nodded in approval and managed to give me a half smile with her mouth full of pasta.

"Well done", Dimitri confirmed, glancing at Rose with an amused expression.

"Thank you. It was really nothing, but I'm glad you all like it", I blurted, feeling shy with the spotlight set on me.

As we all finished up the light chitchat continued going around the table before Adrian suddenly looked straight at me and casually asked: "So, how is Jailbait doing?"

Naturally, I knew straight away there was nothing casual about his question. He must have noticed the longing I've began feeling earlier reflecting in my aura. It was so unfair to have such perfect insight into someone's feeling and be graced with an observant mind like his in the same time. I pushed myself to smile mimicking his calmness before I answered: "Oh, she is great. You were right, she likes Alder very much, but she said to tell all of you that she misses you."

He nodded satisfied to hear the good news. He really cared about her. It was heartwarming, especially after everything that happened.

"I miss her too", was all he added, his eyes darting back to his empty plate.

"She'll be coming to the Court as soon as the holidays start", I concluded smiling to myself at the thought.

"Excuse me", Dimitri said, getting up and heading towards the bathroom.

As soon as he was out of the room I turned to Rose, eager to switch the touchy subject and mention the thing I've been dying to discuss with her: "I have to tell you something. I didn't want to say anything in front of Dimitri, because I'm guessing it still might be a delicate topic for him, but we, well Oksana brought somebody back, a girl named Emilia Lazar."

"She did what?", Rose spat out in alarm.

"Don't worry she is okay, tired but okay. The girl on the other hand, not so much. So maybe when she stabilizes a bit Dimitri could talk to her if you think he'll be alright with it."

"Sure, I'll talk to him when the time comes, but it was smart of you not to mention it now. He would've marched straight to her and I don't think he should drag himself back into that world just yet."

"Good, so we keep it a secret for now. Only a few people know so it won't be that hard."

"She is getting better", Adrian commented, playing with his handkerchief.

"How do you know?", I asked in confusion, frowning at him.

"I went to see her", he answered nonchalantly.

"ADRIAN", I yelled, "I told you-."

"I know, I know. Be careful. Got it. I was. I just talked to her. Explained what was going on. And I found out something about her too. She is a Spirit User."

"Wait, what?", I exclaimed almost falling out of my seat from shock.

"Yeah, my reaction exactly", he chuckled, "But it makes sense."

"How does it make sense?", Rose questioned not being able to follow.

"Adrian told me her aura was different, but he could quite figure out why", I answered, before turning to Adrian to add, "That's amazing. The more Spirit Users we find the better."

"See, it turns out it _is_ better when I do things my way", Adrian boasted.

I just laugh in defeat: "I'm not even going to bother fighting you on that one anymore. So like I said, we'll give her some time to stabilize and then will see what we'll do with her."

"Do what with whom?", Dimitri asked returning.

"Jill, when she comes back. We so totally need to take her to that shopping trip", Rose cut in changing the subject elegantly.

We kept talking and making plans, but my mind was elsewhere. I was still thinking about the fact that we had yet another Spirit User on our hands. The only problem was I truly had no idea what to do with her.

* * *

 **Chapter song: Everybody wants to rule the world - Lorde**


	6. CH6 - People Help The People

**POV: Emilia**

"What are you going to do with me?", I asked the nurse, prompting my body up on my elbows in an attempt to see what she was doing.

She just kept checking the machines around me like I never said a word, not even looking at me as if I was invisible. I waved at her, trying to get her attention as I fumed: "Hello? Are you deaf?"

Still no answer. I took a deep breath and leaned back on the pillows in dejection. I pulled the covers down slightly placing my arm over them before I started scratching it where the needle marks were still visible. The more I scratched the itchier my skin felt.

"Don't touch that!", the nurse ordered, giving me a sharp look.

"Oh, she talks!", I retorted, rolling my eyes to signify how annoying she has become.

Before any more words could be exchanged or rather not exchanged between us, since she was obviously going to go back to being silent again, the door of the room opened. Another nurse popped up from behind it, only to quickly ask: "Is everything in order?"

"Yes", the mute answered shortly.

"I'll send her in then."

She disappeared as fast as she appeared and the next time the door opened a women walked in. I recognized her instantly. It was my angel. Her light brown hair was pulled into a slick ponytail, her clothes perfectly straightened up and tucked in and her thin lips set into a polite smile.

"Hello Emilia, how are you feeling today?", she asked as her eyes, a shade darker than her hair, traveled up to meet mine.

"Fine, thank you", I answered trying to come up with a smile like hers, but winding up with an awkward half grin.

"That's very good to hear", she confirmed, ignoring my sad attempt to greet her the same way she greeted me.

After a few seconds I cast a look down to her hands only to realize she held a big bag in them which she placed on the table near the door. The mute nurse exited and we were left alone.

"I brought you some clothes", she announced pointing towards the bag.

"Thank you."

Good God, it's like I've forgotten any other words from the vocabulary except "thank you". I guess there wasn't really anything more to say when you really thought about it. Maybe "I'm sorry" would be appropriate since I've done a lot of things that asked for apologies, that could still never make any of it right.

"We'll be moving you to an apartment", she added leaning against the table near the bag, "You no longer need to stay here."

"Apartment?", I asked in utter confusion.

"Yes, the Queen arranged it for you. She thought you might feel more comfortable there than here", she elaborated, studying my expression which literally screamed _I'm lost_ at her.

"Queen Tatiana?", I questioned as I pulled myself up to a sitting position.

"No, Queen Vasilisa", she answered frowning, now being her turn to be confused.

 _Vasilisa?_ I had no idea who that was. I tried to maintain a casual tone as I asked: "What happened to Tatiana?"

"She was killed."

"Oh", I said vaguely. _I guess I missed a lot_. I wasn't surprised though. Politics didn't really interest me when I was a Strigoi. Not that they interested me much even before that.

I slowly pulled the sheets off my legs and slid them to the side of the bed. I stood up unsteadily since I've been lying around for almost a week now and my feet felt weak. I tried moving, but the first step I made sent me flying towards the floor. Forbes was fast, she managed to snatch my hand and pull me up before I landed face flat. She helped me stabilize and then stepped back looking at me worriedly.

"Can you walk?"

"I can try", I answered, managing a small smile.

I took a few more steps before I nodded, letting her know I'm good. She reluctantly let go off me, but remained close in case I started to fall again. I made my way towards the bag and picked it up.

"I'm going to go change", I announced before walking towards the bathroom as fast as my legs would allow it.

Once behind closed doors I placed the bag on the counter next to the sink and looked up to the mirror. _Good God, I look awful_. I turned the water on and splashed it over my face. Looking into the mirror again I noticed the towels that were neatly pilled next to the bathtub behind me. I stripped my hospital clothes off before a coherent thought even formed in my head and climbed in. Turning the shower on I slowly slid underneath the stream. A shiver ran up my spine as the water soaked my hair. Everything felt different now, even the feeling of water on my skin. Once I was finished, I wrapped the towel around my body, opening the bag to find underwear, back slim pants, a white blouse and flat black shoes. Clothes weren't the only thing I found in the bag. There was a hairbrush, a couple of elastic bands and a bit of makeup. _Somebody really thought of everything_.

I got dressed, brushed my damp hair into a ponytail and applied the makeup on. After collecting my former clothing along with the towel I used and placing them in a pile on the counter, I took a deep breath and cracked open the door.

"It took you long enough!"

My eyes shot up at the sound of a strangely familiar voice that didn't seem to belong to Forbes, only to find Adrian leaning against by bed. Forbes smiled at his words before she scolded him: "You are the one to talk Ivashkov. It takes you double this time to get out of the bed alone."

"Hey, hey! You don't get to look as fabulous as I do if you don't take your time preparing for the outside world", he exclaimed before pushing his body up from the bed and adding while scanning me from head to toe, "I got to say though, it was worth the wait. You look like a completely different person."

"I'll take that as a compliment", I answered, not being able to help a small smile spreading over my face.

He was so straightforward, shameless and actually pretty strange, but there was something very natural in his extravagant behavior, something that made him rather likeable.

"You should!", he confirmed before he walked up to the door behind which hid a world I have completely forgotten, pulling it open and adding: "Shall we?"

 **POV: Lissa**

I shifted my weight from one foot to another again. I was nervous and excited at the same time. Emilia's condition was still questionable, but meeting another Spirit User was going to be trilling nonetheless.

"They are late", Rose stated glancing at her watch.

I stayed silent and kept looking towards the end of the hallway waiting for them to emerge. I tuned out and focused on my energy. As the door of the building opened I instantly felt Adrian's presence. I also felt an unfamiliar low hum of energy radiating close to his. That must be _her_. When they rounded the corner my eyes immediately fell on Emilia. She was beautiful, despite the obvious signs of exhaustion. Her long red hair was pulled back, her big violet eyes shining like crystals. She was extremely good looking for a Moroi, built more like Rose than me, but taller than her. The clothes that were more than ordinary were clinging to her body, showing her curves in a very attractive way. As they reached us, she immediately bowed, forming a perfect pose, showing evident signs of her Royal upbringing.

"Your Majesty", she said in gentle, melodic voice.

"Please, call me Lissa", I insisted offering her my hand. She took it with a dose of uncertainty and gave me a small smile.

"I wanted to officially welcome you back to the Court and show you your apartment. You can stay in it as long as you like and we'll talk about further arrangements when you are ready", I explained smiling back.

"Not that I'm not grateful, I am truly, but why am I here?", she asked glancing, back and forth between Rose and I.

"Well, um, I thought you might feel more comfortable here rather than the medical wing", I stammered, confused by her question.

"No. Why am I here, as in the Court? Am I a prisoner now?"

Before I could answer, Adrian burst into laughter dragging our attention to him: "Relax Lazar, no one is going to keep you here against your will. We are just trying to help you get back to your life, that's all."

Rose anticipated her next question before she even managed to open her mouth and added more formally: "The Queen cares for all of her subject's well-being and we've dealt with a similar situation to yours before, which is why we are fully aware of how difficult this is for you. As soon as you feel like you should take charge, you'll have the full freedom to decide what is next for you. But, until then, you'll have us at your disposal."

I glanced at Rose raising my eyebrow. She despised formalities and now she was the one forcing them. She noticed my questioning look so she quickly, almost unnoticeably shrugged.

"Plus, we want to do crazy science experiments on you, find out all of those things nobody knows about the Spirit", Adrian cut it, playfully pocking her arm.

I cringed, waiting for her to get upset or be appalled by his statement, but she just flashed him a smile and retorted: "You are way behind on that department Ivashkov."

"Since when do you call me that?"

"Since you started getting on my nerves", she chuckled, rolling her eyes.

Their exchange took me by surprise. They acted like they've known each other for years. Then again, maybe she was just trying to cover her discomfort by acting natural and using the person she's seen the most since she's got here as a focus. And Adrian was just being Adrian.

"I like her already", Rose whispered to me, obviously referring to her evident lack of fear to challenge the people around her. That's something they had in common.

"Thank you, for your concern", Emilia expressed turning to me, "I hope, I won't cause more trouble than I already have."

"I'm sure you won't. And crazy experiments aside, I would actually like to talk to you about our element whenever you feel up to it", I said picking my words carefully, playing between the line of being the Queen and being me.

"Of course", she confirmed with a nod.

"Let's get you settled then", Forbes finally voiced, reminding us of her presence.

Rose pushed the door open and gestured us all in. Emilia took a deep breath and stepped inside. I stayed close behind and looked up at her aura. I could see strikes of grey, dark blue, lemon yellow and muddy red, all indicating her fear, uneasiness and nervousness, but the shiny gold of the Spirit was still the boldest color amongst them and I swear it was becoming stronger by the second.

As we entered the room Emilia's words still echoed through my head. " _I hope I won't cause more trouble."_ For some unexplainable reason I shivered, somehow, beyond all reason, knowing the trouble she has caused so far will be nothing compared to the trouble yet to come.

 **POV: Emilia**

I thought being alone for a change would be a good thing. I was wrong. Since the moment I was left on my own in my new apartment and the door closed, shutting out the world beyond it, I was restless. I walked around in circles scanning the perfect and brand new furniture, I flipped through the channels on the TV someone graciously decided to put here, I took another bath just for the heck of it, I ordered in food and stuffed myself with calories and finally when I had nothing better to do I sprawled over the queen-sized bed. I spent the following hours staring up at the ceiling, begging my mind to tire down so I could pass out. I had no luck for a long time, but when the time came for my eyes to slowly start closing, either from actual sleepiness or just from plainly being bored, I realized just how much suffering I was actually in for.

The first flash I had behind close eyelids was a woman screaming her vocal cords soar as I ripped into her neck. My eyes flew open and I rolled over to the side hugging my pillow. I took a deep breath and tried to calm down, repeating to myself that everything will be alright. I dosed off and then it happened again. Only this time the horrific scene playing in my mind didn't quite let go as fast as the first one.

 _I was walking down a narrow street plunged into. My heels clicked over the pavement echoing off the walls of the buildings around me. The place looked familiar and only seconds later I remembered where this memory was from. Rome. A loud screeching of a car coming to a stop at the end of the street broke through the silence. I prolonged my steps, reaching the black Audi that looked like it just rolled off the production line second ago. I cracked open the passenger door and slipped inside turning to the driver._

 _"Did you have fun darling?", he asked, his eyes skimming down my body and my extremely short dress._

 _"Not as much as you have, apparently", I commented glancing around the car, "Where did you get this?"_

 _"The owner lend it to me", he laughed coldly as a muffled cry came from the back._

 _"The owner that's in the trunk?", I questioned, licking my lips hungrily._

 _He didn't answer. Instead, he smiled ominously before slamming his foot on the paddle. We slipped through the streets fast, the world outside melting into a blur. We didn't talk, but I slipped my hand on his leg, rubbing it up and down, earning an appreciative groan and nothing more. As he stopped the car in the driveway of our villa he leaned over to me, but I quickly pushed the door open and hopped out._

 _"Such a tease Emilia", he growled after me, but I ignored him smiling to myself as I rounded the car and opened the trunk._

 _The guy inside looked up at me, stopping in the middle of what seemed to be like an attempt to cry out for help again. His grey eyes were glossy, lips quivering, cold sweat dripping down his forehead. I squinted at him, not because I had trouble seeing, my eyesight was perfect in the dark, but because he looked rather familiar._

 _"_ _Emilia", he breathed out as I cracked my head to the side._

 _And then it hit me. Julian Badic, one of my close friends from way back when. I haven't seen him in years, but gazing down on him now I felt a strange pang in my chest for only a moment, before everything inside of me froze over again. I felt strong arms circle my waist and a rush of air on my neck._

 _"_ _You like?"_

 _"_ _Very", I responded, grabbing Julian by the collar of his shirt and dragging him out of the trunk._

 _He gasped and tripped, struggling to get out of my grip as I hauled him inside. He begged, pleaded, but I didn't even pay attention to his cries. I threw him on the bed and climbed on top of him before he could even consider trying to run away._

 _"_ _Emilia, please, we are friends. You don't want to hurt me", he cried out in a futile attempt to reason with me, like he didn't know better. There is no reasoning with a Strigoi. We want something, we take it, end of story._

 _"_ _Oh, I do. I do want to hurt you very much", I laughed before digging my fangs into his artery._

I jerked awake so harshly I almost fell out of the bed. My heart was thumping like crazy and my clothes were soaked. I tried to get a hold of my breathing, but it seemed like an impossible task. I rolled over once again, running a hand through my hair nervously as a single thought crossed my mind. _I wish that stake killed me instead of bringing me back, it certainly would have been a lot easier._

* * *

 **Chapter song: People help the people - Birdy**

 **AN from the old version (I decided to keep this part): There is one special person I wanted to express my gratitude to publicly aka right here and now. A while ago I ran into this wonderful story, it was a Romitri fan fiction (and yes I'll finally admit it, I don't really like those, not that I don't like them as a pair, I just don't like reading about them as much) and I surprisingly fell in love with it. The story "Not Just Another Mafia Princess" (= CHECK IT OUT!) was very well written, mysterious, fun, lemony, it honestly had everything. So eventually I decided to write to the amazing author of this story, Kooki, and ask her for some help and suggestions regarding my writing and my story. And this wonderful person has helped me tremendously so again I'd like to say THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOUUU so much for taking the time to read my story and the patience to help me understand and learn!**


	7. CH7 - Stranger

**POV: Dimitri**

"Dimitri, how does this fucking thing turn on?", Rose growled in the distance, her words accompanied by a loud banging.

I dropped my bag on the bed and followed the sound of her voice to the bathroom. I walked in as she moved aside, allowing me a clear view of what she was having trouble with. As soon as I saw her glaring at the washing machine I burst into laughter.

"Well I'm glad this is amusing for you", she exclaimed, furiously banging her hand on top off it again.

"It is amusing! It's amusing because you are fearless when you are up against a Strigoi, you could take down and army, but a washing machine is the real monster in your nightmares", I said approaching her and hugging her gently, "I'll do it."

"No, no, I want to do it!", she argued, looking up at me with a determined expression.

"Alright, come on Roza, I'll lead you through it again", I added. After about five minutes the machine roared to life and Rose started jumping around the bathroom pumping her fists in the air.

"I got you, you bastard!", she gloated, looking towards the machine victoriously.

I just smiled letting her finish her victory dance. We made our way out of the bathroom together and I went back to unpacking. Rose sat on the bed, sorting out my clothes as I pulled out an old metal box and placed it next to her. She peered at it before giving me a quizzical look.

"My mother gave it to me before we left. It has some old memories inside of it", I explained.

She jumped up immediately, grabbing it with a pleading in her eyes as she waited for my approval to open it. I nodded rolling my eyes slightly while a smile crept over my face.

"I want baby pictures", she shrieked making me laugh.

I sat on the bed next to her and started going through the contents of the box, pictures, tickets from theaters and trains, million little pieces of my life. She kept asking me to explain what each piece means to me, who the people that were a part of those memories were and countless other questions. After a while she dug up an envelope and turned it around in her hand asking: "What's this?"

I froze as I realized what she was holding, my mood instantly shifting. I stopped feeling the warmth that was filling me up while I reminisced about the good memories of my life. It got replaced by a gut-wrenching feeling and sorrow as I pointed towards the envelope and whispered: "Open it."

She obliged, probably more than curious to see what was hidden inside, while I braced myself, knowing that the letter she pulled out of it, the letter that was crumpled and torn from the countless times I've read it, held a memory that was once one of my favorite, but now was a bitter and painful reminder of a dark time I had to live through. Still I couldn't help but to feel a need of a sort, a small desire to gaze upon those words at least one more time. Rose carefully unfolded it and started reading out loud.

 _Dear Mitya,_

 _I wish you were here! It's usually something people say in the end of their letters, but I just had to say it straight away. I heard these words being spoken a million times before, but I never quite understood them. I do now!_

 _Paris is beautiful, so charming with the twinkling snow everywhere. I'm sitting in a café right now, eating a croissant and drinking the most wonderful cappuccino in the history of cappuccinos, and you know how much I liked the one in Italy, but I can still feel that something is missing. It's you. I miss you with every fiber of my being._

 _Yesterday, I spent hours visiting countless monuments and every museum I could find and in all that beauty, all I could think of was what would you do or say if you were with me? And with that, I came to the conclusion that you really have become the most important person in my life. You've ruined me Dimitri Belikov, in a good sense, or at least I think it's good, since now I can't imagine ever doing anything worth doing without you by my side._ _That is why I came to a decision to cut my trip short and come to visit you in Baia. If this was a conversation you would probably say something like "compared to Paris this place is boring", but you'd be lying! I know there is no place like home to you and frankly there is no home to me without you. Besides, the last time I came there I had such a wonderful time, every other trip I took pales in comparison with it. I got you to thank for that._

 _I have to admit my father wasn't really happy about my decision, but he allowed it. I used my puppy eyes on him with the slice of "it would make your little girl really happy daddy" on the side. I'm mean, I know, and I feel terrible about it, but it's the price I have to pay from time to time in order to get my way, since you know how difficult my father can get. It's so obvious that I'm a single child though. And now I've made you laugh, haven't I? Don't deny it, I know you too well._

 _Anyhow, I guess that by the time this letter reaches you I'll probably already be on your doorstep and we'll be reading it together laughing at how much I suck at writing letters._ _As you can see though, I have fulfilled my promise and I wrote you a stupid letter like you asked. And I still don't get your obsession with everything old-school and pre telecommunication so it seems._

 _Also, in case this letter somehow reaches you before I do, I wanted you to know that I have a huge surprise for you and I can't wait for you to see it. With that, I leave you to dwell upon what this mysterious gift might be and count the days until we see each other again._

 _С любовью,_

 _Твоя маленькая принцесса_

There was a pause after Rose read the last line when the world seemed to be standing still. Neither of us moved or said anything until she finally folded the letter, carefully placing it back where it belongs and looked up at me.

"What does this last thing mean?", she asked, her voice a bit strained.

"With love, your little princess", I answered, briefly looking away as I fought against the tears that actually gathered up in my eyes.

"Who is it from?"

"An old friend", I mumbled, my voice cracking slightly in the end.

I cleared my throat as she chuckled softly: "A friend, ha?"

I knew she was attempting to set me at ease. She knew me well, which is why I knew she noticed how emotional I was, but when I turned to look at her again, her smile disappeared quickly as she reached for my hand and whispered: "What happened to her?"

"She was killed", I explained shortly, inhaling deeply and straightening up, determined to shake out off the feeling that took over my mind.

"Was she important to you?", Rose prompted, though I was certain she already knew my answer.

"Very."

"Is she in any of these pictures?"

"No. I burned everything that I had of hers except for this letter", I admitted and quickly added, "I'd rather not talk about it anymore. It happened a while ago and it's a bitter memory, one I don't like being reminded of."

"I'm sorry", she was fast to apologize as she started to move her hand away.

She probably thought she crossed the line and she most definitely felt bad about upsetting me, but that's not what I wanted. It was important to me to share with her the thing in my present and past, good and bad. I wanted her to feel free to ask and tell me anything, so I quickly placed my hand over hers to keep it where it was and breathed out: "It's alright Roza, you didn't know. I never mentioned it before. It's a normal thing that you are curious about my past and I'll tell you about her one day, but not today, okay?"

"Sure", she whispered, gently looking up at my eyes in a loving manner.

I smiled at her with a best smile I could muster before I suggested: "I'm hungry. We could go pick Lissa up, take her to her office and then go get breakfast. Christian is staying home all day to study so I got some free time on my hands."

Roza immediately lightened up at the idea of the two of us having breakfast alone so she was ready to go in a heartbeat. She was also more than happy to change the subject which became clear when she started babbling: "We'll have to stick around for a little while when we take her there. She wanted to show me some project she's been working on, you know the one for the academies. She is really excited to try out this retesting program. We might be able to find more Spirit Users like that."

"Sure, I would love to hear about that too."

"Good, then get dressed Comrade, cause you might be hungry, but I'm starving."

"Of course you are", I chuckled placing a kiss on her forehead as I passed her by.

 **POV: Emilia**

I was combing my hair, looking out the window into the night, lost in my thoughts when a knock on the door made me jump. I put the brush down gently before yelling: "It's open!"

I braced myself for an uncomfortable chat with my visitor, whoever they might be, since that seemed to be my thing lately. I almost wondered if I lost my people skills along with the red-ringed eyes or was I just now noticing how awkward I can actually be. The door swung open to allow Adrian to burst into the room with a wide grin on his face.

"Okay Lazar get ready for-", his voice trailed off when he glanced up at me, a look of surprise crossing his face as he stated, "You changed your hair."

"I couldn't sleep", I said plainly, like it was something completely natural and connected. I wasn't lying tough. I really couldn't sleep, because every time I closed my eyes I could see them, all of the faces of the people I murdered. It was haunting and it's been happening every single night. I gave up on trying to get some good night's rest eventually, so last night I finally decided to at least attempt to do something constructive with my time. I already bought the material I needed a day before and had it delivered to my room, so I sat down and dyed my hair black, the color my natural hair was before and washed it, letting it dry so it was straight instead of curling it like I usually did for the past five years. It was a noticeable change.

"You know, you are one strange person, and coming from me that's alarming", he exclaimed smiling.

"So what did you want me to get ready for?", I asked swiftly changing the topic.

"Civilization", he announced proudly like he just invented the word.

"What?", I blurted out in panic.

"It's time for you to get out of this boring, ugly, old room."

"I like this room", I mumbled glancing around.

I did like it. It felt safe. It's already been a week since I moved here. Throughout that week I have never set a foot outside. I had everything delivered in, clothes, a laptop, food and pretty much everything else. I couldn't even bring myself to go to the feeders, only, not because I didn't want to go out, but because I couldn't bring myself to feed from someone at all. I was scared to do it, since I've been killing my "food" for five years. That's why I specifically asked for blood bags that were delivered to my room as well.

"Well I don't", he pointed out slightly pouting.

"Well you don't have to be here then."

"I don't", he drawled approaching me, "But I want to hang out with you and you are here sooo do you see where I'm going with this?"

I did and I also got momentarily distracted my how close he was. Since I have turned back, people tended to avoid being near me, probably because they were still scared I might lose it and kill them. Not Adrian. He still wasn't afraid of me in a slightest and, aside from the people that delivered my stuff, he was the only person visiting me on almost daily bases. His emerald eyes studied me, waiting for a response. Since the moment I meet him his been very honest with me, so I decided to return the favor and tell him the real reason I was avoiding the outside world: "I'm afraid of going out."

"Why? What's there to be afraid of? You are perfectly safe", he said missing my point.

"Not being safe is not what I'm afraid of. It's the people, I, well, if I see someone I know, I don't know how to-", I stopped hoping he understood what I meant.

He did. He placed his hand on my shoulder, his face softening up as he almost whispered: "You will have to face reality eventually, the sooner the better. Plus you won't be alone, so if you want to run or hide I'll be right there next to you."

As much as I didn't want to admit it, he was right. I had to leave the safety of these four walls eventually and it would certainly be much easier if I had someone by my side. That's why, after a quick sigh, I surrendered and muttered: "Fine, give me ten minutes."

"Just ten minutes? I thought it took hours for Royal women to be satisfied with their looks", he teased, his face brightening up.

"Well I guess I'm not like other women or Royals then."

"You are definitely not", he mumbled, giving me a strange look. I only caught a glimpse of it before he turned around and I couldn't quite place it. I've been having trouble recognizing certain feelings, the ones I didn't pay much attention to when I was a Strigoi, but I had a feeling that, even without that disadvantage, I still wouldn't be able to crack open the mystery of Adrian Ivashkov.

He waited for me outside as I quickly put on a pair of jeans, a blouse and flat shoes. They were all brand new since my old clothes were scattered across America, Russia and God knows where else. My hair was loose, falling across my back and the only makeup I bothered to put on was a touch of blush and pinkish lipstick. When I walked out I found him leaning against a wall, studying a painting hanging in the hallway.

"If they insisted on decorating these buildings with paintings, they could have at least picked better ones."

"Why, what's wrong with these?"

"Not much work was put into them."

"How would you know?"

"Well I happen to know a bit about art", he chuckled, turning his gaze to me, "And you are an excellent piece."

I blushed fiercely. He gave out compliments like they were nothing, but it still felt good to hear them. Honestly, I could use a confidence boost anyway.

"Right back at you. Shall we?"

He gestured down the hallway: "Ladies first."

Walking out of the building I felt a soft breeze tickling my skin. Surprisingly it felt good to be outside.

"Where are we going?", I asked turning towards Adrian.

"Wherever the road takes us."

With that we set out for a long stroll around the Court while talking about random things. It was nice. Adrian somehow managed to distract me from everything that kept me up at night, all my worries and fears. Some people passing us by would stare at me, but every time that happened, Adrian would put his hand on my back and stir me in the other direction.

I lost track of time and space until I noticed something extremely familiar about our surroundings. It was the little things, like trees and the cracks in the pavement, but suddenly I realized exactly where we were which made me come to a stop and look up. And there it was. My old house. It didn't change much, except that now it looked older and unkempt. It was dark and I'm guessing it was dusty and filthy too. I knew for a fact that no one has been in that house for a long time. Adrian stopped too noticing that I was no longer walking beside him. He followed my gaze and realization hit him instantly.

"Are you okay?", he asked, walking back to where I was standing.

"Fine", I answered quietly, "It's just, well, it's been a long time since I've been here."

"Do you want to go in?"

I thought about it for a second, but then decided against it since I could already feel the now familiar rush of panic.

"No, I don't want to get dirty", I mumbled, trying to be nonchalant about it.

He accepted my lame excuse and taking my hand he pulled me the other way while prompting: "I'm starving anyway. Let's go grab a bite."

I didn't really like the idea since any restaurant would be filled with people in this time of the day, increasing my chances of running into someone, but it beats going into my house. I let him lead me away hopping he would pick, a less crowded one. He didn't. He picked the biggest, most popular one in the middle of the Court, the place most of the inhabitants here went to. Chances were I could run into anyone, Royal or average Moroi and Dhampir, I knew.

He held the door open for me and I unsteadily entered. As predicted almost every table was full. Waiters and waitresses were running around with plates full of food. Everything was just too loud and overwhelming. He gently gave me a push so I would start walking and we somehow managed to get to the counter. He asked for a table for two and the hostess nodded politely smiling as she led us towards our table.

And that's when I saw _him_. His brown hair was pulled into a ponytail, his dark eyes shining, his lips set in a smile. He was waking side by side with a girl I've met a week ago, Rose, engulfed into whatever she was talking about. Seeing him made me stop in my tracks so sudden Adrian stumble into me, the impact making him lose his balance enough to slam into a girl carrying a tray full of food. The loud noise caused by the dishes hitting the tiles made everyone's head turn, including his and as soon as his eyes met mine his smile disappeared. For a second that seemed like an eternity to me, he just stood there across the room staring at me and then he started moving. Rose turned around confused by his sudden departure and called after him. He didn't notice, he just kept going until he reached me, stopping only a few steps away from me. I was frozen, I couldn't talk or move, I just couldn't grasp the fact that after so long he was finally in front of me.

The girl whose tray ended up on the floor was screaming at Adrian as he kept apologizing to her. Rose managed to catch up and coming to a stop she breathed out: "Dimitri, where the hell did you-?"

"Eka", he whispered almost like a prayer never taking his eyes off of me.

I was still silent. Adrian turned back to me. He gently touched my hand before wrapping his fingers around my wrist and tugging me lightly, asking me if I was okay. _I wasn't_. I felt tears gathering in my eyes and my breath getting caught half way up my airways. I opened my mouth and managed to push out just one word before I began crying: "Mitya."

* * *

 **Chapter song: Stranger - X Ambassadors**


	8. CH8 - Nightmares in Reality

**POV: Adrian**

Her tears shocked me almost as much as everything that led to them. I was still trying to make sense of what happened when I looked up and saw Dimitri and Rose standing in front of us. The look on Rose's face mirrored my confusion and the expression Dimitri wore was a mix of pain, sadness, anger, surprise, longing and shock, it was the kind of look I've never seen on him. Before I could react to anything he moved, grabbing Emilia and practically ripping her out of my hold. His hands went around her, pulling her to him, allowing her to rest against his chest. He lowered his head down, burying it in her hair, whispering something in Russian in a soothing tone, but only making her sob even louder. He eventually gave up and putting his hand under her chin he pulled her head up.

"Emilia, Eka please look at me. Don't cry милая, please don't cry", he whispered to her gently, his voice dripping despair.

She kept her eyes closed, refusing to meet his. So he spoke again, but this time with more fierceness: "Eka, please look at me!"

Finally, she slowly opened her eyes, amethyst crystals meeting his gaze, swallowing her tears down as she murmured: "I waited for you, I waited for so long."

"I know малышка, I know", he said stroking her hair.

"It wasn't my fault, they did it, they made me", she almost screamed, tears rolling down her cheeks fiercely.

"It doesn't matter, it's over now", Dimitri whispered, carefully wiping her cheeks with his fingers.

All of a sudden Rose spoke up, reminding me of her presence, reminding me of mine too. Her words were like a cold shower, snapping me out of my trance. It felt like I have just been a part of someone's dream, like I was sneaking into someone's most private moment, like I wasn't supposed to be here.

"We should get out of here", she said to no one in particular, still looking at the scene in front of us dazed, but slowly recovering from the shock.

At first I thought I was the only one that heard her, but then Dimitri slowly shifted so that he could manage to wrap a hand around Emilia's waist. He supported her weight and stirred her out of the room. It seemed like a good idea, since she looked like she would faint any moment now.

We walked out of the restaurant and into the night. The light breeze turned into a strong, cold wind making me shiver. I zipped up my jacket and tried to catch up to Dimitri and Emilia. Rose did the same. Dimitri reached a bench and he gently placed Emilia on it, sitting next to her. She sniffed, wiping her face with the back of her hand.

"Eka, how-?, he asked.

"Ksyusha, she brought me back", she answered in a shaky voice.

It took me a moment to realize she was talking about Oksana, who was, for more than two weeks now, persistently avoiding "the big talk" about the night Emilia was turned back. Guess now we know why. It wasn't her story to tell.

"Why wasn't I told about this?", Dimitri glared at Rose angrily. I think that was the first time I saw him look at her like that. He usually had a puppy-eye totally in love with her look.

"I didn't know it mattered", she answered, crossing her arms on her chest defensively, "I had no idea you two knew each other."

"Even if we didn't, you should have told me."

"Mitya", Emma murmured like she was warning him to stand down.

"How _do_ you know each other?", I asked as I finally regained my ability to speak.

"We went to school together. We were, friends", Emilia answered peering up at me as a small, barely visible blush spread over her cheeks. _Friends my ass_.

Rose obviously thought the same since the next thing out of her mouth was: "How come you never mentioned her?"

It was crystal clear that she was slightly jealous over the thought of Dimitri being with anyone but her. Also, there was a bit of strangeness to her words, as if she was trying to underline something, but it wasn't really clear what she was aiming at. Or at least it wasn't clear to me. Dimitri on the other hand made a gloomy expression, fixing his eyes on Rose as he stated: "It was a painful subject."

She blinked a few times, her jaw almost touching the ground as she gasped. She looked back and forth between Dimitri and Emilia before finally muttering: "The letter girl. I though you said she-."

Rose didn't finish, she didn't have to. I realized now I was obviously the only one around here missing something, but I also knew one thing for sure. They used to be in love. Big time. And whatever happened, it must have ended when Emilia became a Strigoi. Emilia looked at Dimitri tears gathering in her eyes again, but she stayed silent. Boy this was some heavy stuff.

"When did you-?", Dimitri mumbled.

"Two weeks ago, while you and Rose were on that trip", I answered since Emilia didn't seem capable of speaking any longer and when she started shaking, probably because of the cold wind or overwhelming emotions or both, I suggest, "What do you say we go someplace else? I'm sure you two have some catching up to do and it's getting freaking freezing."

"No", Emilia suddenly cried out, jerking like somebody stabbed her, "I want to go home."

"Eka", Dimitri pleaded before she stood up, taking a few steps toward me like she was trying to put some distance between Dimitri and herself as she blurted out: "We'll talk tomorrow. I have to go. Adrian?"

"Eka, wait", Dimitri stood up as well, reaching for her automatically.

"No!", she yelled, followed by something in Russian I couldn't even begin to understand. I looked at Rose for clues, but she was as lost as me apparently. He backed away, a hurt look in his eyes, but he said nothing else. Emilia turned around and started walking. I stood there for a second pondering on what I ought to do, but eventually I unsteadily waved at Dimitri and Rose and hurried along the road to catch up to her.

"Are you-?"

She sharply nodded before I could even finish, which made it even more obvious that she was everything but alright. I didn't want to push her so I kept my mouth shut for the rest of the way, up until we reached her building.

"Thank you for-", she started as she slowly turned towards me.

"I didn't know", I interrupted her, "I mean, I knew Oksana turned you back for some reason, but she didn't tell me why. I had no idea you knew any of them."

For some reason I felt guilty over what just happened, perhaps because I'm the one who forced her to go outside in the first place and I just couldn't shake this feeling of sadness that filled my heart when I saw her tears.

"I know. It's okay", she whispered, her lips twitching into a small smile for only a second.

"I'm sorry", I apologized, because it seemed like the right thing to do.

"Don't be, none of this is your fault", she said, but she sounded like she was already miles away, lost in her thoughts, a haunted look in her eyes. She was fast to recover from the trance, snapping out of whatever world she was in as she added, "I should get to bed. I'm tired. Like I said, I didn't really get much sleep last night."

"Are you going to be okay on your own? I can stick around if you want, I don't have any plans", I offered, reluctant to leave her in this state. She smiled at my words. It was a bitter smile.

"Goodnight Adrian", was all she said as she opening the door to her building.

"Goodnight", I managed to but in before the door slammed shut behind her.

 _Well that turned out great! Good job genius!_

 **POV: Emilia**

Finally, I was having a good dream. Well, to be honest it wasn't exactly good, it was a bittersweet memory, but it was still way better than screaming victims, blood and gashes on people's throats.

 _It was a beautiful summertime night, or was it day? That was still confusing. I had no idea why people kept saying day when the sun was down. I twirled around the living room dazzled by the beautiful mix of colors on my new puffy and flowery dress. When I got too dizzy I ran up to dad who was sitting in his study, a stack of papers sprawled over the table in front of him and a frowny look on his face as he leaned in to read them. I giggled loudly ducking down to slip under the table and climb up into his lap._

 _"Hey there munchkin, what are you doing?", he chuckled, patting my hair gently._

 _"I'm spinning", I exclaimed, earning a smile from him as he nodded like he's been meaning to say "I can see that", but I didn't allow him to speak since I instantly added, "Daddy can I go play with Avery?"_

 _"Did you clean your room?"_

 _"I did."_

 _"Go then. But Emma, stay in the yard honey."_

 _I smiled, nodded and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before I jumped out of his lap and ran outside, carefully descending down the stairs into the night. Avery was with her nanny on the blanket in the middle of the yard, trying to stand up on her wobbly feet. She was only one year old and she has just learned how to walk. I reached them and sat down letting my dress fall around me in a circle._

 _"Hi, Ava!", I whispered, taking her little hand in mine._

 _"Say hi Avery", Laura softly whispered to Ava._

 _Laura was pretty. She hand a long, curly, golden hair, her eyes were ember and they were always shining. She had a beautiful smile too._

 _"Em-ma", Ava said, smiling at me as I pulled her in my lap and started braiding her hair, while she played with the edges of my dress, sitting surprisingly still._

 _"I will not accept it!", I heard someone yelling behind me, "Thomas, they are destroying our business."_

 _Turning my head around, I saw uncle Eugen on the porch and my father behind him, a worried look on his face as he stressed: "Eugen, what am I supposed to do? I can't force them to take this deal."_

 _"Then go there and take care of it!"_

 _"I can't! I can't just leave Emma alone!"_

 _"Well figure it out", he ordered, turning around as he walked towards us and shouted, "Laura, take Avery we are leaving!"_

 _"Da-da", Ava announced pointing towards her father while looking at me, like she was asking for an explanation for his shouting. I didn't have one. Laura took Ava gently out of my arms and stood up, collecting her things quickly before running after Eugen who was already at the gate._

 _"Bye Ava", I yelled while she peered at me and waived with her little hand._

 _"Daddy, why is uncle Eugen mad?", I asked as my father approached me._

 _"Because you killed me", he answered looking at me coldly. Wait, what?_

 _"You remember it, don't you? How I screamed, how I begged? You didn't care, did you?", he continued, his expression morphing into rage. No, no Daddy, I would never hurt you. I wanted to tell him that, but then I saw it, blood dripping down his neck. And then he started screaming._

I cried out, jerking out of sleep and tumbling off the bed as I rushed towards the bathroom. I threw up, heavily. Flushing the toilet I turned around to wash my hands and face, before I looked up into the mirror. My hair was damp and messy, there were dark circles underneath my eyes, I looked horrible. I splashed my hand over the reflection not being able to stand it.

I wondered through the apartment, changing my clothes, combing my hair and putting on make to cover up the lack of sleep visible on my face. Afterwards, I walked to the window, pulling the curtain off it and opening it up to allow in the rays of the setting sun that sprayed the sky in shades of purple and red. I set on the edge, leaning my back against the frame, waiting for the last rays to disappear. When they did, I climbed off, grabbed my keys and went out. I stopped the first person I saw on the street, a guardian, about ten years older than me. He looked like he was going home after a long shift.

"I'm sorry, can you please point me to the Ivashkov household?"

"Which one?", he asked smirking.

"Adrian Ivashkov."

He gave me the instructions and I thanked him before I half ran down the road. I reached the house he described at the edge of the Court grounds, a small one with walls built in a typical posh Court style, but with a yellow fence and red roof. It looked funny, kind of artistic and totally out of place, so painstakingly standing out from all of the houses inside the Court grounds. It was, well, kind of like Adrian in that matter. I walked up to the front door and rang the bell. I waited, but when nobody opened I rang again. I was about to give up when I heard footsteps and the door swung open.

It was obvious that I woke him up. His hair was a lot messier than usual, he wore a white wrinkled t-shirt and black pajama bottoms. His face was still sleepy and he yawned: "Emma? Wha-?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you, I was just-."

"Come in", he cut in, moving aside to let me pass.

I smiled at him gratefully and took his offer. I wasn't surprised to see the inside of the house was drastically different than any other house around here, too. It was very modern. The living room had a big black couch, two matching armchairs, a large coffee table made out of glass and a brand new TV hanging on the wall above the only thing that seemed old - a fireplace. There were a lot of other things in the room like shelves filled with books, pictures, stacks of CD's, what seemed to be a record player stuck underneath on of the shelves and two easels.

"You paint?", I asked pointing at the easels.

"I try", he chuckled, "Coffee?"

"Sure."

He walked across the room and disappeared through the door that probably led to a kitchen I stayed exactly where I was, uncertain what to do next. It was safe to say I didn't really think this through. He came back after a while with two cups in his hands. He gave me and entertained look before he chuckled: "You can sit, the couch doesn't bite."

I smiled and sat down taking the cup he offered me as I breathed out: "I really am sorry I woke you up."

"Don't worry about it. I had bad dreams anyway. The real question is why are _you_ up this early?"

I took a sip of my coffee, buying time before answering: "Well I had bad dreams too. So I woke up and started thinking and, well, I wanted to do something and I thought, I thought you could help me."

"I'm at your service, what can I help you with Lady Lazar?", he cheerfully exclaimed.

It was strange, the way he acted around me, like we've known each other for years, like I was his best friend. From the moment I met him, his been nothing but kind and helpful and I wondered why. Was it just the way he is, did he want something from me, did he pity me? Before I managed to stop myself, words came flying out of my mouth: "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why would you help me?"

"Because you asked me to", he answered plainly.

"But why?", I kept pushing.

He breathed out and shifted in the armchair so that he would be closer to me. He took my cup, placing it with his on the table. Looking into my eyes he reached for my hands and spoke the words that actually had me wondering if he could maybe read minds for real: "Look, I know you are thinking that I have an ulterior motive or that I pity you or something, but I don't. The truth is, I went through something that left me filled with hatred, anger and selfishness. But then after, well, this one thing happened to me or rather to a person important to me and I guess you could say it made we want to change."

"I'm confused, are you talking about me or you?", I teased him trying to dial down the tension.

He gave me a small smile, but continued talking with a serious look in his eyes: "So after all of that, you came here and I don't know, I just really wanted to do something good and I really felt like I should help you. I don't know if that makes sense but-."

"It makes perfect sense."

He smiled again. I smiled back. We understood one another perfectly.

"Okay then, what did you want my help with?", he asked leaning away.

"I want to go to my old house and I would like it if you'd come with me."

"Give me ten minutes", he stated getting up.

"Just ten minutes? I thought it took hours for Royal men to be satisfied with their look", I teased, repeating his comment from the day before.

"Well I guess I'm not like other men or Royals", he responded, winking and heading towards the stairs.

"You're certainly not", I mumbled to myself smiling.

Twenty minutes later we walked up to the wrought iron fence embellished by flower and leaf ornaments, stopping before the gate that was surrounded by two brick pillars with tacky marble globes on top of them. A few deep breaths and I pushed it open stepping into the garden that once was marvelous and lively, but was now simply dead. I remember how the dark green lawn used to be cut perfectly to a millimeter, but now that green was grey and dry and the flowers and bushes of roses that used to be everywhere have withered. Adrian was right behind me as we walked up the path of flat stones and climbed on to the porch. The swing was still there in the corner and I could bet on my life that it would make the same squeaking sound if I tried moving it.

As I turned to the front door Adrian spoke up: "Do you have a key?"

"No, but I will in a second", I said, moving towards the window next to the door, where a small black rock was placed, just in the corner of it.

As I pushed it aside and fetched out the key hidden behind it Adrian laughed: "How did you know that would be there?"

"Because I left it there when my father and I were moving to Russia. I didn't want to go so I made plan to run away and come back here as soon as possible."

"But you didn't."

"But I didn't", I confirmed, pushing the key into the lock.

I walked inside, taking in every detail and it was just like I remembered it: the high ceiling with tiny lights sprawled over it, the lights I thought were our own personal stars when I was little, the double wooden staircase with a long and thick railing engraved with roses, the one I used to slide down from when no one was looking, a beautiful mirror hanging on the wall between the stairs set in iron with a matching pattern to the railing and two round beige armchairs surrounding it, the large fluffy red carper covering most of the floor.

Glancing at Adrian I realized he was watching me, but with an unfocused look, somewhere above my head. I cleared my throat and asked: "Are you checking my aura? Afraid I might go mental on you?"

"Yes and no", he responded, his gaze falling to meet mine, "I am watching your aura, but I don't think you are going to lose it just yet."

"Looks can be deceiving. You and I both know mood swings are very common when it comes to a Spirit user."

"Mood swings sure, but I think your chances of going crazy are slim at the moment."

"Hold on to that thought", I warned, moving towards the stairs and taking a couple of steps before I added, "Are you coming?"

He followed me up into the first room on the right - my room. Opposite from the door was a four-poster queen size bed still covered with purple sheets, the shelves filled with books and picture frames on the right and the makeup vanity table next to it. They too were all covered with dust like everything else. Half of my old wardrobe was still hanging in the walk-in closet to my left and next to it the door leading to the bare bathroom was left wide open. As I strolled over to the window, opening it to let the air in, I pondered on how I used to take all within these walls for granted and how easily I've lost it. I placed my hand on the wooden sill underneath, tracing my fingers down the three letters carved into its left corner. _E.T.L._ Adrian joined me giving me a questioning look.

"Emilia Thomas Lazar", I said looking at the letters, "It's not my real full name, but in some cultures, such as Russian, the middle name is actually the name of your father. My father was born in Russia so I found it fitting."

"You and your father had a good relationship?"

"The best. I loved him very much and after my mother's death, I was everything to him."

"Well then you were lucky, my father and I loathe each other."

"Yeah, I was lucky. I was lucky until I killed him", I breathed out with tears filling my eyes.

Adrian reacted fast, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. Despite his good intentions, his act of kindness tipped the scale and all of the emotions that I was trying to keep in check came flying out. Tears started rolling down my cheeks as I turned around and buried my face in his chest. He held me tight, like he was afraid I might fall apart if he didn't, not saying anything, not trying to stop me from crying, he just stood there allowing me to let it all out. I don't know how long it took me to stop. It was when I had no more tears to cry and my whole body felt exhausted. I pulled back to look at Adrian who gave me a small smile and asked: "Better?"

"Much. I'm-."

"Don't even think about apologizing", he cut in guessing my thoughts.

I didn't know what to say next so I opted for something simple: "I've ruined your shirt."

He looked down to the wet stains on his chest made by my tears and makeup before he shrugged: "I hated it anyway."

Few more moments of silence followed before he carefully asked: "So what now?"

"Honestly, I don't know. I just wanted to get through this. I didn't really give much thought as to what I'm going to do afterwards."

"Well while you're at the whole getting through things, maybe you should talk to Oksana or Dimitri. I got the feeling there is some unfinished business there as well."

I sighed, knowing that he was right. It had to be done, the sooner the better, but I wasn't sure how much more I could take. Regardless, I straightened up and asked: "Do you know where either of them is?"

"No, but it won't take me long to find out", he mumbled, fetching a phone out of his pocket and texting someone.

I waited patiently next to him before a thought popped inside my head bringing me to break the silence: "How come you haven't asked me yet?"

"Asked you what?"

"How I became a Strigoi. You can't tell me you didn't wonder."

"Oh, I did wonder", he chuckled, "I wondered a lot, but I figured you'll tell me when you were ready."

"You are one strange person Adrian Ivashkov and coming from me that's alarming", I said, using his own words against him again.

"Yeah, I'm pretty much one of a kind", he laughed as he cast a look at his phone and added, "So Lazar, I guess it's time for you to fess up. We've been waiting for this story for too long."

* * *

 **Chapter song: Nightmares in reality - Culprate ft. Maksim**


	9. CH9 - The Story (Part 1)

**POV: Emilia**

 **10 years ago, September**

The wheels of the plane touching the ground jerked me from my sleep. I slowly opened my eyes and cast a look through the window mumbling: "I thought Russia was supposed to be snowy and cold."

"No darling, not all of it", my dad responded unfastening his seatbelt.

I did the same giving myself more space to stretch as he elaborated, "School starts tomorrow, which is why I will take to the Academy now so that you can get settled in."

"Sure dad, just drop me of at some God forsaken place and go deal with more important things", I retorted.

"Emilia, we already talked about this. This is important, but nothing is more important than you. I've been putting this off for a long time, but the business is getting critically bad now and I need you to understand that. Just please give this a try. It's a good change. You might like going to school."

"I doubt it", I murmured into my chin as we got out of the plane.

Only when I was staring up at the massive metal gates of the place that I was supposed to live in from now on, while my dad's car drew away, did I finally came to grips with the fact that this was actually happening. I sighed, frowning when I was approached by a woman with a smile on her face that seemed pretty fake, but polite enough to pass. She was a Dhampir slightly shorter than me, with an extremely good built, dressed in the standard black outfit guardians wore. Her hair was cut short and it was the color of honey. Her eyes were mesmerizing, light blue with a dark blue rim around the iris and a circle of gold around the pupil.

"Emilia Lazar?", she asked as she reached me.

I nodded, knowing I was being rude for not bothering to speak, but not being able bring myself to care about it. She ignored my bad manners, a smile still lingering as she spoke: "My name is Galina Malikova and I would like to officially welcome you to Saint Basil's. I'm an instructor here, but I've also taken up the responsibility of helping you get settled in, so if you have any kinds of questions or problems just let me know. We've already made your schedule, you have classes first thing in the morning, all the professors were notified of your arrival and they will make sure to aid you while you catch up on the things that you've missed since the beginning of the school year. You don't have to worry about the language, all of the classes here are in English so you'll have no trouble following them."

"And I'll be staying in-?", I asked as I followed her beyond the gates and towards an old looking building up front.

"In a room in the Moroi female dormitory and since your father insisted on you not having any roommates, you'll have the room all to yourself."

"Awesome", I huffed, tugging my suitcase when it got slightly stuck on some whole in the pavement.

"Don't look so down", she said, glancing at me as her smile finally becoming sincere, "I'm sure you'll fit right in.

 _Yeah right,_ I thought, but instead of saying that I just managed a half smile and nodded again. _Welcome to your own personal hell Emilia._

The rest of the way we made small talk, or rather she did and I just let out a sigh here and hum there. Finally, she left me to unpack and reminded me to be on time in the morning. The room I got was not nearly as bad as I thought, spacious and bright, but empty, bare and lonely. I had a sickening feeling that no matter how much of my things filled it up it will never, ever feel like my own, like home. So instead of unpacking I just slumped to the bed in dejection, taking my clothes off and slipping under the covers. It didn't take me long to drift off and I remembered the last thought in my mind as I closed my eyes was: _"I can't believe that this is actually my life now."_

As soon as my eyes opened again panic struck. _Where the hell am I?_ It took me a few minutes to come to my senses and realize that I was in my new room. I guess I was kind of hoping I'll wake up in my bed at home and laugh at the horrible dream I had about moving to Russia. Sadly, that wasn't the case. I lazily rolled over to my side with a groan and cast a look at the watch on my nightstand.

"Shit", I yelled out loud, jumping to my feet.

I grabbed the first clothes I laid my hands on in my bag and stumbled towards the bathroom, washing my teeth and combing my hair in the same time.

"Stupid jetlag, stupid classes, stupid Russia", I mumbled to myself, pulling on a skirt and a sweeter.

I pushed my legs into knee high socks and short boots while flipping through my schedule. Moroi Culture 2 was my first class starting at eight. I looked at my watch again and saw four digits blinking at me. _19:58!_ _I can't believe I'm going to be late on my first day._

I grabbed my bag and ran out of my room, almost tripping over my own feet as I passed through the hallways of the main building. I somehow eventually managed to find the right classroom. _20:10_. _Shit, shit, shit._

I knocked on the door and pushed it open only to find an elderly man standing in front of the class with an irritated look as my sudden entrance cut him midsentence.

"Excuse me", I muttered walking in slowly.

"Miss Lazar, how nice of you to grace us with your presence", he sneered pushing his glasses up his nose.

"I'm sorry, I got lost-."

"Oh you got lost. How unfortunate. Maybe we should get you a map", he continued in a mocking manner making a couple of students giggle, "I don't know what kind of special treatment you are used to Miss Lazar and I don't really care, but being late for classes will not be tolerated around here. The next time this happens I will send you to the headmaster's office. Is that clear?"

I wanted so badly to punch him right in the face, but instead I just pushed myself to answer with: "Yes Sir."

"Good. Now stop wasting everybody's time Lazar and sit down."

I swiftly walked to the first free chair I could find, avoiding eye contact with everyone and sat down. _My God could this get any worse?_ I carefully turned around, realizing I landed myself next to a Dhampir, whose dark eyes were studying me as he made an expression that made it clear he wasn't happy about my sitting choice. _Yep, apparently it can get worse, thanks to me and my big mouth._

"As I was saying before being interrupted, you will work on these projects throughout the semester and you will do so in pairs. So open your books and go through the list of possible themes on page four and pick the one you want to work on with your partner-", the teacher's voice echoed in a background as I gathered enough courage to whisper: "Hi, I'm-."

"Do you have a book?", the Dhampir cut in raising his eyebrow. _Rude much?_

"No I, um, I didn't get my books yet", I stammered.

"Fantastic", he sneered, running his hand through his shoulder length brown hair.

He popped open his book and slid it across the table placing it between us. He fixed his eyes on page four ignoring the fact that I was staring at him as he asked: "Who do you want to write about?"

I glanced down at the book and pointed towards a random thing in the list which made him look up at me questioningly.

"Saint Vladimir?"

"Sure why not", I answered in a confident voice even though I had no idea what all of this was about.

"Do you even know what we are supposed to do?", he asked, apparently seeing right through me.

"No. And you know what, you being rude to me for no reason isn't helping me understand it any better", I retorted, feeling tears built up in my throat. _No Emilia, do not dare cry in front of this guy._

He was silent for a few seconds, just studying me and then he offered me his hand and said: "Dimitri Belikov."

 **9 years ago, March**

"What in the God's name are you doing?", came a shocked voice from bellow me.

I was so surprised by the sudden noise it almost made me lose my balance. I gripped the branch left of me hard trying stay stable.

"Shit, Dimitri, you scared the living crap out of me. Are you insane?"

"Coming from the girl hanging out in the tree", he responded laughing.

"I'm not hanging out in the tree. I'm trying to get down from it."

"Why did you climb on it in the first place?", he asked as his voice grew a bit closer.

"Can you stop asking me questions and help me down?"

Silence. Then I heard feet shuffling through the dry leaves on the ground and the tree started shaking.

"Don't shake it so much, you'll make me fall."

"How else should I climb it?", he retorted, continuing his progress. It took him a couple of minutes before he emerged from the branches in front of me and smiled saying: "Hey."

"Hi", I answered, unable to stop myself from smiling back.

"So do you want to tell me what the hell are you doing in the middle of the night in a tree?", he asked, prompting his arms on the branch that stood between us.

"Well, technically its day since the sun is up and what I'm doing is sneaking out of my room."

"And why are you doing that?"

"Because Ivan is helping me practice magic, so I can declare an element."

"Oh", he responded vaguely, "Well then let's get you down."

He offered me his hand and I took it gratefully stepping over to the branch next to the one he was standing on. We started descending carefully, but when we were halfway down a branch I stepped on broke. I started to slip, but Dimitri pushed me aside, landing my ass on another branch, but losing his balance. Despite his incredible skills, he didn't manage to stay on the tree. The sudden movement sent him flying to the ground.

"Dimitri", I shrieked as I pushed myself down as fast as I could, landing on my feet next to him only to find him sprawled on the ground, coughing as he managed to get air back into his lungs.

"Dimitri, are you okay?", I asked, kneeling above him.

"Fine", he muttered, trying to pull himself up to sit and giving me a grateful glance when I helped him do it.

He flinched, clutching his leg quickly which made me look down to where his hands slid. I barely managed to stifle a scream. There was blood, a lot of blood and I could see a piece of a broken bone surrounded by thorn flesh.

"Oh, God", I cried out in shock.

"It's okay, it isn't as bad as it looks", he said trying to sound convincing, but failing terribly.

"What happened, I heard screams?", came a voice above us.

"Hey Zeklos", Dimitri responded like everything was in perfect order.

"Woah, I'll go get help", was all Ivan managed to say in response upon seeing the blood erupting from Dimitri's leg. He turned around and ran towards the building.

I kept staring at Dimitri's leg and then, before I even knew what was going on, some invisible force pushed my hands down. I felt a strange feeling come over me, energy rippling through my body as I focused on his wound and Dimitri's confused glance made me realized he felt it too. I heard him inhale sharply as I watched the wound disappear under my hands. I meet his eyes awestruck and that's when I fainted.

I woke up in a hospital wing feeling like I just went headfirst through a brick wall. I glanced around the empty room before I attempted to sit up. It was harder than it seemed. I pondered on whether I should actually try to get out of bed when a doctor walked in.

"Ah, it's good to see you awake Miss Lazar. I was already starting to get worried. How are you feeling?", he questioned as he approached me, taking out a flashlight from his pocket.

"Fine", I responded as he motioning me to follow the light with my eyes, "My head hurts a little, but I'm fine."

"The headache was most likely caused by the fall."

"The fall?", I asked frowning.

"From the tree. You do remember falling don't you?", he asked a bit alarmed.

"Um, yes, I-", I began saying as a knock on the door interrupted me.

Dimitri slipped inside, making the doctor laugh as he said: "I see you couldn't wait. You have some very devoted friends Miss Lazar."

Dimitri slowly walked up to us, hunching his shoulders in an obvious attempt to look smaller, since he was probably embarrassed by the amusing glances the doctor gave us as he spoke: "Well, you seem to be okay so I'll leave you to it then, but I will have to ask you to stop by tomorrow for another checkup just to be safe."

"Of course", I mumbled as he turned away, patting Dimitri on the shoulder before exiting the room.

"How are you feeling?", Dimitri asked as soon as we were left alone.

I slid my legs over the edge of the bed, making enough room for him to sit next to me muttering: "Weird. You?"

"Weirder", he said fixing me with his eyes, "You want to tell me what happened? Because I'm clueless and I just lied to a bunch of people since telling them what I actually saw wouldn't have made a lick of sense."

"I don't know", I whispered, earning a raised eyebrow from him, "I really don't, but I can tell you one thing. I don't want anyone to know about it, people are going to think I'm an abomination, a freak of nature."

"I won't tell anyone, but I think you might be exaggerating", Dimitri answered calmly.

"Exaggerating? Did you see your wound?"

"I saw it", he mumbled, "And so did Ivan. It's safe to say his puzzled by my miraculous recovery more than anyone else."

"But you won't tell him the truth?", I asked panicking.

"I already told you, no one will ever know."

"Promise me! No matter what, you will never, ever tell anyone about what I did", I pleaded.

"I promise!"

 **POV: Dimitri**

 **9 years ago, April**

"I promise, I won't laugh at you, just come out", Emilia yelled from the other side of the door.

I reluctantly opened it and stepped out. She tried really hard to keep a straight face, but I knew she would burst into laughter if she didn't promise not to. She attempted to maintain a serious tone as she pointed at me hair and almost squealed out: "How did this happen?"

My hair was probably the most amusing thing she's seen lately. It was shorter then when she left for her trip, oh and also _it was pink!_

"Ivan Zeklos was a drunken idiot, that's how this happened", I answered nervously.

"So tell me, how come you, the person who can be woken up by a fly buzzing two rooms from yours, slept through the entire process of him dyeing your hair in p-?", her voice broke as she tried again desperately to stop herself from laughing.

"Because I was even drunker then he was", I admitted, looking away in embarrassment.

"Okay, I leave you two alone for one weekend and this is what I come back to. Shame, shame, shame", she playfully shouted.

"Fine, fine you can laugh if you want", I surrendered, laughing myself.

"I promised I wouldn't, so I won't", she persisted, "Come on, let's get into the bathroom so we can fix this and consider yourself lucky he didn't get his hands on a permanent dye."

It took hours for the color to wash out, but finally she managed to get my hair back to normal. When she was done I noticed her mood deteriorating, so I waited until she finally fessed up: "I have to tell you something. I did some more research on St. Vladimir and I think, I think he was like me."

"Like you?"

"I think he could do things others couldn't. And that's not all. When I was at my father's place I was cleaning up my room and I knocked over a vase and it was supposed to fall down and crash, but it didn't. I somehow managed to keep it in the air without touching it."

"Like telekinesis?"

"Yeah, maybe, I'm not sure. It happened really fast and once I realized what happened I panicked and my concentration broke and the vase landed on the floor."

"That's interesting", I pointed out.

"It's weird. I'm weird", she cried out burying her head in her hands.

"You are not weird, you're just different", I said pulling her hands away while smiling at her reassuringly.

"You are just saying I'm weird in a nicer way", she protested.

"Eka, I promise you, you are not weird."

"Eka?", she observed curiously looking at me.

I didn't even realize I let that slip out. I blushed slightly and mumbled nervously: "Nickname. You don't like it?"

"No. I like it. It's unique. But know I have to come up with one for you as well", she chuckled.

"Well, my family calls me Dimka, but honestly, I don't like that nickname as much as they think I do", I confessed.

"Okay, how abouttt", she drawled frowning, "Mitka or even better Mitya? It's not unique, but it sounds cool."

"Mitya, I like that."

"Mitya it is then."

 **8 years ago, January**

I pulled my suitcase down the stairs and pushed the door open. It was freezing outside. I walked down the road towards the front gate, looking around and that's when I saw her. She was sitting on a bench, her things neatly piled up next to her. Her gaze was set somewhere on the horizon, her eyes a shade darker than usual. She looked sad, too sad for someone who was about to have a splendid holiday with her father. I slowly approached her and she gazed up at me when she sensed my presence, managing a smile when she asked: "All packed?"

"Yeah, I'm leaving soon. Well as soon as my dear sisters are done packing up. Weren't you supposed to be half way to Moscow by now?"

"I was, but my father canceled. He said he had something very important to do", she mumbled, fixing her eyes on the ground below her feet.

"So you're staying in the academy?", I asked frowning.

"Yeah, but I'm just gonna hang out here for a while, because I'm not really ready to go back there", she said pointing towards the building behind us.

"The hell you are", I exclaimed, bending down so that I can reach the handle of her suitcase and pick it up, "You're coming with me."

"No Mitya, I can't. You are going home to be with your family. I can't just barge in", she argued, jumping to her feet and trying to grab back the suitcase.

"You are not barging in. I'm inviting you", I persisted as I began walking towards the gate with our things, ignoring her futile attempts to stop me, "Trust me, when it comes to my family, the more the merrier."

"But-", she started as she caught up to me.

"No buts! Keep walking Eka."

She continued with the "but this, but that" for two days, until she finally understood she really was more than welcomed in my home. Actually, she was pretty much the center of attention. Everyone was fussing over her and I found it ridiculously adorable that she has suddenly turned into this shy person who kept blushing at every compliment or favor and kept saying thank you to everyone, for everything, all the time.

When Christmas Eve came mama made a feast, like every year, inviting our friends over. Oksana and Mark were almost like family now, so holidays were not the same without them. As they arrived that night everyone hurled to the door to welcome them. Oksana came in first shaking the drops of rain from her coat as she announced: "I hope we are not late. The weather is making the roads terrible."

Mark followed her shaking my hand as he chuckled: "Dimitri, I swear each time I see you, you are bigger and bigger."

"It's called puberty Mark", mama chuckled coming from the kitchen to give them both a hug.

Sonya took their coats as Viktoria ran up to me, grabbing my sleeve and tugging it impatiently as she squealed: "Look Dimka, look how cute they are."

I turned around and saw Eka emerging from the hallway with Paul in her arms. He was playing with her hair mumbling about something in Russian. I smiled at the concentrated look on her face as she tried so hard to understand the rambling of a two year-old in a foreign language. Karolina ran up to her as soon as she saw her blurting out: "I'm so sorry Emilia, he can be so difficult sometimes."

"Don't worry about it. I think we are getting along just fine", she reassured her smiling.

"And who might this be?", Mark asked looking at Eka.

"That's Emilia Lazar. She is Dimka's friend from school", my mother answered.

"Pretty girl, are you sure she is just a friend?", Mark joked lowering his voice and winking at me.

"She is just a friend", I answered firmly, but I felt a bit uneasy.

I constantly kept thinking someone might notice that I don't look at her in the way I would look at someone who was just my friend. I couldn't allow myself to show it, it would be wrong. She wasn't interested in me in that way, I'm sure of it. How could she be? She was a Royal. I on the other hand was just an unimportant Dhampir, just one more disposable future guardian.

"Alright, let's get seated", Yeva ordered putting the last dish on the table behind us and we all hurried towards it knowing better than to disobey her.

Eka, still holding Paul in her arms, sat between me and Oksana and as she did Oksana leaned towards me whispering: "I think he likes her."

 _He is not the only one_ , my mind screamed at me.

"Well he's done liking her, because he needs to eat and so does she", Karolina said taking Paul out of Eka's arms despite his protests.

After a long diner, while everyone was saying their goodbyes to Mark and Oksana who were preparing to leave, Oksana walked up to Emilia and leaned in like she was about to kiss her on the cheek before whispering something into her ear. When she stepped back, I was graced with a glimpse at Emilia's expression. She was stunned and Oksana just smiled, walking away as I stood up, dusting off from the fireplace I was managing while jerking my head to the side to wordlessly call Eka over.

"Come on Viktoria it's time for bed", Karolina declared, earning an angry look from her sister as Eka slipped next to me.

"Do you want to take a walk?", I asked silently and she nodded, her eyes still showing excitement over whatever Oksana said to her.

I picked up her coat and held it out for her. She pulled it on as my mother turned around and asked: "You two are going out?"

"We won't be long" I answered.

"Alright, just dress well, it's cold outside."

As soon as we were far enough from the house I spoke up: "What did Oksana say to you?"

"You noticed that? Of course you did. You notice everything", she exclaimed, pausing for second before adding, "She told me I'm not alone."

"What does that mean?"

"I think she is like me. You know, when it comes to magic."

"So she is a weirdo too?", I joked.

Eka exploded, laughing so hard she ended up bending over, putting her hand on the tree nearby to keep her balance. I laughed with her and as she straightened up, the wind that was blowing pushed her hair into her face so I reflexively reached out to gently brush it away. Her violet eyes were glowing in the dark. Her lips were still spread in a smile and I focused on them until I noticed they started to fall. I looked up and saw her watching me intensely. She knew what I was about to do, I saw it in her eyes. I thought she might push me away, scream at me, smack me or run away, but whichever she chose, I knew I wasn't going to be able to stop myself from doing this.

"Mitya, I-", she began saying, but I cut her off by landing my lips on hers.

* * *

 **Chapter song: The Story - 30 seconds to Mars**

 **A little explanation: The promise Dimitri made was obviously kept since he didn't say anything about the Spirit to anyone, even when Rose and Lissa were trying to discover everything they could about it. The reason he was very understanding when it came to Lissa's and Adrian's struggles to cope with the Spirit is because he already witnessed that struggle before. We all know he is very honorable so he wouldn't have broken his promise no matter what! So that's how I fit this part in with the original story.**

 **One more thing, since I couldn't find Galina's surname anywhere (I think it wasn't mentioned in the books) I made it up, along with her looks, because I went back and forth through the parts of the book where she was mentioned, but her only description of her was that she was beautiful.**


	10. CH10 - The Story (Part 2)

**POV: Emilia**

 **8 years ago, January**

"Mitya, I-", I began saying before he crashed his lips with mine.

They were soft and warm, a complete contrast to the cold and harsh wind blowing around us. He gently placed one of his hands behind my neck tangling his fingers into my hair and his other hand traveled around my waist pulling me closer.

I froze at first not knowing what to do, not because I didn't want this, I've actually wanted it for a long time, but because I thought he might change his mind. I thought he couldn't possible want me in this way, but I was apparently wrong. He was obviously even better in hiding his feelings than I was.

Finally, I parted my lips and placed my palms on his cheeks kissing him back. He let out a small gasp, like my reaction surprised him, but it also encouraged him since our gentle and slow kiss turned into something fierce and hungry. He pushed me back against the tree gripped me more tightly, sending shivers of pleasure down my spine. I grabbed his arm for support and gripped his neck pulling him down to deepen the kiss.

At some point he lifted me up into his arms, still keeping me pressed against the trunk of the tree and I instinctively let my hands wrap around his neck and my legs around his waist. He lowered his kisses to my neck and I let my head fall back almost moaning upon the fiery touch of his lips against my artery.

My head swam as we kissed and I found myself grabbing his chin, pulling his head up so he would meet my eyes. I don't know where I got the courage, but the next thing I knew was that I opened my mouth and demanded: "Take me home!"

He did. He took me to his room, to his bed and he didn't let go of me until the morning. His lips ravaged mine and he explored every inch of my body. I returned the favor, but we were both more than careful not to cross any lines. We didn't want to take things too fast, so we settled for kissing each other into oblivion.

I feel asleep in his arms and when I woke up he was gone. I panicked straightening up in the bed and looking around the empty room. My heart felt like it might break and I shook my head burying it in my hands. _Stupid, idiot, stupid._

The sound of the door opening made me look up. Dimitri snuck in balancing a tray in one hand as he slowly and quietly shut the door with the other. He turned to me and my face pulled into the widest grin I ever had. He smiled back his eyes glowing as he walked up to me and kneeled on the bed handing me the tray.

"Breakfast in bed? We'll now I feel like Royalty", I whispered looking at the contents of the tray before focusing back on him and barely restraining myself from jumping on him and suffocate him with kisses and hugs.

I was so glad he was here. It proved he really meant everything he said and did last night, he really wanted me. Neither of us spoke about it though as he wiggled back under the covers pulling his hoodie off and throwing it away as he pointed out: "You are Royalty."

"Well yeah, but you are missing the point", I chuckled snuggling up to him as he rested his head on the bedpost beside me.

"Okay so you are моя маленькая принцесса then."

I giggled feeling my heart jump up in my chest as I whispered: "I like that Mitya, I really do."

"Being a princess?"

"Being yours."

His smile became so warm it lit up the room. He didn't have to say it in order for me to know he liked it too. He was always shy about showing emotions so he was quick to change the subject after our little exchange.

"Did you sleep well?"

"I've never slept better in my life."

"Good", he stressed before casting a look towards our suitcases that were almost packed back up.

I followed my gaze and exhaled deeply in dissatisfaction mumbling: "Do we have to go back?"

His sad expression was the only answer I needed. I put the tray on the nightstand next to me and pushed his arm up so I could slide even closer resting my head on his chest. He circled his arms around me gently as I breathed out: "I like it here, in this bed, this house, with you and this amazing family of yours. It's like a dream, a beautiful one, one I don't want to end."

"It won't end", he reassured me, "We'll just have to pause it."

"Is that what happens when we arrive at the Academy?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do we, um, do we go back do being friends?"

He pushed my head up and placed a light kiss on my lips. When he pulled back he whispered against them: "Only if you want that."

"Of course I don't, but I know you like keeping your private life private and dating me is not going to make that easy."

"Unless we keep it a secret", he suggested.

"That's actually kind of romantic", I commented my mood lightening up again.

"So it's settled then", he started as he kissed me again, "This is our little secret."

"Our little secret", I repeated getting lost in his kisses like there was nothing else in the world that mattered.

 **5 years ago, January**

"Emma darling where do you think you're going this late?"

"I'm meeting Dimitri dad, I told you already", I shrugged pulling on my coat.

"Again?", Thomas asked leaning against the door-frame and crossing his arms, "You know if you keep spending this much time with that boy you are never going to find yourself a husband."

"Woah, seriously dad, don't you think I'm a bit too young to be thinking about marriage? Besides, I thought you liked Dimitri."

"I do. He is a nice, hardworking, young man, but Emilia, he is-."

"Not suitable for a life partner for a respectable young woman with a Royal background such as myself", I cut in trying to mimic his voice, "I got it dad. Don't worry, he is just a friend."

My words sounded ridiculous only an hour later as I arched my back grabbing the sheets around me in an attempt to stay put as I screamed out: "Oh God!"

"You don't have to be so formal, you can just call me Dimitri", Mitya joked lifting his head a bit from my groin.

"Shut up and keep going", I ordered tightening my legs around him.

He grinned and lowered his head slightly. He lightly slid his tongue against me, the sole movement sending shivers down my spine as he chuckled playfully: "What if I don't want to?"

I pushed myself off of the bed and shoved him onto his back. I knew I wouldn't be able to move a little finger on his hand if he didn't want me to, but I still felt powerful climbing on top of him as a devilish smile crossed his face.

"That's alright, I have a couple of other ideas on my mind", I answered leaning in.

After that everything was a hot, sweaty, blurry, earthshaking, bed crunching mess like always. When both of our bodies exploded I toppled down onto the bed, gluing myself to Mitya's side still tangled up with him.

"Well that was one hell of an anniversary", Mitya mumbled out chuckling.

"I can't believe it's already been three years."

"Mhm", he hummed kissing the top of my head and tracing his fingers up and down my side.

"How much time do we have?", I asked casting a look towards the watch on the night stand.

"An hour. Ivan postponed that meeting as much as he could so he could give us enough time to be together. Oh, and he said _it's about freaking time you stopped by_. He misses you."

"I really should, shouldn't I?", I commented as I let my mind wonder, "Speaking of stopping by, my cousin is coming to visit me next week for my birthday. I'd really like you to meet her."

"Sure, why not. Maybe we could all go out together and celebrate."

"I'm not that big on my birthday, but I'll see what I can do."

"Well, I know what you can do right now", he said lifting my head up to his, "We still have an hour."

"Yes Sir we do", I answered smiling as I let his hands slide to all the right places.

 **5 years ago, February**

A piercing scream pulled me from my thoughts. I turned around and saw Avery running down the train platform towards me with a wide grin on her face. She kept squealing as she approached me, until she finally managed to wrap her arms around me.

"Hey monster", I chuckled hugging her back.

"OMG, I'm soooo excited I'm here. I missed you like crazy", Ava exclaimed clutching to my arms.

"I missed you too."

"Okay, bar! You are taking me to a bar and we are compelling the bartender to give us alcohol."

"I'm not getting my fifteen year-old cousin drunk", I gasped playfully.

"The hell you're not! Besides, I'm almost sixteen. Let's goooo", she continued tugging my arm in the direction of the train station exit.

Hours later we were downing another round of shots as Ava waved at the bartender to bring us more. We were babbling, giggling and being all girly when her face suddenly becoming slightly serious and she mumbled: "Ems, can I ask you something?"

"Sure Ava, anything", I said twirling my empty glass between my fingers.

"You never officially declared a magic, right?"

"Mhm", I answered looking up at her a bit surprised by the topic.

"And that's, I don't know, okay?"

"Yeah, sure, I mean it's a bit strange, but I got used to it. Why?"

"No reason", she blurted out, but I could tell she was lying.

It was because I knew her well, but it was also because I was cheating. Over the past three years I've been discovering a lot about my abilities. Amongst many I realized that I could see this light around people and I found out that the light was called an aura. I was still working on discovering which color meant what, but I was pretty fast when it came to detecting a liar, even when I had a one glass to many of alcohol which usually tended to dial my abilities down a little.

Ava picked up her newly arrived shot and looked up at me a devilish look in her eyes as she swiftly switched the topic: "Sooo, how are things with your mysterious boyfriend?"

"Great and he is not mysterious, actually you are going to meet him later tonight."

"Finally, I thought you would never offer. If he's cute I'm stealing him", she joked finishing the shot.

When we finally stumbled out onto the street hand in hand, my whole world was spinning and I had no idea where we were heading. Some voice inside my head screamed at me about how irresponsible I was, but I chose to ignore it. I fished my phone out of my pocket and by some crazy luck managed to dial Mitya. He picked up after two rings.

"Hey, where are you? I'm just getting out of my building."

"I'm, well, hmmm", I mumbled out turning around to try to assess my surroundings, "I'm close to that bar that's close to that restaurant we wanted to go to."

"Are you drunk?", Mitya asked his voice a mix of reproach and amusement.

"Maybe", I admitted shyly.

"She is wasted", Ava screamed at my phone.

"Okay, you two stay put. I'll be there soon", he said in a scolding tone before hanging up.

"Let's go sit down", I proposed tugging Ava towards the nearby park.

We settled ourselves on a bench and I looked up to the sky trying to focus on something. Ava leaned her head against my shoulder with a sigh: "This was nice, I really had fun."

"Me too. But we should have seriously cut down on the drinking."

As silence fell upon us I heard a rustling behind me. _Wow,_ _he wasn't joking about being here soon._ I jumped off of the bench turning around with a smile as I started to say: "Mitya-."

A man slid out of the shadows, tall and masculine, dressed completely in black, his blond hair pushed on the side. I couldn't see his face yet, as he spoke up his voice ice cold: "Alexei."

"I'm sorry?"

"My name is Alexei", he responded stepping towards me.

His face was beautiful, but pale and roughly shaped. As I lifted my gaze to his I felt a scream forming in my throat, but I never had the time to let it out. He grabbed me at the speed of light casting me away like a rag doll. I hit the ground so hard I thought I might faint instantly. I heard Ava scream and that forced me to scramble up to my feet. I ran towards her and the Strigoi attacking her throwing myself at him as hard as I could. I didn't even make him stumble, I just bounced off of him hitting the ground again.

"Feisty, I like that", he shouted over his shoulder before he sank his fangs into Ava's neck and her scream became so loud and uncontrolled that she sounded like a wild animal.

"Ava", I cried out as I felt a hand grab the collar of my coat. I wiped my head around and stared into another pair of red eyes.

"Boris, don't kill her", Alexei ordered pausing for a second before returning to draining Ava as I felt pain surging through my shoulder. Maybe Boris wasn't going to kill me, but he obviously intended to take liberties. My vision became blurry, but I saw Ava's body hitting the ground and Alexei's face showing up in front of me.

"Eka", I heard a shout, the voice so familiar, but still unrecognizable since my mind could only focus on so much.

"What's your name?", Alexei asked gripping my arms tightly.

"Emilia", I stammered still terrified.

"We'll meet again Emilia", he said and just like that they were gone.

I fell to the ground and crawled to Ava. Her eyes were shut, bloodstains all over her left side. She was dead, I knew she was, but I shook her body like that would somehow make her alive and wailed her name.

"Emilia", I heard the shout again, but this time it was a bit louder.

"Ava, come on, don't die, please open your eyes", I cried choking in my own tears.

"Oh no, Emilia", the shouting voice I finally recognized said behind me as I felt strong, warm arms circle me.

I tried pushing them away, pushing Dimitri away, but I couldn't so I just stammered slumping against him: "I can fix this. I can fix it, let me go."

"Emilia she is gone-" Mitya whispered.

"No, let me go, LET ME GO", I screamed out.

His grip became lighter and I wiggled out of his arms grabbing Ava's shoulder while I screamed: "Wake up Ava, wake up, WAKE UP!"

I felt an explosion of energy ripple through every piece of my body. I thought I was about to explode, but then the energy disappeared. Ava's eyes flashed open as mine closed before I hit the ground.

 **5 years ago, March**

I opened my eyes only to be met by darkness. My heart was racing as I switched the lamp on my nightstand on. I took me a couple of minutes just to breathe before I got up, going to the bathroom and hopping under the shower. Turning the water on, I let it splash down my body as I leaned on the cold tiles. Once back in the bedroom I dialed the number I knew all too well.

"Hey, how are you feeling?", Mitya asked as soon as he picked up.

"Outstanding", I mumbled, "I need to see you."

"Why don't you come by?", he offered.

He was worried. I guess I would be too if my girlfriend brought somebody back to life and went postal after it. That night changed me. First it was the little things like mood swings, uncontrollable need to scratch my hands, shaking, then the nightmares, the anger and finally a week ago I started hearing voices in my head. Mitya got freaked out after that so much I began hiding how I felt even from him. I didn't want to worry him and I was sure it will pass.

"Sure, Ivan won't mind?"

"You know he won't. I'll be waiting."

"See you soon then."

I got dressed and headed downstairs. My father was in the living room and it took me a moment to realize what he was doing.

"Dad, why are you packing?"

"Because we are going home."

"What?", I asked dumbfounded.

"Emilia I'm worried about you, ever since you and Avery got attacked you've been cooped up in your room and Eugen told me she barely said a word. The business is stable now, so we don't have any reason to stay here anymore."

"We have a reason, I have a reason. I like it here dad, I want to stay here. My entire life is here now."

"Now you like it?", he scoffed.

"Yes I do", I retorted persistently, crossing my arms on my chest.

"Is this because of that boy?"

"His name is Dimitri, we've been friends for five years, would it kill you to remember his name?"

"Don't talk like that to me, I didn't raise you to be arrogant", he scolded.

I felt rage filling me up, but before I managed to say anything he walked up to me and placed his hands on my shoulders as he almost whispered: "I know you are a grown woman now, but to me you're still just my little girl and I love you. I know sometimes it might not seem like it, but I only want what's best for you."

I wanted to hug him, tell him I get it, that I love him too, that despite our disagreements he was always a good father, countless other things. But the rage I was feeling took over so I just spat out: "If you want what's best for me keep packing and go the hell. Just leave me out of it."

I backed away from him, turned around and left the house the door slamming behind me.

 **POV: Dimitri**

"Let's leave, run away, together", Eka pleaded squeezing my hand as she sat next to me on my bed.

"Eka you are just going through a lot, it will pass-."

"No", she cut in restlessly standing up, "This isn't about that. It's about us. I want to be with you and I don't mean the sneaking around or having limited time every day until you're needed again, I mean be with you always. I'm tired of things keeping us apart. I'm just tired. I want you to think about it, really think about it. Don't answer me now. Five days. I'll wait for you five days from now in this exact time with two plane tickets. I'll be on the train station. If you decide you want this, you'll come and will head to the airport. If you don't come, well either way I'll know what your decision is."

I opened my mouth in an attempt to say something, but she just gently kissed me, before picking up her jacket walking towards the door. I followed her not knowing whether I should try to stop her or let her go. She has been all over the place lately with her emotions and her moods. It was getting difficult to follow her. But I loved her, more than anything in the world and I knew I didn't need time to decide. I've decided a long time ago. I've decided there is no life for me without her. I respected her wishes though, not giving her the answer. Instead, I took her hand as she stood by the door and whispered: "I love you."

"I love you too", she said before she pulled it open and walked out.

 **POV: Emilia**

I glanced at my watch again and then reluctantly stepped onto the train that will take me home. Once inside I sat next to the window, leaning against it and exhaling right before tears started rolling down my cheeks. I was shaking, so I hugged myself and curled up in my seat.

" _He didn't show up, he doesn't love you_ ", I heard a voice in my head.

" _Shut up_ ", I thought.

" _You are a fool, you should have known better_ ", the voice kept taunting me.

"Go away!", I screamed out. _Great now I'm talking to myself._

" _You are not talking to yourself, you are talking to me. Why do you want me to go away, because I'm telling you the truth?_ "

"No, because you are not real, you're a part of my imagination", I mumbled out shutting my eyes and pressing my fingers against my temple.

" _Am I now_?", the voice sneered, but went away afterwards.

As soon as I set one foot inside my house, my father came flying out of the living room a furious look on his face as he almost shouted: "Buying plane tickets are we?"

"Thomas, I'm tired, I can't do this right now", I breathed out.

"Oh no, no. You _are_ doing this now. What in the God's name were you thinking Emilia? Where are you planning to go? Who are you going with?"

"No one Thomas, NO ONE", I screamed out finally exploding, ripping my jacket off of me and throwing it to the ground, "I was going to leave with Dimitri, you know the one whose name you keep forgetting. I lied about him by the way, he wasn't just a friend. He was a lot more than a friend."

"Emilia-", Thomas started to say, but I continued ranting anger exploding out of me.

" _Tell him, tell him everything. See how he'll feel",_ the voice appeared again.

"Yes dad, you precious little girl was fucking with a Dhampir!"

Before I realized what he was about to do and before he could stop himself, he slapped me so hard my head turned. I stared at him confused, my cheek turning red.

" _Hurt him_ ", another voice said.

"Emilia, oh God, I'm so sorry", Thomas stammered trying to approach me.

I stepped back tightening my fists.

" _Hurt him, hurt him, hurt him_ ", voices ranted in my head driving me mad.

"Oh, you're going to be sorry alright", I retorted in a voice that I couldn't recognize. It was cold, dead, it wasn't me.

" _HURT HIM!_ "

I launched myself at him knocking him on the ground. I pushed his head aside and sank my fangs into his neck as he screamed. He called my name, begged me to stop, tried to push me away, but it was no use. I was riding on adrenaline and rage and he was just a man terrified of what was happening to him, terrified of his own daughter.

" _Kill him_ ", those voices now completely took over my mind and body.

I drank his blood until his body became awfully still. As I stopped I realized the voices were gone, so was the pain, the anger, the fear. I looked up into the mirror on the wall in front of me, expecting to see violet crystals looking back, but they were gone too. The only thing looking back at me was a pair of cold and lifeless eyes, their color tainted with the same one that's been haunting me. Red.


	11. CH11 - I Need To Know

**POV: Dimitri**

"Now that was one hell of a story", Adrian was the first to speak once Emilia was done as he absentmindedly took out a cigarette lighting it up, "Questions are literally exploding in my mind."

I turned around to look at Lissa, waiting for her to react to Adrian's smoking, but it was as if she didn't notice. She was nervously tapping her fingers on the armrest of her chair, clearly straining her brain with something.

"So ask them", Eka answered giving him a tight-lipped smile.

But before Adrian could even managed to open his mouth, before anyone could, Lissa shook out of whatever trance she was in and leaned forward, her face serious and worried, she asked: "Avery is your cousin?"

"The surname wasn't a giveaway?", Eka chuckled raising her eyebrow.

"Well sort of, I mean there are a lot of Lazar's out there, I didn't know you were that close", Lissa blurted out nervously, frowning as she did.

Eka's eyes suddenly lit up in realization, her face spreading into an honest smile as she exclaimed in excitement: "Wait, do you know her?"

Every single person in the room shifted uncomfortably. I didn't have the pleasure of meet Avery again, not since the night they got attacked by Strigoi. I didn't even meet her properly then, she left soon after and Emilia rarely spoke of her afterwards. But I've heard about the experience the rest of the people sitting around me had with her and I knew how her story ended. When nobody answered Eka prompted again in slight confusion: "Does she live here?"

"Actually she lives in a far less exclusive place", Christian answered his voice dripping in sarcasm.

Lissa and Adrian exchanged looks, while Rose almost choked on the glass of water she attempt to drink. Christian was as straightforward as always, but frankly I didn't really see any other nicer way to deliver the news they had. Lissa however attempted to ease into it, her voice light and her words carefully picked as she desperately tried not to upset Eka: "She, um, she is in a hospital."

It was no use. Eka was on her feet the moment Lissa's last word was out of her mouth like the whole place just caught on fire. Panic obviously took a hold of her as she looked from face to face for a clue while blurting out: "Why is she in a hospital, what's wrong with her?"

"She went nuts", Christian said earning an angry look from Lissa before shrugging, "What? She did."

"She overused Spirit and burned herself out. She needed to be hospitalized afterwards", Adrian patiently explained blowing out a puff of smoke.

"Oh", Eka whispered sitting back down unsteadily.

Her mind must be racing by now. She didn't even know that Avery was a Spirit user. She thought she might be, I remember she told me about a strange conversation they had the last time they saw each other, about the questions Avery asked, about how nervous she became when Emilia tried to make her fess up. She hasn't seen Avery in five years and this was what she came back to, her cousin going mad and ending up in the hospital, the remains of her closest family falling apart. It must be more than difficult for her to let it all sink in. I pondered on whether I should say or do something, attempt to help her, but as I looked at her something else dragged my attention. Adrian focusing on Eka while squinting his eyes slightly, made me realize he was studying her aura. I've learned to recognize the look and I didn't need to be a Spirit User to know that whatever he saw wasn't good. But before I could even begin to think of something to say Roza spoke up. It surprised me that she has managed to stay quiet for this long to be honest and it surprised me even more that I didn't predict the question she asked earlier. I should have.

"So you dated for four years and you just what, decided to give up?"

The question was aimed directly at me and as I met her gaze, I realized that in the midst of all of this chaos, I somehow allowed myself to completely forget to think about what this must feel like for Rose. I was in trouble, big time. I could see an angry glint in her eyes and I knew it was taking her every last bit of self-control not to start screaming at me right now. She was beyond pissed and I didn't blame her. Keeping all of this from her seemed like a good idea at a time, why burden her with ugly things from my past when the person they were connected to was gone. I guess I was wrong to think something like this could ever happen.

"I didn't give up", I admitted knowing there was no backing out of this anymore.

"But you never showed", Roza argued like she was the one left standing alone on a train platform, "She waited for you and you just-."

"I was going to meet her", I cut in glancing at Emilia as a strange, gloomy expression crossed her face, "I was on my way, but I-."

"Got held up", Eka finished my sentence taking me entirely by surprise.

I looked at her again questioningly, waiting for her to continue. She let out a sigh before she almost whispered: "I know now you were on you way. I found out soon after I turned. Alexei told me. He was the one that made sure you wouldn't reach me in time."

"Alexei? The Strigoi that attacked you?", Adrian asked trying to catch up to the conversation that was developing fast.

"The one and only", Eka smirked fixing her eyes on the floor, "He promised we would meet again for a reason. He liked me, thought I'd make a good companion. He wanted to take me, he was just waiting for a good opportunity. He was watching me, studying me sort of, for days after the attack. He learned everything about me and when I set out to go to the train station he sent some low-ranking Strigoi from his nest to kill you or at least distract you for long enough. He came to my house, planning to snatch me and turn me himself, but I guess I did that for him already."

"The Strigoi that attacked me, I killed him. He talked though, before I managed to stake him, he talked a lot. He said you were as good as dead once he was done with me. When the fighting was over I hurled to the station, I was terrified I won't reach you in time to save you. When I realized you weren't there, I went to your house, but-", I let my voice trail off.

We all knew now what I found when I reached Eka's house. We all knew I was terrified for a good reason. I didn't reach her in time to save her. Not from another Strigoi though as I thought, but from herself.

"Did you know, straight away what happened?", Lissa asked me.

"No. I thought somebody took her, killed her father in the process. I looked for her, for so long-."

"But again Alexei made sure you wouldn't even get close to finding me. He wanted to kill you, but I convinced him not to. Instead I sent another minion, ordering him not to harm you, but to make sure you thought I was dead."

"He didn't really follow those orders."

"Obviously. Strigoi are like that", she bitterly chuckled.

"So if you gave out orders, you were like, what, the boss?", Adrian asked while leaning in to put his cigarette out in the ashtray on the coffee table in front of him.

"Not exactly, but I had enough influence."

"So you were with him the entire time?", I asked feeling uncomfortable at the thought.

"Pretty much", Eka confirmed blushing a little, "I mean I bounced around a bit. Alexei travelled a lot, usually for business, so I would sometimes stick around with another nest until he wrapped things up."

"What kind of business?, Christian asked curiously.

"Thrust me, you don't want to know", Eka answered a look of disgust crossing her face.

"Did you stay with some nests in Russia?", Roza questioned her tensing up.

I knew where she was heading with that, but before I could stop her she added: "Like the one Galina was running? You mentioned her, surely you knew she was a Strigoi as well?"

"Yes I stayed with Galina a couple of times. Galina was actually working for Alexei, since she was, um, turned. Why do you ask?", Eka said clearly uncomfortable, but still not realizing what Rose was doing.

I gave her a sharp look hoping I'd stop her, but she was still so angry and this was her retaliation. She had this look in her eyes, the look she always got when she was up to no good as she delivered the final blow casually saying: "Well you could have run into Dimitri then. He was working for Galina, you know while he was a Strigoi."

What followed was one of those movie moments the only thing missing in it a dramatic tune playing in the background. Emilia went from uncomfortable and confused to shocked, scared, terrified and then finally denial struck as she almost knocked over the coffee table jerking towards me, her eyes pleading, asking me to tell her what she just heard wasn't the truth, wasn't real, praying that Rose was wrong as she gasped one single word: "No."

"Emilia, I-", I started to say straining my mind to come up with anything that will stop her from falling apart like I knew she would.

"No, no, no", she repeated getting up as Adrian grabbed the table to keep it in place since her movements were rather uncoordinated.

"Oh so I guess I wasn't the only one he was keeping secrets from", Rose spat out crossing her arms and narrowing her eyes as a frown formed on her forehead, "At least when it comes to you he can pretend he didn't tell you, because he didn't get a chance."

"Rose", Lissa warned her watching Eka who barely stood on her feet as she stared at me still trying to grasp what she was just told.

"What? Don't you think that after everything she's been through, she at least deserves to know that?", Roza persisted oblivious to the pain she was causing.

"Roza, enough, please", I voiced getting to my feet in order to approach Eka.

I knew Rose, she would never intentionally hurt someone and she most definitely wasn't aiming to hurt Eka who's done nothing bad to her whatsoever. She was blinded by her anger at me, a well-deserved anger, enough not to notice the commotion she was starting. Also, she had no idea, none, that Emilia carved into her memory the words I ones told her, that I'd rather die a thousand times than became an evil, soulless thing, that my worst nightmare, next to losing her, was being a Strigoi. She was already living with the fact that she was partially responsible for one of those two nightmares coming to life, she allowed it to happen the moment she gave into the anger and desperation, seeking a way out by turning it all off.

Rose's eyes finally traveled back to Emilia and I saw the anger dissolve getting replace by guilt. She didn't respond, backing down as she clearly feeling a pang of conscience upon realizing what she's done.

"But, he promised, he said he wouldn't. No, it's my fault", Eka mumbled as she moved away turning around the room like she was trying to find a way to escape.

Before I could reach her Adrian moved in an admirable speed stepping next to Eka, taking her hands gently and pulling her into a hug as he whispered: "Emma calm down. Hey, it's okay."

By the look Lissa gave him and Emilia's sudden calmness, I knew he pulled Spirit to keep her in check. He lifted his gaze to Christian before signalizing with his eyes towards their jackets while saying: "You know what it's been a rather long morning for the two of us, so we should get going. Emma is going to be around, so we'll all have plenty of chances talk about this stuff."

Roza got up, approached Eka and despite Adrian's cold look, touched her arm making Eka turn around.

"It wasn't your fault. I promise you that. Dimitri's, um, situation had nothing to do with you. I'm sorry I upset you."

Eka just gave her a small smile nodding. Adrian held her jacket and then gently nudged her towards the door. I stayed right where I was completely numb as Eka turned around one more time giving me the saddest look I've ever seen on her before Adrian led her out.

 **POV: Rose**

"So were you ever going to tell me or were you just going to pretend like it never happened? You loved her and lost her, surely that defined the rest of your life. That's why you moved here wasn't it? To get as far away from the memories you had of her as possible? Was I your rebound then? Was that it?", I yelled at Dimitri as I frantically moved our things around trying to tide up a nonexistent mess in out apartment.

"Roza-."

"Don't you Roza me", I fumed giving him the angriest look I could pull off, "I could seriously punch you in the face right now."

"So punch me, if that's going to make you feel better, but Rose I didn't tell you because it never came up and like I already mentioned it was a painful subject, the one I saw no reason to burden you with."

I opened my mouth to start screaming again, but before I could he continued: "I moved because I had no reason to stay in Russia anymore and I needed a fresh start after Ivan's and Emilia's death. You were not a rebound and you pretending that you believe that is below you."

"You still should have told me", I barked at him.

"Well I know that now and I'm sorry."

"Sorry you didn't tell me or sorry you got caught in a lie?"

"Roza, I wasn't lying, I just didn't want to talk about it. If I knew this would affect you in any way I would have told you."

"Well it does and like I said you should have", I mumbled trying to fold one of my T-shirts that's been lying around as my hands shook, "Dimitri she was your first love, in what universe would that not matter?"

"In the one where you are my _true_ love", he answered the look in his eyes almost melting me away. _Almost_.

"Am, I? Are you sure?", I asked pushing him even more.

"Don't be ridiculous. You know damn well that you are."

I turned away from him exhaling in frustration before throwing my shirt on the ground and giving up on trying to put it into any reasonable shape. I heard Dimitri move behind me and seconds later his hands circled me. I wiggled around thinking he would let me go, but he just tightened his hold on me and looked into my eyes his own filled with love. And like always his warmth and devotion disabled me, I couldn't fight him anymore.

"Fine, I'm still mad though", I muttered as he leaned his forehead against mine.

"I wouldn't have it any other way", he answered smiling.

"And no more thinking that I shouldn't know something, tell me everything, even if it seems unimportant and petty, even if you think it will burden me. Okay?"

"Okay Roza, I will", he nodded.

"And if anything changes in your feelings about me now that Emilia is back-."

"Nothing will change Roza, I can assure you of that", he cut in with a fierce and determined voice.

"Just saying, if it happens just tell me."

"It won't happen, but alright."

He was sincere, I knew he was. Yet somehow I couldn't shake this feeling, like karma decided to be a bitch and get back at me for my wrongs. A glimpse of a similar situation ran through my head, where Adrian was the one telling me the same thing about Dimitri and me reassuring him I wouldn't change my mind about being with him. _What if it was my turn to see how it feels?_ But, I decided to shake the feeling off as I looked into the most beautiful eyes of the man I knew loved me more than anything.

 **POV: Lissa**

"Your Majesty, I'm very sorry to disturb you, but there is a woman waiting for you in the lobby. She doesn't have an appointment, but she was rather persistent about seeing you. Should I pencil her in or would you like to see her now? Her name is Emilia Lazar."

"Send her in", I said closing the last file I had. It was still early in the day, so I was expecting much more. I knew becoming a Queen meant some paperwork, but I never expected to be buried in them every day.

"Yes your Majesty, right away."

"Hannah, I already told you that you can call me Lissa. You've been working for me since they placed that crown on my head and I spend more time with you than I do with my boyfriend."

She smiled and nodded, quietly exiting the room. Moments later the door opened and Emilia uncertainly walked in. Since last night I've been wondering about how she was doing. She was so upset, her aura all over the place, frankly it was a bit scary to see it. But as she stepped into my office any trace of the turmoil within her from last night was gone. Her expression, her aura it all screamed determination at me, like she was one a mission.

"I hope I'm not interrupting you", she said looking at the everlasting stack of papers on my desk.

"Not at all, please, sit", I answered gesturing towards the chair opposite of mine, "What can I do for you?"

"Well, you told me that when I feel like I should take charge of my life again I'll get to decide what's next for me. I believe that time has come."

"Certainly, so what is next for you?", I asked leaning my arms on the table and tangling my fingers.

"I would like to move into my old house and it felt like I should ask for permission or something", she mumbled out looking more uncomfortable by the second, but still firmly sticking to whatever plan she had in her head.

Despite my best efforts not to do it, I burst into laughter.

"I'm sorry", I exclaimed trying to calm down, "I'm not laughing at you in a mocking way, I just think its sweet of you to ask for permission. There is really no need for that, it's your house, and you can do with it as you please."

My laughter pushed her to smile as well as she said: "Well that's settled then."

"Was that all?"

"Not quite", she answered losing the smile as fast as it appeared, "I was wondering if you could tell me where Avery is. I would like to visit her."

"I honestly wouldn't know. Her father, your uncle, was the one that took care of getting her and her brother the help they needed. It was pretty hush hush. But I could ask around if it's important to you."

"I would be very grateful if you'd do that."

"Then I'll see what I can do."

"Thank you", she said getting up, "I should let you get back to your work."

"Emilia", I called after her once she was already at the door, "There will be an event next Saturday here at Court. Perhaps you'd like to come. There will be many members of Royal families there, so it might be a good opportunity for you to be reintroduced to the society. And it might be fun."

"I'll consider it", she answered her cheeks turning red instantly, "Thank you for the invitation."

"You're welcome", I said giving her one last smile before the door shut behind her.

* * *

 **Chapter song:** **I need to know - Kris Allen**


	12. CH12 - Damn Your Eyes

**POV: Emilia**

" _You can do this, you can do this!_ ", I kept repeating to myself as I sat in the waiting room.

I decided it was time for me to get back to a normal life, well at least something that resembled it. I needed to get use to normal things again. Sadly, feeding counted into those. A guy approached me and led me down the hall to one of the rooms.

"Enjoy", he said before swiftly disappearing.

I looked at the white door in front of me and after taking in a deep breath I pushed it open. There was a girl sitting on an armchair in the middle of the room. She had a dazzled look in her eyes as she drawled: "Hello there, come on in, make yourself comfortable."

"Hi", I mumbled still standing at the door.

I pushed myself to approach her, but my legs refused to move. I was hungry and even though I didn't want to admit it I was sick of blood bags. I could smell her from where I was standing, because the bite marks on her arms were still fresh. I focused on those marks and my heart started pumping like crazy. I wanted to bite her, badly. _But what if I couldn't stop?_ I backed away in panic and ran out of the room. As the door slammed behind me, I slammed into someone. _Ouch!_

"Woah, you must be in a hurry."

"I'm s-", I started looking up and meeting already very familiar green eyes.

"You okay Lazar? You look like you've seen a ghost", Adrian chuckled observing me.

"Fine", I stammered.

His eyebrow shot up as he simply asked: "Do you want to talk about it after you're done feeding?"

"I am done", I lied embarrassed by my panic attack.

"You might have fooled me if your looks didn't give you away", he observed.

"What's wrong with my looks?"

I knew he was referring to my paler than usual skin and probably bags under my eyes that were visible despite my attempt to cover them with makeup. He just shook his head as he offered me his hand. I took it unsteadily as he suggested: "Come on. Let's do it together."

"What?", I exclaimed as he pulled me towards the room.

"You are scared because you think you might kill someone, am I right?"

I considered lying to him for a moment, but then reluctantly just nodded.

"We I'll make sure you don't. Now come on, I'm starving", he said as my hand slipped from his and I stumbled after him back into the room.

The girl cracked a wide smile as soon as she saw us. Adrian smiled back winking as he sang: "Hey Sophia."

"Adriannn", she basically squealed, "So nice of you to stop by."

"You know her?", I whispered.

"You stay here for long enough you know everyone. They are my way of surviving, I can at least learn their names."

"Considerate", I mumbled.

"What?"

"Nothing", I said sitting down.

He sat on the opposite side of the girl and started chatting with her about some random stuff. I spaced out for a bit trying to calm my nerves so it took me a couple of moments to realize Adrian said something to me. I looked at him in confusion.

"Ladies first", he repeated motioning towards Sophia.

I just shook my head earning a shrug from him. He gently raised her hand and sank his teeth into her wrist. She gasped, her smiled becoming wider as she leaned back into her chair. When I didn't move he shifted his gaze up signalizing me to join him. I took her other hand and brought it close to my mouth. I took a deep breath, before biting her. Her blood flowed into my mouth, warm and sweet, just like I remembered it. It felt good, it felt really good. Without thinking I grabbed Adrian's hand again, needing to feel reality in the most literal way possible. He obviously didn't mind since he squeezed it gently and started rubbing my fingers with his thumb. I drank until he tugged slightly on my arm letting me know it was time to stop. I straightened up as he said goodbye to the girl and followed him out. As we walked past the waiting room, I noticed a couple of people turned to look at us. It took me seconds to realize it was because my hand was still in his. I thought about pulling it back, but his touch felt so calming and warm I decided against it. He was the first to speak once we were outside of the building.

"See, we all survived it", he chuckled snatching a box of cigarettes out of his pocket.

He pulled one with his mouth and as he was about to put the box back I asked him: "Can I have one?"

He looked at me surprised: "You smoke?"

"Occasionally."

He popped the box back open and I took one too. He lit up both of our cigarettes without ever letting go off my hand. As I took the cigarette away from my mouth he raised his hand to my cheek. I jerked back slightly, making him smile.

"Relax, I don't bite. Well at least in this particular scenario I don't. You have a little "leftover" there."

I relaxed and he placed his hand on my cheek whipping the stain by his thumb. In that exact moment Rose and Dimitri rounded a corner bumping straight into us. I could see by the look in Rose's eyes what she witnessed was rather amusing to her. I mean it probably would be to anyone judging by the fact that Adrian and I were standing mere inches apart holding hands and his other hand was on my cheek. I blushed pulling back and letting go of Adrian's hand.

"Don't stop on our account", Rose joked winking.

I blushed even more, but unlike me Adrian didn't show any signs of embarrassment as he commented: "Wasn't planning to."

"We just went to the feeders", I blurted out the first thing that popped into my head like I was trying to justify being here. _Don't be weird Emilia_ , I thought to myself.

I glanced at Dimitri who, unlike Rose, didn't seem amused in the slightest. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he actually looked pissed off. Rose, however, didn't paying much attention to Dimitri's grim look, or was very good at hiding that she did as she asked: "How did it go?"

"How did what go?", I said confused.

"Feeding", Rose prompted clearly entertained by how bewildered I was.

"Fine I guess."

"Good. I'm glad to see you're getting back to normal."

I peered up at Dimitri again and found him staring at my hand. There was a dose of bitterness in his voice when he asked: "You're smoking?"

"Yes, dad", I tried joking, but I myself cringed at my terrible sense of humor and the timing for it.

"That's a bad habit", he persisted becoming more vexed by the second.

"Well something has to kill us", Adrian scoffed making me chuckle which earned me a frown from Dimitri and I wide grin from Adrian.

"We should get going", Rose broke in, "We'll see you guys around."

We said goodbyes and continued walking towards my building. Adrian was quiet, which was a first for him. I looked up I saw dark green strikes across his gold aura.

"Adrian?"

"It's fine", he retorted making it clear he knew exactly what I was looking at and what I knew, but not turning around to face me.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"There's nothing to talk about, truly", he persisted, but his mood kept darkening.

He kept staring ahead as he took out another cigarette and nervously stuffed it into his mouth. Something was really bothering him so I tried again to get him talking by prompting: "You don't really like him, do you?"

"Who?", he asked as he's eyes darted to my face.

"Mitya."

"Trust me it's mutual", he sneered.

"Why?"

"Because we dated the same girl."

It only took me a minute before words came flying out of my mouth on their own: "Rose. Who dated her first? You?"

"If you asked him, I'm sure our stories would differ, but basically, yeah, I did. I mean there was sort of an unofficial thing going on between them before he became a Strigoi, then I dated her, and then-", his voice trailed off.

"And then what?", I pushed.

"Well she is his girlfriend now", he answered averting his gaze again.

I wondered what exactly happened, but I realized Adrian obviously didn't want to talk about it so I asked trying to switch the topic: "You want to go grab a drink somewhere?"

"A girl who drinks this early in the day, Lazar you might be my dream come true", Adrian joked giving me a wide smile.

I wasn't really in the mood for drinking, but seeing Adrian's dark mood disappear so quickly was worth the "sacrifice". _This is going to be one hell of a day._

 **POV: Dimitri**

I kept trying to figure out why seeing Emilia that close to Adrian was bothering me so much. _It's because you care for her,_ I thought. But on the other hand he wasn't doing anything bad. _He was touching her_. But it was none of my business. Besides there wasn't anything wrong with the touch, nothing sexual in it. _But there might be_. Even if it might, it was still none of my business. Battling myself in my mind was pointless, so I sought distraction looking at Roza as I intended to strike a conversation with her, but looks like I wasn't the only one trapped inside my head. She was frowning, like she was trying to concentrate on something and it wasn't assessing our surroundings for possible treats either.

I didn't want to bother her, so I decided to dedicate my attention to the job instead scanning the surroundings and analyzing every weak position. We were passing through one of the Court's gardens, as we've picked up Christian and Lissa since they wanted to go for a walk. They were in front of us, giggling like two kids, reminding me, for a split of a second, how it felt to be in love for the first time. When it seems like the whole world is yours and nothing can tear you apart. I learned that wasn't necessarily true the harder way.

"You okay?", Roza whispered to me all of a sudden, "You seem distracted."

"I'm fine", I answered, but I knew I wasn't fooling her, "Are you?"

"Yup, I was just trying to figure something out."

"What were you trying to figure out? Perhaps I can help?", I offered wanting to have something to think about rather than my mixed feelings.

"I was trying to figure out why you acted like a jealous boyfriend when we ran into Adrian and Emilia", she said in a fake casual tone. _So much for thinking about something else._

"What?", I stammered out.

"Just because I didn't react doesn't mean I didn't notice", she pointed out crossing her arms on her chest.

"Where did you get the idea I was acting like a jealous boyfriend?"

"You smoke?", she repeated my question to Eka imitating my voice and making a face while she was at it.

"Yes, I don't like it when she does that. It's not healthy!", I argued not seeing anything bad in my worry. Or was I just lying to myself and Rose.

"It's not your call", Rose retorted looking at me.

"It was just a comment Roza, nothing more", I reassured us both.

"So it didn't bother you that you saw my ex all over your ex?", she challenged me.

I paused for a second before answering, picking my word carefully: "It did, but not for the reason you think. It's just, well, you know what Adrian's like and his been spending a lot of time with her, I just don't think it's smart to-."

"What? Let her have a friend to help her through all of this. You do realize that's what his doing, right? Helping. I know it sounds weird, but it is what it is. I mean it's safe to say Adrian is promiscuous, but he is not an idiot", Rose cut in.

"I'm not saying he's an idiot, but she is vulnerable right now and it's easy to take advantage of her. And I'm not saying he'll do that, but-."

"You have your doubts?", she finished guessing my thoughts before she frowned and added, "You're very protective of her."

"Roza, I've known her for a long time and we weren't just lovers, we were friends too. I can't help but to feel protective of her or to want what's best for her."

"I know Comrade, but ease up a little. You're not kids anymore. She doesn't need your protection. She survived getting attacked by Strigoi and being a Strigoi herself. I'm pretty sure she can survive Adrian Ivashkov", she blurted out, "The real question here is whether Adrian's potential attack on her virtue was the only reason you kicked into full blown pissed off mode?"

"I wasn't pissed off", I responded looking at her as she made that face, that "really?" face she was so good at making and mockingly coughed,"Roza I already told you, I don't have feelings for her. Well truthfully I do, but there is nothing romantic about them whatsoever."

"Okay, okay, got it!", she said, but I got the feeling this wasn't going to be the last argument we'll have on the topic.

 **POV: Emilia**

It was safe to say I was buzzed. My initial "sacrifice" turned into "pleasure" right around the time I finished my third glass of tequila sunrise. Adrian was playing with one of the umbrella decorations from my cocktail, twirling it around the table. His drinking speed was far greater than mine judging by the fact that he was ordering his sixth glass of bourbon.

"I swear the bartender is making these cocktails stronger on purpose."

"Lightweight", Adrian joked pinching my arm.

The waitress placed our new round of drinks on the table and gave Adrian a hungry look. He didn't even notice. As she left I laughed and upon seeing Adrian's questioning expression observed: "I think she likes you."

"Who?"

"Our waitress, I think she is going to start drooling over you anytime now", I chuckled peering at the waitress again only to see her biting her lower lip and crossing her legs while squeezing them slightly. _Oh, she is having some wet thoughts alright._

"Meh, been there, done her", he shrugged.

I laughed, taking one of the umbrellas and tucking it behind my ear as I giggled: "You're a womanizer, aren't you?"

"I've been called worse", he chuckled, "What about you?"

"What about me? I haven't been called a womanizer that's for sure."

"Obviously", he laughed, "But what's your story, Belikov aside?"

"If I told you I would have to kill you", I teased him.

"Consider my interests peeked!", he exclaimed, "I'll tell you what, we are going to play a little game. The game is simple and it will allow us to get to know each other a bit better while having fun."

"Alright, game on."

I lost track of time and the room was already spinning like crazy halfway through the game. But I honestly couldn't remember the last time I was having this much fun. We laughed so hard every person in the bar gave us at least one irritated look for being so loud, but we didn't care. As tears sprung to my eyes and my stomach ached Adrian ones again lifted his glass and announced: "Okay, my turn. It's time for another nasty one. Never have I ever hooked up with a girl."

"Wait, define hooked up?"

"Nothing bellow third base counts."

He waited for me to raise my glass, but I shook my head saying: "Nope. You are out of luck. I did kiss a girl once, but it was truth and dare."

"Oh, come on, seriously?", he cried out taking a sip alone.

"Never have I ever tied up my partner during-", I let my voice trail off and smiled at Adrian when he stared at my glass like he was trying to will it into my hand.

"Okay, you are officially the most boring person in the world", he scoffed drinking again, "You need to live a little. But I have to say though that was a nice one."

"Thank you and just for that I'll have some of this", I answered taking my cocktail.

"No, no wait. Let me try one more time. Never have I ever been kissed by somebody out of the blue."

As I was about to say that's a ridiculous try he leaned over the table and placed a kiss in the corner of my lips. It was a swift and gentle peck, not romantic, but not entirely friendly either. His lips were silky and warm and as he leaned in I could smell his perfume. He took me completely by surprise as he did that. And I found myself wishing I moved just an inch to the side to make his lips land on my. _Must be the alcohol talking._

He pulled back just a little and whispered: "Drink."

I took a big sip, still looking at him hypnotized by his eyes. It felt like he read my mind, because the next thing out of his mouth was: "Beautiful."

"Hm?", I mumbled confused.

"Your eyes, they are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. They are like a pair of big, shinning, crystal clear, mesmerizing amethysts, but it's more than that, more than looks, it's how they feel. If I stare at them long enough, I get so lost in their depths it feels like I'm in another universe. The energy behind them, damn I swear it could blow me away in a heartbeat."

I was left speechless. I swallowed hard, trying to come up with something to say, anything to say. That's when he looked away and downed the rest of his drink.

"Well this was fun", he remarked like his poetic comment about my eyes never happened.

I was still amazed by his mood swings. I had them all the time, it was just a thing with the Spirit, but his were so fast and harsh I was beginning to think it was just a part of his personality.

Still in awe I managed to come up with a short response: "Yeah."

"We should do this again", he added asking for the bill.

"Agreed", I answered.

As soon as that word left my mouth a warning formed in mind. _You're playing with fire._ But for some reason, my whole body was aching to get burned.

* * *

 **Chapter song: Damn your eyes - Alex Clare**


	13. CH13 - Bonfire Heart

**POV: Emilia**

I was wet. And not in a good way. And freaking cold. _What the hell?_ I opened my eyes in the moment another glass full of icy water splashed in my face.

"Fucking-", I mumbled out pulling myself backwards and slamming into my bedpost.

"Oh, thank heavens, your alive", Adrian rejoiced holding the formerly mentioned glass in his hand.

"Are you insane?", I yelled kicking on my wet covers, trying to free my legs.

"We've already been through that when we met, remember", he chuckled straightening up.

I noticed he was shamelessly scanning me from head to toe, his eyes lingering on my bare legs since I only had my panties and a plain, white, strap T-shirt on. I blushed before I threw my legs over the edge of the bed getting up, which apparently wasn't a good idea since I only allowed him a better view and he wasn't even trying to cover up a satisfied expression as his eyes traveled to the parts my panties actually did cover, making me feel like my scares clothing was actually see-through.

"What the hell are you doing here?", I exclaimed managing to get his attention back to my face, "And how the hell did you get in?"

"You left the door unlocked", he answered like he did something completely normal.

"And you just thought it might be fun to give me a shower while I'm sleeping?"

"No actually, I came in because I knocked for like twenty minutes and I thought something was wrong. Then I tried waking you up and damn I thought I was the one having trouble getting out of bed. After shaking you, yelling and playing the stereo I went for the nuclear option, thus your shower", he answered in one breathe.

"Huh", was the best response I could conjure up.

"Are you okay, because waking you up should definitely not be that hard?"

"I'm on sleeping pills, they knock you out pretty good. They must have mixed with those cocktail we had yesterday, so I guess that means I should probably cut down on alcohol."

"You think?", he scoffed putting the glass down on the table as he added, "Why are you on sleeping pills?"

"Because they stop me from waking up every five minutes from nightmares. You tend to have a lot of those after being a heartless nonliving living thing", I mumbled as I turned to my dresser to find some dry clothes, "So what was the reason of your rescue mission from sleep-land, anyway?"

"Shopping."

"Come again?", I shrieked not believing what my ears just heard.

"Shopping", he repeated calmly, "You need a dress for the event on Saturday."

"You mean the event I'm not going to?"

"The hell you're not, everybody is going to be there", he argued finding a dry spot on my bed and sitting down.

"Exactly", I responded going into the bathroom.

"Oh no, you're not getting out of this one Lazar. You said you wanted to start your life again and you're not going to be able to do it if you keep hiding in this awful room", he shouted after me, but luckily didn't follow me in.

"First of all I'm not hiding", I retorted pulling my clothes on and grabbing my toothbrush, "Second I'm moving to my old house as soon as I'm done renovating it and third I hate shopping."

The last part of my sentence came out in a mumble as I stuck the toothbrush into my mouth and began rubbing.

"I thought all girls liked shopping", he exclaimed as his voice seemed to become more distant.

I finished up and walked back into the room to find him in the kitchenette making coffee. He really had no trouble making himself at home wherever he was. I joined him taking out to mugs and concluding: "You were wrong."

"Fine, then I'll make you an offer you can't refuse."

I wanted to tell him that there is not a single offer in this world good enough to change my mind about this, but instead I opted for a different option, my interest peeked. I leaned against the kitchen element and responded: "I'm listening."

"If you come to the event I'll consider it a personal favor and in return you'll get to ask for anything you want from me", he proudly stated.

I pondered on his offer. It was tempting. And the fact was that, despite my refusal to accept it, I really needed to make an appearance at the event in order to at least attempt to have a normal life again. I'll admit it though, having Adrian in my pocket certainly helped thing along. Peering up at him I squinted and questioned: "Anything I want?"

"Anything", he pledged crossing his heart in overly dramatic way.

"Okay, fine, I'll go to the event and I'll go shopping, but I have certain conditions."

"I'm listening", he repeated my words taking a cup of coffee I offered him.

"I want to go outside the Courts ground, to a mall, like a normal person. I don't want to go to fancy Court shops or have a tailor or something."

"Deal", he said, but I knew he disagreed with my choice.

"And no drivers. I want to drive, just the two of us."

"You know you are a very demanding person", he joked rolling his eyes.

"Do you want me to go to that stupid event or not?"

"Car. The two of us. Got it!", he blurted out heading to the door so fast he forgot to leave the mug behind.

The drive to the mall was pleasant. It felt good to be outside for a change. Outside and away from anyone who knew me, except for Adrian of course. But he was actually a rather good company to have. At times annoyingly stubborn, complicated and a bit spoiled, but good, funny and sweet too. We searched the mall for hours, I tried on countless dresses, but I always kept finding an excuse why none of them were good enough. Adrian at a certain point told me that not picking a dress won't save me from the even and that I was going even if he has to drag me there naked. After that he spend about five solid minutes smiling devilishly as he was probably picturing actually taking me somewhere naked. He was irrevocable.

As we walked out of yet another store empty-handed Adrian began dragging his feet while complaining: "My legs are killing me."

"You know walking is good for your health", I answered turning another corner in an endless cycle of shops around me.

"Health? What is that? Where do you find that?", he scoffed.

"Come on Ivashkov, stop whining", I chuckled as I glanced around, "We have a few more shops to go to and then-."

I let my words trail off as I stopped, realizing Adrian was no longer walking beside me. Swinging around I saw him standing in front of one of the shops we passed by. He was looking at something, a thoughtful look on his face as he shouted: "I found it."

"You found health?", I joked approaching him.

"I found your dress."

I came to stand next to him and followed his gaze to the glass in front of us. He was looking at a knee length sleeveless black dress. The upper part of the dress was tight and I knew it would cling perfectly to my body. It had a heart shaped black corset that was covered in two straps of patterned silver lace. Between those straps the front and the back was also covered in thin black lace going up to the neckline. The dress spread from the waist in a big fluffy circle. The bottom was also covered in the same silver lace pattern as the straps. It was a beautiful, elegant dress. It was perfect.

"You found my dress", I repeated still amazed by what was in front of me.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me into the shop immediately. He walked up to the girl that was working there and asked for the dress, as she scanned him up and down blushing in the process. I swear every single female that had any contact with him instantly turned into a needy mess. I didn't get it, well, I did get that he was gorgeous, charming and all sorts of sexy, but their reaction seemed a bit over the top. And this happened when he wasn't even trying to flirt or seduce them. I can't say I didn't admire his looks and brains, I did, a lot, but damn it was like he had every single lady out there under a spell.

"And the bag and shoes that go with it", he added before the girl disappeared to get what he asked for.

"I don't even want to know how much it all costs", I whispered to Adrian as we waited, deciding to ignore the fact that the entire working staff in the shop has turned to look at him, guys included, "But I'm not leaving this shop without that dress."

" _I am_ not leaving this shop without that dress", he chuckled fixing me with an excited look.

The girl came back with the dress, a small black handbag with a silver metal flower and black heels. I took everything from her and headed to the dressing rooms looking over my shoulder to see if Adrian was following. He was looking in the other direction, somewhere outside the shop, but he glanced at me and said: "Go ahead. I already know it will fit you and I don't want to ruin my own surprise for the event. Beside I need to go run an errand real fast. I'll be back by the time you're done paying."

"Unless you changed your mind about me paying for the dress you had to get because I'm forcing you to go to that event?", he added returning to our argument from the car.

"Nope. Go ahead and finish that errand", I answered with a smile as I slipped behind the door of the changing room.

He wasn't lying about making it back in time. He was waiting for me outside the shop when I walked out with three bags in my hands. He reached out snatching the bags from my grasp as he demanded: "I'll take that."

"Such a gentleman", I responded giggling.

"Go ahead and mock me Lazar, but chivalry is on the endangered species list these days", he quipped giving me a charming smile before asking, "So where to now?"

"Are you hungry?"

"I could eat", he answered.

I glanced at my watch, realizing we were really cutting it short here. All the shops were closing in like five minutes. That's what you get shopping in a mall on a non-human schedule. It also meant we were definitely not going to be able to stuff ourselves with fast-food goods from the restaurants within the mall. I pondered on our next destination as we walked out into the night, Adrian patiently waiting for me to make up my mind. Finally, an idea popped into my head and I smiled excited to make the suggestion.

"Then I'm taking you to a very special place, a bit closer to Court."

"The wilderness?", he joked referring to the thick woods and empty fields stretching for miles around the Court.

I guess wilderness was something we needed to surround every establishment of our world with in order to keep the humans away from our business. Many found it exasperating to be cut off from the actual civilization, but I found it rather calming. Perhaps, because I was already having trouble being under the pressure and the watchful eye of the Royals at Court, so the last thing I wanted was to be even more restrained from my natural behavior because of some curious humans. I liked going out into the world, truly, but sometimes it was nice to just hide behind high walls and be yourself when you are home.

"Not that close", I chuckled, "We are going to Stroudsburg."

"I'm sorry what?", he asked frowning, "What the hell is Stroud-whatever?"

"It's a town", I said opening the trunk and moving so Adrian can put the bags inside of it.

"Huh, so why are we going to Stroubur?"

"Stroudsburg", I corrected him slamming the trunk shut, "Like I said, I'm taking you somewhere special."

Thirty minutes later we arrived to our destination and as I parked the car Adrian cast a look through the window questioning my choice in confusion: "A pizza place?"

"Not, just any pizza place", I explained, "This is the place my father used to take me to every time the Court life became a bit too much to handle for the both of us. It was our runaway place."

"Oh", he answered smiling, "Well Lady Lazar I'll be honored to eat pizza in this special place of yours."

"You better be", I joked winking at him.

Ones our order was taken Adrian leaned back biting his lower lip until he finally said: "Can I ask you something? It might be a bit sensitive, but I-."

"Ask away", I cut in feeling more at ease than I have ever been since I was turned back.

This place felt more like home to me than any other place lately. I loved everything about it, how small and private it was, the wonderful smell of the food being prepared behind the green, white and red door of the kitchen, the old letter booths and wooden tables, the tacky decorations all around. If just felt safe, the familiarity of it all.

"When you talked about your, um, dad when we were in your house", Adrian mumbled, "You said, you said your mom died."

Once upon a time this topic would have made me cry in an instant, but it's been so long since I lost my mom and I had no memories of her to begin with so I just simply said: "Yeah."

"What happened?", he asked carefully, his voice gentle and sincere.

"She, ugh, she was killed. Strigoi. It's a long story", I blurted out leaning on the table.

"I've got time", Adrian prompted before he quickly added, "If you want to tell me."

I breathed in as I fixed his eyes. I don't know how I could tell, but I knew he wasn't asking for this story out of curiosity, he was asking because he wanted me to share my more than obvious burned with him. It touched me. He was such a wonderful person. So I nodded as I said: "My mom was, well, from what my dad told me a very good and kind person. She had a hard life, she wasn't from any Royal family and she worked her ass off to achieve things, nothing was ever handed to her on a silver platter. She lost her parents when she was young, I think it was a car accident or something mundane like that and she has been alone for most of her life. When my dad met her she was actually applying for a job in his company. He said it was love at first sight."

Our food arrived so I paused the story, thanking the waitress before I continued as Adrian eagerly listened: "Long story shorter, they dated, got married, moved in to that house at Court and had me. And then something changed. My dad never quiet understood it, but he said that my mom would get really depressed, distant and anxious often. The doctors said it was normal, depression after child birth happens, in some case the symptoms are stronger, that it will pass. After a while, just as she was getting better, my dad had to go on a business trip. She assured him everything will be fine so he left her and asked uncle Eugen to check in on her. The first night she was alone with me I, well, I just started crying and I wouldn't stop. I think I had a fever or something and I was howling like a siren and she got so, I don't know upset maybe, annoyed, she probably just wanted a timeout. So she called Eugen and told him to come to the house to look after me while she goes to the store. But she didn't go to the store, she got into her car and she drew until she was far away from Court. She just wanted to take a walk, get some fresh air. But she picked a wrong night, wrong place and wrong time. She was alone and she got attacked by a Strigoi that somehow winded up there and I guess that's it."

Silence fell over the table as Adrian studied me before saying: "I'm sorry."

"Yeah me too", I mumbled staring into my plate.

"You do know it wasn't your fault though, right?", Adrian questioned me getting me to look up at him again.

"Can you read minds?", I finally asked him now really getting freaked out by his continues guessing of my thoughts.

"No", he chuckled, "I'm just good at reading people I guess. Plus I know the look."

"The look?"

"Yeah the, ah, if only I hadn't done that look. I saw it too many damn times in the mirror."

I smiled as Adrian picked up a piece of pizza and placed it on my plate: "It's not your fault. Don't ever blame yourself for any of it. Now, eat your food before it gets cold."

"You are very bossy", I commented laughing.

"You don't know the half of it woman."

And just like that the sad and depressing topic was gone and replaced by Adrian's mouthful moaning about how amazing the pizza is. We talked about light things later on, joking around and laughing. On our way back home, we cracked up the stereo and sang our asses of bursting into laughter every time one of us would mess up the lyrics our sing off-key. It was still amazing to me how easy it was to relax and actually have fun with Adrian around. He made everything seem like a piece of cake and well in those moments spent with him I somehow managed to forget the fact that everything in my life was still a mess. Even though we met not so long ago, it seemed like we already knew each other for years, actually it felt like we've known each other our entire lives.

" _Careful Emilia, the spark you are feeling could be dangerous, deadly even",_ a whisper at the back of my mind voiced.

It wasn't just me thinking to myself. It was it, the voice was back. I swallowed hard gripping the wheel tight as I blinked a few times trying to focus on driving and ignore what was happening. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I just thought I heard it again.

" _You are so not wrong."_

" _Oh, no, not you again!"_

Shit! I glanced briefly at Adrian who was staring out the window yelling the lyrics to "Highway to Hell" at the top of his lungs, unaware of what was going on in my head.

" _Hey friend, I missed you",_ the voice sang as I felt an urge to slam my head against the dashboard to make it go away, _"Come on, don't be mean. Haven't you missed me too?"_

" _Please leave me the hell alone."_

" _Ha, did you really think it will be that easy? That you can just go back to a normal life? You are never-."_

"You okay?", Adrian asked touching my hand gently and the moment his fingers touched my skin it was like the voice just went puff.

"How did you do that?", I exclaimed before I could stop myself.

"Do what?", he asked oblivious to what I was referring to.

"Nothing", I mumbled.

For a second he looked like he might pursue the answer further, but then he just continued singing screaming out in high-pitched voice, like he was purposefully trying to be as bad at it as possible. I laughed again as he wiggled his eyebrows and winked without missing a beat before I focused back on the road.

My mind did, however, split it's attention, registering the fact that my hand still felt tingly and warm where Adrian's fingers grazed it. I tried telling myself that, perhaps, it was because the air flying in through the open window made me cold so any touch would warm my skin up or maybe it was me sensing the Spirit within him, but I knew damn well I was just making dumb excuses. I don't know what it was about Adrian that kept pulling me in, but I knew it was getting harder and harder to resist it. _I was just like any other girl around him, falling under the spell._ Maybe the voice in my head was right, that spark could be more dangerous than I thought.

* * *

 **Chapter song: Bonfire Hearth - James Blunt**


	14. CH14 - Crave You

**POV: Emilia**

The rest of the week was pretty much a blur. I was constantly wrapped up in the renovation work of my house and the rest of my time was usually spent in the company of constantly cheerful Adrian. I never asked him to come over, never invited him out, never requested anything, but he was just there. He wasn't intrusive, actually, he always seemed to appear right when I was in the mood and need for a friend. Finally, the weekend came and along with it the famous event. Adrian promised to pick me up so I wouldn't have face scrutinizing stares of other Royals alone, yet another kind thing he offered for no obvious reason.

I spent about two hours washing my hair, drying it, curling it, picking it up into a bun allowing a couple of curly strands to stay loose and getting dressed. I don't remember the last time I put so much effort into my looks. I guess I did it all because I was beyond nervous. Finally, just as I was finishing up with my eyeliner, drawing a cat eye shape, I heard a knock on the door. I hurried to great Adrian, pulling the door wide open and finding him casually standing in front his hands stuffed into his pockets as he waited.

It was safe to say he looked hot as hell. He was wearing a black tux underneath his knee length black coat and his tie head barely visible silver pattern the color matching my dress. His shoes were the fanciest I've seen on him so far. His hair was, as always, perfectly arranged into a mess and his eyes seemed a bit more hypnotizing than usual.

"Wow, Lord Ivaskov you clean up nicely", I observed stepping back to let him in.

He didn't move straight away. He still stood outside the door his face in awe. He scanned me up and down in a way that sent shivers down my spine, before he, with a deathly serious expression still lingering on his face, commented: "I knew that dress would fit perfectly."

"What can I say, you are my fashion guru then", I answered trying to lighten up the obvious tension.

He didn't even blink upon my comment as he finally walked in without taking his eyes off of me.

"I'm almost done", I said turning away so he wouldn't see me blush.

I swiftly packed my bag, picked up my short coat and turning to him again asked: "Ready to go?"

"Not quite yet", he answered putting his hand in the pocket of his coat before he ordered, "Turn around and close your eyes."

When I didn't move he added: "Trust me."

I did as he asked. I felt him walk up to stand right behind me and moments later something cold touched my chest and my neck. The cold was easy to ignore when his warm fingers lightly grazed my neck.

"Open", he whispered.

As I opened my eyes I met his in the mirror in front of me and man I almost fainted. Reluctantly averting my gaze from the green ocean I looked down realizing the cold thing I felt was a tin and silver chain of a necklace. On it hung a pendant made out of two hearts. One was a beautiful, full, shiny amethyst the same color of my eyes and the other was a silver heart shaped frame lying on top of it. It was mesmerizing. I fought to find the right words as I stammered: "Adrian I, I-."

"Love it", he cut in smiling, "It's your welcome back to Court gift."

"This must have cost-."

"Probably not nearly as much as that dress", he insisted.

"You shouldn't have-."

"No, no. I was just doing my honorable duty as your fashion guru, because that dress was in a need of a matching accessory", he broke in again.

"Will you please let me finish a sentence?", I asked turning around to face him.

He made a motion like he was zipping his mouth shut, frowning slightly, probably bracing himself for a tantrum. I leaned in and placed a small kiss on his cheek taking him completely by surprise. As I pulled back I whispered: "Thank you."

"You're welcome", he said his voice low and strained for some reason, before he stepped back, offering me his hand as he added: "My Lady shall we?"

 **POV: Rose**

I mostly hated events like this one. No scratch that, I completely hated events like this one. But the thing I hated even more were these parts, parts when Lissa was greeting countless obnoxious, stuck-up, ass kissing Royals one by one. Those parts officially qualified as absolutely the most boring moments of my life.

I shifted my weight from one foot to another keeping the straight-faced expression required of me as a guardian, but all I wanted to do was roll my eyes and tell them all to fuck the hell off. I tuned out, not bothering to listen to anything anyone around me was saying until I felt someone brush my hand. I turned my head to the side seeing Dimitri who still had his eyes glued to Lissa's and Christian's backs, but his lips twitched, just a little, barely noticeable as I scanned his face. We didn't exchange any words, but I knew what that little secret smile meant. If he could speak he'd say _"hold on, it's almost over"_. I brushed my finger against his in return before dragging my eyes back to the row ahead.

Just as I thought I couldn't take anymore without strangling myself, my evening got drastically improved as I felt drama creeping in. Drama was the only interesting part of any Royal event, well at least to me it was. The attention they drew to themselves as they walked in was admirable and it was there for a good reason. Emilia's hand was wrapped around Adrian's and boy they were quite a scene. They looked perfect and glamorous, like they walked off of a front page of a fashion magazine. They made everyone's head turn. I could hear people whispering comments all around us, but they both acted like they didn't notice. They graciously walked up to the end of the line and patiently waited for their turn. As they reached us they bowed in movie like fashion. Lissa nodded, letting a little smile slip by. They didn't say anything, probably because they didn't want to add to Lissa's never ending work. I watched them disappear into the crowd and then cast a look towards Dimitri. He was watching them as well, but not in the same way everybody else did. There was a very visible frown on his face and a glint in his eyes that screamed disapproval. I felt a panic wave rise in me, like the one I had the last time he had that look. He kept telling me he had no romantic feelings for Emilia whatsoever, but there was this lump in my throat every time he laid eyes on her. _You need to trust him Rose, he always trusted you_ , I thought. But why was it this freaking difficult?

I looked away trying to calm my nerves. Just then Lissa was finally done, which meant it was time to mingle. That might keep my attention fixed. I swear I never thought the day would come when I would accept listening to stupid chitchat of those same boring Royals with open arms. But I guess everything was better than thinking about Dimitri's potential feeling towards his ex.

 **POV: Adrian**

I remerged from the crowed with two glasses of Champagne only to find Emma on the verge of committing suicide. It took me second to realize she was talking to Dorian Voda. _No wonder she looked so miserable_.

"- it is quite fascinating to me still that there are no consequences", he finished up what he was saying taking a sip from his glass.

"Consequences?", I asked handing Emma her drink.

She gratefully took it and for a second it seemed like she might down the whole thing at once, but after she took a big gulp she placed the glass on the table next to her and continued her play of the polite Lady Lazar, who was eager to immerse into a conversation with her fellow Royals. Knowing her, she probably wanted to gouge his eyes out for sticking his nose into her business so shamelessly.

"Well her change into her old form of course", he voiced in fake astonishment.

 _Time to mess around with people,_ I devilishly thought as I grinned. Emma was looking at me and she must have read my intentions from my expression or aura since she made a terrified expression and signalized me to stop by shaking her head in panic.

"You are joking right?", I exclaimed ignoring Emma's futile attempts.

"I beg your pardon?", Dorian asked almost chocking on his drink.

"You should see the bite marks on my neck, she is a beast", I continued as another warning flashing in Emma's eyes.

Dorian's face went so pale I thought he might faint right there and then. Emma started laughing loudly, but I knew the laugh was as fake as they get. She hooked her hand around my arm and discretely punched me with her elbow as she chuckled: "He is such a comedian. Will you excuse us?"

"Of course", he stammered nodding.

I kept smiling as I winked at Dorian, his face relaxing as he made a terrible attempt to smile back. Emma used the hold she had on my arm to basically dragged me away and towards the other end of the ballroom. Once we were far enough away from him she turned her head towards me and whispered angrily: "Are you insane?"

"Seriously you need to stop asking me that", I joked as she glared at me, "Come on, it was worth it. The horror on his face was just plainly ridiculous."

She couldn't stop her mouth from twitching upwards into a small smile as she blurted out: "You are not helping."

"I never promised I would", I answered as the music playing in the room suddenly changed. Before she could say anything else I bowed and lifting my hand saying: "Might I ask this beautiful Lady for a dance?"

"I'm not that good at it. I didn't pay much attention during dance classes."

"Well luckily for you I did", I prompted as she reluctantly took my hand and allowed me to gently pull her towards the dance-floor, "Come on Lazar, it's past time I show you my killer moves."

 **POV: Emilia**

It wasn't just one dance. It was countless. Adrian spun me around the dance-floor for what seemed like hours. And he wasn't kidding about his killer moves. He was an amazing dancer. But his dance moves were not what kept me on edge the entire time. It was the warmth off his hand on my back and how low he kept it, nothing inappropriate, but not by the rules either. It was his closeness, how intoxicating his perfume mixed with his scent was. It was the way his lips were so close to mine. The way his eyes and their gaze made my legs feel weak.

As yet another song ended he finally pulled me away from the dance-floor. I was trying to catch my breath when he suddenly suggested: "Do you want to go for a walk?"

I just nodded and allowed him to stir me away towards the exit. We pulled our coats on and went out into the cold night. We walked through the gardens, only occasionally passing some residents. We walked in circles, so somehow we managed to end up in the garden just next to the ballroom. It was my favorite one when I was a kid, because it had a fountain with a fake river and a small bridge over it. I strolled over to the bridge and climbed on top of it with Adrian right behind me. My feet were starting to hurt so I leaned on the fence, partially sitting on it. Adrian did the same leaning on the opposite side. The bridge was so small my legs ended up between his.

"This night was actually kind of fun", I commented looking up at the sky.

It was clear of clouds and filled with dazzling stars. They made us look so small, didn't they? I always enjoyed watching them, thinking how far away from us they truly are, whether they are still there or were we just seeing a glow they sent out before disappearing. I looked back down meeting Adrian's gaze. He was watching me while I was lost in my thoughts and I caught a glimpse of something I would call an admiring look, if I didn't know any better, before he swiftly changed his expression into his usual relaxed smile. I blinked seeing the stars still dance behind my eyelids and as Adrian pulled out a cigarette from his coat, lighting it up while mumbling: "Of course it was fun Lazar, you were with me."

"I could get used to it."

"Being with me?"

"No", I answered laughing, "Living here again."

"Damn it", he teased as he puffed out a cloud of smoke that twirled around, melting into the breaths we both let past are lips that came out as little clouds themselves from the cold air, "And there I was thinking I've won your heart."

 _You did,_ I thought. My own thought scared me a little so I was quick to form a response as I teased him: "Better luck next time."

"So there will be a next time then?", he questioned his eyebrow shooting up.

"Maybe", I whispered afraid I might be entering dangerous tides with my words.

"Oh, come on Lazar, you are killing me here", he shouted dramatically his voice echoing slightly around the empty and quiet space around us.

I couldn't decide where he was going with this. Was he just fooling around? Was there-? No there can't be any seriousness to his words. It just can't. It was a joke. I felt a nervous chuckle rise in my throat as I blurted out: "Adrian there are plenty of young, eager Ladies around here. I'm sure they are all throwing their hearts at your feet. Shouldn't you be spending your time charming _them_ to death?"

"Sure, but you see my problem is right here", he said still smiling, but his eyes fell slightly.

"I don't see it", I answered frowning as he threw away his cigarette, watching it flow away in the little river.

Just as I was about to scold him for trashing the most beautiful garden in court, he straightened up, pushing himself off of the fence like he was about to take off. But instead he leaned over to me placing his hands on the railing around me. He ended up very close to me, paralyzing me with his gaze. His smile disappeared completely now, his face set in a rather serious expression as he almost whispered: "Those hearts are not the ones I want."

I couldn't breathe. I seriously couldn't do it, since I've momentarily forgotten how to do it. All thoughts slipped out of my mind, all but the thoughts of his eyes, the lines of his face, the smell of his perfume, the slow and steady sound of his breathing, the brush of his arms against mine as he gripped the railing tight in his hands, waiting for me to break the silence. Waiting for me to except that it wasn't a joke, that it was exactly what I initially thought it was, it was what I wanted it to be. It was an invitation. A special kind. My lips quivered as I found the strength to whisper back: "Adrian, remember when you said I could ask anything of you if I went to this thing?"

"Yes", he answered his voice still low.

"Can I ask for that favor now?", I questioned as my heart threatened to jump out of my chest and start running around the place.

"What do you want?", he asked carefully.

I think that was the moment the small spark I felt for days turned into a fire, because the next thing I said was: "Kiss me."

He didn't move, he just locked his eyes with mine and I could see it, clear as day, ladies and gentleman, Adrian Ivashkov was lost. He obviously didn't really think this through. He went for it probably thinking I'd never actually say yes to it, all of it. He probably thought the same thing I did, that the other side was only interested in being friends. But we both knew now, the truth was there and I found myself placing my hands on his coat, pulling him so his mouth was inches away from mine as I repeated: "Kiss me."

In the moment his lips touched mine my world exploded. I've had enough kisses to measure this one up to, some were horrible some were amazing, but this one, this was mind-blowing. His lips were warm and gentle, but he kissed me with such intensity I could feel mine pulsing against his. His hands went to all the right places, sliding up and down, digging into my hair, slipping over my neck pressing on my artery as it jumped up from my fast beating heart, traveling over my breasts, my sides, lower then up against the small of my back and right back where they started, all of it so light, so brief, but enough to make my feet feel weak. As he moved his body winded up so close, touching mine in every physically possible spot. And his body, good God, it was close to perfection. I let my hands wonder, explore, earning a happy hum from Adrian. His breath, the feeling of his tongue as he slid it over and the little nib of his teeth now and then, all of it on my lips, I thought it will melt me away.

At some point I became aware of the fact that he lifted me up slightly pushing me back on the railing. A gasp escaped me as I instinctively grabbed it for balance and he stopped our kiss, pulling his head back just a little. I wanted to protest, ask why he stopped, but he leaned his forehead against mine fixing me with his eyes as he breathed out: "Do you trust me?

"Ye-, yes", I stammered out trying to get some control over my lungs.

"Trust me", he repeated confusing me.

But a second later I understood exactly what he was asking. I uncurled my fingers letting go of my hold on the wood and metal bellow me. I let my arms slide over his hands and around his neck. He held me and he wasn't letting go. I trusted him, completely, I had no reason not to. He's more than proven himself to me over the time we've spent together. If he was anyone else, it would have taken him double to time to even begin to earn my trust, but he was special. Adrian Ivashkov was very special.

He pushed me up even more so I was basically hanging over the edge. It wasn't high, even if I fell I wouldn't really injure myself that much, but the whole situation had an entire different meaning to me. It meant I let him in. He knew that. He smiled, one of those charming smiles I've been seeing a lot lately. I moved my legs, sliding them apart enough to let him come closer to me again. His hand traveled to my neck pulling my head back to his as his other one wrapped around me holding me tight. His lips were back on mine in a heartbeat and I was lost. All of a sudden I didn't care about the Court, the Royals, my house, being Strigoi, the voices, the cold air around me, the pain in my feet from those damn high heels, the fact that my dress was inappropriately riding up my legs as we moved together, or that somebody could see us, that perhaps we were moving too fast, that it was mad to think I could feel this way about someone I've known for a relatively short time, that I actually knew him already like the back of my hand despite that. None of it mattered anymore. It was just the two of us, just him holding me in his arms. Until something ripped him away.

* * *

 **Chapter song:** **Crave you - Flight Facilities (The Adventure club dubstep remix is awesome)**

 **If you were wondering, the neckless Adrian gave to Emma is actually the one from the cover of this story!**


	15. CH15 - One Step Closer

**POV: Adrian**

I realized something was wrong the moment my body jerked backwards flying off of the bridge. I knew something was _really_ wrong when Emma's warm, gentle hands got replaced by a strong grip dragging me away. And when somebody's fist connected with my face I knew I was screwed.I stumbled upon the impact barely managing to stay on my feet as the grip on the collar of my coat tightened. My vision was all screwy from the blow and I could hear ringing in my ears so Emma's voice seemed distant as she shouted: "Let him go."

"You son of a bitch" I heard somebody yell into my ear in a strong accent and as my focus became normal again I saw a very angry Russian right in front of my face fixing me with a deathly glare, "I knew it, this whole time, this is what you've been planning."

I registered Emma running towards us as he lifted his fist again. She jumped on him grabbing him by his elbow, trying to pull his hand back with all her strength as she ordered: "Mitya let him go this instant."

Naturally, she didn't move him in a slightest, but at least she managed to stop him from hitting me again. I tried pulling away from him, but his grip was so strong I ended up ripping out of my coat and falling to the ground. He tossed my coat away, looking at me like he might lift me up and squish me with his bare hands when Emma shifted her body so she ended up between the two of us. I scrambled to my feet and did my best to stand up as straight as I could.

"What the hell is wrong with you?", she screamed at him.

"What's wrong with me is that that piece of shit was all over you the minute he saw a good opportunity. Did he force himself on you?"

"No, Mitya, Jesus! Why the hell would you think something like that?"

"I told you the resentment was mutual", I muttered pulling my tousled shirt down while picking up my coat.

"You need to stay away from her", he shouted while pointing his index finger towards me.

"Is that a threat?", I asked never letting the smirk on my face leave.

"No. If you don't stay away from her I'm going to break every bone in your body. Now that's a threat."

"Oh that's rich coming from you", I scoffed dusting off my coat before pulling it back on.

"What is that supposed to mean?", he growled.

"You get to steal my girlfriend, but I don't get to take yours?", I retorted cringing slightly at my own words, while managing to piss him off again, enough that he almost knocked Emma over trying to get to me.

This time though, she somehow winded up pushing him back, because apparently she was even more pissed than he was. In fact she was furious, her voice ice-cold as she spat through gritted teeth: "Dimitri Belikov if you don't stop right now I'll be the one breaking bones around here."

"Why are you protecting him?", he exclaimed transferring his focus to her.

"Why are you attacking him?"

"I'm trying to protect you."

"Well stop trying!"

"Fine, if you want-", he began saying before ending his sentence with something in his mother tongue.

I knew enough of basic Russian words to know that what he said to her was very unpleasant. Even if I didn't know those words her reaction would have made a pretty good translation since the next thing she did was slap him with all her might. And that happened in the exact moment three people joined the show. Lissa, Christian and Rose all froze in their tracks, trying to assess the situation before them.

"You asshole-", she fumed and that was pretty much the last thing I understood, because what followed was a string of rapid and extremely furious Russian. Emma screamed at Dimitri at the top of her lungs and whatever she was saying seemed to have the wanted affect because halfway through it Dimitri started recoiling.

"What the hell is going on?", Rose tried cutting in, but failed miserable since neither of them paid any attention to any of us.

Dimitri just stood there, blinking in shock as Emma barely stopped to take in a breath screaming her vocal cords soar. And that's when I felt it. It was like the air temperate around us dropped a couple of degrees in a nanosecond. My body cringed on its own, like I was trying to get away from something, something dark, something evil. I heard Lissa gasp and I knew she could feel it too. She backed away so fast she almost knocked both Christian and Rose down, in the same moment I realized I was moving forward even though every instinct in my mind told me not to.

"Emma that's enough", I stammered feeling that darkness grow stronger the closer I got to her.

She ignored me, but switched to English continuing her ranting: "It's none of your business, what I do and who I do it with. You moved on, I'm doing the same."

"Emilia stop", I tried again with a harsher voice reaching out to her, my hand shaking as I touched her shoulder.

"You don't get to decide anything anymore when it comes to my life", she screamed as I pulled her back wrapping my hands around her.

She tried shaking me off, but she only ended up turning around in my arms. She attempted to push me away pressing her palms against me as she growled: "Let me go!"

"Stop", I repeated trying to calm her down.

It was safe to say I didn't succeed since she only curled her hands into fists and started pounding on my chest franticly repeating: "Let me go, let me go, LET ME GO!"

I felt the energy build up inside of her, that darkness that was hovering above us plunging down and covering us whole. Her breaths came out harsh, her words beginning to break up as she kept rambling. She was losing it and I didn't know how to stop it so I did the only thing that for some reason made sense to me in that moment. I kissed her was a very different kiss then the one we shared before. It wasn't fueled by hunger and passion, but by fear and a desperate need to help her. I pulled back quickly, since I didn't want to make even more fuss than there already was, feeling the temperature rise back up and the darkness slowly fading away, until it was gone completely. She looked up at me in shock, blinking a few times, like a person waking up from a trance, like she had no idea what happened and how she ended up here.

"Emma?", I whispered afraid that the darkness might come back if she gets upset again.

She opened her mouth to say something, but the movement of her eyelids became slower as she opened and closed them, her body started melting against my hands as her legs began shaking and that's when she collapsed.

 **POV: Emilia**

I woke up to Adrian's worried face hovering over me. I heard a blipping sound of a machine which led me to conclude rather fast that I was back in the medical wing. He's eyes ran across my face, before going back to meet mine as he asked: "How are you feeling?"

"I've been better", I admitted frowning as I pushed against the bed to pull myself up, "What happened?"

"How much do you remember?", he questioned stepping back to give me some space.

I leaned back rubbing my temple with my wrist since I could feel it pounding. Perhaps I hit my head when I fell down. _Did I fall down?_ I remember fainting. But my head was hurting even before I blacked out. _When did the headache start?_ It was like there were these tiny fragments of my memory missing. When I realized Adrian was still waiting I just blurted out the things I did remember: "We kissed, Dimitri punched you, we started fighting, I was mad, like really mad and then-."

"And then I kissed you again and you ever said Adrian Ivashkov can't knock a girl off of her feet with his charm was deadly wrong", he quipped, but I could still see uneasiness in his eyes.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me", I mumbled busying myself by straightening out the nonexistent wrinkles on my sheets so I wouldn't have to look at him.

I felt so embarrassed. He must think I'm a freak now. Well, I am a freak, but I was doing a solid job at hiding it so far. Before I could dwell on what was going through his head at the moment, he spoke up: "I do. It was the Spirit, or rather whatever is opposite from it. It was dark Emma, really dark."

I shivered. I knew there was no run away from it, but for a second I hoped that I could if I tried really, really hard. I forced myself to look up at him again as I whispered: "You are probably right. I-, I have to tell you something, but you can't tell anyone."

He was wordless and expressionless for a few moments before he finally exhaled and nodded his face showing evident signs of attention directed at me. I knew that, even if he didn't explicitly say it, he was still going to keep his mouth shut, because that's who he is. I pushed myself to continue despite the fact that my mind was telling me that once I cross this line with him there is no going back: "Remember how I told you I started hearing voices since that night Ava and I got attacked? Well, I'm hearing them again."

Adrian didn't seem nearly as surprised as he should. He actually seemed way to calm for someone who just learned that the girl whose heart he allegedly wanted was so crazy she was hearing nonexistent voices inside of her head. Instead of running for the hills he turned around so he could sit on the edge of my bed and glanced at me as he commented: "That explains a lot."

"What do you mean?", I asked still a bit dumbfounded by his demeanor.

"Well, as creepy as this might sound, I've been studying your aura lately and I noticed something rather strange. Every Spirit user has some darkness in them, but yours is different, it seems to be expanding. Like every day a bit of it slips in. I just can't figure out where it's coming from."

"That's comforting", I mumbled smiling bitterly, "I don't feel it though. Not really. I mean I can feel a bit overwhelmed at times, you know by strange emotions or urges, like tonight, I felt the urge to hurt someone. I was aware of it, but I couldn't do anything to make it go away and honestly, I don't think I even wanted to. It's like somebody has completely taken over my mind and body and I was just there to see it unfold. I don't know what to do about any of it."

"For now, I think the best course of action is for you to start taking some antidepressants until you stabilize a bit", Adrian suggested trying to give me a cheerful smile, "Maybe it's just the aftermath, you know like a slow recovery from your change back into your normal self. Perhaps it will pass if you just give it a bit time. And if not, we can, I don't know, maybe do some research or run some tests to try to see what's going on behind the curtain."

"Tests? That sound like fun. You are right about the antidepressants though, but I could also just spend more time with you", I blurted out before I could stop myself.

He looked at me confused, so I figured it can't be worse than it already has and added: "I rarely hear them when I'm near you."

"That's good", he responded his smile widening.

"And-", I drawled blushing slightly even before I could finish my line of thoughts.

"And what?", he prompted when I let my voice trail off.

"I would like to spend more time with you so you can sweep me off of my feet again", I finished shyly preparing for the worst possible outcome since, seriously, why would my luck turn for the better now?

"It that so?", he chuckled.

"Unless you changed your mind about wanting my heart now that you know that I'm batshit crazy."

"Yeah, those other young, egger Ladies are looking really good right about now", he teased laughing loudly.

"Traitor", I giggled not being able to stop myself from grinning like an idiot from the happiness that instantly filled me when I realized the universe decided to surprise me after all.

He leaned over and placed a gentle peck on my lips. When he leaned back he looked into my eyes like he could see my very soul in them and whispered: "Don't worry. It takes a lot more than craziness to make me run for my life."

"And you keep claiming you are sane. I seriously beg to differ."

He just gave me one more cordial smile before he got up and added: "I'll go see if you can get discharged, so I can take you home."

"You know, I don't know where home is anymore", I confessed frowning slightly.

"Since you're in the need of my company, mi casa estu casa", he prompted bowing theatrically and gesturing towards the wall like his house was right behind it.

It made me laugh, he always made me laugh. I had no idea how he managed to make me feel like a completely different person when he was around. How he could so easily switch from talking about my obviously twisted brain to my housing without a pause in between. It was one of the many reasons I like him so much. I really like him a lot. He got under my skin so fast my head was spinning.

"Woah, already moving in together, what's next marriage and kids?"

"Hey, I'm the comedian in this relationship", he exclaimed.

"Is that what this is? A relationship?", I asked my heart jumping as I felt all warm and fuzzy.

"It is if you want it to be", he answered an honest smile on his face.

"I'd like that very much."

"That makes the two of us", he declared before walking out.

As soon as the door closed behind him, I heard that voice again: _You barely know him and you're already throwing yourself in his arms. Pathetic._

 _Oh, shut up bitch!_

 **POV: Rose**

"Roza, what are you doing?", Dimitri's confused voice came from behind me.

"I'm staying with Lissa tonight", I answered angrily stuffing my clothes into the duffel bag on the bed.

"Roza-."

"No!", I yelled turning around, "I don't want to fight. I don't want to distrust you. I just don't want any off it. I need you to sort things out in your head. I want you to be certain that every time you say you don't have feelings for Emilia you actually mean it. If you want this to work you need to decide what you want, on your own, like I did when I was the one choosing between the two men that I loved. It's not a hard decision, because your heart knows, you just have to really stop and listen to it."

I turned back towards the bed and zipped the bag up. Tossing it over my shoulder I walked up to Dimitri. I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him swiftly. His eyes were sad, he seemed heartbroken. He didn't try to fight me though. He respected my wishes as always. Still he probably couldn't help himself, but to at least try to stop me from walking away.

"Roza, don't go", he whispered against my lips.

His pleading voice almost made me drop my bag and change my mind. Almost. But I pushed myself to be strong and to stick to my decision cause it was the right thing to do. I was doing what needed to be done and despite not liking it I had to stick to it, for us, for me. My voice shook slightly as I pushed the words out of my mouth: "I have to. This doesn't mean I'm leaving for good. Just take the night and think things through."

Gathering up all the strength left within me I walked passed him and opened the door. I turned around before leaving and added: "I'll see you tomorrow. Good night."

"Good night Roza", I heard him say his voice breaking too.

I hurried out before I broke down in front of him, since I knew he would for sure make me stay then. As soon as I was behind the closed door I let the tears I was holding back roll down my cheeks freely. _You got the guy and your happily ever after_ , was something Adrian said to me a while back and it that moment, despite it being a really awful moment, I actually rejoiced at the thought of that being true. But know, standing in this wretched hallway alone, staring at the door of the apartment next to ours, I couldn't help but to feel like I got cheated out of my happily ever after. _You might have been wrong Adrian_ , I thought, _I might have been wrong_.

* * *

 **Chapter song:** **One step closer - Linkin Park**


	16. CH16 - Holding On And Letting Go

**POV: Emilia**

I woke up to the sound of a guitar coming from the stereo downstairs. Rolling over to my back I blinked a couple of times in order to shake the rest of the sleepiness away. My night was rather calm. I remember having only one nightmare, so I felt decently rested, but still a bit groggy from the pill cocktail I took. Staring up at the ceiling I breathed in the scent of the covers around me. They smelled like Adrian. _This is where he sleeps, under these same covers,_ I thought as I felt my cheeks blushing.

Last night, after I got discharged, Adrian and I swung by my place to get some things and then came here. He insisted upon me sleeping in the bed and getting proper rest so he slept on the couch downstairs. I pondered on telling him he can sleep next to me, but we were already moving too fast so I decided against it. He offered to change the covers, but I told him not to bother. I was too tired anyway and I just wanted to get into bed as soon as possible. I was glad I made that decision now.

After I brushed my teeth and got dressed I headed downstairs. I could smell pancakes in the air and sure enough as I opened the kitchen door I found Adrian flipping one of them. He was singing along with the stereo and I realized pretty fast he was obviously faking bad singing when we went to the shopping trip. Just like dancing and painting, he was amazing at singing too. He was a man with many surprises up his sleeves. Speaking of sleeves, he didn't have any, actually he wasn't wearing anything but his pajama bottoms and slippers. I suddenly felt very warm as my blood rushed through my body. Seeing Adrian shirtless in the kitchen making pancakes was freaking hot.

He turned around in the middle of Hotel California's refrain and barely managed to catch the flying pancake since I obviously startled him. I blushed instantly knowing I was just caught in the act of drooling over him. He didn't seem to be ashamed of his underdressed state as he simply smiled while I quickly blurted out: "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"Don't sweat it. I'm glad you're up and running. Breakfast is almost done anyway", he answered turning back to the stove either oblivious to the fact I was hot and bothered or ignoring it on purpose. Whichever it was I was grateful he abstained himself from commenting.

"I love pancakes", I said sitting on the chair on one side of the small dining table.

"Everybody loves pancakes", he announced putting a plate full of them in front of me. He sat on the other chair and nudged me to dig in. We ate in silence for a while before he asked out of the blue: "What's next?"

"You mean after breakfast or in life?", I chuckled wiping my mouth with a napkin.

"Both."

"We drink coffee after breakfast", I stated avoiding the other part of the "both" thing. Soon enough though, when I didn't continue he prompted: "And in life?"

"Well, I was thinking of enrolling into College", I mumbled as Adrian looked at me with a dose of surprise so I added, "I used to go, back when, you know. That's something I would like to get back to."

"What Major?", he casually asked ripping a little piece from the edge of his pancake and stuffing it into his mouth.

"Psychology."

"Cool", he commented, "One question though, how are you going to afford it?"

"My dad left me a lot of money, like enough to live a very pleasing life without working a day for the rest of it. But that's not what I want."

"Of course it's not", Adrian said smiling as he got up and picked up our plates, "Luckily, you still have time to enroll in one of the Lehigh Colleges. I spoke to the administration the other day and they are still accepting students."

"Why did you-?"

"Because I wanted to do the same thing", he responded guessing the rest of my question, "I can't really spend the rest of my life wasting away and doing nothing."

"How very mature of you", I chuckled.

"I have those moments sometimes. Enjoy them while they last", he joked.

I helped him clean the dishes and make coffee before we sat in the living room and flipped through the channels on the TV for a while just talking about random things. When we were done with everything I got up announcing: "I should go check how the house works are coming along."

"Yeah, sure, I have a meeting with Lissa anyway", Adrian said getting up as well.

For a minute we just stood there, both waiting for the other one to say something or make a move. When nothing happened, I figured he probably didn't want to push any boundaries so I stepped up to him and kissed him. It was just a little peck on the lips since I too wasn't sure what I should do. When I pulled back I saw a small smile play on his lips before he reached up, placing his hand behind my head so he could draw me into another kiss. I parted my lips showing him I wasn't going anywhere so he dropped his hand to join his other one as they traveled around my waist. I wrapped my hands around his neck and melted into his embrace as he gently took my lower lip between his pulling on it just a little. _Damn this feels good._ I never wanted to stop, but I finally found myself moving away after a while as I breathed out: "If you keep kissing me like this you're going to be late for that meeting."

"Is that a promise?", he joked as I bit my lips nervously. He noticed that so he quickly said: "Right. Doing it slow."

He stepped away and repeated to himself "doing it slow" like he was trying to wire it into his brain. He reluctantly let go of me and a sigh escaped me as he did. It wasn't easy for me either. It totally went against my body wishes. As a matter of fact I wanted to jump his bones. _But if you do that now, it'll seem like you're with him just for the sex,_ my mind warned me. And I wanted more than just that. I think we both did. Or at least I hoped we both did.

Once we got out of his house he gave me another brief kiss before we parted ways. After I was done checking on the renovation process I realized I had no idea what to do next, so I strolled around the Court grounds and enjoyed a nice weather. Eventually I decided to go to my apartment and pick up a few more things. Half way to there I was so lost in my thoughts, that I almost had a heart attack when somebody placed a hand on my shoulder.

"I thought it was you", Oksana said as I turned to face her.

"Oksana, hey, I-", I let my voice trail off because I had no idea what to say to her.

I didn't see her since that night, because she was resting most of the time. I had no idea how to act around her. I didn't know her that well and I owed her my life so all of that made things kind of awkward.

"How are you feeling?", Oksana asked breaking the silence.

"Fine. Good. Um, you?"

"Better now. Mark's been taking good care of me since he arrived. We'll probably be going back to Russia soon."

"Good, that's good", I stammered nervously.

"Well, I should get going. I just wanted to say hello", she said preparing to walk away.

"Oksana, wait", I stopped her, "I wanted to tell you-."

"You don't have to. I already know what you want to say. I did what was right", she cut in determined, but with a warm smile still playing on her lips.

"You were brave enough to do it. So I'll say it, thank you. I'll never be able to thank you enough and repay you for what you did for me."

"You're welcome", she said excepting my gratitude with a nod, "And you can thank me by getting well and by patching things up with Dimka. I saw him this morning and he looked very-."

She didn't finish. She didn't have to. After last night I could only imagine how he felt. I knew I still felt this knot in my gut whenever I thought about the things we said to each other. I peered up at Oksana and whispered: "I will."

"Good", she confirmed before she reached out and took my hand squeezing it, "You take care and hopefully I'll see you again."

"You too", I said before she walked away.

When I was left alone again, I decided to go and look for Dimitri as soon as I was done picking up my stuff, but as I climbed the stairs of my building and looked up I realized my plans were about to be changed. He was there, knocking at my door.

"Hey", I said when he turned around with a look of surprise.

"Hello", he responded, a half smile on his face.

"I don't think that Lazar girl is home. And thank God for that, she makes too much noise", I joked pointing towards the door.

That made his smile spread wider, until it was completely replaced by a rather serious look as he asked: "Can we talk?"

I thought of inviting him in, but eventually opted for the safer option of surrounding ourselves with as much people as possible so he would have to keep any further outbursts quite. It was strange seeing him in this explosive state, since I was so used to his calm and reasonable personality. Also, more importantly, perhaps being surrounded by people will stop me from going from zero to a hundred again.

"Let me just get a few things and then we could go for a walk or something", I suggested.

"Take your time", he responded leaning against the hallway wall as I rushed inside.

I packed up as fast as I could and left the key to the maid since I no longer needed the apartment. Dimitri frowned when he saw me leaving the key behind, but he didn't make any comments straight away. As we walked out of the building he looked at my overly packed duffel bag and raised his eyebrow.

" _That's_ a few things?", he chuckled, "Are you moving out of the country?"

"As tempting as that might be, no, I'm not", I answered vaguely matching his pace, "I'll just be staying somewhere else until my house is done."

"Where will you be staying?", he prompted casually, but I could see his shoulder tensing up.

If it was anyone else asking me these questions I would just think of them as rude and I'd be annoyed by the fact that they're sticking their nose in my business, but this was Mitya. I knew he wasn't trying to pry. Despite of everything I still felt like I could tell him anything, like I could trust him. Sadly, I knew his reaction this time might not be the usual one so I barely managed to mutter: "At Adrian's place."

After that I refused to look at him, I just kept staring ahead waiting for the inevitable "boom". But it never came. He stayed silent until I could no longer resist casting my gaze his way. As his eyes met mine I could see the struggle he was going though and eventually that struggle led him to a defeated look and an unexpected question: "You like him?"

"Yes", I answered unsteadily uncertain where he was going with this.

"Why? I mean don't get me wrong, despite our disagreements, I still believe Adrian possess some redeeming qualities and he's obviously attractive to many women, but why do _you_ like him?"

"Because he is different ", I blurted out surprising even myself slightly since it was the first time I said it out loud, "He understands me, he doesn't judge me or pity me, he looks at me and I know he sees me for who I am, not for what I've been through. He makes me feel safe and he makes me forget about all of those things that roam through my head when I'm alone with my thoughts or dreaming."

When Mitya didn't respond I continued speaking so fast I thought I might faint from the lack of oxygen: "And he is smart, kind, gentle, funny, intuitive and as you pointed out very attractive, no scratch that, he is freaking hot as hell and for some unexplainable reason he seems to like me back."

I exhaled and stopped walking finally turning to Mitya. He was frowning and for a while seemed to be lost in his thoughts and the he eventually said: "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For what I did yesterday. It was wrong and it wasn't my place to decide anything for you. It's just that I-", his voice trailed off like he was uncertain how to finish his apology.

"Got used to it" I mumbled and then clearing my throat added, "You got used to protecting me and as much as I love that about you I don't need you to take care of me anymore Mitya. I need to try to live my life and you need to live yours."

"I thought I've learned how, to live it without you, but now I know I never did. I just buried the grief and longing and I pretended that hole in my heart wasn't there", he cried out running his hand through his hair like he might start pulling it off of his head.

"But you don't have to anymore. Can't you see that Mitya? You made a life for yourself, a beautiful life, the one you always wanted. Guarding someone you consider a friend, having your own place, being with an amazing girl who loves you very much. And all of that doesn't mean you'll lose me. You can share all of that with me. I'll just have a slightly different role in your life than we initially planned."

He smiled at my last words taking a hold of my hand. He brought it to his lips and placed a small, gentle kiss on top of it before he chuckled: "I've missed you so much малышка, you were always my voice of reason. And you're right, I love Roza very much, but it feels like I betrayed you by moving on, by falling in love again. It's like it means I didn't love you enough."

"But you did, you loved me more than life itself, I know that Mitya. I know you still love me and it's okay to love me and care for me, it doesn't mean you love Rose any less. It was completely normal for you to move on, I was dead. And I'm happy, I'm truly happy you found love again. I'm not saying Adrian is the one, I don't know that, but I'd like to try to find love with him if I can and I need you to be okay with that", I blurted out as he nodded, "You were my best friend once, can you be that again?"

In response he tugged on my arm and pulled me into a hug. I wrapped my arms around his neck remembering how tall he actually is when I winded up on my tiptoes before he wrapped his around my waist basically lifting me off of the ground. When he set me back down he ruffled my hair and smiled. Suddenly he squinted at me as he commented: "Your hair smells like pancakes."

After all the emotional ups and downs lately his comment seemed so funny I immediately burst into laughter. He did the same and man it was nice to hear him laugh again. At a certain point my stomach was hurting and tears appeared in the corners of his eyes.

"If you don't stop you might suffocate", Rose's voice came behind me.

I turned and found her standing a few feet away along with Adrian and Lissa. I figured that meeting they went to finished early. Rose wore a look on her face that seemed like she couldn't decide whether to be pissed off or happy, Lissa seemed curious and Adrian despite his frown seemed amused. I noticed Mitya watching Rose, worry radiating off of him so I uncomfortably mumbled: "Well now that we've established my hair smells like breakfast I should probably go wash it and luckily my roommate is here."

"So I'm a roommate now?", Adrian chuckled giving me a teasing look.

I felt bold so I walked up to him and gave him a big juicy kiss right on his lips and then responded: "And other things."

"Do you want to go get a coffee?", I heard Mitya whispering to Rose thankfully ignoring my exchange with Adrian.

Lissa however was grinning while she looked at us before Rose tugged her arm fixing her eyes as she waited for approval. Lissa nodded and smiled, giving her a sign she should go before she announced in a louder than needed voice: "Fellow Spirit Users I'd like to talk to you about something. Would you mind walking me to my place?"

We both took the cue and Adrian pounced on it matching her loudness as he exclaimed: "Your Majesty, it would be our honor."

Turning to Mitya I playfully punched his arm and teased: "See you later Captain brooding face."

It was an old joke we had and for a moment I thought he might not remember it, but then he answered: "You too Miss Pretentious."

We parted ways, but before they rounded a corner I saw Mitya catching Rose's hand. I thought she might push his away, but she just snuggled her hand in his like it was always meant to be there. I felt a smile spread across my face and it that very moment I felt Adrian's fingers touch mine. I looked down to our hands and imitated Rose's movement. I didn't expect it, but against all odds my hand fit Adrian's perfectly too. _Maybe we could all get our happy endings after all._

 **POV: Alexei**

"Court. That's where she is. I'm certain of it", Mateo confirmed as I looked up from the book I was reading and fixed my gaze on him. He backed away slightly. _He is afraid off me. He should be._

"So you expect me to believe those Royal idiots are what, keeping a Strigoi locked up for entertainment? If she was there, half of the Court would already be dead."

"That's the thing Sir, she isn't locked up and she isn't a Strigoi. I wouldn't believe it if I didn't see it with my own eyes. But I did see it. I saw her and some Moroi boy driving by me in Stroudsburg. Her eyes, her skin, everything was different."

 _Impossible,_ I thought, but then I remembered something Emilia once told me: _"I could bring people back to life, like my cousin, you know the one you killed."_ Maybe changing her was possible too. I heard the rumors.

"We'll find her Mateo. I already promised her once we'll meet again, so we'll do it now too."

 _And soon._

* * *

 **Chapter song: Holding on and letting go - Rosse Copperman**


	17. CH17 - We Are Young

**POV: Emilia**

The following month has been surprisingly and wonderfully ordinary. It felt so good to have a routine, to have some normalcy in my life. Some people would find it boring, but after everything, I rejoiced at the fact that my days were pretty much completely the same. As Adrian predicted, I caught the last chance to enroll in college and he did it with me. I looked forward to classes and studying a lot more than he did though, but we were both working it all out pretty well. Most of our classes were in the late afternoon and evening, so we managed to stay on the Court schedule more or less. Our late schedule arrangement was easy to work out with a little donation to the college, thanks to my gigantic bank account.

I was still staying at Adrian's place and not much has changed there, except for the fact that his living room turned into an art studio and half of his bedroom was covered in my books. The weird part was that I was still taking residence in his bed and he was sticking to the couch. We were trying not to rush things in every way possible, but I have to admit we didn't mind taking liberties. By that I mean we would sometimes spend hours at the time making out like two horny teenagers. He would always stop at some point and I admired his restrain. From what I gathered he wasn't the abstaining type. I knew he didn't want to push me into anything and despite my growing desires I didn't have the courage to ask for more. Regardless, being with Adrian in anyway was amazing. I was falling for him so fast and hard it was kind of scary.

Aside from spending time with him, as strange and awkward as it sounds we actually ended up hanging out with Lissa, Christian, Rose and Mitya occasionally. Despite my initial fears, I actually fit into their little group perfectly. Sometimes it even felt like I've been friends with them a lot longer then I actually have. Rose was the biggest surprise among them, since she obviously chose to embrace the fact that Mitya and I were friends a lot more than the fact that we were lovers, prying the details of his teenage years from me every chance she got. She was rather fascinated by the version of him that I knew back then. Probably because she thought he was a lot different from the man she knew now, but honestly he was pretty much the same to me. A bit more serious and mature, but I swear even when we were sixteen he was already acting like a grownup pretty much all of the time.

One more thing that's been keeping me busy was that I joined Adrian and Lissa in their Spirit research. It was amazing, learning about my element, finally understanding the things I feared so much about it and as it turns out, Adrian's choice of my "welcome back to Court gift" wasn't just a random pretty necklace. Aside from the crystal matching my eyes the rest of the necklace was silver which allowed the two of them to charm it and create a small weapon against the nightmares and the voices. Adrian was still the only one who knew about the later, but even without that information Lissa has been very helpful. Both of the Spirit side effects were still there, but things seemed promising nonetheless.

Coming back from classes one day, I stopped by the groceries store so I could stock up Adrian's fast-emptying fridge and then I drove back to pick him up once he was done. As soon as he was in the car I turned to him and said: "I think I should by a car."

"Hello to you too", he chuckled giving me a light peck on the lips.

"We go to classes almost every day and I feel stupid borrowing cars from Court all the time", I continued as I started the car back up.

"Any particular type in mind", he asked putting his seat-belt on.

As usual Adrian rolled with any topic I had in mind with such ease and without questioning I wondered how he could ever focus on anything. I liked that about him though, it sort of made him unpredictable.

"I haven't really thought about the details yet", I admitted driving out of the parking lot.

"Well, we can browse through some models back home", he suggested casting a look towards the backseat, "I see you've been shopping."

"Yeah, the fridge is empty."

"Again? Damn woman you need to eat less", he joked.

"Shut it", I chuckled.

"Can you stop on the next gas station? We are out of cigarettes too."

"Again? Damn man you need to smoke less", I teased him, but soon made the right turn and parked.

He went inside and I got out of the car leaning against the door. I lit up a cigarette and puffed out a big cloud of smoke looking across the station. My gaze stopped at the corner furthest away from me when I noticed something moving. The last rays of the sun were already gone, but it was still light enough for me to see a man standing behind the dumpster there. His silhouette looked so familiar. I focused on him as much as I could, trying to sharpen out my vision and that's when I realized he was watching me. I couldn't see his face, but for some reason I shivered from his gaze.

"Ready to go?", Adrian abruptly asked startling me.

I turned around for a second and when I looked back towards the dumpster the man was gone. I glanced around trying to determine if perhaps he's moved somewhere else, but aside from Adrian and I, there was none there. When I didn't say anything Adrian followed my gaze across the station before asking uncertainly: "Everything okay?"

"Fine", I replied shaking off the bad feeling I had.

Perhaps I was tired and the dim light was playing tricks with my mind. We hopped back into the car and by the time we reached the Court the uneasy feeling I had disappeared.

 **POV: Adrian**

"Do you want another beer?", I yelled from the kitchen.

"Yeah, sure", Emma shouted back from the living room.

I strolled over to the couch with two bottles in my hand and handed her one. As soon as I sat down she pushed her legs into my lap curling her toes into my thigh to warm them up. Soon enough I found myself trying to tune back into the movie we were watching in a desperate attempt to ignore the fact that she absently started rubbing her butt against my leg while she was trying to make herself comfortable and the fact that her legs kept slipping more and more between mine occasionally brushing against my crotch. When I reached the point that I actually had to curl my hands into fists to stop them from grabbing her I quickly asked: "What did I miss?"

"They had to rush Mia to the surgery and Adam took off", she mumbled her eyes never leaving the TV.

I glanced at her concentrated face and smiled. She was so adorable when she was trying to focus. She always made the same slightly frowny face as she absentmindedly picked on the corner of her lips with her teeth. I've been seeing a lot of that look lately between the spirit magic practice, studying and the rest of our everyday activities. She leaned into the armrest and pulled her shoulders back stretching out and as she did her blouse became way too tight on her chest for me to ignore it. I took a sip of my beer before I drawled: "Sooo would I be an awful person if I tried making out with you in the middle of such a dramatic movie?"

That finally dragged her attention and she looked at me raising her eyebrow while her shoulders dropped leaving her blouse a little tousled.

"You don't like the movie?"

"No, the movie is fine. But I like you more."

She smiled and grabbing the remote control switched to a music channel. She leaned over and kissed me. Her lips were so sweet and warm, kissing her felt like eating cupcakes, hot chocolate and countless delicious candy bars. It also felt like the entire world came to a stop in a second and I just melted into her. I kissed a fair amount of girls, actually I kissed more than a fair amount, but Emma was unlike anyone I've ever met in more than one category.

I shifted slightly so I could put away the bottle that was still stuck in my hand before I pulled her into my lap and let my hands slide from the nape of her neck to her lower back. She hugged me throwing her head back slightly as I lowered my lips leaving heated kisses over her jawline, neck and collarbone. She tugged the hem of my t-shirt and I helped her pull it over my head. As our lips met again she traced her fingers down my chest and my stomach letting a low hum escape her. She admitted to me a few days ago that she wanted to run her fingers over each and every muscle I had in that area ever since she saw me shirtless for the first time and frankly, knowing that, was driving me insane even more than it usually would. For some reason she was fascinated by my built, which I found odd knowing her last boyfriend was probably million times better looking since he was a Dhampir with an excessive workout schedule and I don't even remember when the last time I went to the gym was.

Casting my thoughts away, I slowly unbuttoned her shirt sliding it off of her. I kissed her collarbone again and then her shoulder carefully pushing the strap of her bra down her arm as I followed it's movement with my lips, repeating the process on her other arm as well. When she didn't protest I reached behind her back for the clip. I paused for a second using every ounce of strength I had not to just rip all of her clothes off. Her signal for me to move on was a rather unexpected one. She grabbed my belt and started unbuckling it. I pried my lips away long enough to look her in the eyes and breathe out: "What happened to doing it slow?"

"Fuck that, I want you", she mumbled her fingers speeding up.

 ***M***

I didn't need to be told twice. Once those words crossed her lips I picked her up and headed towards my bedroom as fast as I could between the kissing and the rest of our clothes coming off. We stumbled into the bed and I hungrily conquered every inch of her body with my lips. Her breathing grew louder as I traced her inner thighs with feather like kisses, teasing her as I sliding my tongue over all those places that were just aching for my attention. She tangled her fingers into my hair tugging it so I would move faster, but I ignored her and took my sweet time. I've been waiting for this for a while now and I wasn't about to be rushed.

Once I was done claiming her entire body, I moved up to her lips again, sliding between her legs. She wrapped them around me trying to pull me closer and I just chuckled: "Easy."

I stared into her violet eyes that almost shone in the dark as I let my fingers travel down her body agonizingly slow before they reached their destination. She was soaked already, but I wanted to make her even needier so I rubbed my fingers against her as she wiggled gasping and screwing her eyes shut. As soon as she did that I stopped what I was doing waiting for her to look at me again. Only when her eyelids fluttered open did I slide one of my fingers into her feeling her twitch underneath me. I played around adding another finger when she seemed like she was going to protest. Actually every time she tried to say something I did one more thing that would momentarily render her speechless. At a certain point though, she managed to gasp one single thing: "Adrian."

I stopped my sweet torture only to reach out to the drawer of the nightstand next to the bed and pull out a condom. I kissed her as I quickly ripped the package open, rolling it on without a pause. Honestly, I've done this enough times I think I'd manage to do it with one hand behind my back in complete darkness. As I position myself at her entrance, I heard her inhale in anticipation. Before she could attempt to say anything else, I decided I was done teasing her and I slid into her my own breath getting caught halfway out.

 **POV: Emilia**

I've been dead for so long it was surprising to me how he could make me feel so alive in one sole movement. He stayed like that buried in me, not moving, just staring into my eyes like he was trying to relish every detail, ever piece of me.

When he started moving, he did it slowly, his eyes never leaving mine. Even in the dark those beautiful emeralds were shining so bright they took my breath away. Under other circumstances I probably would have loved this slow and gentle pace, but I was so hungry, I was starving for him, so I pushed my hips up to meet his urging him to go faster. When that didn't work I pushed him off of me, with the strength that even surprised me a little, and rolled us over so that I was on top of him now. I started moving a lot faster than he did, going up and sliding down as much as my body would let me. He dug his fingers into my thighs and looked at me in a way that almost made me come right there and then. He slid our bodies to the edge of the bed and sat up plunging deeper inside of me. I gasped and placed my arms around his shoulders so I would keep myself steady. His hands slid from my thighs to my ass and he used his grip to control my movements forcing me down on him harder. I got lost, rocking forwards and backwards, going up and down, it was all one mind wrecking blur. I thought I would float away, my whole body pulsing, itching to give in and explode. His grip was the only thing keeping me on this earth.

In the midst of the entire hot and heavy mess of kisses, bites and our attempts to melt into one, he pulled my head down by my chin and fixed it in front of his face so I would look at him.

"Keep your eyes open", he breathed out letting one of his hands slide into my hair and the other pressing against my back.

I obeyed, staring into those green depths filled with lust and I kept going until I felt him pulsing inside of me. That finally pushed me over the edge. I came crushing down in a wave of moans and gasps my whole world spinning around me. His release followed fast and as I leaned my forehead against his I heard him breathing out my name.

 ***M***

 **POV: Adrian**

As soon as we managed to catch our breaths, I picked Emma up and rolled her over, lying back on the bed while wrapping my arms around her. She snuggled up against me, placing her head on my shoulder and throwing one of her arms around me while she rested the other one on my chest.

"That was amazing", she muttered relaxing in my arms.

"Tell me about it", I responded kissing her forehead.

Perhaps it was the combination of the fact that I was crazy about her, that I had to wait for this and that she was actually really good at it, but I felt like I have never in my entire life had anything better, anyone better.

"Did it bother you that I took charge?", she asked her cheeks blushing slightly.

"Are you kidding me? I love my women on top", I chuckled, but then realized something was off because I felt her body tensing up a little.

"There was a lot of them, ha?", she mumbled as I moved my head to the side so I could look at her.

"Honestly, yeah, there was quite a few. Does that bother you?"

"No, yes, maybe, I don't know", she blurted out trying to bury her face beneath my arm.

"Hey", I started, pushing her head to look at me, "It's the past. We both have them and neither of us should worry about them."

"I know. The weird thing is that I keep telling myself that and I know it's the truth, but I just, I don't know, I feel-."

"Jealous? Like you want to erase them all kiss by kiss?", I prompted and when she smiled I added, "I know. I feel the same way."

"Really?", she almost whispered.

"Hell yeah", I said with a wide grin.

That made her relax again and she pushed herself up so she was closer to me, her lips briefly gluing to mine as she ran her finger across my chest and back. After a couple of moments she added: "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure", I whispered picking up a strand of her hair and twirling it around my finger.

"How many of them were you in love with?"

I can't say I didn't expect the question, but it still surprised me a bit. It was only fair though, I pretty much knew most of her previous love story and she knew as close to nothing about my.

"One", I finally responded, but still stayed silent about who that one was.

"Rose?", she prompted frowning.

"To be fair, I never slept with Rose so she doesn't really count."

"Who then?", she asked still oblivious.

"You", I admitted.

Her eyes spread, the look on her face clearly showing she was alarmed about my words like she was afraid she misheard them. So I added my voice shaking slightly from the excitement I felt overflowing me: "I love you. I know it sound crazy and fast, but I guess that's what we are all about. I really love you."

The smile on her face in that moment could light up the whole world. She was adorable with that goofy look on her face, her messy hair and the little glint in her eyes. This wonderful, beautiful girl in my arms was all mine and I couldn't stop myself from wondering how did I ever get this lucky.

"I love you too", she whispered against my lips and I felt my heart skip a beat before it stopped all together when she decided to pick things up where we left them off when we were still sitting up.

* * *

 **Chapter song: We are young - Fun**


	18. CH18 - Kiss me

**POV: Emilia**

Waking up in Adrian's arms qualified as the number one favorite moment of my life. My head was on his chest so I could hear his steady heartbeat. His arms were around me keeping me comfy, warm and safe. Our legs were tangled up under the sheets. I slowly and carefully moved my head so I could look at him. His face was relaxed and his chestnut hair was a mess, making him seem even younger and cuter. I swear he was the most adorable person when he was asleep. Well, honestly he was the most adorable person when he was doing anything.

He stirred slightly and I pushed myself higher so I can nuzzle my head in the crook of his neck. He hugged me tighter and moved again as I placed small kisses down his neck before I moved to his mouth. I kissed him lightly and gently slid my tongue over his bottom lip. He parted his lips slowly, still sleepy. As I continued kissing him I traced my fingers over his bare chest all the way down and then I wrapped my hand around _him._ That sure as hell woke him up.

 ***M***

I started stocking him and I heard a low growl coming from his throat. He slid one of his hands to my ass and tangled the other into my hair. After a few moments he rolled me over to my back and hovered over me deepening the kiss. He trailed kisses down to my breasts teasing me with his tongue. I grabbed his arms and pulled him on top of me. His legs rolled over between mine as he climbed his kisses back to my lips, while I traced my fingers up and down his back. He tapped the nightstand blindly since he was either to lost in our kiss or just plainly reluctant to open his eyes despite knowing he wasn't going back to sleep again. I helped him in his search pulling the drawer open without ever letting go of him with my other hand. When he finally eased himself inside of me he did it so slowly I could feel every inch of him perfectly. We moved leisurely and in sync, and just like last night every second of it was he eventually rolled onto his back he half pulled me on top of him and in that moment I was seriously thinking of just melting away in his arms.

 ***M***

"Now that's a good way to wake up", he murmured playing with a strand of my hair as he rubbed at his eyes.

"I thought you might like it", I chuckled snuggling up at him as much as I could.

"Thank God it's the weekend", he rejoiced, "We can spend the whole day doing a lot more of this."

"Actually, we can't", I corrected him glancing at the watch on the nightstand, "Because you have to meet Lissa and the council members in, oh, now."

"Shit", he exclaimed literally jumping off of the bed, almost making me fall to the ground as he did.

I giggled as he ran into the bathroom and got up myself strolling over to his closet. When he ran back into the room I was already pulling out his clothes and handing them to him. He took them, but didn't start dressing straight away. Instead he stood there like he was hypnotized, staring at me and scanning me up and down as he mumbled: "Damn, you are so beautiful."

"Right back at you", I smiled pulling on one of his shirts and wrapping it around my body, "And as much as I would love to stare at you all day, you need to go, now."

"Right", he said reluctantly focusing back on his clothes.

A little more of racing around the room and I followed him downstairs to the front door. He pushed his things into his pockets hastily before he turned around and pulled me to him, kissing me fiercely. When he pulled back I looked at him smiling devilishly as I winked.

"I'll be waiting", I whispered trying to sound as seductive as possible.

"Wait in that", he pointed at his shirt, "It looks way sexier on you than it should."

He gave me one last peck and then he was out the door. I smiled to myself and went to the kitchen. I put the coffee on out of a habit, but then realized I already felt wide awake. Actually, I don't remember the last time I felt this rested. And there was no grogginess from the sleeping pills. _Sleeping pills._

"Holy shit", I exclaimed as realization hit me.

I almost dropped the cup I was holding as I turned around to look at my meds bottle like I was checking if it was still there. In the midst of everything with Adrian I forgot to take them. _And I had no nightmares._ For the first time since I've been restored I slept through the entire night without a single bad dream.

" _Bravo, genius, took you long enough to figure it out",_ the faint voice in my head yelled.

"Adrian", I whispered.

Every time he was there, every time he touched me, the voices would disappear. He was like a bright light chasing the shadows away. Last night was the first night I slept in his embrace and the only night the nightmares were a no show. _But why?_

" _Think Emilia, think hard",_ the voices came again.

"Go away, all of you", I mumbled.

" _And what makes you think there is more of us? Ever heard of an echo?"_

" _What do you mean?"_ , I thought or rather asked the voice, but for the first time, when I actually wanted an answer, everything became silent again. _Great!_

 **POV: Rose**

Good God these people are unbearable. I straightened up glancing around the council room as the ongoing discussion continued, before checking my watch again. _Where the hell are you, Adrian?_ He was possible the only person who could make this meeting at least fun to watch with his remarks and quips. He tried really heard to be serious and mature when it came to them, for Lissa's sake, but he just couldn't help sticking it to those idiot ever once in a while.

"That's a complete waste of our resources", Reece Tarus announced leaning back into his chair.

"Prince Tarus, you find every action a waste of our resources. I wonder what do you believe would be a good use of them? I think it's a very useful project", Sophia Zeklos voiced clearly annoyed.

"The girl is right", Trenton Dashkov cut it his voice shaking slightly.

Sophia Zeklos most definitely was not a girl. Sure she was the youngest Council member at the age of forty-something, but that didn't classify her as a girl. What did make her _seem_ like a girl compared to Trenton was the fact that the ancient prince was a hundred and twenty and still counting.

"What's so useful about it? I mean truly, your Majesty excluded, the rest of the Spirit Users we've came across so far were either useless or insane", Reece persisted and I noticed Lissa tightening her fists under the table.

If we still had a bond I would tell her to relax and ignore the idiot, but now I was just forced into silence and a reassuring smile every now and then when she would glance my way. Sadly, she was too busy to do it now.

"Useless? Is this a joke to you Prince Tarus?", Arianna Szelsky finally spoke up joining the discussion.

It was a joke to me. Not the topic, the topic was really important. Finally, shedding some light on the Spirit related things would be huge for Lissa, Adrian and other people like them. It would also mean Lissa would finally get to start something nobody else had the balls to start before. The joke was that she actually needed consent from these ignorant fools.

"Regardless, we should sort out whose element was wrongfully determined for various reasons. Whether we are going to pursue further research when it comes to the Spirit Users or not is another topic", Marcus Lazar stated.

I liked this guy. He was very levelheaded. Lissa's small smile upon his words told me she liked him just as much.

"What is the use of sorting them out if we're not going to use the information we gain for some purpose?", Alexander Voda countered him calmly.

 _He had a point,_ I though looking towards Lissa as she peered up at me. The look she gave me made it clear she was sharing my thoughts.

"What purpose? What should we have them do? Go around compelling people? Any earth user can do that. Or should we have them play nurses, healing people in the hospitals?", Reece jeered.

"We could have them fighting just like the rest of us should", Sophia retorted causing all hell to break lose.

Moroi using their magic to fight was a rather sensitive topic, especially after the whole fiasco with Tasha and the former, now dead, queen. That's why as soon as Sophia's words were out they argued even more, throwing anger filled commentary at each other. I looked at Lissa again, half expecting her to cut in, but she just leaned back into her chair and made a satisfied face. She wanted them to fight. It was the only way she could push them into action. They were all big talkers, but when the time came to take a stand for something or make a decision most of them would just pull back.

"Say they fight. Say we all do. What good are they? Are they going to dream walk someone to death?", Reece exclaimed in the exact moment when his chair got lifted off of the ground with him in it.

He cried out in panic, frantically trying to grab the edge of the table, trying to bring himself back down, but he failed. Instead, he got flown over the room and landed with a loud thud. As soon as his chair hit the ground he leaped off of it and started turning around in horror, trying to determine what caused his levitation experience in the first place.

"Lord Ivashkov, how nice of you to join us", Lissa spoke up.

I looked up and saw Adrian standing by the door a smug expression on his face, as a small smile played on his lips. He bowed down before he declared in an overly dramatic voice: "My sincerest apologies your Majesty. I've seemed to have misplaced my watch. But, certainly, to everyone's utmost delight, I'm here to lighten up this obvious tension _floating_ around, no pun intended."

I barely managed to sustain a laugh as he watched Tarus with amusement upon registering his furious face.

"You little-", Reece fumed through his teeth.

"Prince Tarus, please take a sit", Lissa ordered cutting his insult short.

She was fine when they fought, but I knew she would not tolerate nasty insults, especially if they were directed towards Adrian. She was very protective of him. Despite his evident fury Tarus obeyed. Lissa might have been quiet and withdrawn until now, but they all knew better than to contradict the Queens requests.

"Prince Tarus, might I suggest you inform yourself better about the things you wish to discuss? Otherwise, it might be difficult for you to view things from a different perspective. And I strongly believe the aerial one, it could be refreshing for you", Adrian continued pushing his buttons as he strolled around the table to sit next to Lissa.

"Lord Ivashkov how do you even have the audacity-?", Reece started peering at Lissa to see if she'll scold him again, but Adrian swiftly cut him off by adding: "To prove you wrong?"

"Lord Ivashkov", Lissa interrupted giving Adrian a warning look to back off, "I always appreciate your eagerness to _demonstrate_ your opinions, but sadly today's topic is not about the capabilities of Spirit Users as much as it is about discovering who those Users are. And since I'm sure you all have somewhere to be, I would like to cut this discussion short and proceed to the voting. All in favor of the retesting program-."

I disappointedly leaned away since the one man show of Adrian Ivashkov was clearly over, but I was still very interested to see the results, especially after his "demonstration" as Lissa called it. Despite the fact that she wanted to make this meeting shorter I was sure the discussion was actually just about to begin. _Oh, joy!_

 **POV: Dimitri**

"You should have seen the look on his face, pure and utter horror", Roza chuckled biting down on her piece of pizza before mumbling: "This is delicious by the way."

It was her turn to pick dinner and like always she went for pizza. I smiled at the look on her face as she stuffed the food into her mouth. Complete nirvana. Her love for food was something rather interesting to witness.

"It was very amusing", Lissa admitted with a small smile.

"It was hilarious", Roza persisted between the chewing.

"Even if it was, he shouldn't have done it", Lissa commented frowning, "Tarus is furious."

"So what? The retesting was still accepted. Besides, I thought you hated the guy", Christian responded.

"The Lissa part of me does, the Queen part doesn't have that luxury. I need to keep them all as close to satisfied as I can. I need their support, regardless of my opinion of them."

"I'm sure Adrian's tricks are not as big of a deal", Christian concluded.

"Speaking of tricks, when _did_ he learn to move things with his mind?",Roza asked losing the smile.

I was glad she asked the question since I've been meaning to ask it myself. It wasn't something I've heard of before and a new ability showing in any use of the Spirit was always something to pay attention to. Lissa looked up at her with a frown pondering on her words as she mumbled: "I don't know. He didn't mention it to me. Now that I think of it, through all our research he barely ever spoke about how he's doing. I don't know how I let that slip by."

"You have a lot on your mind", I implied trying to lessen her obvious solicitude.

"I guess", she muttered still lost in her thoughts, "I should probably talk to him these days though."

"Come on my Queen, let's go get you some rest", Christian announced getting up and cutting the conversation short. He never liked seeing her upset or alarmed by something, since she truly did have a lot on her mind most of the time. As I stood up with him he added: "We are right next door. We'll call you if we need anything."

I walked them out and as soon as I turned around Roza jumped into my arms gluing her lips to mine and, like always, the minute she did that I was totally lost to the rest of the world. I picked her up as she chuckled: "Finally alone."

I carried her to the bedroom, but I stopped just as I reached the bed waiting for her to show me what she wanted next. She smiled rolling her eyes at my "chivalry" as she called it, before she kissed me again, but this time with enough force that she melted into me. But the force disappeared as quick as it came and the pressure on my lips faded. It made it clear she was in the mood for some gentleness rather than her usual fiery ways. It was probably because she was tired, or because we haven't exactly had many activates like this lately. Ever since our fight, she was a bit different. She accepted my countless apologies, she claimed I had regained the trust I was seeking and I knew she meant it, she even befriended Eka which surprised me more than I could describe. But regardless of it all, she was avoiding sex. Well, not avoiding, more like delaying. I didn't press her about it and I let her faint excuses fly by since I knew I deserved all the punishment I could get.

I don't know if tonight was going to be another night where she stops me at some point, but I didn't care. I needed my Roza and I'd take whatever she decided to give.

 ***M***

I laid her down, crawling on top of her and kissed her gently, moving slowly with both my lips and hands. She relaxed letting her hands fall to the bed and her head to slip back. At some point I pulled her shirt up slightly kissing her stomach and when she didn't protest I kept rolling it up. I took my time undressing her, paying extra attention to every new piece of skin I came across as her clothing disappeared. She played with the hair on the back of my neck and ran her hands over my body while she got rid of my clothing as well, up until she was naked and I was left with only my boxers. And then, like every night lately, it happened again. She froze, before quickly pulling herself up and kissing me hastily.

As my hands touched her again she grabbed them and used them as leverage to push me down so I was the one on my back now. She pulled on my boxers and lowered herself down pressing her lips against my hard member, before letting her tongue slip up it.

"Roza-", I started to say, but she cut me of when her mouth took in the tip and she looked down focusing on the task she has given herself.

When I tried to speak again she went deeper, taking in as much as she could, but still not looking up at me. I knew her well, well enough to know this was wrong. It was wrong because she wasn't doing it for her or mine pleasure, she was doing it to avoid any other activity. So I reached down trying to be as gentle as I could while I gripped her head and pulled her away sitting up in the process.

 ***M***

"Roza-", I whispered, but she quickly cut in, "Was I doing something wrong?"

"No, but this", I responded gesturing to the both of us, "This is wrong."

"You don't want me?", she challenged purposefully misinterpreting my words.

"I do. That's the problem."

"Good, then let's get back to it", she stressed placing her palms on my shoulder to push me back.

I grabbed her hands pulling her towards me, basically jerking her into my lap and winced as I felt her stiffen up. The last thing I wanted was to make this even more uncomfortable than it already was so I let go of her hands and let her move away slightly before I pushed her chin up and whispered: "You need to tell me what's on your mind. If you don't I'll go insane trying to figure out what's bothering you. Please, whatever it is, Roza, just say it."

"I'm scared", she breathed out her voice barely above a whisper.

"Of what?", I almost cried as I tried to catch her gaze.

"You-", she started saying as she finally lifted her eyes to mine, "I know you lay your heart out to me when we are, you know, all your emotions, all your thoughts lay bare for me to see and I'm just scared that what I see-."

She didn't finish the sentence. She didn't have to. She was trying so hard to forgive and forget, but some things she just couldn't control, fear was one of them. I pondered on my next move, before I offered her my hand. She frowned but took it and I helped her back down following her. As I hovered over her I brushed her hair away from her face and looked into her eyes whispering: "I love you Rosemary Hathaway. Please, let me show it to you."

She just silently peered up at me until she prompted her head up and kissed me, giving me an open invitation to deliver on my promise.

"I love you too. Take me, Comrade. Show me", she demanded between the kisses and I was more than happy to oblige.

 **POV: Adrian**

"All done?", I asked Emma as I stuck my head through the bathroom door.

"Yup", she responded pulling it wide open.

Her hair was slightly damp, her makeup gone and she wore a short pajama shirt that probably used to be knee length when she bought it, but was now something she grew out of. Luckily, for me though she was still buying a new wardrobe one piece at a time, so every once in a while she would parade around in something ridiculously hot that covered less than it uncovered, when her other clothes were being washed. I checked her out from head to toe, letting my eyes skim up her bare legs, a little fragment of her black boxers visible at the edge of the shirt and the logo on her chest while I whistled and commented: "Sexy."

"Adrian, you are probably the only person on this planet who can consider a stretched out, old, Mickey Mouse pajama to be sexy."

"Hey, Mickey is a cool guy", I joked, "Besides I think you're sexy no matter what you wear."

She just smiled and hopped under the covers turning around to grab the glass of water I left for her on the nightstand. I followed her, hugging her from behind and resting my chin on her shoulder. I suddenly got super aware of the fact that her butt was right up against my-. _No, nope. Don't go there. You can't act like a sex maniac._

"Did you remember to take your pills?", I asked trying to distract myself.

"Actually, no, I'm not taking them tonight", she responded putting the glass away since she was done drinking.

"Why not?"

"I'm trying out a theory", she mysteriously mumbled turning around and landing a kiss on my nose before she wiggled down.

"You want to share it?", I prompted lying down as well and lifting my arms so she could curl up next to me just the way she liked.

"I'll share if it turns out to be correct", she stated cozying up to me as I put my hand down and wrapped it around her.

"Deal", I said deciding it wasn't the time to push her.

She yawed and I stretched back to click the lights off. She planted a few kisses on my chest lazily before she mumbled: "Good night."

"Sweet dreams, Gorgeous", I said kissing the top of her head.

"Yours too, Handsome", she giggled.

As we drifted to sleep she melted into my arms even more, and for the first time in a long time I actually remember falling asleep with a big fat grin on my face.

* * *

 **Chapter song: Kiss me - Ed Sheeran**

 **New AN: D &R part is longer than the original as I added some things obviously!**

 **Original AN part:** **Sooo, I know I had a lot of POV's and a lot of characters in this chapter and it might have been a little difficult to understand who is who.** **I wanted to make the Royal Council members as interlaced with VA as possible, so I created the Council from the already existing princes and princesses, along with some Royal family member mentioned in the books. I also had to create some of my own characters to fill in the missing spots for some families. I know the whole thing is not entirely according to the books, but hey this is a fan fiction after all!**

 **Just to make it easier for you guys the following are each of the family's representative: Alexander Voda, Rufus Ivashkov, Liam Badica, Marie Conta, Evette Ozera, Reece Tarus, Trenton Dashkov, Ava Dorzdov, Ariana Szelsky, Marcus Lazar and Sophia Zeklos. Some were mentioned here and some will (probably) be making their appearance later in the stories.**


	19. CH19 - Somebody To Love

**POV: Dimitri**

I turned to my back throwing my arm over to Roza's side of the bed. I abruptly opened my eyes and prompted myself up on my elbows in panic. I realized her half of the bed was empty and cold. Her scent lingered and that was the only thing telling me she has been there, but she's obviously left quite some time ago.

Ever since I was restored and back at her side, I subconsciously had this feeling, this fear in the back of my head, that one day I'll wake up and realize it never happened. That it was all a fantasy. That I never got her back, never had a chance to hold her in my arms again and call her mine. That fear kicked into my conscience every time she left my side. When we started sleeping next to each other, I would wake up several times a night just to check if she was still there. She was usually in my arms. She was a restless sleeper, tossing and turning all night and despite the fact that she would roll out of my arms countless times she always found her way back into them. It was like gravity was pulling us together.

Casting a look towards Roza's nightstand I saw a note prompted on the lamp.

 _Had to head out earlier! Last night was amazing (like always)! I'll see you for lunch! Love, R!_

I got up, made myself dissent and went to check on Christian who, unlike me, obviously had no trouble sleeping without Lissa there. He greeted me in his pajama, still half asleep, rubbing his eyes as he squinted up at me. He yawned before he announced: "I'm not going anywhere any time soon. I know, shocker! So you are as free as a bird since I'm pretty sure no Strigoi or any other threat is going to jump out of my fridge."

"You know, judging by the last couple of days I'm seriously overpaid", I commented smiling.

"Hey, enjoy it while it lasts. I'm planning to turn into a very social and outgoing person any time now", he joked before saying goodbye and shutting the door.

Leaving our building I decided to take a quick stroll near the edges of the Court and then go somewhere to get breakfast. It was very cold outside, so I crossed my arms on my chest trying to minimize the impact of the wind on my body. I was lost in my thoughts as I approached the wards, up until I heard tires screeching on the pavement. I looked up and saw something shiny and red flying by my eyes. It took me a moment to realize it was a car moving so fast it kicked up a cloud of dust. I stopped near the fence as the car came to a stop as well. I couldn't see who was inside of it because the windows were tinted, but I could tell that whoever it was paid good money for it since I recognized the brand. It was a Maserati. The car kicked into motion again, this time at a normal speed passing the front gate and going into the parking lot. Once it was parked the passenger door opened and a guy hopped out of it. He wore a black hat and a long black coat so it was hard to recognize him at first. He went around the car and opened the door for the driver offering his hand. A gentle female hand slid into his and in a manner of seconds she joined him. She was dressed in a fur hooded coat making her just as unrecognizable, but there was something awfully familiar about the both of them. The car made a blipping sound upon locking up before she slipped the keys into her pocket.

They started walking still holding hands, a heated conversation going on between them. She surpassed him and he used his hold on her hand to pull her back and turn her around. She flew into his arms and his free hand slipped underneath her hood while the other dropped her hand in order to slide up to her back. He kissed her and even from where I was standing it was clear that the kiss was filled with a fiery passion.

I took off, not wanting to disturb them, but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to look away. There was an energy around them that was so strong I thought it could drag everyone's eyes to them no matter where they were and regardless of what they were doing.

She held on to his arm while one of her hands drifted from his neck to his cheek. Her hood fell back in the same moment she accidentally pushed off his hat. As the hat fell to the ground they jerked apart bursting in giggles and chuckles. He turned around and crouched to pick the hat up giving me a clear view of the both of them. Amethyst and Emerald. Luckily, they didn't notice me and with his hat back on his head, they went back to talking, continuing their progress towards the Court. They were close enough now for me to hear bits and pieces of their conversation, so Adrian almost made my heart jump out of my chest when he suddenly yelled: "I love you."

She exploded into laughter and tried to shush him, but he let go of her and started walking backwards keeping a small distance between them. He kept yelling as she tried to reach him laughing in the same time: "You are beautiful, smart, amazing-."

He had to speed up, until she was basically chasing him. As she finally managed to catch up to him he cried out: "I love you and I want the whole world to know it."

I had a pretty good idea what she said to him next since it caused more kissing and smiling. They seemed happy. Really happy. And for the first time since she's been back I finally felt at peace. She was right, she didn't need my protection, but not only because she could take care of herself. I saw him looking at her and I knew that it was the look that mirrored mine when I would gaze upon Roza. Despite my earlier doubts, it was as clear as day it was the look of a man in love. A man ready to burn down cities to keep her safe and guarded from any harm. A man who lived to see her smile and to keep her happy. The one she belonged with.

 **POV: Rose**

After a long day I finally parted with Lissa and pushed the key from my apartment into the lock. As I opened the door I was instantly hit by an amazing smell. It was a mix of cinnamon and apple that almost made me drool. I stripped off my coat and followed the smell to the kitchen. I saw Dimitri next to the oven, his back to me and his hands moving as he worked on whatever was in front of him.

"Hey", he said as I walked in without turning around.

I strolled over to him and hugged him from the back leaning my head to the side so I can see what he was doing. He was cutting a deliciously looking piece of pie.

"What is that and can I have some?", I asked as he placed the plate with the pie on the counter and turned around to give me a kiss.

"You can have as much as you want", he chuckled wrapping his arms around me, "How was your day?"

"Boring, but it seems like it's going to improve now. What brought on your domestic behavior?"

He just smiled mysteriously and let go off me so he can pick up two plates and carry them to the living room. I followed him and sat down next him on the couch. The pie was more than delicious, it was heaven.

"How was your day?", I asked between the bites.

"Strange", he admitted watching me devour my slice with amusement.

"Why? What happened?"

"I realized something", he just answered plainly.

"Care to elaborate?"

"I know why you liked him", he started and then upon my confused expression added, "Adrian."

"You do?", I asked dumbfounded.

"Yes. The truth is, I always thought Adrian can be a decent guy when he wants to be and I thought he was an okay person, which was pretty much the highest my opinion of him went. But, today I realized that, despite what I believed, there is much more to him than it meets the eyes. And to my outmost surprise he is more like me than I thought."

"You think he's like you?", I asked in utter shock.

I knew Adrian was a lot more than he seemed to be to other people, in fact throughout my time with him I realized he was a completely different person underneath the flamboyant, party boy act, but I never even tried comparing him and Dimitri, or searching for similarities between them. Maybe it was because I didn't want to find them, because despite my attempts to lie to myself and the world, Adrian was just a good distraction from Dimitri for a lot longer then I cared to admit. That didn't mean I didn't care about him, but I knew I could never love him the way I did Dimitri, not really.

"Not that I'm attempting to praise myself by the following, but I noticed the things we had in common are more than a few, like the fact that he is brave in his own way, ready to fight for what he believes in and for the people he cares for. He can be very kind and surprisingly selfless at times. And he is a very devoted man, despite his short attention span. And I think people that he considers friends are very lucky to have him by their side."

"Wow, I don't think I've ever heard anyone say this many positive things about him, like ever", I commented still a bit at lost, but smiling regardless.

"Not many people know him I guess. I don't either, not truly, but as you stated a couple of times I guess I can just be very observant."

"You sure can. And when _did_ you observe all that, if you don't mind me asking?"

"I saw him with Emilia today", he explained going into details about the scene he witnessed, the scene that was in my opinion ridiculous and really sweet at the same time and very much in Adrian's style.

"So does that mean you'll finally stop eyeing him like a hawk?", I chuckled putting my plate aside.

He laughed and nodded while saying: "I guess I will."

"Good, cause it was getting freaking uncomfortable", I joked before I climbed into his lap and added, "Now how about you improve my day even more?"

He stocked my hair and looked me in the eyes with a slightly serious look whispering: "I love you Roza."

I'm seriously never going to get tired of hearing it. And I don't think my heart will ever stop jumping up in my chest when I do. He said those words so many times last night I thought he might have to call the ambulance to pick me up and save me from a heart attack.

"I love you too", I responded before my mouth crashed on to his.

I felt the familiar feeling of warmth and pleasure spread through my entire body and my skin burned everywhere he touched it. I got so lost in the kiss I barely noticed when the couch was replaced by the bed. He placed me gently on it and brought his body closer to mine by climbing on top. I opened my eyes and gazed at his beautiful ones. There was so much love in them I wondered why I ever for one second doubt his feelings and loyalty. He was mine and I was his and it that moment the rest of the world didn't matter anymore. It was me he belonged with.

 **POV: Emilia**

I picked up my mug and leaned it against my lips nudging it up. When nothing happened I glanced at it seeing the empty bottom. _Great, I was out of coffee again._ I exhaled, slamming my book shut and pushing away the pens and rollers I used to underline countless definitions I was trying to memories. I've forgotten how hard studying can get. I decided to check and see what Adrian was doing so I strolled out of the kitchen, but the space in front of the canvas was empty and the colors on the picture dry. I wondered around the house until I found him in the bedroom sitting on the floor and scrabbling something on a note pad. He looked up at me as I came in and smiled.

"What are you doing?", I asked joining him on the floor.

"I'm making a list", he answered thoughtfully tapping his pen on the edge of the pad.

"A list?", I asked casting a look to his neat handwriting.

"A list of the things we should do before we break up", he announced proudly.

"Break up? We are already thinking about breaking up?", I laughed as his eyes wondered back to mine.

"Of course not. Marriage and kids, remember? It's a hypothetical break up."

"Okay", I giggled, "So what does the list of our "before the hypothetical breakup" adventures have?"

"Lots of things", he teased mysteriously.

"Like-", I prompted as he handed me the notepad and said, "Take a look at it yourself."

I skimmed over the sentences marked with numbers seeing he's already reached thirty. I laughed at a few things like " _strip naked on top of the Eiffel Tower_ " and " _go to a nudist beach_ ", before one particular suggestion caught my attention.

I looked up at Adrian raising my eyebrow as I asked: "Cuffs?"

"Cuffs", he confirmed happily.

When I kept staring at him in confusion he added: "Remember the never have I ever game? You said you never played tie up with your partner. I just wasn't sure if it was only about you not taking charge, so I wrote it down like this."

"You mean to ask if _I_ was ever the one tied up?", I prompted smiling.

"Exactly", he exclaimed putting the notepad away.

"Well the answer to your question, I guess, is that I never really thought about trying the kinky stuff."

"Kinky stuff?", he cried out, "Cuffs are not anywhere close to kinky. They are so vanilla they make vanilla look boring. It's what you're doing while the cuffs are on that counts."

"And what is it that you do while the cuffs are on?", I asked my interest peeked.

"That is something I'll have to show you", he chuckled pinching my cheek.

"So show me", I retorted extending my hands and locking them together in front of him.

"What right now?", he asked in confusion.

"You really want me to think you don't already have a pair of those lurking around somewhere?"

He didn't respond, instead he pushed himself up and walked over to the closet rummaging through it until he turned back around letting the metal hang from his fingers. I wiggled on my spot on the floor nervously as he eyed me and questioned: "You sure you are up for the challenge?"

"Just dial down the kinkiness and we'll be good to go", I nervously mumbled standing up.

He walked up to me slowly, before he lowered his head and kissed me. Looking into my eyes he said: "Don't worry. I'm not really as twisted as I'd like to be."

"That's not helping", I giggled suddenly feeling like an innocent teenager.

"We'll be sticking to the basics Gorgeous", he said before he pulled me towards him.

 **POV: Adrian**

"Fuck" was pretty much the only word she produced throughout the next hour. Everything else was just moans and cries as I teased her and pleased her in every way I thought of. But when I cut to the main part she turned into a blabbering mess and my God, to think that she was all nice and shy was the biggest mistake anyone could make. When I finally released her tossing the cuffs away she immediately pounced on me tackling me down.

"I. Had. No. Idea. This. Could. Be. So. Awesome", she blurted out between the kisses she pressed on my lips.

I laughed at her statement, cupping her face to pull her away long enough to meet her gaze.

"So I guess that's a yes on my ideas", I chuckled as the flush of her cheeks began dialing down slightly.

"Oh yeah", she responded before she scowled worriedly and added, "Well expect for the ones about being naked in a public place."

"Eiffel Tower included?", I prompted as a smile spread over her lips.

"Sorry Handsome, I'm not as twisted as you'd like me to be."

"Oh I don't know about that, you did and said some pretty memorable things earlier", I teased her as she stuck her tongue out at me.

"It doesn't count when I'm under those circumstances. My mind doesn't really work well when you do those kinds of things."

"What kind of things?"

"Come on. I'll show you", she responded as she reached for the cuffs and dangled them in front of my face, "Your turn."

 _God help me I found the perfect woman!_ , I thought as we rolled back under the covers for what was about to become a rather long night.

* * *

 **Chapter song: Somebody to love - Barns Courtney**

 **New AN: This chapter has been changed from the original - upgraded since the last two parts from E &A's POV is something new I've written and added in!**

 **Old AN: It was pointed out to me that the particular car I choose for Emilia was extremely expensive and the natural question that came to mind was "where the hell did she get the money for it?". The answer: I just wanted a cool car in this story and since I didn't envision Emilia as a type of a person who would go for a classic (yeah I know, they are awesome!) she needed to have something more modern. She has a huge bank account (left behind by her father) that allows her to pay for her college, house renovations, way to freaking expensive car etc. and I think we should just leave it at that (after all the bull I've put her through and the things awaiting her she deserves to be spoiled)! Btw, the specific model I opted for is Maserati Granturismo S so if you want to see how it looks like Google it.**

 **This chapter is dedicated to one** **awesome** **girl!** **Ri this one's for you! Thank you for sticking with me and for all the support you've offered!**

 **P.S. Swimming don't you dare think I forgot about you! Your support has been very important to me too, but the chapter I'll dedicate to you is just begging to be more steamy and lemony Romitri time, so keep looking forward to that!**


	20. CH20 - Light A Fire

**POV: Emilia**

It's been cold for days. It was cold enough for the windows to become blurred over the night from the contrast of the heat inside and the frigid air outside. The coldest it has ever been in these parts according to Adrian. I trusted his judgement, he did after all know better than me when it came to the Court. I could hardly remember such details from my childhood.

I didn't mind any of it though. I didn't mind because I had a warm embrace waiting for me anytime I'd get a chill. A warm embrace filled with love, Adrian's hands sliding around me to keep me comfortable and protected, among other things, things that we couldn't help but to eagerly seek out almost every night. We enjoyed one another, body and mind, we explored, we conquered and we fell in love harder and harder just when we thought we couldn't possibly go any further.

This night something was different though. Adrian was different. It happened right after I told him it's most likely going to snow in a few hours if the weather forecast was to be believed, a little change in his attitude, a dose of sadness that crept up. I learned not to press him about what's on his mind. He was pretty straightforward when he wanted to be and when he didn't it was best to leave him be. I let him decide what he needed, what he wanted. And when he was ready to let me in on it he didn't use many words.

I was already half asleep when I felt him cuddle up to me and nudge his face into the crook of my neck so he can lay featherlike kisses all over my skin. I blinked up into the darkness to find it slowly brightening since the sun was about to rise soon. I rolled in his embrace facing him as he leaned in and delivered a peck after a peck on my lips so gently and slowly it was like he was barely touching me.

"What's wrong?", I whispered sliding my fingers from his temple to his cheek.

"Nothing", he reassured me, but I could see his eyes glistening slightly.

"Can I make it better?", I asked as his hands slid around my waist.

He nodded before he captured my lower lip with his gingerly clearly giving me a sign we were done talking. My hands moved fast down his body, but he caught them unhurriedly pushing them back up while shaking his head.

"Slowly", he instructed and I finally understood what he was asking for.

He wanted gentleness, a tender and steady pace, an escape for the long night and from whatever had him upset. We've tried doing that before, but we never succeeded. We were craving each other so much, all the time, we'd just get too impatient to let passion consume us as fast as it could. But for some reason he was hurting, I could see it, feel it and he wanted my comfort. He wanted to get lost in my embrace and hide himself under the security of my love. For some reason the darkness he usually chased away from me was clawing its way into him tonight and I was viciously determined to beat it back.

 ***M***

His kisses were still soft and almost sluggish as he moved them from my lips to my neck and lower. It was like he was half asleep and completely awake at the same time. His hands took forever to travel down my body, but I enjoyed every moment, mimicking his unrushed movements as I tangled my fingers into his already messy hair.

I wiggled a little when I felt his warm breath on my belly and I felt his lips pull only slightly, like he just couldn't help a tiniest smile upon my reaction. When he reached my most private parts and his fingers barely noticeably curled around my panties my breath caught. He took his time there too, brushing his lips and the tip of his tongue over the sensitive skin that burned upon his touch in a way that made me more needy than I thought was possible.

When his lips finally met mine again I felt like he was helping me breathe and taking my breath away simultaneously. It was something I've never felt before, not like this, not with such intensive desire to stay in this moment forever. I hugged him, my arms curling around his neck as he let his face fall into the messy black pool of my hair on the pillow right next to my ear, his breathing thick and loud, while my legs pulled him down as they rested on his hips.

He reached between us and I bit down on my lips waiting, trying to be as still and as patient as possible before I felt him slide into me inch by inch. When he was buried within me he stopped and I could hear him breathing in the scent of my hair before he pulled his head back and looked at me. I smiled up at him, a small smile, a smile I hoped he could see was filled with immense love for him and I slid my arms down his chest and around his sides so I can trail my fingers up his back.

He was supporting himself on his elbow, but he used his free arm to cup my face, gently rubbing his thumb over my cheek. A few more kisses followed and when he moved he rested his forehead against mine, our breaths melting together as he settled for the slowest pace possible.

 ***M***

His eyes never left mine, except when he briefly closed them, almost only blinked to kiss me, like those kisses where only his way of checking if I'm still there, if I'm real. He wouldn't let go of me, even after hours of kisses and breathless moments, even when we inevitably drifted off to sleep.

I knew, right then. He is mine and I am his. It didn't matter when we met, it could have been years ago, it could have been yesterday. No matter what happens to us, no matter how long we stay together, no matter our fates that's the way it is. It's so simple. I know it seems silly, but this is it. This is the man I chose to give my heart and soul to, the only one, now and forever regardless of what tomorrow brings. It's like they say, you just know when it's right, you just feel it. I've loved before, but I have never and I will never love anyone like I love him. Period. Even if I wanted to, I wouldn't be able to. The only thing left was to see whether this love will kill us or keep us alive.

 **POV: Adrian**

I stared out of the window into the dying rays of sun playing on the fresh layer of pristine white shimmering snow. It seemed like everything was covered in a thick blanket of diamonds. It was peaceful and quiet, inviting in a way. The window fogged before my face, warning me that despite its beauty, the silver cover outside was far from warm and gentle. It was an illusion. I was used to those. Looking at the scene in front of me was like dreaming and stepping into that dream would plunge me back harshly into the cruel reality.

I took a deep breath to clear the haze the Spirit has momentarily created in my head. Letting my air out I made the little circle of fog on the window spread even wider.

I cast a look back towards the bed. There she was. Her beauty was almost unearthly, breathtaking. Her silky hair was sprawled over the pillow like spilled ink. The dim light of the dusk was hugging her face, her cheeks showing traces of a pinkish blush, her sweet, red lips still slightly swollen from the countless kisses I laid on them throughout the night, her gorgeous eyes hidden behind her closed eyelids. She seemed younger, careless, like she, for just a second, forgot about all of those horrific things that haunted her still. It was unnerving to me that I couldn't seem to make them go away permanently. But in moments like this my heart overflowed with joy, knowing that I was the one that kept her nightmares away.

Her breathing was so soft her chest barely moved. Completing the atmosphere outside it almost made the world seem to stand still. Her hands were encircling my pillow and her legs were entangled with the covers.

I tried remembering the first time I saw her. It was only a few months ago, but it already seemed like an eternity to me. I knew, didn't I? The first time I laid my eyes on her, I knew there was something about her, something so magnetic, so hypnotizing and so very dangerous. Yes, it was dangerous how much she has come to mean to me in such a short period of time. The love I felt for her erased everything and everyone else. This sweet, little angel curled up in my bed stole my heart with her first kiss, maybe even before that.

I walked over to the bed and gently settled down next to her, pushing away one lost strand of her hair that lay on her face. She stirred almost unnoticeably, but I knew she was slowly being drawn out of the endless depths of the dreams roaming inside her head. I ran the tip of my fingers over her cheek, barely touching her soft skin. Still, I felt that burning I always felt upon touching her and she obviously felt it too, since her eyes opened lazily and her sleepy gaze traveled up to meet mine.

"Hey Handsome", she murmured her hand drifting slowly from the pillow to my cheek.

"Morning Gorgeous", I whispered sliding closer to her.

"Why are you up this early?", she asked blinking to chase away the remains of sleep from her eyes.

"I couldn't sleep", I responded, but upon seeing the alarmed look on her face added, "I had to maintain my tradition."

She knew, she knew very well how restless I felt last night, how my mood plummeted, how Spirit's darkness that tormented us both snuck up on me. She knew, but she didn't say a word, she showed me that she understood, showed me she was willing to fight it with me, just like I was willing to do the same with her. I was eternally grateful for that, to have someone like her, to have her.

Just like always, she chose not to make a fuss about my obvious avoidance to explain what the cause of the turmoil was last night, so she simply asked: "What kind of tradition?"

"It's a boring, childish story", I mumbled looking away.

Her fingers traveled to my chin and she gently pulled my head back to face her and with a small, encouraging smile she prompted: "Tell me."

I exhaled as I felt a mix of happiness and sadness filling me up before I decided there was no going around it anymore. This story will uncover what I've been hiding, but it was only fair to let her in just like she has let me in.

"I was always fascinated by snow when I was a kid. I thought it was something magical, especially in those moments when the wind would stop blowing and snowflakes would just gently twirl around in the air before melting into the ground", I breathed out, "And every time winter came, and the first snow settled on the Court, my aunt would come into my house, to my room, just before the dusk ended. She would wake me up, two cups of hot chocolate in her hands and always say the same thing ' _Look outside Adrian, there is a surprise for you'._ "

I stopped since I could almost hear her voice in my head and frowned before I felt Emma's fingers curled around the hand I rested on the bed. I took a deep breath and continued: "Naturally, I always knew what it was, but I liked pretending to be clueless. I would pull the curtains apart and I would smile so wide my cheeks would hurt afterwards. So the two of us would sit by the window, without uttering a single word and just watch the snow until it was too dark to see it. In those moments she wasn't the Queen, she wasn't the coldhearted bitch everybody thought she was. She was just the woman who loved me more than anyone in the world."

Emma studied me for a while before saying: "You miss her."

It was more like a conclusion than a question, but I answered regardless: "Very much, yes."

"I'm sorry you lost her."

"Yeah, me too", I whispered giving her a crooked smile.

We were quiet for a while, just getting lost in each other's eyes until the natural light outside was finally replaced by the street lamps.

"Let's go outside", Emma suddenly spoke up.

"It's freezing", I observed.

"We'll keep each other warm", she chuckled, "I think it's time we both made new traditions."

She kissed me lightly, then slid off of the bed and disappeared into the bathroom. I followed her intrigued by her idea. Joining her in front of the mirror I asked: "So what was yours? Tradition, I mean?"

She looked up, finding my eyes again in it and responded: "My dad and I would light a fire and sit in front of it eating candy while listening to sappy Christmas songs, even if Christmas was weeks away sometimes. I don't even remember when and why we started doing that, but it kind of stuck around even when I was older."

She too felt the loss of somebody she loved, the loss of a tradition that maybe seemed little at a time, but meant a lot more now that it was no longer possible. I found my words fast, not wanting to bring her down any longer.

"So what is our tradition going to be?"

"You'll have to wait and see, now won't you?", she chuckled giving me a wink.

 **POV: Emilia**

Adrian's assumption wasn't wrong. It _was_ freezing, it was arctic. Luckily, we at least head enough sense to dress up like Eskimos. We stopped and stared at the carpet of glistening white bundles in front of us for a few brief moments before I slipped my hand into Adrian's tugging him after me. We dashed through the yard, our feet falling deep into the snow with every step we made, only the sound of the crunching beneath us and our laughs echoing through the empty space around us, the malicious wind blowing those sounds like a boomerang back at us. Once we were half way through the yard I stopped and wiggled around to face him.

"Close your eyes", I ordered and he listened with no doubt.

I placed my hands on his chest and tiptoed my way to kiss his lips. I used his lack of concentration to push him with all my strength and knock him down. His eyes flew open and with one swift movement he kicked the snow beneath my legs making it crumple and landing me right next to him.

Giggles erupted from my throat as he chuckled: "So what now?"

"Now we make snow angels", I announced rolling over so my head was next to his and my body pointing in the other direction.

"That's your big new tradition? Gorgeous, I have to say it, your creativity level is alarmingly bad", he exclaimed.

"Hey, it's not what you do, it's who you do it with, right?"

"I stand corrected", he admitted casting a look towards me, "It'll be my honor to make snow angles with you from this day until the day I die."

"Drama Queen", I chuckled rolling my eyes.

His laugh rang into the slowly calming wind, followed by the sound of his feet and hands shuffling. I moved too and when I was done I stayed there, just lying in my fluffy bed of snow. I turned my head slightly, feeling the icy snow bite into my cheek. Adrian was gazing upon the sky, his emerald eyes so painstakingly focused on it, I had to make a serious effort not to burst into giggles again. I didn't want to distract him. He was so mesmerizing, so radiant in that moment, I couldn't look away from him even if I wanted to. He suddenly turned to me as well and I whispered: "Beautiful."

"What is?", he asked snapping back to reality.

"Your eyes, so divine, so perfect. Despite what you may think, I believe my eyes barely make par. Yours took my breath away the first time I saw them. My gorgeous, shiny emeralds."

"Actually, they gave you your breath back if I recall correctly", he teased, but his cheeks turned slightly more red than they were from the cold.

 _My God, did I just make Adrian Ivashkov blush?_

He suddenly tucked his hand behind my neck and pulled me to kiss him. His kiss warmed me up from head to toe making me forget all about the cold blanket hugging my body. As the kiss gained intensity we ended up gliding over the snow until I was safely tucked underneath his body. He slipped his gloves off and his hands cupped my face burning even more than the ice did. I gripped his jacket tightly forcing him closer to me. His lips left mine so that they can travel down to my neck underneath my scarf. I could feel his warm breath spreading over my sensitive skin. He really loved kissing me there, perhaps because of my unsubtle and horny reaction to it every time. It was crazy how turned on I was just by his kisses. If it wasn't so bitterly cold I would have ripped his clothes of and-.

"Adrian? Emilia? What the hell are you doing?"

Adrian broke the kiss and glanced up with a mischievous smile playing on his lips as he chuckled: "What does it look like Little Dhampir?"

"Oh God no, not that nickname again", Rose exclaimed earning a laugh from Lissa who was standing next to her.

Adrian pushed himself off of the ground and cleaned the remains of the snow from his clothes. Lifting me up he wrapped a hand around me and allowed me to lean against him. It was a good thing too, since my legs were still pretty shaky from the _excitement_ I just had.

"What's up?", I asked trying to sound casual. I guess it was a good thing I can blame the weather from the blush on my cheeks.

"Lissa wanted to talk to you and I tagged along for a walk, thought now that we are here, I think I should have just stayed safe and warm under my blanket. It's like we're in Russia", Rose explained before casting a look towards the house.

"You do know Russia isn't Antarctic right?", I chuckled.

"You sound just like Dimitri", she exclaimed laughing, "I meant the not so warm parts of Russia, okay?"

"Sure Rose", I laughed, "We should go inside then before you turn into a penguin."

Once Adrian and I were out of our wet clothes we sat down with Lissa and Rose in the living room.

"This better be worth breaking up our makeup session", Adrian joked putting the teapot down in front of us.

Rose laughed and retorted in a playful way with a dirty comment, but her words didn't register with me since I spaced out focusing on Lissa. Her smile felt a little off and I could see her aura shifting as the time passed, letting me know she was upset. Even without looking at her aura, I could tell something was bothering her.

"I don't really know how to say this in a right way, so I'm just going to go ahead and say it", she suddenly spoke up fixing her gaze, which previously lingered on the ground, up on my eyes.

"Say what?", I asked my voice barely above a whisper as fear seized me slowly.

She swallowed audibly before she proceeded in a slightly shaky voice: "I found your cousin. I found Avery."

* * *

 **Chapter song: Light a fire - Rachel Taylor**

 **Emilia's first POV is the addition to this chapter, thought I should let you guys know in case there is somebody here who is rereading my story currently!**

 **The song of the chapter, or rather its lyrics were pretty inspirational when it came to writing this chapter, so give it a listen if you'd like! (That pretty much goes for the whole "playlist" of this story)!**


	21. CH21 - Whisper

**POV: Emilia**

 **3 years ago**

I licked my lips again, slowly swiping my tongue over the traces of blood that were smeared onto them. I leaned against the railing of the balcony setting my eyes on the garden bellow me. I could smell the rose bushes from where I was standing. Their scent was strong and sweet, unnervingly sweet. I crumpled my nose and brought the glass I held in my hand to my lips. I took a big gulp relishing the taste of blood and wine mixing in my mouth.

I tried remembering where I was. London? Paris? Rome? I guess places and people just started melting into one long, bloodthirsty driven rampage after a while.

Downing the rest of my drink I tossed the glass over the balcony and listened to it shatter against the ground. I skipped over the dead guy lying on the floor and snatched the wine bottle from the table. I heard a muffled cry coming from the girl that was still sitting on the bed tied to the bedpost with a cloth stuck in her mouth. I climbed next to her as she tried desperately to wiggle away from me.

"Don't be scared, it's alright", I reassured her, but my voice lacked any comfort whatsoever.

She just wept into the cloth and started shaking, her terrified eyes fixed on mine.

"I'm going to remove this", I explained impatiently tugging the fabric from her mouth, "And you are going to be a good girl and keep your voice down. Now, tell me, which city are we in?"

"Praha", she mumbled in a low voice.

 _Ah, Prague, that's right_. I tried remembering how I ended up here in the first place, while I took a sip from the bottle. No luck. The girl's eyes never left my face and as tears rolled down her cheeks she stammered out: "Prosím, nezabíjejte mě."

"Sorry, darling, you're going to have to translate that", I chuckled monotonously.

"Please, don't kill me", Alexei suddenly spoke up making me twitch.

I didn't even notice his return to our room. I turned to look at him, my eyebrow shooting up as I asked: "What?"

"That's what she said to you", he explained dropping his keys on the table and stripping his jacket off.

"Oh", I exclaimed turning my attention back to the sniveling mess next to me, "Don't worry darling. I'm not going to kill you, yet."

"I don't think she knows English, Love", he chuckled joining me on the bed.

His hand traveled up my back and around my neck. He pulled me towards him and when I faced him he slammed his lips against mine in a fierce kiss. Moving back slightly he looked at me with the look as closes to fondness as a Strigoi can get and said: "Моя богиня."

"Goddess? I thought I was your Queen."

"You can be any of it and all of it my Sweet", he proposed taking the bottle I was holding, "Are we awakening her or killing her?"

"Awakening", I responded glancing at the girl again.

He studied her for a second and then commented: "Doesn't she remind you of that cousin of yours? What is it that you called her, Aya?".

"Ava", I responded through gritted teeth as I scanned the girl up and down again, "She does resemble her slightly."

Before I even knew what I was doing, I got up harshly, ripping the rope she was tied with and dragging her with me to the balcony. She was sobbing by now. I knew we didn't need to speak the same language in order for her to understand there was no way any of this will end well for her. I looked at her glossy blue eyes and thought of Avery. _My dear cousin_. Those words sounded so strange to me, they had no emotions, no love, no feelings in them whatsoever. I loved her once and now she was just a long lost memory. _And she should stay just that._

I put almost no effort into tossing the girl over the balcony. She was as light as a feather, but she landed on the pavement with a loud crack. I walked back in closing the door behind me.

"I thought we were awakening her", Alexei observed bluntly leaning back on the bed.

"I changed my mind", I retorted kneeling to sink my teeth into the guy underneath me so I can suck him dry.

 _I don't want anything reminding me of how it used to feel having someone who loves you_ , I wanted to add, but that just wasn't in my nature anymore. I liked it like this. I liked being detached. And I loved the voices in my head not being there anymore to tell me the things I didn't want to hear.

 **Present**

I woke up with a dreadful felling. Not just because of the nightmares about my horrible past that even Adrian didn't manage to keep away last night, but because of the thing that awaited me as I opened my eyes. Today was the day. The day I finally get to see Avery after so long. I would be lying if I said it didn't freak me the hell out.

Adrian offered to go with me and I accepted it graciously because I couldn't possibly imagine going through this alone. Almost through the entire ride to the hospital though we were both silent and with each mile passing I felt worse.

"You need to try to relax", Adrian remarked startling me so much by the sudden sound he made that I almost crashed into the car surpassing me, "The closer we are getting, the more darkness is slipping into your aura."

"I'm trying", I blurted out focusing on the road while trying to keep the car in our intended lane.

"Do you want me to drive?", he prompted obviously noticing my unsteadiness.

"It's fine. I can drive. Besides it keeps me preoccupied."

"Okay", he replied simply putting a lot more trust in me than he should, before going back to being mute.

As we drew into the parking lot I began feeling sick. I got out of the car, my legs shaking so much I could barely stand. Placing my hand on the hood I bent over trying not to puke.

"Are you okay?", Adrian asked hurrying to me and holding me up, "I know it sound impossible when it comes to you, but you really don't look so good."

I managed a weak smile and replied: "Fine. Just, you know, having a slight panic attack, nothing serious."

"We don't have to go in if you don't want to. We can get back into the car and drive away", he suggested and I know he meant it. He would get back in the car and take me miles away if I wanted him to. He'd do it without a doubt in his mind. But as tempting as his offer sounded I knew I had no other choice but to do this. This was the least I could do. So I shook my head, trying to stand as straight as I could and I stated: "No. I need to see her. She is my cousin. If there is a way for me to help her, make her feel better, I need to try. I know you're not the biggest fan of her, but please, help me do this."

"It doesn't matter if I'm a fan or not. You know damn well I'd do anything for you. Just let me know if it gets worse, okay?", he stressed confirming my earlier thoughts.

I just nodded before casting a look towards the hospital. The building looked more like a hotel than an institution, aside from the very visible bars on the windows. The lawn around it was beautiful and the path leading to the entrance bathed in warm yellow lights.

"Can you feel them?", Adrian asked as we walked up to the entrance.

"Who?", I questioned frowning as I glanced around like that might explain what he was referring to.

"Spirit User. There is a few of them in there", he mumbled showing discomfort upon his words.

I tuned into the Spirit and picked up on the same thing. The very thought sent shivers down my spine.

Adrian's hand catching mine made me move again and we made our way inside. We stopped when we reached the counter where we were greeted by a middle aged woman sitting there. Her blond hair was neatly tucked into a bun and her makeup and nails were done flawlessly. She looked more like a receptionist working for a fashion magazine or an elite beauty salon than a madhouse. She looked up at us and smiled in a fake polite way.

"Can I help you?"

"We are here to see a patient, Avery Lazar", I stammered feeling my stomach flip again at the mention of her name.

"And you are?"

"Her cousin", I responded sliding my ID over the counter.

She tapped on her keyboard for about a minute before picking up the phone dialing someone. Seconds later a nurse appeared from a nearby room, greeting us with a polite smile and what I thought to be an overly cheerful voice.

"Welcome to The Fox Recovery Center, we are always glad to see new guests."

 _Like I said, more like a hotel_.

"Will you follow me please?", the nurse added turning on her heal.

I looked at Adrian, noticing a look of amusement on his face. I guess I wasn't the only one confused by the staff's behavior. We followed her down the hallways and I soon realized that the area around the counter was going to be the last hotel like part of the establishment we'll see. I mean the rest wasn't really a horror movie asylum, it was more like the setting in "Girl, Interrupted", but a lot less fancier than the lobby that's for sure.

After a while the nurse stopped in front of the door marked with numbers 243 and turning to us announced: "Here we go. She is in there. Good luck. I'll be outside if you need me."

I looked at Adrian in panic, but he just squeezed my hand and nudged me inside. The room we walked into was just like I expected it to be, bare walls painted in light shades of blue, one bared window, a few lonely pieces of furniture all extremely almost unnaturally white, rounded, safe and plain. It was the kind of room I feared I might end up in one day. As my eyes darted across the space before me I noticed a girl curled up in a ball in the corner, her back prompted against the wall and her arms wrapped around her legs, dressed in the same shiny white colored clothes. She was skinny, too skinny. Her face was buried in a tangled up mess of lifeless black strands of hair. She seemed like she wasn't even breathing, her body was perfectly still, like she was trying to blend in with the walls that surrounded her.

 _This is my Ava_. I felt an ache in my heart growing as I stepped forward slowly, still clinging to Adrian and whispered in a cracked voice: "Avery."

She didn't move, didn't even flinch. She was still an inanimate bundle. So I tried again, like introducing myself might help: "Avery, it's me Emilia."

Nothing. I looked back at Adrian and he shrugged, but I could see obvious signs of discomfort and sadness on his face. He moved to stand next to me again as he spoke up in a voice louder than mine trying to catch her attention: "Avery, we just want to talk to you."

Just like me he failed. I reluctantly let go of his hand and took one more uncertain step towards her as I breathed out one word like a question and an answer in the same time: "Ava."

I questioned my sanity more times than I can count, I spent hours thinking, researching, looking for the answers, desperately trying to figure out what was wrong with me, where was that darkness coming from, why were those strange voices devouring my mind? And now, after so, so long, those voices in my head all merged into one, clear, familiar voice.

" _Hello, cousin!"_

 **POV: Avery**

 **5 years ago**

 _PTSD, losing track of time, blackouts, panic attacks, trances, depression, schizophrenia-._ I slammed my laptop shut and wrapped the blanket tighter around my body. My eyes hurt from staring at the screen for hours. I was no closer to finding what I was looking for and I felt like I was drowning. I grabbed my cellphone from the nightstand and scrolled through my contacts list, stopping when I reached E. I stared at her name for solid ten minutes, but then reluctantly switched the phone off and tossed it onto the bed.

I felt the familiar itch again, like bugs crawling all over my ribs and arms. I scratched franticly, feeling the anger build up inside of me. When I stopped, I looked at my fingers and saw traces of blood underneath my nails. Jumping from the bed, I raced to the mirror and shrieked upon seeing red lines all over my arms. And then I collapsed.

 _My eyes were set on the horizon as I admired the sunset. I felt a cold breeze coming from the window so I tightened the bedsheet around myself. The colors splashed over the sky were beautiful and calming._

 _Strong, warm arms encircled my waist as his chest slid against my back. I leaned into his embrace, resting my head on his shoulder. He kissed my temple, my cheek, my neck and shoulder. His voice came out as a whisper, sending goosebumps over my body:_ " _Why are you up малышка?"_

" _I couldn't sleep", I answered in a strange voice followed by a sigh._

" _Anything I can do to help?", he asked fingers brushed my hair down gently._

" _Not really", I muttered as_ _I closed the window catching our reflection in it._

 _His hair was loosely hanging around his face, the face so flawless it was like he was a god or something, his gorgeous brown eyes were swimming in sadness and worry, but they were still overflowed with love in the same time, while my eyes shone with all their violet intensity, fixing his, trying to convey that love back._

 _ **Wait what? My eyes aren't violet! They are blue!**_

 _I turned around to face him and he kissed me. Everything about this scene seemed familiar, but still I looked down at the hands that weren't mine, the lips that melted into his didn't belong to me._

 _ **Who the hell was I? I need to stop. Something is wrong here.**_

 _The rage started building up again. I wanted to run, but my hands slid around his neck and I kept kissing him._

 _ **No, stop! You need to stop! STOP!**_

" _Stop", I mumbled into his lips pushing him away._

" _What?", he asked confused, his eyes searching my face like he was trying to determine if he heard me correctly._

" _You need to stop", I repeated my voice shaky._

" _Милая, what's wrong?"_

 _ **What's wrong is that you are a piece of shit who just wants to drag me to bed.**_

" _Who the hell are you?", I exclaimed._

" _Eka, it's me Dimitri", he breathed out in shock._

 _ **Emilia? You can hear me?**_

 _I realized then why everything seemed so familiar. And beyond all reason I knew somehow that I was in Emilia's head._

" _Yes I can hear you, now get out of my head", she screamed out._

" _Emilia, you are scaring me, who are you talking to?", he stammered trying to reach for her as she jerked backwards._

 _ **You don't recognize me?**_

" _I don't know any of you", she continued and then looking back at Dimitri she cried out, "Mitya, something's wrong with me, I, I can hear voices in my head."_

My eyes snapped open and I saw my reflection in the mirror as I lay sprawled over the floor. Traces of gold lingered in my eyes and they began fading away as tears replaced them.

 **POV: Emilia**

" _You don't recognize me?_ _He didn't show up, he doesn't love you. You are a fool, you should have known better. Tell him, tell him everything, see how he'll feel. Hurt him. Kill him. And what make you think there is more of us? Ever heard of an_ _echo_ _?"_

The words ringing through my head again felt like knifes being plunged into my heart. My knees buckled and I sank to the bed holding on to the bedframe for support. Adrian just looked at me confused and worried, unable to follow what was going on inside my head. _It was her this whole time?_

That's when she finally moved. She looked up at us, her face like the one straight out of a horror movie. Her blue eyes were shining and her lips twitched into a bloodcurdling smile. It hurt me just thinking it, but her state and the way she looked could have only been described by one word - evil.

"Why?", I murmured feeling tears burn the inside of my throat as I tried to hold them back.

She didn't respond, she just lunched at me. She moved so fast it took both Adrian and I completely off guard. He tried stopping her, but she slammed into him and sent him flying towards the floor. She gripped my hair so tightly she almost ripped it off as she hurled me towards the corner she was sitting in, knocking my head into a wall. I tried to free myself from her grasp blindly kicking backwards as I cried out: "Avery, stop, what are you doing?"

I managed to hit her leg, making her crumple to the floor next to me. I cast a look over my shoulder and saw Adrian reaching for the handle of the door, probably in an attempt to get help, before I felt a blast of energy next to me.

"Nobody's leaving", Avery screamed in a voice that made my skin crawl and the next thing I know Adrian flew over the room and crashed into the window.

I screamed too, as his body slumped to the ground unconscious. I heard somebody banging on the door, but I was distracted by Avery suddenly seizing my arms.

"You shouldn't have come here малышка. Is that how he called you? How does this one call you?", she snapped, her eyes wondering swiftly to Adrian and then back to me.

"Avery please, you don't have to do this. I can help you. We can make this better", I pleaded.

"Help me, hah, oh cousin I'm so over you helping me. The last time you tried helping this happened", she ranted spreading her arms like there was something in particular I was supposed to see. Guessing my confusion she continued: "Do you want to know what happens when a spirit user becomes shadow kissed? I'll tell you what happens!"

She picked me up and shoved me to the bed. I had no idea where her strength, both physical and magical, was coming from and I was surprised by how helpless I felt against her.

"You see every Spirit User has a bit of darkness inside of them. The more you use Spirit the more room you leave for the darkness to slip in. And when you die and come back, when you become shadow kissed, when your mind gets liked to another's, well then it's a freaking party in there isn't it?", she screamed franticly patting her hand against my head trying to prove her point somehow.

"So then you have your own darkness, the darkness that comes from the other side that you are tattered to and the darkness sipping in from your bond mate. Total anarchy. You know balance lost, scales being tipped over. That's when you start losing your mind, start slipping into those spirit induced trances and you're helpless. I would just pop into your head and start saying things, things I didn't want to say, but couldn't stop them from coming out of my mouth. So I tormented you, because the darkness made me torment you until you were gone."

I fell from the bed and tried getting up, but she landed a kick on my stomach making me gasp and curl into a ball because of the pain.

"But then, then you just had to come back and when your soul found its way back into you, so did I. See, I was there in the darkness with you and when you woke up in the hospital, I told you to say help me, when you saw Adrian, because truthfully I needed help. There was no help for me though so I just had to stay through everything else after that. But you see, I'm tired of going crazy because of you so it's time for you to disappear again."

Her hands slipped around my neck and she tightened them so much I thought she was going to rip my head off. I clawed at her hands watching her in horror as I fought for air. She sat down on me, pressing me into the ground and rendering my escape from her impossible.

"Bye, bye Ems", she spat out with hatred.

My lunges burned and my vision became dim. I was seconds away from passing out when, suddenly, Avery got lifted off of me and I began coughing like crazy. I managed to raise my head up as Adrian, whose grip was on Avery, screamed: "Run."

Beyond all reason I somehow managed to scramble to my feet and get to the door. The hospital staff probably failed to enter the room because Avery was blocking it, but with her guard down and powers drained, I managed to open it, allowing all of them to burst inside. They worked fast. She was out of Adrian's arms and tied to the bed in seconds, a nurse plunging a syringe with a sedative into her neck. She screamed at the top of her lungs and mumbled words that were unrecognizable. I stood at the door shaking, until Adrian rushed to me and forced me out of the room. Her screams followed us down the hallway. I was so shocked I didn't even realize we got out of the hospital. Adrian pressing me down to the passenger seat was the first thing I registered. He kneeled between my legs and reached for my forehead. I felt warmth speeding from where his palm touched me and when he pulled his hand back I saw my blood all over it. It must have been from the injury caused my facetime with the wall.

"Are you alright? Did she hurt you anywhere else?", he asked in a frantic voice scanning me up and down.

"I'm fine", I replied numbly.

"I don't get it, why would she do that, why would she attack you?", Adrian blurted out casting a frowny look towards the hospital, like he could see Avery through those walls.

"It was her, the whole time", I mumbled dragging his attention back to me, "When I brought her back we bonded and she was overflowed with all the worst parts of the spirit, the voices, it was just her all along, I-."

"But when you turned the bond surely broke, it doesn't make any sense."

"No, Avery's soul stayed connected to mine somehow and once I was restored the bond just sparked back up. That means she was connected to my soul when it was swallowed by darkness, hate and coldness, making her mind bathe in all of those horrific things."

"Okay, say all of that is true, that still doesn't clarify to me the reason she attacked you", he fumed clearly still worried about the injuries she caused.

"She blames me for everything. She said she was going crazy because of me. Is this really my fault?", I whispered in dejection.

Adrian stayed quiet for a while, trying to process everything and when he spoke again his voice was the most serious one I have ever heard him use: "You saved her life and instead of living it she allowed herself to give into the spirits pressure and let her mind slip into madness. She obviously didn't fight it as nearly as much as she should have and then she pushed _you_ to the breaking point, she caused your downfall, making herself go off the dip end as well. You can't blame yourself for any of that. It was out of your hands."

I buried my head into the seat feeling the growing throbbing inside of it. I just wanted to be away from this place, her, my doubts and the pain, so I found myself mumbling: "Can we go home now?"

"Sure, but what about Avery, do we just leave her here?", Adrian asked prudently.

"That wasn't Avery. My Ava is gone. She died in that park in Russia. There is nothing more I can do for her", I whispered pulling my legs into the car and slumping against my seat utterly defeated.

On our way back home all I could think about was how hard I fought to get my life back together, how much I wanted things to go back to normal and how, in ten minutes, all of it came crumbling down into nothingness. _If you couldn't save me, what makes you think you can save yourself?_ , Avery's voice was faint and weak in my head from the sedatives numbing her down, but it still burned through my mind making me, for the first time, crave the oblivion being a Strigoi offered.

 _What if I go over the edge again?_ I looked at Adrian, his hands firmly gripping the wheel, his beautiful features overshadowed by dark emotions boiling inside of him, his eyes fixed on the road ahead, but his mind clearly elsewhere. I reached out for his hand and he instantly lowered it, cuddling mine inside the warmth of his fingers. He briefly allowed his eyes to drift to me and gave me the brightest, most supportive smile he could conjure up in the moment. _No_ , I thought, _I won't fall down this time_. Not as long as his hand held mine. And somehow I knew he wasn't planning to ever let it go.

* * *

 **Chapter song: Whisper - Evanescence**

 **To avoid confusions - The Fox Recovery Center is not a real facility (I think!). I just made the name up on the spot and kind of rolled with it.**

 **From original AN: Avery's POV might have been confusing because of the bold and italic stuff, so let me explain it: I used italic since she was obviously inside Emilia's head and I used bold for the things she said to Emilia (aka the voices E heard)! I hope that cleared things up a little if it was difficult to follow. And once again I'll repeat that Emilia thought she was hearing more voices, but it was just Avery's echo, so I hope that's clear enough now too!**


	22. CH22 - Addicted To You

**POV: Rose**

"Okay, Comrade, prepare to have your ass kicked", I exclaimed stretching my arms above my head and wiggling my eyebrows as Dimitri smiled and stepped forward cracking his head to the side slightly.

I jumped up and down a few times, playfully rounding him. He stood perfectly still, though his eyes followed me carefully. He knew me too well so he knew that, the minute he looked away, I'd pounce in an attempt to catch him off guard. When he decided to move we danced around each other for a while before clashing into a fight.

I remembered the first time we fought. Though I was pretty skilled for my age and education, I was no match for him, not even close. The one thing that remained from that time was that I still felt the same electricity, excitement and sexual tension that I felt with him from the very start. But unlike then I was his equal now. That didn't mean I'd win every time, but it meant I could match his strength, agility, technique and even concentration which I always used to lack.

We practiced a lot, we liked keeping each other sharp, but above all this was our thing. Sparing with him is when I felt most like I'm at home, I felt like there was no one else in the world but me and him. Most couples considered other more normal activities to be their thing, but we never were like most couples anyway.

We fought for a while, both managing a few maneuvers that earned the other ones approval or admiration. I held my ground stubbornly until I got a perfect opening. I should have known it was a trap, but I was eager to take the victory, too eager, since I loved "healing" Dimitri's bruised ego afterwards in rather inventive ways. Just as I was about to deliver what I thought would be my final blow he surprised me, sliding out of my reach and elegantly knocking me down on the mat ass first. _Ouch._

"See, I can still beat you Roza", he commented standing above me with a smug look on his face as the stars I saw upon hitting the ground faded, getting replaced by the shinnying of his eyes.

The good thing was that nobody saw my embarrassing defeat since we were training at home. The only condition I had when we were moving in was that our apartment had an extra room that we could turn into our own personal gym for all of those workout-make-out sessions I had in mind and was currently in the middle of executing.

"You just got lucky, I was distracted", I argued feeling a shiver work its way up my spine as I scanned him.

A couple of strands of hair escaped from his hair tie, there was a small wet circle forming at the bottom of the neckline of his shirt and his face was slightly, barely visibly flushed. He wore a simple, white t-shirt, but it was tight and hugging his body so that every flex of his muscles was visible through it and the sweatpants I absolutely adored just completed the picture before me. A small smile playing on his lips made me feel warmer than this whole session has. Putting it simple he looked sexy as hell in his disheveled state and I couldn't try to look anywhere else even if I wanted to, which I didn't, just for the record.

"What were you distracted by?", he asked innocently.

"How hot you look right now", I answered fighting to think beyond my horniness.

Using his momentary lack of concentration I kicked his legs landing him on top of me. I flashed him a wide grin as he prompted himself on his elbows to look at me.

"See, you can't beat me", I boasted as he chuckled softly.

He didn't bother answering me instead he lowered his lips to mine intoxicating me with his kiss. We kissed gently at first, but soon our kissing turned into a fight of its own.

 ***M***

We battled to rip each other's clothes off and as soon as there was no fabric left between us he rolled me over onto my stomach, grabbed my hips and pulled me up so that I was on my hands and knees. Lowering his lips he playfully bit my butt cheek causing giggles to erupt from my throat. Soon, those giggles were replaced by a soft gasp as he pushed himself against me. One of his hands traveled up my thigh slipping between my legs and the other tangled into my hair. His fingers teased me and I wiggled, silently urging him to go faster. He straightened up and yanked me by my hair so that I was left on my knees, but my back was against his chest.

"Be patient", he sharply whispered into my ear sending goosebumps down my neck and arms.

"Another Zen lesson?", I breathed out through a smile that he couldn't see, but probably knew damn well it was there.

He chuckled and answered by sliding two fingers inside of me. I gasped throwing my head back, exposing myself to him even more. He was the only one, the only one in the world I'd feel so comfortable with, so safe that I could let all the fragility of my body show and trust him to not use it to his advantage, trust him to guard me from any harm.

His other hand drifted from my hair to my breasts. He played with my nipples synchronizing his movements with the ones his other hand was making. I moaned pushing my ass against his marvelous hard manhood and started grinding against him in an attempt to matching his pace. It was hard for me to do much, to use my brain or any other part of my body when he torturously pushed me into the state split between bliss and anticipation of what is to come.

Speeding up he made my body shake so much I thought I might slip from his grasp and slam down into the mat, since keeping myself in my current position was becoming harder by the second. All of my energy and focus transferred into the now dissolving self-control and endeavors to let him continue his dominance over me.

I was dripping wet by the time he pushed me back down and grabbed my hips so tight I felt the line between pain and pleasure mixing. He stopped for a moment, I felt his palms twitch like he just realized his grip might have been too hard and was afraid he'd hurt me. Somehow I managed to balance my weight as I reached back with one of my hands and clasped his, squeezing his fingers to tighten his hold on me, a silent signal that yes I was fine, no I didn't mind any roughness and hell yeah I wanted this oh so badly right now thus needed him to stop overthinking everything. He always understood my wordless requests, cause he understood every single detail about me, so second later he rammed himself inside of me. I cried out in pleasure, digging my nails into the mat and biting my lower lip. He moved slower than I wanted him to, so I pushed back to meet his thrusts as I breathed out: "Fuck Dimitri, do it like you mean it!"

Under other circumstances he probably would have laughed his ass off at my words, but now he was too busy relishing the waves of pleasure washing over him to care what I was mumbling about. He obliged, reaching a pace so fast and hard I thought I might fall apart underneath him. I lost track of time and where he began and I ended. Grabbing my hair again he jolted my head back plunging in me at the same time and I felt the muscles in my stomach tighten. My legs began shaking and I could literally feel my whole body pulsating, every nerve wide awake. My moans mixed with his grunts were deafening, probably loud enough for the whole neighborhood to hear, but I knew there was no quieting down either of us now.

"Dimitri", I moaned out seconds before reaching the top of the world and crashing down in a blissful nirvana.

He was right behind me in every sense possible. My knees buckled and we collapsed to the ground. For a minute we just lay there catching our breaths before we tumbled over so that I ended up curled up next to him relaxing in his embrace.

 ***M***

"You can beat me anytime if this is going to be my consolation price", I chuckled butting his shoulder with my head as he moved his arm to hug me.

He laughed, his chest jumping up as he did and said: "Of course Roza, anything you want."

"Anything?", I questioned with a mischievous grin.

When he moved his head in a nodding manner I somehow came up with the strength to pull myself up and straddle his lap. He sat up hugging me around my waist as I landed a juicy kiss on his lips.

"I'd like some more of this, please", I mumbled rolling my hips and earning his appreciative growl.

 _Bang, bang, bang._ I glanced into the direction of our front door before I cried out and buried my head in the crook of his neck. My words came out muffled as I wined: "You have got to be freaking kidding me!"

"That must be one of our charges", he concluded nuzzling my hair.

"If we ignore them, maybe they'll go away", I suggested pulling my head back to look at him pleadingly, even though I knew our alone time was officially over.

"Come on Roza, we have work to do!"

 **POV: Dimitri**

"Jill just landed", Lissa exclaimed staring at her phone as we walked towards the landing strip, "I already called Adrian. He's going to meet us by the plane."

"Lissa breathe", Roza chuckled squeezing her hand in an attempt to calm her down though it was obvious she was just as excited as her best friend.

Seeing Lissa this ecstatic about her sister's arrival made me long for my own family. I missed them a lot, especially this close to the holidays. Christmas in my country was still half a month away, but I knew I wouldn't get to spend it with them and I found myself wishing that we lived in a different world where Roza and I could just be normal people. If that was the case we'd probably move to Russia and be closer to them, or at least we'd be able to visit any time we wanted to. Perhaps Roza would have the time and opportunity to bond with her parents more as well. But, sadly, that was not our life, so the best I could hope for is that one day when we retire we'll get to do all of those normal things together.

As we approached the plane, we found Jill tucked under Adrian's arm, a wide grin on her face as she looked up to him adoringly. Eka was standing nearby looking at them with a dose of fondness, but her smile seemed a bit forced. She was talking to Jill's guardian, Edison Castile. I didn't know him that well, but Roza was very close to him during her time in the Academy. Apparently he was brave, moral, loyal and an extremely good friend. He was also a very dedicated guardian who has earned a lot of trust from Lissa and Rose, enough to be handed a tremendously important task of guarding the Princess. All I knew about him, aside from what I was told, was that he scored incredible marks on his final test, he seemed to be a well brought up young man and Roza sometimes called him Mini-Dimitri for some reason she never explained to me.

Aside from Castile, there were a few more guardians strategically forming a protective circle around them, but like most guardians they were ghosts, unnoticeable to anyone, but people such as them, other guardians who knew very well what it was like to be someone's shadow. I was lucky to have a different fate than most, to be appreciated and included, to be visible. Twice now. It scared me sometimes how my relationship with Christian reminded me of the one I had with Ivan more and more with every passing day. They were almost completely different when it came to their personalities, but they had a lot in common in other departments. I was blessed and cursed when it came to my charges, I was sure of it. Finding a friend in a charge was wonderful, also motivational in a way that made you want to protect them even more. It was the same reason why losing them was so much harder, because it didn't only mean you failed at your job, but you failed your friend too and you lost someone you loved.

Upon seeing us Jill's smile somehow managed to become even wider. She couldn't even wait for us to approach, instead she ran forward, as all of the guardians carefully watched her, but stayed where they were allowing this family reunion a moment of relative privacy. She gave everyone a hug, even me, which took me off my guard a little. Roza quietly laughed at my confusion, but avoided commenting it probably because she didn't want to add to my embarrassment.

Before Jill's arrival we made arrangements for a private lunch in one of the elite restaurants and by private I mean the restaurant was cleared, secured and opened just for our little group. We weren't taking any chances, not after what happened the last time. Lissa even suggested a meal in their apartment supplying Christian's cooking skills as an excuse, but Roza reassured her that we can handle one lunch out now that we were prepared for the danger. We learned from our mistakes.

As soon as the greetings were over, we made our way towards our destination. Lissa and Roza encircled Jill bombarding her with questions while giggling in a way that reminded me again of how young they actually were despite the seriousness of the roles they had to play. Christian, Eddie and Adrian followed them slipping into their own conversation and I walked in the back scanning the space around us before I remembered something was missing from the picture. I let my eyes travel over the group until I noticed one member falling behind even more than I did. Eka was alone, walking slowly, a frown playing on her face as she seemed to be lost in her thoughts. I started to approach her wanting to ask her what was bothering her, but Adrian was faster. Casting a look over his shoulder, he broke away from the group almost unnoticeably and slowed down his steps so she would catch up to him. I kept my position, the one I reached when I intended to approach Eka since all of the guardians already shifted to fit our new formation, but I tried to leave some space between us so I'd give them at least some resemblance of privacy. I could still hear and see them though.

"Are you okay?", Adrian asked as he eyed her warily.

"I'm fine, don't worry about it", she answered slipping her hand into his like always.

Throughout the time spent around them I realized they tended to act like magnets. The expression I would use is that they couldn't keep their hands off each other, but not in a sexual way. It just seemed like they had a need to physically be close in a way that their bodies would always end up positioning themselves near one another, he would hug her, or hold her hand, or just graze her fingers with his, but they would almost always touch. It was quite fascinating to see.

"I _am_ worried. You haven't said anything about, well, it's been a week and I just want to know what's going on in your head."

"It's been quiet", she responded giving him a sly look like there was some special meaning to the words they exchanged.

He nodded, but his expression was still grim. Before either of them could say anything more we reached the restaurant and all conversation was cut short. Once settled in Jill got all of the attention while she talked about her school, new friends and how great she functioned with Eddie. Roza smiled knowingly at the last part signalizing Lissa her thoughts. Even without the bond they understood each other perfectly through every wordless look they exchanged. After a while I realized what their exchange was about when Jill leaned over to Eddie giving him a brief peck on the cheek making them both blush. I smiled into my chin as I felt Roza graze my leg with hers while she winked at me, her face spread into a wide smile. I'd had to be a blind man not to see Jill and Eddie were involved, even though they seemed to think they were hiding it well. Roza knew I understood what was going on, but she formed a heart shape with her fingers and pointed at them using her eyes only to underline the untold truth, making me laugh.

We were already halfway through lunch when I noticed Eka, who has barely said a word, stiffening up beside me. I gazed down at her and saw her staring at her phone wide-eyed.

"What's wrong?" I asked realizing my voice was a bit too loud a little too late.

Luckily my words were only registered by Roza, who was the only person sitting on our side of the table since Adrian was in the bathroom. She looked our way questioningly. Eka was dumbstruck, so she just turned her phone for us to see. There was a text message opened on it saying:

 _You are starting to forget the things you should remember. We'll have to fix that. With love, A._

"Who is it from?", Roza almost whispered trying not to drag too much attention.

"Avery. Who else? I just don't know where she got the phone from and my number while we are at it", Eka answered regaining her ability to speak, her voice now angry, but a little panicked at the same time.

We all knew about Emilia's visit to her cousin. Both Adrian and she avoided giving us many details, but it was very clear it wasn't a pleasant reunion.

"What does she mean by that?", I asked fearing the whole situation might be more serious than they let on.

"I don't know, she is a lunatic, God knows what she is talking about", Eka's reply sounded almost loftily, but I knew she was just trying to cover up her uncertainness, "It doesn't matter anyway, she is locked up, she can't hurt anyone."

She switched her phone off and stuffed it in her pocket before she looked away in the direction of the bathroom like she was waiting for Adrian to reemerge, clearly letting us know the conversation was finished. Roza reluctantly turned away as well and got back to talking with the rest of the group, while I studied Eka for a few more moments.

Either her momentary shock really passed rather fast or she was just getting better at hiding her feelings. I voted for the later. I wanted to know more, but I knew privacy was something she valued very much and I didn't want to endanger are renewed, but fragile friendship by pushing her when she clearly didn't want to be bothered, so I finally decided to let it go. If I only knew now, how much letting it go will cost us all, I would have never backed down. But, I guess life rarely goes as planned and it is never as simple as we want it to be. The bad part is that most of us learn it the hard way, and so will we.

* * *

 **Chapter song: Addicted to you - Saving Able**

 **From the original AN: This chapter is dedicated to one amazing person, this is for you Swimming! A wonderful writer, a big supporter and just plainly a great person! I hope everything gets sorted out for you so you can continue making MAGIC (cause that's what your stories are)! Thanks for all the support! You're awesome! Hope you liked your lemons (I tried to make them as juicy as possible)! :D**


	23. CH23 - All I Want For Christmas Is You

**1 year ago**

 **POV: Rose**

I couldn't believe that after everything we've been through we were finally here. Our first Christmas together. Something so beautifully ordinary and simple, yet I was ecstatic that I got to share this moment with my little crazy family. I began making plans and arrangements weeks before the holiday, eager to make everything perfect. I kept thinking something will happen, something bad, something to ruin everything I've worked so hard to accomplish, but nothing did. And now that we were minutes away from our get together I was astonished that attire was currently the biggest problem in my life. How was that even possible?

Dimitri was in the bathroom showering as I franticly rumbled through the mess I made in our closet. I was on the verge of crying as I threw away one outfit after the other finding fault in every single one. Coming out of the bathroom Dimitri found me growling in frustration as I slumped down on the bed in utter dejection.

"I don't have anything to wear!", I exclaimed casting a look towards him.

I barely managed to keep my jaw in place upon seeing him wrapped only in a small towel, his chest bare, with water drops lingering on his skin, his damp black hair loosely hanging around his face. How does he do this to me still? I've seen him naked plenty of times by now, yet he made me hot and bothered every single time.

"Come on Roza that's not true, you have plenty of clothes", he chuckled walking up to the horror-show-explosion in the closet and taking his shirt off the hanger while doing a pretty good job of ignoring the mess around him.

He was very neat, his clothes folded and piled into the closet perfectly, whereas I just dumped my things inside until there was no more room left. Sometimes I found him sorting my clothes and hanging them up or fitting them properly on to the shelves when he thought I wasn't looking. He never said anything about my messiness, but I knew he couldn't understand my lack of will to stay organized. I guess you can say I enjoyed my purposefully arranged chaos. Though now I felt bad for disrupting his peace.

"That's not relevant, because nothing is good enough for the occasion. This is important!", I exclaimed jumping to my feet to pick up the clothes into a bundle, dumping them on the bed and franticly folding everything back into the state I found it in, the state he patently put it in for me a few days ago.

"It's just dinner with our friends", he calmly observed putting his shirt away and joining me in my task, "Besides, you look breathtaking regardless of what you wear."

His comment made my legs feel wobbly all of a sudden, even though he's said it time and a time again. My cheeks flushed, but I was too annoyed by my current situation to allow his compliment to set me in a good mood.

"You are just saying that because you love me, not that Lissa doesn't, maybe even Christian does, but it's just, ugh, you don't get it", I retorted with a groan as my phone rang Lissa's ID flashing on the screen like she heard me saying her name.

I picked the phone up with my free hand and answered it before pushed it between my shoulder and ear so I can attempt to multitask. I felt Dimitri run his palm up my back trying to dial down my tension and I relaxed into his touch breathing out into the phone: "Hey."

"I don't have anything to wear", Lissa babbled out in a high-pitched voice.

"I know, right?", I cried out relieved that there was someone out there that could relate.

After almost an hour of coming up with outfit combinations for one another we were all finally ready to go. It took us, oh, about two seconds to switch from our apartment to Lissa's and Christian's, since we were separated by one tin wall. The dinner was more like a double date since Jill left for a brief visit to her parents before she goes back to Saint Vladimir, Eddie went with her now that he was officially her guardian and Adrian, well, he was pretty much nowhere to be found.

Lissa opened the door to greet us and shouted out: "Merry Christmas!"

She jumped into my arms with excitement so big it would sound unbelievable that our phone call occurred merely seconds ago and our last hug about two hours ago. Not having the bond was weird.

I smiled into her hair hugging her even tighter and whispered: "Merry Christmas Lissa."

 **POV: Adrian**

I tapped on my glass signalizing the bartender to pour me another drink. As he approached I snatched a couple of bills out of my pocket and throwing them on the bar muttered: "Leave the bottle."

He nodded, setting it down and swiftly backing away. After downing a few more glasses of hard liquor I rose to my feet unsteadily, picking my coat up along with the bottle and stumbled out of the bar. I slowly made my way back to the hotel I was taking up residence in lately. I stumbled into the foyer and the doorman took one pitiful look at me before he pushed the button for my floor on the elevator. He's been watching me arrive at the hotel at all hours of night and day for a while now, usually wasted enough to have trouble finding my way to my bed. I was paying my stay here plenty though, which earned me a piece of mind and silence from the staff even though they were probably getting sick of me.

When I reached my room I kicked my shoes off before sprawling over the bed. Lighting up a cigarette, I clung to the bottle while watching big clouds of smoke erupt from my mouth. I stared at the ceiling hypnotized by the smoke twirling around the air, circles melting into one another creating a big grey haze. I lay there paralyzed until I felt a slight burning sensation on my fingers when my cigarette was way past saving. I rubbed it into the ashtray before strolling over to the balcony and grabbing another one from the box.

Cracking the door open I stepped outside and leaned against the railing taking a big gulp of whiskey. The street was alive, people coming out of their homes or going to them in euphoria. I noticed a taxi stopping close by and watched three Moroi girls come out of my hotel and walk towards it. I could see from afar they were Royals. I couldn't recognize them even if I tried, but they walked like they owned the world gazing upon people passing them by loftily, which gave me the biggest clue about their "special" bloodline. Seconds before they were about to reach the taxi a big chunk of snow separated from the blanket that was covering the awning above it and slumped down mercilessly landing on their heads. They screamed in horror, like they were just doused with hot lava. I chuckled. Rose would have laughed her ass off if she could see them. I half expected to hear her voice exclaiming "the bitches deserved it" right there and then.

I fetched my phone out of my pocket and scrolled over to her name in my contacts list. I stared at it my finger lingering over the call button before scrolling a bit more and dialing somebody else. Two hours later I was pounding the brains out of a girl named Sophia.

 ***M***

"Yes baby come on harder. Oh Adrian, yes", she screamed out as my thrust became stronger.

She clawed at the sheets under her hands and pressed her knees against the bedframe to keep us both steady on our feet, since the rhythm I was slowly but surely accomplishing made it harder for her to stay in place. As I plunged into her I heard the metal fixtures on my belt buckle rattling against the wooden frame below us.

"Shit-, that's", she breathed out, her voice coming out broken from her gasps, "J-ust fucking annoying."

She wasn't wrong. The dangling was piercingly loud for my half-drunken brain so I leaned forward, wrapping her ponytail around my hand and jerking her up harshly as I rammed myself into her again. She moaned loudly as her hands lost their support and her back arched.

I took a step back so I can shake off my pants and twirl her around. Her cheeks were flushed, her pupils blown wide and she was on the verge of biting a hole through her lower lip as she waited to see what I had in mind. I let my arms slip around her back as I pulled her towards me gluing my lips to hers hungrily. My hands traveled over the swell of her butt cheeks and around her thighs until I lifted her up, causing giggles to erupt from her throat. She wiggled around in my embrace, knowing perfectly well what to do. I pushed her up higher before she slid down, throwing her head back and opening her mouth in a silent sigh. I walked over to the side of the bed and prompted her up against the wall before I continued from where I left off. Her breasts jumped up and down as I pounded into her and she dug her nails into my shoulders panting and whimpering.

"Fuck", she almost growled as I closed the distance between us even more while balancing our combined weights, putting extra effort into giving her what she wanted as fast and hard as I could.

I lowered my head so I could drag my lips over her neck, licking and biting her tender skin while she moaned out: "Oh God you are so fucking good, Adrian you are amazing."

When I felt her legs tighten around me and her screams became loud enough for a few floors below and above us to hear I pushed myself to hold on just a little while longer so she could reached her peek before I got the release my body was already begging me for.

 ***M***

We tumbled down to the bed panting as I felt the muscles in my legs tremble from the pressure they've been under through this whole soul cleansing session. She stretched out casting a look towards me as she exclaimed: "Damn I love spending time with you."

"If I had a dollar for every time I heard that", I teased her, earning a slap on the arm.

"You and I both know I'm your favorite girl", she prompted winking at me before she got up and grabbed my cigarettes helping herself to one and handing one to me as well.

"You wouldn't be here if you weren't", I mumbled as she brought a flame to the cigarette I stuck into my mouth.

She began dressing in a haste fixing her hair and makeup in the mirror. I prompted myself on my elbows and watched her with amusement. I've seen her routine so many times I couldn't even count them anymore. Sophia and I had an extremely functioning relationship built on the call-to-fuck bases. We both enjoyed it since I actually wasn't that needy and she wasn't clingy. Other people that we were both sleeping with didn't interest either of us, I could be married for all she cared she still wouldn't ask any questions when I rang her up. She even had a few boyfriends along the way who probably would have beaten me to a bloody pulp if they knew what I was doing to their girl when she left their place to come to me.

"Leaving so soon?", I asked not bothering to get up as she showed clear intentions of taking off.

"Sorry darling, I have to go, dinner with friends", she breathed out while she pulled on her boots.

"Can't you just stand them up and stay for more of this?", I prompted smiling devilishly.

"No, of course not", she answered, a hint of puzzlement crossing her face.

"Why not?"

"Because it's Christmas", she elaborated frowning, "Besides, I'm sure you have some places to be as well."

 _Christmas? Shit, how did I forget that?_ She leaned over the bed giving me a peck, before saying: "See you around Lover boy."

And just like that she was gone, only her perfume lingering in the room long after. _J_ _ust like that_ I was alone again, depression creeping over me as Spirit began roaming through my head with the alcohol draining out of my system. _Merry fucking Christmas to me!_

 **POV: Emilia**

Holidays were the absolute best time of the year for Strigoi just as much as they were for anyone else. So many intoxicated desperate or happy souls out there, ripe for the picking, easy prey, so oblivious to the fact that evil was never sleeping, even when cities were burning bright with fairy lights.

I lowered my hat in order to deepen the shadow it was casting on my eyes and got out of the car. I popped the hood opened and leaned against the door waiting. Soon another car appeared on the road, but I ignored it. Second. Third. Finally, I made my choice, waving at the fourth one, signalizing the driver to stop. He parked behind me and rolling his window down he leaned out asking: "Are you alright Honey?"

"Fine, but I'm afraid I can't say the same for my vehicle," I responded in the sweetest voice I could come up with.

I heard him chuckle before he opened his door and hopped out. He approached me and gestured me to join him upfront as he happily supplied: "Let's see what's the problem, it'd be a shame if you got stuck out here all alone for Christmas."

"Totally. Thank you so much", I giggled out stepping next to him as he leaned in.

I grabbed his neck with the speed of light and banged his head against the engine. His body went lip and he just slumped to the ground. I grabbed the collar of his coat swiftly dragging him towards the end of the car and stuffing his body on the backseat. Closing the hood I slipped behind the wheel starting the engine.

As soon as I reached the mansion Alexei was at the door. He greeted me with an angry look and a growl: "Where the hell have you been?"

"Out", I responded dragging my meal out of the car.

"I thought I told you to stay home."

"First of all this is not home", I retorted haling the guy towards the entrance over the gravel beneath my feet, "And, second, I was bored."

"Oh, you were bored, that's fucking fantastic", he spat out following me inside.

I dropped the load on the floor once I reached the living room listening to Alexei rant behind me: "I don't care that you were bored Emilia. When I told you to stay home you should have stayed home."

I turned around replying: "You're not the boss of me."

In a blink of an eye his hand was on my throat and my back was against the wall. His ominous eyes were fixing mine his voice filled with menace as he spoke barely above a whisper: "Don't play with me Emilia. I have certain, feelings, for you, but those only get you so far. You are a good companion and a great fuck, but you are not irreplaceable. Next time I give you an order you'll obey it or I'll end you. Is that clear?"

"Yes", I muttered knowing this was not the time to be bold.

"Good", he hissed before letting me go and briskly walking out of the room leaving me alone with the guy whose eyes slowly opened.

"What the hell?", he mumbled touching his bloody forehead.

I shook my head to clear my mind, pushing away the anger and slight panic that filled me as I fought with Alexei before I strolled over to him almost laughing when I saw his mind processing everything slowly. His eyes lit up with realization instantly followed by fear before he scrambled to his feet backing away from me, unfortunately stumbling into the couch landing on it with a loud thud.

"You, you", he stammered.

"Yes me. I was a very bad girl you see, but I'm still getting a present for Christmas and I can say it looks tasty", I teased him straddling his lap and nailing him to his seat before he could even think about getting back up.

He was helpless, powerless against me, he had nowhere to run, he didn't even put up a fight because he knew that no matter what he does he was going to die, still the last word out of his mouth were: "Please."

I ripped into him lashing out with all of the anger that has built up inside of me. I almost tore his artery out when I pulled back to look into his dead eyes.

"Merry bloody Christmas", I muttered wickedly smiling before viciously sinking my teeth back into his neck.

 **Present day**

 **POV: Rose**

I sipped on my eggnog while thinking about my cherished memories from the last Christmas I've spent with my friends. Looking at it from this point of view though it was nothing compared to the memories I was creating now. So many bad things were still fresh, so many of them worrying me back then and now it felt like everything was right in the world. Plus, our crazy little family became sort of bigger since then.

I sat on the arm of the chair Dimitri was in, excitedly looking at the pile of presents Lissa was placing on the coffee table. Christian, Jill and Eddie were sitting on the sofa laughing while talking about some incident Eddie had with a teapot they bought. Adrian and Emilia were sitting on the floor engulfed in their own conversation. After everything, it warmed my heart to see Adrian with such a cordial smile on his face, adoringly staring at Emilia who was tucked underneath his arm. Despite everything, all the obstacles the both of them had to face, they looked truly happy. And they deserved it.

"I wish I could freeze this moment and stay in it forever", I whispered cuddling against Dimitri.

"Me too", he whispered back, his smile warm as he looked at our friends.

"I hope we stay this happy for the rest of our, hopefully, long lives."

"We won't", he answered, but upon seeing my alarmed face added, "At least not always. We'll have some bad days, some sad moments and sometimes happiness will seem like a long lost dream, but that's life. Though as long as we have each other, all of us, we'll make it through those lows and help one another back to the highs."

"So wise", I mumbled before giving him a light kiss.

"Alright guys its present's time", Lissa announced.

Everybody jumped to their feet gathering around. I paused briefly before joining them as one more thought crossed my mind. _Merry wonderful Christmas to us!_

* * *

 **Chapter song:** **All I want for Christmas is you - Mariah Carey (yeah I know cheesy song, but Christmas is all about cheesiness)!**


	24. CH24 - Hearts Under Fire

**POV: Adrian**

I nailed it, finally. I've been trying to get just the right mix of colors for about a half an hour now. I leaned back studying my progress so far as I twirled my brush, trying to decide where to add a new stroke. The painting coming alive before me looked more realistic than any of my previous work. Despite my usual lack of confidence when it came to art, I was proud of what I've accomplished in the past two hours.

I woke up this morning with a burning desire to paint. That hasn't happened in a long time. It usually took for me to be in a really good mood, more than good, to be inspired and willing to concentrate on my work. It was Emma, I was sure of it. Her existence in my life has brightened it so much I had a hard time keeping a smile off of my face no matter what problems came our way. Even after everything that happened with Avery I couldn't bring myself to feel down.

When I opened my eyes, she was right there, cuddled next to me, safe and sound, instantly causing my heart to beat faster and my whole body to warm up. She was perfect, perfect for me, like no one else. For a second I considered trying to fit my painting equipment into the bed so I wouldn't have to leave her side. When I managed to get myself on my feet, I selfishly wanted to pick her up and take her with me. I'd take her anywhere, anywhere she wanted to go, as long as I get to be with her.

A shade of blue melting into the light purple, a brush of it here and there lenient against the fiery orange of the rising sun. A morning sky, darkness and clouds being chased away by the gentle, but dangerous rays, a story of Emilia and I put into a painting. This might become my best work so far.

I dabbed my brush into the dark blue again darkening the edges of the painting as I absentmindedly rubbed my cheek. When I moved my hand away I realized it had a blue smudge on it, so my cheek must have been painted as well, but I was too focused to care so I quickly brushed my hand against my shirt. The thing that pulled me back into reality was the sound of the wooden floor cracking lightly behind me. I twirled my head around and was greeted by a flash of a camera snapping a picture of me.

"Oh perfect, you smiled", Emma exclaimed glancing at the screen.

My smile, that I didn't even know was there before she mentioned it, widened as she studied the shot for a few more moments, before putting the camera on the shelf next to her. She has taken up photographing lately, not for any specific artistic purposes, but because she became rather obsessed with capturing anything she thought might be an important memory to cherish. What was funny and adorable to me was that ninety percent of those photographs were of me doing some random tasks. She was so proud of them though, that I didn't even consider protesting.

"Morning Gorgeous", I said placing my paintbrush down.

"Morning Handsome", she answered leaning on the doorframe, "What time is it?"

"It's safe to say we are way past breakfast", I chuckled wiping my hands on a cloth and cleaning my cheek.

"You didn't wake me up", she concluded rather than asked following my gaze to the watch on the wall.

"I figured the least I can do is let you sleep-in a little. No nightmares last night, huh?"

"None", she confirmed approaching me.

"Well it's official then, I'm your sedative", I joked trying to ignore the desire sparking up inside of me upon seeing her like this.

She was the most alluring thing on the God's green earth, with her hair still wet and curly form the shower she has obviously taken just seconds ago, the scent of her shampoo feeling the room, no makeup on her face, wearing my t-shirt that barely covered anything. She took a few more steps towards me, until I was close enough for her to slide her hands over my chest and around my neck. Her lips were a breath away from mine when she responded: "You are a lot more than that."

I let my hands wonder to the edge of the t-shirt that got lifted a bit more when she hugged me, closing the distance between our lips as I mumbled: "Even though I really miss Mickey, I love your new sleeping attire."

"Poor Mickey, forgotten so soon", she chuckled between our kisses before she unwrapped her hands and stepped back leaving me breathless.

She strolled towards the kitchen and I followed her, taking the time to wash my hands while she was looking for something to eat. I turned around and saw her tiptoeing her way to a box of cereals on the top shelf. My eyes traveled down her body to now very visible curves of her butt cheeks. The picture in front of me was just mind-blowingly sexy. She turned around, noticing my appreciative stare and asked: "See something you like?"

"Plenty", I answered as I kept eyeing her hungrily.

She put the cereals down and strolled over to me biting her lower lip while it twitched into a small smile, her eyes burning me with their seductive gaze. In the moment those marvelous lips touched mine again my world exploded, as hard and fast as it did every time when I was with her. Before I even knew what was what, I nudged her backwards until she bumped into the counter, after which I reached for her thighs lifting her up so she could sit on it. She parted her legs allowing me to slip between them. With her hand against my chest, she forced me away from her lips long enough for me to lose my shirt and strip the one off of her. I felt my burning desire kick up a notch as I registered she wasn't wearing anything else. I took a step back giving her an astonished look and murmured: "You are so beautiful you seem like a dream sometimes."

"I can assure you I'm not", she blurted seizing my belt and pulling me back towards her.

 ***M***

I kissed her lips hungrily before I moved to the gentle skin of her neck getting lost in her intoxicating scent. I let my hands travel over the soft swell of her perky breast and knowing how much it drove her insane, I started pinching and rubbing her nipples relishing the feeling of them becoming hard under my fingers. I lowered my mouth to them, tenderly kissing each bud before beginning to flick my tongue over them, circling and tracing small patterns, causing her to start squirming under the scrutiny of my hands and mouth. She panted loud and gripping the counter she arched her back pushing her breasts upwards, inviting me to continue my sweet torture. I glided my hand over her stomach letting it slide between her thighs, almost losing it upon feeling how wet she already was. I plunged two of my fingers inside of her causing a low moan to erupt from her throat. I began pumping them slowly, but fiercely until she was almost whimpering.

Her sudden movement surprised me, when she shoved me away sliding off of the counter. She unbuckled and unzipped my pants in a rush, slipping her hand in my boxers and around my shaft. Not wasting time, she stroked me fast while she fiercely devoured my lips in a kiss, even biting them at a certain point.

"Adrian", she breathed into my mouth like a plea.

She knew damn well I couldn't possibly resist that, so she was ready when I flipped her around hastily bending her over. I positioned myself and without a pause lunged into her, groaning as the sweet wave of pleasure overflowed me. She was so wet, warm and tight, I thought I would come straight away and that would be a first one for Adrian Ivaskov.

I stood still for a couple of seconds allowing her walls to shape around me and then slid out leaving merely a tip inside of her before thrusting back in. I opted for a steady pace as I gripped her hips keeping her in place. The louder her sighs, gasps and moans became the faster and harder I thrust into her. She felt glorious, her walls constantly shaping, twitching and tightening around me. I've never had a problem controlling myself, I could last for quite a while, but with her everything was different. It was divine, every thrust, every sound, her soft skin under my hands sliding through them like silk, her marvelous ass shaking with every shove, the smell of her hair radiating in a cloud around me, the way she screamed out my name.

When I knew I was close to the edge I pulled back, much to her disapproval. She swung around in a flash, her cheeks flushed, her eyes swimming in desire and blurted out: "Pills."

"What?", I breathed out heavily.

"I'm on pills", she repeated pulling me back and climbing on the counter again.

In a heartbeat I was back inside of her as she tangled her hands in my hair and drew me into a passionate kiss. A brief pause set me in a fresh mood, so I rammed into her mercilessly, causing her low moans to swell into frantic screams. Twisting her head back, she closed her eyes and bite down hard on her lower lip. I felt her tightening even more so I pulled her lip away from her teeth with my thumb and whispered breathlessly against her lips: "Don't hold back, I want to hear you."

I pushed our bodies to the breaking point and watched her come apart in front of me as a hard, thrashing, scream-so-loud-the-neighbors-can-hear-you orgasm washed over her. Her moans were my undoing, so I came with her nailing myself to her body as I filled her up.

 ***M***

Neither of us moved at first, as we desperately tried to catch our breaths. She leaned against the cupboard hanging behind her, her violet eyes glowing, as a wide smile spread on her face. Her hair was still wet, but now tangled up and messy too, falling around her face.

"Oh Adrian, that was mind-blowing", she babbled out exhaling.

"As opposed to all the time?", I joked winking at her.

"You know what I mean", she chuckled brushing my slightly damp hair away from my forehead.

"Sure I do", I replied giving her a small peck on the nose causing her to giggle.

Our brief conversation was cut short soon enough, since, like always, it didn't take our hands and mouths long to find their way back to one another. When we were on the brink of melting into one again I heard a loud ring form the front door bell. It was like a cold shower.

"Shit", I mumbled as Emma's lips pulled away from mine.

"Maybe it's important", she prompted like she read my mind when I thought _ignore it._

"Isn't it always?", I responded, but reluctantly let go of her and headed for the door.

I cracked it open, popping my head out slightly only to be greeted with shamefaced Rose. The blush on her cheeks was fairly visible as she apologetically babbled: "Yeah, I know right, freaking disastrous timing?"

" _Understatement_ ", I scoffed opening the door a bit further, but safely staying behind it so she could see my still very stiff organ, "How would you know that though?"

"Well, I kind of arrived before you guys were totally done and I have to say it's a good thing you don't have any neighbors around, cause, man, that's what I call loud."

I'd be lying if I didn't say I wasn't on the verge of blushing even more than she has upon her arrival. Despite what people thought, I wasn't much of a bragger when it came to sex related themes and I was even less happy about anyone hearing or seeing any of my adventures, especially with the girl I was in love with. Before I could comment on Rose's observation though, she swiftly added: "Anyhow, I tried calling, but your phone seems to be off, so I'll keep this short and let you get back to, you know."

"How kind of you", I jested in an attempt to hide my discomfort.

She made a sheepish smile before blurting out: "We are taking Jill to that shopping trip we were talking about later this evening, since she is leaving tomorrow, so I just wanted to check if you two will be joining us so I can go ahead and make security arrangements now."

"Yeah, sure, that'd be great. Emma could use some girly time and I needed to go get something done anyway. Can you just drop me off somewhere on the way to the mall and I'll join you guys there afterwards?"

"Sure. You want one of us to come with?", she offered probably thinking more about my safety than the actual need to keep me company.

"Nah, that's okay. I won't be far and long. Thanks though."

"You want to tell what this secret task is?", she questioned curiosity getting the better of her.

"Nope", I simply responded grinning at her devilishly.

"Mysterious much?", she exclaimed rising her eyebrow.

"Sorry Rose, you can't know everything!", I chuckled stepping back in order to make room for the door to be closed.

"Well, right now, I think I know more than I should", she teased casting a look behind me.

"Bye Rose", I responded giving her a quick wink before shutting the door.

"We leave in two hours", she shouted from the other side before leaving.

I turned around casting a look towards the kitchen door with a mischievous thought: _The things I can do in two hours!_

 **POV: Emilia**

I leaned back into my chair relaxing while my hand rested against the tiny pillow next to me. With every stroke of nail polish the manicurist painted, I could feel the tension leaving me bit by bit, though alcohol surely helped with that too.

"Best idea ever", Rose purred taking a sip of some cocktail Lissa has ordered for us, looking ridiculous with the green face mask she had on.

"I'm full of those", Lissa chuckled as Jill hummed in agreement to Rose's words.

Those three really took that phrase _shop till you drop_ as a command. As soon as our shoes glided against the shiny floor of the mall there was no stopping them, not until each found her attire for the New Year's Eve. Lissa took it upon herself to dress me up like a doll. She played around with so many dresses and accessories I felt my head spinning at a certain point. I was ecstatic when I heard our next destination was a tiny spa close to the mall. I just wanted to sit down and take a breather. Though spending time with other females was honestly something I wasn't used to, I realized somewhere along the way that I was actually, sort of, having fun.

"Sooo, Emma, how are things with Adrian? ", Lissa asked as Rose glanced over to me trying to hide a strange smile crossing her lips.

"Great", I responded shortly not knowing what else to say.

I realized, lately, that I lacked the ability to speak freely about my personal life. I guess the main reason for that was that I was rather shy and the only ones I ever really talked to about what's going on inside my head and about my feelings, were Dimitri and Adrian. They've both put in a lot of effort and time to get me to open up to them and they made me feel safe, safe enough to say what's on my mind. It's not that I didn't trust Lissa, Rose and Jill, it's just that I wasn't ready, not yet at least, to let them in. They apparently didn't have the same problem.

"That's it? Great? That's all you are going to tell us?", Rose exclaimed with an expression that made me thing she was daring me to refuse to spill the beans.

"What else am I supposed to say?", I questioned smiling as I felt my cheeks warm up.

"Details", Rose announced mimicking Lissa's voice, causing all of them to burst into laughter.

Lissa threw her pillow at her while Rose shouted: "Gahhh, don't ruin the mask Liss!"

When they all looked at me again, I panicked. I didn't like having the spotlight on me so I blurted out the first thing that popped into my mind: "Wouldn't that be a bit weird?"

They frowned in unison and even my manicurist seemed to be waiting for me to elaborate, since her hand lingered in the air for a few brief moments before she remembered she was doing my nails. I suddenly felt really nervous as I cleared my throat and added: "You know since Rose and, you know?"

"You mean since we dated?", Rose laughed out obviously not even a bit uncomfortable with the topic, "You dated Dimitri, do you see me avoiding to talk about him?"

"Actually, you do avoid talking about him", Jill pointed out as my manicurist almost fell from her chair listening to our exchange.

"No I don't", Rose exclaimed giving her a theatrical, shocked look.

"You kind of do", Lissa confirmed making an apologetic expression.

"I can talk about him. Ask me, ask me anything. I'll talk", Rose persisted challenging us.

"Easy Little Tiger", I heard a familiar voice speak behind me, the voice that instantly brought a smile to my face regardless of the previous discomfort, "Don't bite everyone's head off."

"This is girls time Ivashkov, beat it", Rose retorted, but her expression softened up.

I felt Adrian's hands on my shoulders, his thumbs rubbing small circles at the root of my neck as he leaned over to kiss my cheek. I glanced up at him as he mumbled: "Are you having fun, Gorgeous?"

I nodded, since I had trouble finding my words because of his proximity and the instant flash of our activities from this morning crossing my mind. He picked up my glass that rested nearby and took a sip as my manicurist decided to completely abandon my nails so she can stare at Adrian like she was hypnotized. He was more than good looking to Moroi and Dhampir, so to humans he was pretty much God like. I was used to the stares, everyone stared at him and I couldn't really blame them, he was astonishing.

"I'll go join the male part of our group then. It seems they have decided to pass the time by playing pool, so I think it's only fair I go and teach them how it's done", he joked, handing me my glass.

He gave me a quick peck before pushing his sunglasses down to cover his eyes, probably in an attempt to protect himself from the flash of the sun that he'll surely meet upon going back outside. We had to wait for the human schedule to catch up, since the stores didn't open before the sun was up. We were all way past our bedtime. The Dhampir part of our group seemed to be enjoying it though. It wasn't often that they got a day under the sun.

"Bye girls", he added over his shoulder before humming the tune of "Highway to Hell" on his way out.

"Woah", I heard Lissa breathe out as the door closed behind him.

I glanced at her, watching her eyes slowly turn to me as my nails finally got finished and the last of the staff left the room leaving us to relax in silence. Silence I was sure we'd fill.

"What is it?", Rose asked instantly alarmed my Lissa's slightly lost expression.

"You two", she muttered fixing my eyes, "Your auras. I've never seen anything like it."

"Of course you have", I automatically prompted, "It's just Spirit User's auras."

"No, no, it's not that. I mean sure, there is the golden glow, but the way you light up around each other, I don't think I've ever seen a reaction so strong and I've been around Dimitri and Rose plenty enough to witness an incredible connection."

"That's weird. What does that mean exactly?", Jill questioned glancing between Lissa's studious expression and my confused one.

"I have no clue", Lissa chuckled instantly shaking out of her half trance and doing her best to smile as widely as possible, "I guess they really like each other, that's all."

"Tell us something we don't know", Rose laughed rolling her eyes.

The mode shifted fast after that, back to normal and light, only I remained a bit disturbed by Lissa's observation. I didn't like exceptions, I liked normality. There was danger in uniqueness, in extraordinary, there was danger in everything that stood out and I was tired of danger. I didn't want to be unlike anything seen before. I wanted to be just like everybody else. I always wanted to be plain and simple, but life wouldn't have it. Being a Spirit User was already separating me from others and I didn't want anything else to add to it.

I couldn't get myself to stop think about it, even when we met up with the rest of our group. However, when Adrian hugged me around my waist, letting me lean again him and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead, just below my hairline, all dark thoughts escaped me, like always. It'll be a long time before I thought back to Lissa's words, a long time before I found out their meaning and significance, a long time before I realized just how dangerous being special really was.

 **POV: Avery**

I was playing with the strand of my hair, humming some random tune stuck in my brain, when I heard the loud crash followed by screams coming from the hallway. I jumped from the bed and rushed towards the tiny window on the door, gluing my face to it so I can see outside. The lights began flickering as the screams and footsteps became louder. The small window was fogging from the fast breaths I let out since my heart was speeding up, causing my lungs to scream for air.

My room here always felt small. On bad nights I'd start feeling like the walls were closing in on me, suffocating me. But standing like this, waiting in anticipation to see what's going on, it felt even worse, I felt like I was in my own personal tiny box of fear.

My heart almost jumped out of my chest when somebodies body got flung into my door. I jerked back in fear losing my balance and tumbling to the ground. I distantly remembered the thing Emilia told me when we were kids. It was such an old memory, it almost seemed surreal that, in the moment like this, it would crash into my mind, especially after everything that happened between the two of us.

" _When you don't want the monsters to get you, hide under the bed."_

" _But Ems isn't that were monsters hide?"_

" _Not all of them", she said knowingly, "The monsters that are already there are hiding because they are afraid of the ones that are not."_

It didn't make sense to me then, but it did now. I pushed myself over the floor and crawled underneath my bed clapping a hand over my mouth to keep my breathing as quite as possible. After a few loud bangs the door gave in and flung open, spilling the unsteady light from the hall into my room. I saw a par of dark, black boots standing on the threshold for a few seconds before they slowly glided over the floor and towards me. My heart was pounding so loud at this point I thought it could be heard from two floors above me. Those boots moved around for a several seconds and then, just like that, I saw them walking away and disappearing. I let out the breath I was holding and rolled over to my back trying to calm down. That's when I felt strong hands gripping my hair.

The last thing on my mind was surprisingly another one of Emilia's lessons, the one she picked up from Dimitri: " _If you can't fight and you can't run, scream. Scream for help as loud as you can, cause that's your only option left in that moment."_ So that's what I did. I screamed. I screamed at the top of my lungs clinging to the last traces of hope left within me.

* * *

 **Chapter song: Hearts under fire - Lea Luna (the exact version I liked is Havocndeed remix)**

 **From the previous AN: Huh, I have to admit writing a part of this chapter meant "losing my virginity" in a way, since it's my first time writing anything this lemony from a male perspective. I usually cut the scene right before the major stuff goes down and switch to female POV, but I've decided to give it a shot and test out my capabilities (cause that's what FF is about, right?)! I really hope you guys like it and that I did a good job.**

 **And the answer to the question about Rose's Christmas gift to Dimitri, from Swimming: Rose got him a new duster, what else! XD**


	25. CH25 - All Of Me

**POV: Emilia**

And there I was thinking that the previous Court part was fancy. Compared to this nothing came close. I distantly remember some of the parties organized for New Year's Eve that my father took me to when I was younger. This was by far the most incredible one I've ever seen. The immense crystal chandeliers hanging around the room seemed brighter than ever, all the gold, glitter and shine even more intense. All of the tables were filled with food that looked so delicious and was arranged so perfectly it'd be a shame if anyone disturbed it by eating it. The waiters, dancing around with dazzling salvers filled with perfectly carved out crystal glasses replete with luscious bubbly champagne, were dressed like they just walked out of the Great Hall of the Vienna's Musikverein. Finally, the most mesmerizing thing in the room was the glorious evergreen 32ft tall tree covered in crystal ornaments and hypnotizing miniature lights that looked like stars.

A warm hand on my back pulled me to reality cutting my admiration short. I turned around momentarily losing myself in the green loving eyes I've come to know so well. He gave me a cordial smile and a gentle peck on the lips.

"Lady Lazar, you look stunning", he exclaimed in a hushed voice.

"You as well, Lord Ivashkov", I chuckled casting a look towards the nearby floor length mirror.

I had to admit we were quite a pair. From all of the dresses Lissa showered me with at the mall, I winded up picking a dark blue, bare back, long one, with thin straps and a plunging neckline. It was fluttery starting from my waist until it reached the ground in a slope of lighter blue and black pleats. I don't think I've ever worn something so revealing, yet so elegant. Adrian's suit, vest and shirt were all in various shades of blue and black, clinging to his body perfectly, like it was all made for him specifically. It probably was, since I seriously doubted Adrian Ivashkov would settle for anything less. As unbelievable as it sounds, we didn't match on purpose, but somehow we always picked the same colors without consulting one another. I was beginning to wonder if we were telepathically connected in some way.

As I stared at our reflection, I focused on my chest. The shiny amethyst on my necklace matched my eyes to perfection. Though the silver chain and the heart pendent should have felt cold against my skin, the Spirit trapped within it warmed up and so did the meaning of this dazzling piece that Adrian carefully picked. Since the day he placed it on my neck I couldn't bring myself to take it off. The more our relationship developed, the more import it became to me, or rater what it stood for. It was a wordless declaration of our love, even though it wasn't intended for that purpose in the beginning.

"It looks as perfect as it did when I gave it to you", Adrian whispered next to my ear making me shiver, guessing my thoughts like he frequently did.

"Are you praising yourself for your excellent shopping choices?", I chuckled gluing my eyes away from the mirror to look up at him.

"I'm praising you, Gorgeous. It's merely a piece worthy of its owner, not the other way around", he said tracing his fingers lightly over my collarbone and dangerously close to the edge of my dress.

"That's very poetic", I breathed out shakily as his fingers danced around the peak of my décolleté.

"Poetic? That does sound like my style", he chuckled before he moved his hand away so he could offered it to me while bowing in a movielike manner, "Would the lovely Lady like to dance?"

"Yes, she would love to", I chuckled gently, slipping my hand into his and curtseying playfully.

He led me to the dancefloor, elegantly spinning me around once we reached the center so I'd face him. He slipped his hands in place, pulling me closer, close enough for our breaths to melt together.

"I don't think this is the appropriate proximity for us to be in, Lord Ivashkov", I teased him as he purposefully let his palm slip down my back, a lot lower than he should have.

"Are you afraid I might ruin your reputation Lady Lazar?", he accepted the joke, his eyebrow shooting up playfully.

"You might ruin me entirely", I exclaimed theatrically, "Then what shall I do with my chastity tarnished? No man would want to marry me after that."

His expression suddenly became serious, his smile dropping and his forehead furrowing. He fixed my eyes, his own blazing as he whispered: "At least one would."

I stared at him bewildered by his rash change of mood, before he just as quickly lightened up and added: "Regardless, the damage is already done and you are doomed. It looks like my visit to your chambers tonight is unavoidable."

"Is that so?", I giggled trying to shake the tension.

"Isn't it?", he challenged before he pulled me into a fast spin.

As we picked up the rhythm we twirled around the room lost in our own world. The hand he held on my back sent tiny tingles up and down my body, his lips were only inches away from mine, while his emeralds fixed on my amethysts with an unearthly intensity.

Dancing with Adrian felt so easy, so natural, but then again so did everything else. I constantly tried to stop myself from thinking it, but every once in a while a thought would bump into my head, a thought so beautiful it was tortures to push it away all the time. _We were made for each other_. I kept justifying that thought by convincing myself it was just a part of a love-struck haze that I was in, the one I will eventually shake out off, but in moments like this, everything about the two of us together seemed right, it seemed perfect.

 _At least one would._ His words flew through my head again. Was he talking about himself? Was that a promise? Did he actually mean it? Could I be so lucky that this astonishing man would chose me to be the one he'll spend the rest of his life with? My heart fluttered, my breathing becoming uneven at these very thoughts, so I quickly searched for something to say to get my mind in order.

"Remember the last time we danced?", I asked, my lips twitching into a small smile.

"Ah, yes, when I dazzled you with my killer dance moves", he joked as he swept me into a graceful turn.

Our bodies kept their perfect poses despite our closeness. Everything from our breathing to our heartbeats and our feet gliding over the floor was in sync. The song was slowly wrapping up, despite my desire for it to never stop, just so I can stay in his arms like this forever, in this harmony, this silent understanding between our bodies and minds.

"That was it, wasn't it? That's what won you over", he added still teasing me, a mischievous smile dancing on his lips.

"The killer dance moves? No, I can assure you it was a lot more than that", I answered through full-fledged laughter, but I felt the warmth radiating between us grow more powerful by the second, "Though that sure as hell helped a lot."

"What else?", he whispered his lips now nearly touching mine.

"What?", I mumbled having a hard time focusing on anything else but this immense desire to kiss him senseless.

"What else won you over?"

"I can make a whole freaking encyclopedia long list, but I can also sum it up in one sentence."

"I'm listening", he prompted as the last tones of the song slowly died down.

We already came to a standstill, people around us clapping and parting from each other ready to leave the dancefloor. Adrian held me gently and light, but in the same time with a burning intensity and strength.

"You were everything I ever wanted", I answered simply, though my statement was far more meaningful than it sounded and, judging by the emotions that overflowed his eyes, I knew that he could understand all of the things I covered in this one short line perfectly.

Before he could respond though, Jill appeared out of nowhere, followed by Eddie and rest of our friends, exclaiming: "You guys looked amazing. Like professional dancers or something."

We both took a step back, toning down the electricity between our bodies, but my hand stayed in his and he squeezed it lightly signalizing our talk wasn't over. His eyes darted to Jill as he laughed: "We practice two hours a day just so we can show off at these kinds of events."

"And when Emma isn't home you practice ballet to get in touch with your feminine side", Christian teased him earning a glare from Lissa.

"Don't ruin the moment for them", she scolded him before she added to the two of us, "You guys want to go grab a drink? I could use some time alone with my friends."

"Sure", Adrian confirmed, tugging me lightly so we'd follow them away from the dancefloor.

We fell into light chitchat almost losing track of time. It wasn't until it was twenty minutes before twelve that Adrian discreetly leaned over and whispered: "Do you want to go and get some air?"

I just nodded before we excused ourselves, pushing our way through the crowd and towards the balcony doors. They were still closed and I realized nobody was going to allow us to go outside since they were probably preparing for the fireworks. Once we reached them though, Adrian told me: "I'll be right back."

"Adrian I don't think-", I started, putting my thoughts into words.

"Just wait for me here, okay?", he cut in before rushing away in the other direction.

As soon as his messy chestnut hair disappeared from site, a man that was standing close by turned around and stepped towards me. His silver hair and bushy mustaches made his features quite unusual, but one look at his stance and the lines of his face, which were evidently showing he was roguishly handsome despite his age, and I knew exactly who he was.

"I wouldn't bother waiting for him. The chances of him running into another, at the moment, more interesting girl are astonishingly high", he mocked looking at me with a dose of pity.

"I'm pretty sure you're wrong about that, Lord Ivashkov", I answered trying to keep a pleasant smile on my face, which was turning out to be harder than I thought.

Adrian talked about his family more often than he realized and so far I haven't heard a singular good thing about Nathan Ivashkov. As a matter of fact, he insisted on hating him. I knew him better than that though, despite his father being an absolutely horrible man, Adrian was desperately trying to earn his approval whenever he got a chance, especially now that he was the only link between Adrian and his mother. And despite everything, I knew he hopped that one day things will change between them, all three of them, finally allowing them to be a true family. I doubted it, but couldn't possibly bring myself to ruin Adrian's dreams.

"Ah that's what they always say, Lady-."

"Lazar. Emilia Lazar", I offered, but restrained myself from offering him my hand as well.

"Lady Lazar, it's very nice to meet you at last. You know, you've become quite a celebrity around here", he said not bothering to offer me his hand either.

I was glad. I didn't want any kind of physical contact with a person that has hurt Adrian on more than one occasion, not unless the contact was going to be made by my fist colliding with his face.

Admittedly, it was strange that we've never run into Nathan before. It must have been because Adrian was doing everything in his power to avoid him and the fact that Nathan probably had more important things to do than visit parties and go out for walks and dinners. Not that Adrian and I weren't doing anything with our lives, but I was guessing our schedule wasn't nearly as packed as his was.

"Yes, I guess I have", I replied with a stiff smile.

I glanced away and noticed Adrian reemerging from the crowd, followed by some guy, so I swiftly turned to Nathan adding: "You'll have to excuse me Lord Ivashkov, my boyfriend seems to be coming back after all."

"Of course, who am I to stand in the way of true love or a New Year's Eve fling, whichever you turn out to be?", he sneered before nodding his head and turning on his heel.

 _Jerk_ , I thought before Adrian reached me. He froze in his tracks when he noticed his father's back disappear amongst the people surrounding us. He's expression seemed slightly worried as he searched my face for any signs of what has happened while he was away. He nervously ran a hand through his hair as he asked with uncertainty dripping from his voice: "What was that about?"

"Nothing important, he just wanted to introduce himself", I leisurely responded, reaching up to fix his hair since his movements made it messier than he probably intended it to be.

"Huh", he mumbled, still wearing a small frown for a few brief seconds.

As the guy behind him cleared his throat, it seemed like Adrian suddenly remembered he was on a mission before his father's interruption, thus the frown was chased away by a cheerful smile as he held up what I just recognized to be my coat and announced: "This dear young fellow is Brandon and he has kindly offered to let us outside a bit before scheduled."

I glanced at Brandon, seeing his face looked perfectly relaxed and normal, but his eyes were a bit glossy. I stepped towards Adrian, allowing him to pull the coat on me while I whispered under my breath: "You compelled him, didn't you?"

"Maybe a little", Adrian admitted, winking and nudging me towards the door Brandon cracked open for us.

We slipped outside and were instantly hit by a cold breeze. I immediately snuggled up to Adrian and with his hand around my shoulders he stirred me towards the edge of the large balcony, so that we can lean on the railing. I could literally see our breaths leaving our bodies, too hot compared to the air of an icy December night. Once we stopped, I turned to Adrian rubbing my hands together to keep them warm and asked: "Any particular reason why we are freezing our butts off out here?"

His eyes were glued to the sky, his forehead furrowing like it did only when he was tense, worried or concentrated. His mood seemed to have jumped from light and playful to extremely grave in a nanosecond. It scared me, since moments of pensiveness were not something Adrian did often and for no good reason. When he didn't say anything I nudged his chin so he'd face me and whispered: "Adrian?"

"I wanted to tell you some things, things that should be said in privacy", he quickly responded his frown deepening.

"Is everything alright?", I asked my breath almost seizing on its way out.

I felt my guts do back-flips upon sensing the actual seriousness of the situation. Something horrible must have happened for him to act like this. Or perhaps something was about to happen.

"Yeah, everything's fine", he reassured me absentmindedly cracking his knuckles before rubbing his hands together, mimicking my earlier movements, his eyes traveling around, looking everywhere but at me, "I just need you to listen to me without interruptions, cause I'm already freaking out a bit, so just be patient with me okay?"

I nodded swallowing down audibly. Maybe the problem wasn't about him. Perhaps it was about me or just plainly _me_. Oh God, was he about to break up with me? I wouldn't be surprised, I'm a heavy burden to carry, what with all my mental problems caused by my crazy cousin, being Strigoi and all those terrible things I did in my past. I felt a wave of panic washing over me as Adrian reached for my hands and pulled them to his chest, his heart beating manically through his coat. He took a deep breath, fixing his eyes back on mine.

"Don't worry. It's not a bad thing. At least I think it's not", he breathed out while trying to smile, but managing to only twitch his lips up a little in his faint attempt to reassure me it wasn't as scary as I thought it to be, to reassure himself too.

"So you are not trying to dump me?", I chuckled, but it came out so high-pitched it hurt my own ears.

"God no!", he almost yelled shaking his head frantically, "Damn it, I'm doing this all wrong."

"Adrian whatever it is-", I started, but he hushed me by pressing his fingers gently against my lips.

"Just listen", he commanded.

When he moved his hand to grasp mine again I stayed silent allowing him to continue. He smiled a small smile gratefully before clearing his throat.

"Since the moment I saw you I couldn't stay away from you, which makes me sound like a complete stoker, but bear with me", he stumbled over his words a little, "I know we've been dating for only a couple of months, but it already seems like an eternity to me and I know you might think this is crazy, hell, I think this is crazy, but you are the most amazing woman I've ever laid my eyes on and I literally can't imagine my life without you in it. I love you more than words can say."

He paused to let his words sink into my brain before he carried on with his outburst of feelings: "Now, if there is anything I've learned in my adventures life, it's that if you don't seize the moment, you may never get a chance to do it again, to find that kind of happiness again. I don't want to waste any more time denying myself the thing I desire the most. I know what I want and I hope you want the same."

I was so lost in his words and the way his eyes held mine that I almost had a heart attack when the fireworks suddenly exploded. I jumped up, winding up even closer to him and he softly laughed upon my expression, which probably looked ridiculous, since being dragged out of a state as close to hypnosis as possible by loud bangs was not something that I welcomed.

"Happy New Year!", I heard people shouting in the background.

Perhaps I would have said it myself if I could speak, like at all, but Adrian has left me without words and right now I couldn't care less about the year that has just arrived. The doors leading to the balcony opened in the exact moment Adrian took a step back. His eyes never left mine as he slowly got down on his knee. I gasped, covering my mouth with my hand. This was like a scene from a cheesy movie, but I didn't mind because this was really happening to me.

I registered briefly that among the people that joined us outside were some familiar faces, faces of our friends all staring in shock, but with wide grins. I heard Jill's happy squeal and Christian's "I'll be damned". I was so caught up in the moment though, I wanted to tell them all to beat it and leave us alone, despite how much it meant to me that our friends obviously welcomed and supported what they were witnessing.

Adrian, still holding my hand, reached into his pocket and produced a little box, the box that made my heart skip a beat for the millionth time this night, but stronger than ever. His angelic eyes studied me warily, his face showing an evident dose of fear, his hands on the verge of shaking. He was laying his heart out for me and as the words left his lips his voice was filled with anticipation and excitement.

"Emilia Johanna Lazar, will you marry me?"

* * *

 **Chapter song: All of me - John Legend**

 **From the previous AN:** **This special little romantic-overload chapter is dedicated to my dear friend who goes by the name chocomonkey6 around here! You have been one of the biggest supports to me through this whole story (and well pretty much everything else) and though I've told you this many times I wanted to make it official like this and tell you THANK YOU for being an awesome friend!**

 **I have two more things to add here. First of all yes, Johanna is Emilia's real middle name despite the fact that she liked to use Thomas as a tribute to her father. And second, hell Swimming, I was desperately trying to be a normal person by having Rose give Dimitri a regular present, but you spiked my imagination. So I'll just add to your idea of Rose with the Santa hat, by saying later that evening Dimitri wasn't wearing anything but that duster until it got ripped off of him by horny Rose!**


	26. CH26 - Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This)

**POV: Emilia**

"So we get engaged and the first thing you do is run away?", I chuckled handing Adrian another pair of socks.

"I'm sorry Gorgeous, but Lissa said she can't trust anyone other than me to overlook the retesting program in the Academy. You know how important this is. Besides, it's only for two days and once I get back we'll celebrate, some special place, you and me with all of our friends."

"Sure thing Handsome, but it better be one hell of a party", I teased him.

I didn't really mind that he was leaving. I didn't expect him to be around twenty-four-seven, though I have to admit I've gotten so used to him being near me all the time it was going to be strange without him, despite it only being for two days. The worst part of it all was that for the first time since I've taken residence at his place, I would spend a night alone, without him to chase the nightmares away and that was terrifying.

"Are you going to be okay on your own?", he asked, probably thinking about the same thing I have, the very fact that he seemed to be the only thing keeping me stable.

"Don't worry, I'll survive somehow", I replied in a dramatic voice, cracking a wide smile, trying to run his worries away along with mine.

Maybe this was going to be a good thing. Regardless of the fact that we were a step away from agreeing to spend the rest of our lives with each other, it was past time I've tried to get myself used to sleeping without depending on him to be there. This probably won't be the last time we'll have to separate and I didn't want to be so codependent, it wasn't healthy. He was my rock, my safe place, the best support I could wish for, but I was never going to be able to be the same thing for him if I don't toughen up.

"Good", he said firmly, but kept a small smile on his face.

As soon as he was done packing I walked him out, knowing he needed to leave straight away or he was going to be late for his flight. We stood on the threshold in an embrace reluctant to let each other go. We exchanged countless small kisses as I whispered in between them: "Stay safe."

"Stay sane", he replied making me laugh.

"I love you", I added kissing him one last time before taking a step back.

"I love you too", he answered kissing my hand and giving it a light squeeze.

I leaned against the door, waving at him and watching him go until he was lost from my sight. The house felt even more empty without him than I thought it would, but I pulled on one of his sweaters, letting his scent mix with the lingering traces of his perfume in the air around me, instantly feeling better. I considered going back to bed since it was too early in the morning, but I knew there will be no sleeping for me now that I already felt so restless. Work was always the best antidote for overthinking, so most of my day was spent in cleaning the house, studying and making my meals.

While I was having breakfast I heard my phone buzzing and I rushed to it, my lips automatically twitching up as I saw a message from Adrian.

 _Just landed. Got welcomed by a group of sexy school girls. The engagement is off. :P_

I chuckled and replied:

 _Your house just accidentally caught on fire. Don't know what happened ;)_

His response was instant:

 _Fine, fine, I'll disappoint all the lovely ladies here by telling them the most eligible bachelor is off the market. ;) Talk to you later! Ily *_

When the night came, he called me just before going to bed and we talked for about a solid hour. After finishing our conversation, I picked up the remote control, but just as I was about to finally relax while watching some random movie, I heard another short ring that notified me of a new message. I frowned and reached for my phone, only to find that the message wasn't from Adrian this time.

 _I'll see you when you fall asleep. Sweet dreams, A._

My blood froze in my veins. I blinked a couple of times and reread the message, before throwing the phone away and pulling the blanket tighter around me like that could chase away the fear that was consuming me. _This is going to be a long night_ , I thought. And it was. I spent hours staring at the TV screen, before exhaustion finally took hold as the sun began setting down again and I got dragged into the sleeping world no matter how much I wanted to stay away from it.

 **POV: Rose**

"Nothing? Two weeks and you've got nothing? How is it even possible to be that stupid and incompetent?", I fumed pacing around the room.

"Rose", Lissa voiced threatened me to back down, but judging by how tense she sounded, it was clear she was just as irritated by all of this as I was.

"Guardian Hathaway, solving a case with no witnesses, no camera footage, no paperwork and patients files, no traces of any violence and no leads whatsoever is a lot harder than you might think", guardian Miller tried reasoning with me.

"So you try harder!", I retorted, stopping in my tracks to glare at him.

"It's like Fox Recovery Center never existed. There is no staff, no patients, it's a freaking ghost town", he tried explaining further, but upon seeing my pissed of expression fell to silence.

"Thank you guardian Miller, please keep me notified about the progress", Lissa demanded, dismissing him quickly before I had the chance to change my mind about gauging his eyes out.

"Yes your Majesty", he responded, bowing and rushing out of the room.

As soon as we were left alone, I turned to Lissa now completely losing my cool as I almost shouted: "Lissa, please tell me you realize how disastrous this is? First there was an attack on that village a month ago, they didn't solve it, they still can't trace the phone Emilia's been receiving messages from and now this. You do know Emma's going to freak out when she hears her crazy ass cousin just puffed into thin air?"

"I know Rose", she breath out, "But I can't exactly magically whip up a solution for everything. I'm sure they truly are doing everything in their power, but these things aren't common. I mean sure the attack on that commune is something we've dealt with before, but Fox Center is, well, I have no idea why and who would do whatever they did to all those people there. I'm afraid the only thing left for us is to wait."

"And do nothing?", I fumed again, feeling a strong temptation to punch a hole through something with my fist.

"No, not nothing", she stressed leaning against the edge of her desk with clear signs of exhaustion, "I'll press down on them harder, have them working day and night until all three of these cases are solved, but until that happens we keep this quiet, from everyone."

"You really think we shouldn't tell her, Emilia?", I questioned walking over to sit next to her, since I too was running on no sleep and triple doses of coffee.

"No, why worry her before we know the whole story?", Lissa pondered out loud, "Especially now that Adrian is away."

"I don't think we should lie to her, she is a lot tougher than she looks and she deserves to know", I argued thinking of how much I myself would hate to be in the dark.

"Okay, so we'll tell her, but not today. Let's just hold on a second and let the entire situation about her and Adrian dial down. We owe them that much. They deserve some happiness without an impending doom handing over their head for once."

"Agreed", I confirmed, even though I could still feel this itch at the back off my head warning me that this was a wrong decision.

 **POV: Emilia**

My eyes jerked open and I lazily cast a look at the watch hanging on the wall. I was shocked to realize I've actually slept for several hours, more than several. It was almost time for Adrian to board the plane back. As soon as his name bumped into my thoughts my phone rang and I tapped blindly to reach it. It got stuck under a pillow so I barely managed to answer in time.

"Hey Handsome, back a bit early I see", I happily blurted into the phone through a yawn.

"Emi-lia", he stammered his voice dry and broken up.

"Adrian? Is everything alright?", I asked sitting up in alarm, the blanket I was covered with rolling to the ground.

"Car crash. Close to Court. I need help. Hurry", he breathed out before the call got disconnected.

Never in my entire life was I this scared. I ran to my car so fast it felt like I was flying. I raced towards the front gate stopping for a split second in order to yell to the guardian on post: "Call Dimitri Belikov, tell him to drive towards the highway and find me. It's an emergency."

I've barely managed to see him node before my tires left him in a cloud of dust. I pushed the gas pedal so hard I thought I might punch a hole through the bottom of the car. My heart was pounding so loud it was deafening, the landscape around me was a blur and the only thing I could manage to do was to focus on the road ahead of me. Ever second seemed like an eternity before I finally noticed something on the side of the road. I hit the brakes almost losing control of the car. As soon as I managed to pull to a stop, I pushed the door open and threw my body towards the wreckage in the nearby canal.

"Adrian", I screamed at the top of my lungs grabbing the smashed passenger door with shaky hands.

The door got unhinged as soon as I touched it, falling over me and almost knocking me down in the process. The driver was in his seat, crushed to an unrecognizable mush. It took every ounce of strength I had to stop myself from puking. Since the seat next to the driver was empty, I cast a look towards the back but Adrian, apparently, wasn't inside of the car. I turned around frantically scanning my surroundings.

"Adri-", my voice trailed off as I finally noticed something dark in the grass a couple of feet away from me.

I rushed towards him and fell to the ground next to him grabbing his shoulder, jerking him with all my strength as I wept: "Adrian! Oh no, Adrian, please open your eyes! Open your eyes!"

His forehead was cut, a few tiny pieces of glass still stuck in his skin, there was a big scar over his left cheek, the grass around him was dark, stained with blood coming from the back of his head, his clothes torn and covered in mud. His face was still, too still and I couldn't hear his heartbeat. I began crying uncontrollably as I gathered all of the Spirit I had inside of me and forced it towards him pleading as my voice cracked and broke up: "Adrian, no, please, ADRIAN! Please open your eyes!"

 _Be careful what you wish for_ , I heard a voice in my head saying before his eyes began fluttering. A sob escaped me as I rejoiced: "Adrian, thank God, I-."

His eyelids finally opened completely and a scream rippled through my chest as his dark, red-ringed eyes, with their usual green color almost unnoticeable underneath the bloody circle, fixed on me coldly.

"WAKE UP!", I heard a roar before feeling immense pain on my cheek.

I jumped up in panic, knocking into Rose who was hovering above me. She pulled back, rubbing her forehead and mumbling: "Ouch."

"Thank heavens", Mitya exclaimed showing up behind Rose.

"Wha-", I began saying, but as soon as I opened my mouth I felt my cheek stinging.

I reached towards it, running my palm over the hot skin. Rose watched my fingers with an expression of guilt before she responded to my unasked question: "Sorry about the slap, but you were on the verge of having a heart attack. I needed to wake you up somehow."

"What are you doing here?", I asked looking up at them.

It was a bit rude, but could they really blame me? I swiftly assessed the situation noticing the front door unhinged and cracked, lying on the ground, the coffee table knocked over and all the cushions and my blanket on the floor. Rose chuckled nervously as she lowered herself on to the couch next to me: "We promised Adrian we'll check on you in the morning. We were naturally going to knock and all, but when we heard your screaming, well, let's just say Dimitri decided to break things first and ask questions later."

"Oh", I simply replied feeling my cheeks blush, though I was pretty sure the blush wasn't all that visible underneath the already existing redness from where Rose's palm collided with my face.

"Are you alright Eka?", Mitya asked his eyes still swimming in worry.

"I'm fine. I just had a really bad nightmare, that's all."

"About Adrian?", Rose prompted taking me off guard.

"Yes, I, how did you-?"

"You cried out his name", she cut in, now being her turn to blush, "Repeatedly."

I stayed silent, because I really didn't want to have to tell them about the nightmare. Living through it once was already horrible enough. When nobody said anything for a few minutes, I awkwardly stood up and gesturing towards the kitchen offered: "You guys want anything to drink, or eat, or something?"

"No we should get going, unless you need us to stay", Rose answered cause Mitya was too busy scanning me for any signs of the lingering instability.

"I'll be fine on my own", I reassured them, giving them the toughest expression I could muster up, "You two have more important things to do than babysit me. Besides I should get somebody to fix that door."

"Are you sure?", Mitya questioned carefully.

"Absolutely", I confirmed with a forced smile, "Thanks for, um, waking me up. I'll see you guys tomorrow."

They were still worried when I walked them out, so I promised to check in with them later in order to let them know I'm still okay. As soon as they crossed the threshold and Dimitri did his best to close the door behind them, I broke down. Tears immediately washed over my face and I rushed towards my phone unable to stop myself. I dialed Adrian trying to push the lump in my throat down. After a couple of rings he picked up with a cheerful voice.

"You just can't live without me, can you?", he joked oblivious to the fact that just minutes ago I thought I've lost him for good.

"No, I can't", I replied trying desperately to keep my voice normal.

It was no use. He knew me too well, which is why the next thing out of his mouth was: "Emma, what's going on?"

"Nothing, I just, I missed you. I know, stupid right? It's been like what, less than twenty-four hours, but I can't wait for you to be back home", I babbled nervously.

"It's not stupid Gorgeous. I miss you too. My bed felt really empty last night without you in it, cooped up next to me. And this morning it was annoyingly miserable not to have your hair all over my face and the covers stolen from me, tucked underneath your feet. But just a few more hours and I'll be home."

"Yeah", I mumbled before an idea bumped into my head and I spoke up, "Hey, I was thinking, perhaps I can come and pick you up from the airport?"

"Sure, sounds good", he agreed not knowing that my desire to drive him home wasn't only about seeing him sooner rather than later, "I'll see you there then."

"See you", I said before he hung up.

 _You think you can protect him, keep him safe? You're wrong!_ , Ava screamed inside of my head,

"Go to hell", I mumbled marching to the bathroom and opening the drawer with my meds. My hand lingered above the bottles for a while, until I pulled it back and slammed the drawer shut. I'm stronger than this. _We'll see about that_ , was the last thing she said before she went away.

 **POV: Adrian**

I promised Emma a celebration upon my return, so as soon as my plane touched the ground I was on my phone making reservations for tomorrow night. She picked me up at the airport, kissing me until I was out of breath. She looked genuinely excited to see me, like I was away for months, but there was this moment, this tiny little moment, when she looked at me in a way that made me think she was afraid of something. I didn't press her to tell me what it was that got her so obviously upset during our last phone call and our reunion, but whatever it was it seemed to have faded away with my presence. By the time we got home she was already back to her usual, happy, babbling self.

I called Lissa to report a few things aside from the paperwork that was already filled out at the Academy and used the opportunity to ask her to inform everyone to clear their schedules for tomorrow. I thought that way I'd manage to keep it all a secret from Emma, but naturally she figured out I was up to something straight away and wouldn't let it go until I told her. I did however decide there was no way I was telling her where exactly the whole thing was going to happen.

"You have to tell me where we are going so I can know what to wear", Emma pleaded as she followed me around the house.

"Gorgeous, you can wear whatever the hell you want, you'll look amazing either way", I chuckled seeing her brooding expression.

"But-."

"Emma", I cut in turning around and taking her hands in mine, "It's a surprise. The whole point of those is that they are kept secret. I already spoiled it enough."

"Fine!", she growled in annoyance.

I knew though, she was nowhere close to giving up, so it didn't surprise me when a few minutes later her face lit up as she suggested: "How about this, I'll pick something and you just tell me if it's fitting? It's compromise."

"We can do that", I smiled at her stubbornness as she grinned and rushed off to the closet.

I joined her as she pushed the hangers from side to side scanning her clothes. I looked up at her hand, a sparkle catching my eye. I felt a wave of joy as I once again saw how beautiful the engagement ring looked on her finger. It wasn't a typical one, but then again neither was our relationship or either one of us. I had it made exactly how I wanted it, silver, curved and thick coming together around a small amethyst heart and four tiny diamonds. It matched her necklace perfectly. It was elegant and gentle, but bold and strong in the same time. Just like her. She followed my gaze and smiled upon fixing it on her hand as well. She stretched her fingers out and admired the ring with me.

"Looks beautiful, doesn't it?", she whispered as I glanced at her, meeting her eyes that were shining even more than the ring was, as a heartwarming smile spread over her face, "I can hardly wait. I wish the wedding was like tomorrow, or something."

"Well, we can always hope on the plane and go to Vegas", I joked pulling her hand to tangle my fingers with hers.

"Nah, you are worth the wait", she chuckled giving me a light peck.

"Emilia Johanna Ivashkov, sounds kind of awesome doesn't it?", I whispered against her lips.

"It sounds perfect!"

* * *

 **Chapter song: Sweet dreams (are made of this) -** **Marilyn Manson/ Eurhythmics/ version from Sucker Punch by Emily Browning (take your pick!)**


	27. CH27 - Kill For You

**POV: Dimitri**

"Do you even know where we are going?", Christian asked as I switched lanes on the highway, feeling a dose of exhilaration fill me as the engine roared and tugged the car forward.

Before I could even begin to form a response though, Adrian announced: "Just keep driving and I'll let you know when it's time to change course."

He gave us all the bare minimum of information about tonight. I wasn't exactly sure whether he didn't trust us enough not to tell Eka anything or did he do so in order to surprise us all. Roza and I considered getting more guardians to back us up, but gave up on the idea since we didn't want to ruin the obviously very intimate gathering Adrian planned. He promised us it wasn't going to be far away from Court or too crowded, but that, in the same time there was going to be enough people around us to make us unnoticeable to any potential enemies lurking around.

"I still don't get why you always have to be the one to drive" Roza protested as she slumped back on her seat crossing her arms on her chest.

"Because my age number is the highest amongst us", I teased her keeping my focus on the road.

"Well technically-", Eka joked from the back seat.

"You don't count", I cut in with a chuckle glancing at my rear-view mirror to meet her violet eyes, "Besides, I wanted to test out your car."

"Yeah, I think it's more about the testing part than the age part", Christian mumbled from underneath Lissa's hair, "Consider yourself lucky that you got to be in the front seat Rose!"

All six of us winded up cooped up inside Eka's new car, so between the four of them in the back there was barely any room left to breathe. I couldn't even see Christian with Lissa sitting in his lap and I barely saw Adrian pushed against the side door.

Roza glanced back at Eka in the same moment Lissa asked her: "Did you guys pick a date?"

That right there was the moment Christian, Adrian and I lost any chance we had to speak for the next solid fifteen minutes, since our women turned into teenage girls, babbling and giggling as they talked over the details of the impending wedding. Surprisingly, Eka spoke the least since Roza and Lissa could barely stop long enough to take in their breaths. As they talked I let my mind wonder, setting my eyes on the road. I still couldn't believe it. Emilia and Adrian are getting married. If just a year ago you would have asked me who'd be the first one to take such a leap I would have, without a doubt, said the name of anyone else but Adrian Ivashkov. Not to mention he was about to marry someone who has been my best friend, my lover and at some point the woman I thought I'd be marrying one day. It was scary how much our lives have changed over the course of a few years.

Adrian's sudden instruction left me almost no time to react, since he spoke up loudly "take the next exit!" minutes before we passed it.

"Why in the Heavens are we going to Stroudsburg?", Roza voiced reading the exit sign as I sharply tugged the wheel making everyone in the car cringe in order to stay in their seats.

"Oh, Adrian, you remembered", Eka squealed out as she attempted to give him a hug in the limited space they had at their disposal.

"Of course I did. Best pizza in the area right?", he chuckled.

"Pizza? Seriously? I'm starting to question your creativity Ivashkov", Christian scolded playfully.

"It's Emma's favorite restaurant and the first one we went to together", Adrian elaborated managing to wrap his arm around Eka's shoulders.

"I love pizza", Roza exclaimed.

"Rose, you love anything food related", Lissa laughed.

"You ain't wrong there", Roza sang causing our laughter to fill the car.

 **POV: Emilia**

He picked the same booth we sat in the first time. I knew he'd do it, it was just like him to pay attention to such details. Once we settled in and ordered, the conversation erupted over the table, while I used the moment to snuggle up to Adrian. He looked down at me with a loving smile and asked: "You like?"

"I love", I simply answered sneaking a kiss.

"If you guys start making out, I'm out of here", Christian joked earning a kick from Adrian under the table.

We pulled apart slightly and joined the chitchat about the various topics flying around. After about an hour we were all full up to our noses from the countless pieces of pizza we've consumed, all exploding in laughter as each of us took turns in making a dramatic speech in the honor of the engagement as we toasted with our cokes. Once we were done I pushed Adrian out of the booth so that I can stand up.

"I'll be right back", I whispered to him as he looked up at me and gave me cordial smile nodding.

"I'm taking your seat for a bit, it looks way more comfy", Christian announced sliding from his chair into the corner of the booth and offering Lissa his hand so that she could join him. She giggled and hoped off of her chair sliding next to him.

"Seriously?", Adrian chuckled, but took a seat on one of the empty chairs.

I laughed before walking away, shaking my head while I made my way to the restroom. On my way back to our table I got so lost in my thoughts I nearly knocked over a girl who suddenly appeared right in front of me. Finding my balance I mumbled out: "Excuse me."

The girl just stood there, a blunt look on her face, her brown eyes unfocused as she asked in a southern accent: "You Emilia Lazar?"

"Um, yes", I responded completely dumbfounded.

"I got something for you", she said producing an envelope out of her purse. She shoved it into my hands and turning on her heal hurriedly walked away. I watched her go, in confusion, before looking down onto the paper in my hands. It wasn't signed, no postmarks on it, it was just a plain red envelope.

"What was that about?", Adrian asked when I reached him, pointing towards the door through which the girl disappeared.

"I have no idea", I muttered, sitting down while turning the envelope around and ripping it open.

Inside was a card. It was the same blood red color, folded in two, but this time I found something written on it. I gasped, feeling my blood freeze in my veins as I read the four words I never thought I'd see or hear again.

 _For my red Queen_

The whole room started spinning, my vision coming down to those words that were burning the inside of my skull. I realized the conversation around me stopped and I barely registered Adrian gently nudging my shoulder. I began trembling as I fumbled to open the card with my shaky hands. Everything that followed, happened so fast it was almost impossible to grasp any of it. The inside of the card read " _Behind you_!". In the moment my eyes landed on the bloodcurdling warning, I heard a horrific, rippling, horror-movie like scream in the background. _That's when I knew tonight is the night I'll die!_

 **POV: Adrian**

Seconds after the screaming began people were already on their feet running in every direction possible, consumed in absolute terror even though half of them had no idea what was happening. I turned around following the deafening sound of the girl that started the commotion. _I wished I didn't_. Emilia was quick to track my gaze to the thing that led to whole hell breaking lose. It was literally a head on a platter lying on the table behind us. It was a very familiar head.

"No", Emilia wailed her voice cracking as she jumped to her feet.

"Emma, don't look", I warned as I tried holding her back by reaching for her arms.

"NO! AVERY!", she cried out as she recognized who the head used to belong to.

"Emma, don't", I begged pulling her by her hand.

"Oh, God", I heard Lissa whisper behind me.

A swift glance towards them told me they've all already seen it. They were just standing there, completely dumbfounded, shocked, scared and disgusted.

"We need to get out of here", Rose yelled trying to overpower the turmoil and clamor of the crowd.

I looked back at Emilia who was petrified, staring at the scene in front of her, her eyes glossy from the tears forming in them. I enfolded her in my arms, shaking and nudged her towards the exit. Though I too was freaking the hell out, I whispered to her as calmly as I could: "There is nothing you can do for her anymore Emilia. We need to go."

In the minute we joined the crowd all of the lights went out, plunging the restaurant into complete darkness. The already existing hum of panic was kicked up a notch, causing people to start pushing each other trying to reach the exit as soon as possible. I heard Lissa call out my name making me realize she wasn't by my side anymore.

"Dimitri", Rose's frantic cry cracked through the darkness as well.

"Just stay close", I hallooed to Emilia squeezing her hand.

Despite my determination not to move an inch away from her, the jolting, shouldering and elbowing of the crowd became rougher propelling us forwards like a strong tide. I was clutching her hand as tight as I could without crushing her bones, but I could feel her being slowly ripped away from me.

"Emilia", I tried calling her and pulling her back, but somebody bulldozed through my grasp and I felt her hand slipping from mine.

"Emma", I shouted even though no use would come of it.

The crowed kept carrying me until I was spat out onto the street. Once there I tried turning around, but soon realized there was no way I was getting back in. I scanned the people around me, trying to find anyone from our little group before Dimitri stumbled right into me.

"Come on, let's go get her", he shouted, determination washing his features as he helped me push through the wave crashing against us.

 **POV: Emilia**

"Adrian", I cried out when his fingers slipped from mine, but the wild roar around me muffled my screams.

The next thing I knew was that I was falling, people literally stampeding over me. I pushed myself up stumbling backwards until my back hit a door and I tumbled into a dark room. Turning around I managed to register I was in the kitchen and as my eyes started getting use to the darkness I noticed a shining red "exit" sign across from where I was standing. Determined to get out of here as fast as possible, I almost ran towards it until I heard a piercing voice.

"How'd you like my engagement present?"

I froze in my tracks. I wanted so desperately to run, but my legs were just completely stuck, terror washing over me. I barely managed to whisper as I looked up into the darkness: "Alexei."

"Hello Love," he greeted me, pushing himself away from the shadows and in that moment everything started puzzling together. All this time I thought Avery was tormenting me, but "A" turned out be somebody else completely.

"It was you, the man on the gas station, the messa-", I blurted out unable to stop myself.

"Yes the message, the nightmare, Avery's head as the main course, all of it was me. Though I have to say, I never would have been able to put that scary dream in your head if it wasn't for dear, sweet, crazy Avery. She was very useful, so much I considered keeping her alive, but this was way better."

I stayed quiet, swallowing hard and glancing towards the exit again. There was no way I could reach it before he could reach me. He took my silence as his cue to continue: "I finished the job once and for all now, there is no way you're bringing her back from decapitation. And the look on your face when you saw her was just priceless. You hated what she did to you, but you still felt sorry for her, you still cared for her. Pathetic."

I carefully began moving so that I can position myself towards the exit better. Taking my chances was a lot better than just standing here, waiting to die. I began talking again hoping I'll keep his concentration more on my words than my intentions: "But why? Why go through all that trouble? Just to torture me?"

"No, of course not. I mean torturing you was just a big bonus, but my plans are a lot bigger than that."

"What are your plans?", I prompted getting ready to launch towards the door.

"Well, that's for me to know and for you to wait and see!", he answered gazing at my feet letting me know I got caught.

He reached me in a heartbeat, lifting me off of the ground and throwing me away with all his strength. I hit the wall so hard it felt like air was being sucked out of my lungs completely. I slumped to the floor followed by the crashing sound of metal pots and pans hitting the tiles. I was on the verge of fainting when Alexie's shoes entered my narrowed, blurry vision. I felt my body being lifted again before he slammed me back into the wall with a crushing intensity. His cold eyes were fixed on mine, the corner of his lips twitching as his hand drifted lower down my neck.

"I've read this quote once that reminds me of this plan I've forged just for you, your own personal, customized torture. It goes something like this", he spat out grabbing my chin with his other hand and pushing my head back into the wall, "Death isn't the greatest loss in life, it's what dies inside of us while we live."

I desperately tried to wiggle out of his grip and catch my breath, but the more I fought the more his hand tightened on my neck cutting of my air supply.

"Don't forget my sweet Queen, if you run from me I will pursue. That's what I told you, remember? Yet another quote I admit, but I meant it. I promised you that if you ever leave me I'll make you hurt. I intend to keep my promise."

I distantly heard a loud pounding on the exit door, like somebody was trying to break it down. I was useless, paralyzed in Alexei's strong hold, my world coming down to those red-ringed devilish eyes. I wanted to call out for help, but I couldn't produce a sound even if I tried. And I didn't have the strength to try. It was over for me. My past has finally caught up and it wasn't letting me out of its claws. Maybe I deserved it, maybe I deserved to die after all the life's I've taken.

Alexei gave me another ominous grin like he could read my thoughts and added: "But, I'm not going to kill you. That would be too easy. You were such a stupid little girl trying to have her way, so now I'm going to have mine. I'll let you live while I slowly and agonizingly kill everything inside of you. I'll make you wish that you were long dead. I'll let you drift through a pathetic life knowing that everything that follows is your fault you disobedient bitch."

Whoever was in front of the exit door managed to kick in one part of it letting in the light from the street lamps and voices calling my name. Alexei brought his face inches from mine and whispered: "I'll take the only thing you care about, the only person you can't live without and you'll watch as the thing that you're afraid of the most consumes him and devours him, destroying him forever. And that my sweet, that will be my revenge."

His clutch was instantly replaced by the hard floor as he disappeared into thin air. I caught and blinked rolling over to my side and curling myself in a ball.

"Emilia", I heard a shout as the door finally gave under the pressure, dashing on the floor.

"Adrian, don't" I heard Mitya yelling, but soon I felt a soothing touch on my shoulder.

I twisted my head up, finding instant comfort in my green emeralds that were swimming in an ocean of concern and fear. I reached up gliding my fingers over his cheek. He pulled me into his arms, whispering softly: "It's okay, you're safe now."

"Adrian", I whispered his name like a prayer as I felt warmth spread through my body. It took me a moment to realize it was the Spirit. He helped me to my legs and wrapped his arm tightly around me so that he can support me as we headed for the door. I was fully healed, but my legs were still shaky.

"Where are the others?" I mumbled out.

"Roza took them to the car and called back up, they are waiting for us there", Mitya explained, helping Adrian walk me down the short flight of metal stairs leading from the restaurant to the back alley.

As soon as we were outside I heard the commotion around us and police sirens echoing through the night. Mitya obviously registered the same sounds since he swiftly added: "We need to go now. It'll take a lot of Alchemist's to clean this mess up."

We made our progress slowly and just as we nearly reached the end of the alley I noticed a shadow moving in the dark.

"Mitya", I managed to scream out before somebody launched towards him.

It was a rare thing for Dimitri to get caught off guard, so I was surprised to see his attacker managing to swiftly tackle him to the ground. He moved fast aiming for Dimitri's neck as soon as he was down. However, being off guard was not something that lasted long for Dimitri so he easily evaded the next attack. As Dimitri fought the Strigoi that attacked him, I saw two more men appear in the alley, one of them instantly joining the first Strigoi. What surprised me was that the other on was human, a human with a gun aimed towards Mitya's head ready to fire. Before I could react to anything Adrian ripped away from my arms jumping towards the human and knocking him down the impact making him fire, but drop the gun too. Luckily, the gunshot only grazed Mitya's hand and he kept fighting like he didn't even feel it.

The human seemed to be unconscious so Adrian turned to join me again in the same moment Rose appeared, the streetlamp bathing her in light, illuminating all her fierceness and making her look like an avenging angel. She assessed the situation quickly, but before she could take a step towards Dimitri he yelled while staking one of the Strigoi he was fighting: "Get them out of here!"

Without hesitation she grabbed my elbow pulling me away and beckoned Adrian to join us. As he rushed towards us I barely caught the site of the guy he knocked down jumping to his feet and taking out a blade. He plunged towards Adrian, aiming straight for his heart as I shrieked. In that moment I didn't think, I didn't feel, I just moved. My body was fueled by one singular urge, protecting the man I love. I picked up the gun off of the ground, lifted it and fired.

* * *

 **Chapter song: Kill for you -** **Skylar Grey ft. Eminem**

 **From the previous AN: I'm not sure if I mentioned this before, but I've never actually been anywhere near Stroudsburg, it's just a place I found on Google, so the restaurant and pretty much everything else about the town is just my wild imagination running around the place. So if by any chance anyone reading this is from Stroudsburg or has been there, sorry for the inaccuracies.**

 **P.S. Don't worry impala67 the Dimitri and Adrian story is strictly built on friendship bases. They are after all cousins, so it'd be a little twisted for them to be together (well if we are not in the Game of Thrones world at least)! I'll try to push the posting date, but I'm not making any promises. My exams are fast approaching and if I keep writing all the time I shall not pass them XD**


	28. CH28 - What I've Done

**POV: Adrian**

One spot. She's been staring at just one single spot for hours. No movements, no words, just breathing paralyzed and trapped inside of her head. It was safe to say I've tried everything to shake her out of the haze she was in, but it was useless. So I just lay next to her, curving around her fragile frame and enfolding her in my embrace. I listened to her shallow breaths and her steady heartbeat in silence, just trying to transfer my warmth to her, letting her know that I was there and she's not alone. I lay there until her eyelids closed and sleep drifted over her. Once she was long lost in the world of dreams I carefully got up, covering her with a blanket and brushing away a few lost strands of her hair.

I strolled downstairs to the living room, only to be reminded that our friends were still there. Rose was straddling a chair she's dragged from the kitchen, talking quietly into her phone, Lissa and Christian were on the sofa discussing something and Dimitri was half sitting half leaning against the armchair, staring at one of my paintings with a brooding expression. The scene irritatingly reminded me of the time Jill got attacked. Upon my entrance Rose disconnected her call almost instantly, a pissed off look on her face, while Lissa looked up at me and adding to the feeling of déjà vu asked: "How is she doing?"

"Not good", I answered with a lot more control over my emotions than I had the last time.

"Of course, she just saw her cousin's chopped off head and came face to face with a Strigoi", Christian observed.

"That's not it", Dimitri muttered, knowing the same thing I did, reminding me, yet again, of how well he knew her and understood her.

Since it was evident he wasn't about to elaborate, I added: "She just killed someone."

After a brief pause, Christian mumbled: "Not to be rude or anything, but this is not exactly the first time she's done that. I mean she's been a Strigoi for five years."

"Exactly", I confirmed, "She has taken lives when she had no soul, no conscience, nothing to stop her and make her care. Now, there is no evil inside of her driving her to do it and all of her emotions, her grief, it's drowning her."

"But it's not like she enjoyed it, she did it to protect you", Rose argued.

"It doesn't matter", Dimitri concluded with a grave look, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

I faintly heard a distant noise somewhere in the background, like glass shattering. I tensed up, but no sounds except for our breathing followed. I quickly brushed it off, concentrating on the more important matter at hand. I gave Lissa an accusatory look, knowing the answer to my question before I even asked it: "Did you know?"

"Know what?", she answered, attempting a look of innocence.

"Don't play coy. Did you know about Avery's kidnapping?"

"Yes", she whispered, guilt washing over her.

"And it didn't cross your mind to mention it?", I fumed, clutching my hands into fists in order to keep myself in check.

"I was going to", she cried out, "I just wanted to give you guys a worry-free night, before burdening you with all of that."

"Well you've done a splendid job."

"Adrian, this isn't Lissa's fault. How was she supposed to know that it's all connected to Emilia?", Rose jumped protecting her best friend.

"Hmm, let's see, her cousin got kidnapped by a Strigoi, yeah, you're right totally not connectable", I retorted.

"We didn't know who kidnapped her and even if we took a blind guess saying it was Alexei, I still don't see his motive."

"You mean besides the tremendous desire of her ex-whatever to torment her as a punishment for screwing him over?", Christian prompted.

"She told us everything that happened. He himself said it wasn't about that", Rose protested.

"And you're going to take the words of a deranged-psycho-Strigoi for granted?", Christian sneered.

"Christian, why would anyone, deranged or not, go through so much trouble just to torture someone? It doesn't make any sense? And what about the rest of the people from the hospital, what happened to them? It's obvious he didn't pull this off alone. So how many of them helped him? Why? How does the human guy fit into all of it? I mean sure, Strigoi keep humans around occasionally, but it's just all too strange to be coincidental", Rose blurted out in one breath.

Everyone stayed silent for a while, mulling over all of the unanswered questions Rose reminded us off. Eventually, pulling my shit together, I spoke up: "Let's agree on the fact that it's not coincidental, that this is a part of some bigger picture. If so, we'll have to figure it all out, but right now I need you guys to go home so I take care of my fiancé."

Once I walked the out I went to check on Emma, pushing the door of the bedroom open gently, waking on my tiptoes, trying not to wake her up. That was until I noticed something was off, the blanket was positioned strangely, her black curls missing from the pillows, the window opened, cold air blowing in. The next couple of steps I took were rushed and loud. I tugged the blanket towards me, only to discover what I already knew. The bed was empty, Emilia was gone.

 **POV: Emilia**

At a certain point I felt him shift behind me, gingerly getting off the bed. In the matter of seconds, his warmth was replaced by a blanket, his touch lingering on my face only for a few brief seconds and then he was gone. As soon as I was alone, without his presence to calm me, my eyes flew open and I straightened up in the bed. Warm and cold waves washed over me repeatedly one after another, I felt sick to my stomach and my entire body stiffened, writhing under the agony consuming me. _I killed someone._ No matter how much I tried reasoning with myself, regardless of all the excuses swimming around my mind, I knew that, despite my good intentions, I've done something terribly wrong.

I tossed the blanket away and got up, barely standing on my trembling legs. I couldn't breathe so I opened the window, shivering as the cold air crushed against my chest while I leaned out. When I pulled back, I restlessly walked to the bathroom, leaning against the sink for support as I looked up, my distraught expression staring back at me from the mirror. I felt numb, but that numbness transformed into anger as dark thoughts filled me. _Now I'm truly evil. Now I hate myself._

Before I could even think it through, my hand clenched into a fist and flew up, slamming against the mirror and smashing my reflection in it. The glass fell into the sink and I instantly flinched, pressing my hand against my chest while wrapping the other one around it like I was holding a wounded bird. _Now I literally have blood on my hands too,_ I thought as I watched uneven, red circles spread around the tiny shards of glass stuck in my knuckles.

I suddenly felt the need to wash off the guilt, the anger and the panic. I opted for something rather literal, stripping by clothes off, while ignoring the stinging pain the fabric of my shirt gliding over my wounds caused. I filled the tub before slowly lowering into it, a small trace of relief working its way through my body as the warm water embraced me. I rubbed my hands against my skin, scrubbing the invisible taint from it, but only causing the water to change color from the blood still oozing out of the cuts.

Even though there was no one talking to me outside or inside my head, I felt like the world itself was too loud, judging me through every rustle of the leafs outside, the soft noise of crickets in the distance, the water-drops dripping from the tap and hitting the edge of the bathtub, the ticking of the clock hanging across from me. I wanted, I need to shut it all out, so I gripped the edges of the tub and pushed myself downwards, letting the water gently slide over my head and pull the strand of my hair carrying them slowly in various directions. I closed my eyes and relished the sound of silence. It was so lenient, so calming, such an unearthly feeling of peacefulness. I wish I could stay like this, just drift away and disappear into nothingness. But then, all of a sudden, I felt myself being jerked harshly out of the blissful oblivion and my body crashed through the surface leaving me in a slight state of shock. I blinked up, trying to determine what caused the snap back to reality and the first thing I fixed one was a pair of furious and fierce emerald eyes.

"What the hell are you doing?", Adrian shouted as the contents of the bathtub kept splashing against his legs and onto the tiles underneath him.

"I, I was, I was just washing up-", I stammered, as his hands straighten up my helpless, fragile frame further.

"Oh and where does drowning yourself fit into that?", he screamed, harshly ripping me out of the tub and landing me on my weak feet.

"I wasn't, I just wanted, I wanted-", I muttered, before falling silent cause I honestly didn't know how to explain myself.

"You-", he started before his gaze landed on my hand, "Emilia, what did you do?"

His voice toned down as anger got replaced by worry. He gently pulled my hand closer examining it. He moved to place his palm over the cuts as he stated: "We need to get this fixed."

"No", I muttered twitching my hand back, earning a confused look from him, "No spirit, no magic. You can help me patch it up the natural way."

"Emilia-."

"No!", I firmly repeated fixing his eyes with the most determined look I could form.

"Okay, okay, fine", he said, reluctantly letting go of me and turning around to search through the bathroom cabinet, "Dry yourself up and pull on your robe until I get the first aid kit."

As I rubbed the towel against my skin I watched Adrian dig through the medical supplies with a big frown on his face. That's when I realized something. _I am evil, but at least I'm evil for the right reasons. I'm going to hell for the things I've done, but he is worth it._

 **POV: Adrian**

"There, it's done", I whispered as I finished bandaging her hand.

I raised it to my lips and placed a gentle kiss on top of it, wordlessly trying to show I wasn't angry at her, I was just worried and afraid. She nodded in understanding as she wiggled her hand out of mine to graze my cheek with her fingers before gently griping my chin. I leaned in, kissing her with an unspoken apology and she used her grip to keep me in place, deepening the kiss. Like always, I got intoxicated by the sweetness of her lips, losing myself entirely until she moved to straddle my lap. I managed to move back slightly, mumbling against her lips: "You need to rest."

"No, I need you", she responded hugging me around my neck.

"Emma-."

"Please Adrian", she whispered pleadingly and unsurprisingly I was a goner.

It was maddening how I couldn't resist her, even when I knew it wasn't right. I stopped trying to push her away and allowed her lips to find mine again.

 ***M-ish* (not graphic, more like T)**

I slid her robe down, letting my hands wonder over her body, purposefully making my movements light and slow, because I wanted to comfort her with every touch and every kiss. She undressed me with no haste before I picked her up and gently laid her onto the bed. I climbed next to her, leaving small kisses on every inch of her skin I could reach. We were always driven by passion and hunger before, but this was different. Yeah, there was passion, it was always there between us, but the usual flame dialed down to tiny sparks, everything else turning into a desire to lose ourselves in one another in an emotional, compassionate and tender way. We moved in sync as always, every thrust, sigh and kiss brushing away the rest of the world slowly, but surely.

 ***definitely not M, go back and read it wuss***

Afterwards, I held her in my arms like my life depended on it, because it actually did. I couldn't live without her and I couldn't bear to see her suffer because of the actions she took to protect me. She relaxed in my embrace and I knew I managed to push away the darkness at least for a little while. I held her tight through the night, praying to whatever was out there that she'll be alright, that we'll make it through this, that we'll defeat everything that comes our way, that I'll never lose her.

 **POV: Emilia**

Waking up in Adrian's arms was usually the best part of my day. However, as soon as my eyes opened, I felt my heartbeat kick up a notch. The waves of panic I had last night were gone, but I was still left with their bitter aftertaste. Admittedly, Adrian came rather close to kissing my worries away, but they sadly still lingered. After swallowing the acidic pill of "I just murdered someone", the bigger problem started to settle into my head.

As always, when I looked up at Adrian I found myself admiring his beautiful features, the relaxed lines of his angelic face, traces of innocence I so often forgot he had within him. This time around though, there was also a gloomy cloud of menace only I could see, lingering and floating above him. I knew what Alexei meant when he promised to make me suffer, what pain awaited me, what was the only thing he could take away from, the only thing I had left. It was Adrian and his love. He was everything and without him I was nothing.

I shivered at the thought of how big of a threat Alexei posed when it came to the love of my life, which subconsciously made Adrian tighten his grip and snuggle next to me more. I knew that one day I'll have to face the person who terrified me the most, but I was hoping that time wouldn't come this soon. For the first time, in a long time, something was crystal clear to me. There wasn't a slightest chance we could both keep walking this earth. As long as he is alive I won't be able to rest. I have to finish this once and for all, find him and end him, even if it means I'll die, which was probable since I could hardly imagine fighting him and living to tell the story. I was ready to take any risk though, if it meant saving Adrian.

The moment Adrian opened his eyes, gazing at me adoringly as the last traces of his dreams ran away from our bed, I knew I had to do something I never thought I could. I had to lie to him. Since the moment I set my eyes on these mesmerizing emeralds I have never let a single lie past my lips, not even the little things. I felt compelled to tell him the truth, so keeping this from him, lying to him now felt miserably disgusting, but it was a necessity, because he will never let me go and neither will our friends. This was something I had to do alone. And if I was going to step over that line, I was doing to do it thoroughly. There was no point in hurting him further by worrying him about my condition, especially now that I probably didn't have much time left with him. I'll make him believe I'm alright, make myself believe it too, because it's the only way I'll find enough courage to fight back.

"Morning Handsome", I whispered, pushing my lips into a smile.

"Hey Gorgeous, you look a lot better", he responded while gliding his hand up and down my body, clearly satisfied with my play pretend improved mood.

"Are you trying to say I usually look like crap?", I joked going into the full-blown-I'm-just-fine mode.

"Shut up", was the only thing he bothered to say before gracing me with the glorious feeling of his lips.

At some point we managed to get ourselves out of the bed and onto the breakfast making job. He opened the fridge, rummaging through it as he asked: "Any special wishes this morning?"

"Actually I'm in the mood for some pancakes", I confessed, thinking about the last time he made those for me.

I guess you could say I was all about walking down the memory lane. Life threatening situations can do that to a person. Plus, it beats thinking about the details of the "how to kill my ex-Strigoi-boyfriend?" plan.

"Marvelous idea", he responded grabbing the ingredients and setting them on the counter, "You want to help?"

"Sure."

I rounded the counter and came to stand beside him in the moment he accidentally pushed some random cookbook off the counter, making it land on the tiles with a loud bang. I twitched back, almost tripping over my own feet which dragged his attention, making him freeze upon seeing my alarmed expression. He touched my arm carefully as he muttered: "Hey, are you okay?"

"Mhm", I hummed as I tried to force my mind into a rational mode where it could process the sound as anything rather than a gunshot.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm totally fine. The noise just surprised me, that's all", I reassured him, doing my best to give him a wide smile and topping it off with a quick kiss before bypassing him and grabbing a bowl. _I'm okay, I'm fine, everything is alright!_ If you repeat a lie time and time again, you start believing it yourself right?

Adrian was still eyeing me suspiciously, so I quickly added: "You want to measure the ingredients while I crack the eggs?"

"Mhm", now it was his time to hum, as if he was letting me know that pretending and hiding my true feelings in front of him was going to be harder than I thought it would. Luckily, I was pretty good at masking my aura, perks of spending time with a Spirit User boyfriend. I was just hoping that will be enough to make it work, because his life depended on it.

 **POV: Adrian**

It was annoying as hell that her aura wasn't telling me squat. Neither was she, but I knew she was hiding something. It was impossible for her mood to go from zero to a hundred in one night. I saw the pain in her eyes before she closed them and it was still there this morning, but her words and gestures constantly tried to prove otherwise. Though she seemed pretty cheerful, even going as far as to giggle when she playfully puffed some flour my way, I could still feel a slight pang in my gut. I was almost certain something disastrous was brewing under her calm façade and I was desperate to find out what, but I also didn't want to push her too hard.

She did most of the talking during breakfast, while I kept studying her, waiting for any slip-ups in her behavior like the one with the cookbook, but there were none. By the time we were done with our coffees, I finally relentlessly gave up. Either she was really doing better or she has gotten damn well at pretending. Maybe I was just lying to myself when I kept repeating over and over in my head that everything is going to be alright, that all of it will pass, but lying was the only thing I could do at this point.

I did wonder what will happen when we go to give our statements, whether talking about it will trigger something, so when Lissa called to notify me it's time to come to her office my insides did a back-flip. On our way there though, Emma looked more like someone who just got out of the house to take a stroll, rather than someone who was about to stand in front of a room full of people and tell them about how she committed a murder.

Rose was waiting for us outside and, as soon as we reached her, she announced in a hushed voice: "Lissa requested a smaller meeting in order to make things more comfortable. Ariana will be the only council member present."

I nodded, while Rose glanced at Emma and with a supportive smile added: "Don't be nervous! But the time we are done with our testimonies, there'll be hardly any doubts about your actions left."

"I'm not nervous", she stated, glancing towards the door with a blank expression, "I did nothing wrong."

Rose frowned, giving me a quizzical look behind Emma's back, obviously just as confused by her sudden change of heart as I was. I shrugged, having no explanation to offer, before we walked in.

When Emma's turn came, she talked about everything that has happened with absolute tranquility. Arianna's interruptions were seldom and they were usually made when she asked questions she deemed necessary. She kept scribbling notes into the pad before her, rarely lifting her eyes from it.

"Guardian Hathaway was trying to lead Lord Ivashkov and I to safety when the human got up and produced a blade from his coat", Emma's voiced echoed in the silent room.

When she paused, Arianna glanced at her and prompted: "And then?"

"Then he started running, the tip of the blade aimed at Lord Ivashkov, so I grabbed the gun and shot him", Emma finished, the expression on her face not moving an inch.

"If you haven't done so, Lord Ivashkov's life would have been on the line, correct?", Ariana asked.

"Yes", Emma confirmed, finalizing her speech.

"Alright, thank you for your cooperation Lady Lazar. The witnesses supported the story you just told, so you will be cleared of all charges. The case will be closed and my notes sent to the Alchemists so they can sort out the administration. You're free to go."

 _A life was taken and it all came down to administration, no wonder Alchemists viewed us as monsters_ , I thought as we got up to leave. Just like that it was over, though I was certain it was just a glimpse at the tip of the iceberg of our problems.

As we walked outside I felt Emma's hand graze mine. Her touch felt different and though I laced my fingers with hers without a second thought, I knew I was right to doubt her. She was, for sure, playing us all, playing me and I didn't feel any better about the fact that I was about to do the same to her. I just hopped that after everything, we'll be able to forgive each other for the things we've done.

 **POV: Dimitri**

I barely managed to open the front door of my own home. Something was blocking it from the inside. As I slipped in I was immediately greeted by boxes upon boxes of files and papers. I huffed and shouted: "Roza, what in the God's name-?"

"Good, you're here", she exclaimed popping her head out of the gym, "Come join us."

"Was this really necessary?", I asked as I managed to push my way towards the gym that was now turned into a research center. The boxes in the hallway were nothing compared to the ones stacked up in here.

Roza wore a deathly serious expression as she explained: "This is the best place for secret government stuff."

"Rose, please stop calling it secret government stuff", Lissa exclaimed, "It's just research."

"Yeah, research about an evil mastermind Alexei, his minions and plans. Sounds like secret gov-."

"Don't, just don't say it again", Christian cut in, raising his hand to massage his temples.

"Where is Eka?", I asked, looking at Adrian whose eyes were glued to the screen of the laptop in front of him.

"She won't be joining us. She needs to stay out of this, so she can stay safe", he responded firmly without bothering to look up.

"Are you sure you want to lie to her?", I questioned, knowing damn well how she felt about lies.

"No! I don't _want_ to lie to my fiancé, but I have to. It's for her own good", he retorted typing angrily on his keyboard.

"So what is my task?", I simply asked getting him to finally fix his gaze on mine.

He smiled bitterly before he said: "You get to do the most fun task of them all. You get to create a distraction."

* * *

 **Chapter song: What I've Done - Linkin Park**

 **From the previous AN: My wonderful friend who goes by the name of najmanjanja around here, helped me get my writing mojo back! She is awesome and I want everybody reading this to know it! This chapter is naturally dedicated to her! Thank you najmanjanja for being so amazing and for constantly supporting my writing!**

 **P.S. I hope nobody got offended by the little M warning joke I made (the wuss part, just a JOKE)! I originally didn't put any warnings, but then I realized somebody might think its M stuff because of the robe coming off part. But seriously the only "inappropriate" word used is thrust so feel free to read it.**


	29. CH29 - Pressure

**POV: Emilia**

Ever since the night of my hearing, I was fairly certain Adrian was avoiding me. He was hardly ever home, constantly working with Lissa on some projects he never actually spoke about, thus it was starting to feel like he was hiding something from me. I couldn't really be angry at him though, even if I wanted to, since I too was mostly on my own, plotting and hiding my plans about Alexei. My free time, however, wasn't as vast as I thought it would be since, for some reason, Dimitri tended to constantly stop by or take me out for a coffee or a walk. He probably did it because he was worried that if I stayed cooped up in the house all day I'd go off the deep end again. I didn't mind spending time with him, hell it was good to have my best friend by my side again, but he had a tendency of distracting me from my goals and that was becoming a problem. The more it took for me to come up with a way to face Alexei, the more opportunities he had to come up with a way to destroy me.

Lucky, hanging out with Dimitri had its perks. One that I particularly appreciated was that I somehow managed to persuade him to spar with me. I did a lot of fighting as a Strigoi, but now I wasn't nearly as ready to fight Alexei as I would like to be. Well, I'll probably never be nearly as ready, but a little training wouldn't hurt. A couple of sessions with Dimitri and I already felt more confident about my skills, especially with his constant praises. I realized he has never actually seen me fighting. Sure, he showed me some defensive moves once upon a time, but I practiced attacking on my own, well actually, I practiced a lot of it with Alexei, so picking up new tricks from Dimitri was certainly proving to be more than useful. The least it was going to do for me was giving me an element of surprise when I finally venture into the fight of my life or fight for my life, however you put it.

Days passed fast and in a blur, so it didn't really surprise me that I've managed to forget my own birthday. Apparently, I was the only one who made that mistake. The first thing I found coming downstairs, on the morning of that day, was a big box with a note on top of it, laying on the coffee table in the living room. The note read: _Wear me, birthday girl! Adrian!_ I popped the box open finding a beautiful little black dress and an elegant black cardigan to go along with it folded neatly inside. I smiled at the present. It was the exact outfit I drooled over the last time Adrian and I went shopping, but decided not to buy it because of the price tag screaming at me. I had a lot of money, but not an endless amount and I was still feeling slightly guilty over the way-too-expensive car I got before that.

I looked for Adrian all around the house, but he was nowhere to be found, so finally I decided to follow the instructions he left for me and rushed to the bathroom to dress up and make myself decent. After all of the bad things that happened, I was actually beginning to feel excitement over the surprise Adrian obviously prepared for me. Maybe that's the reason he was so secretive lately.

A knock on the front door was perfectly timed. I rushed to open it, but before I could, I noticed a pair of dark silver satin gloves lying on the floor right beneath my feet. The writing on the paper attached to them was also rather familiar. _I'm outside, come and join me. Dimitri!_

I quickly pulled on my coat and stepped out of the house, finding Dimitri leisurely leaning against the wall while his eyes rested somewhere on the horizon. He gave me a once over followed by a warm smile as he wordlessly handed me another box, this time a bit smaller. It contained a marvelous silver shawl that matched the gloves I pulled on mere seconds ago. I tugged it out, gingerly wrapping it around my shoulders and neck as I smiled at the words neatly written on the card that lay at the bottom of the package: _Put me on! It's a long walk! Lissa!_

Dimitri offered me his arm and I slipped mine through it before we walked down the yard. I scanned his face in curiosity, but he was wearing one of those indecipherable guardian masks, so after a few moments I cracked and prompted: "What are you all up to?"

"It's a surprise Eka, you'll see", he answered, breaking his façade only briefly in order to playfully wink at me.

"What's up with you guys and surprises? I actually don't like them that much!", I protested, frowning to myself.

"Because you're a control freak?", he teased, reminding me of an argument we head ages ago.

"No, because I'm impatient", I chuckled, hugging his arm tighter as our path suddenly got crossed.

The guardian that stood before us didn't seem to have the slightest intention of moving so I attempted to surpass him before Dimitri stopped me short. I glanced back at the man whose face suddenly showed recognition, like he just realized who we were and remembered the reason he so abruptly stopped us. He extended his hand, offering me a tiny paper gift bag as his face spread into a cordial smile.

"Happy birthday", he said, while I uncertainty clasped my fingers around the purplish paper and then he swiftly walked away.

"Seriously?", I asked looking up at Dimitri, "How many people are a part of this thing?"

"Only a few", he assured me, waving toward the bag, "Open it!"

I pushed my hand into the bag and pulled out a small tiara. I knew who it was from even before I glanced at the handwriting on the side of the bag. She obviously didn't bother to get a card like the others and it was something I totally expected of her. _It's time for a party Princess. Get your freak on. Rose!_

"Princess?", I questioned, as I placed the tiara carefully on top of my head.

"She got the idea from one of your letters to me", Dimitri explained laughing.

"I'm not even going to comment", I chuckled as we approached our destination.

I almost tripped over my own feet realizing we were standing in front of my house. The renovation works were done, but I haven't been inside of it for a while since Adrian and I decided our home will be at his place. We both liked it there and, in all honesty, it didn't really matter to us where we'll live as long as we get to be together. In front of the entrance we found a beautiful bouquet of violets lying on the welcome mat. I picked them up and stuck my nose into them sniffing their gentle smell before I plucked the little card stuck in between the petals and carefully unfolded it. _Come on in and brighten our day! Christian!_

Dimitri pushed the door open for me and, as soon as I stepped inside, I heard a loud shout: "Happy Birthday!"

There were a lot of people there, a lot more than I expected. My old friends from court, the cousins I actually liked, Jill, Eddie, Lissa, Christian, Rose, a bunch of other people I've met during my time back at court and most importantly, Adrian, who had a wide smile on his face as he approached me and kissed me, whispering: "Hope this isn't too much."

"It is, but it's also amazing. Thank you", I responded before the rest of my party guests ripped me away from me to wish me a happy birthday.

Though I loved my surprise and felt so excited and happy at first, an hour later I was about to jump out of my skin. The people were too loud and my heart skipped a beat every time I heard a noise like the confetti popping or the corks flying out of the wine and champagne bottles. It was overwhelming since I was obviously, despite my attempts to convince myself and everyone else otherwise, suffering through a slight PTSD faze. Despite it all, I was trying desperately not to ruin everything my friends obviously worked hard on, so each time I heard a noise that freaked me out I dug my nails into my palm to stop myself from twitching. And I drank. I drank so much that at a certain point the whole room began spinning and the faces around me melted, peoples voices sounding distant as they addressed me. I tumbled around and, at some point, winded up leaning against the railing of the stairs, peering into the living room. I tried to find Adrian with my eyes, which turned out to be a bit harder than I thought since everything was blurry enough to make me want to vomit. When my eyes finally landed on him, I registered he was leaning next to the window talking to Rose who was prompted on the back of the sofa. She laughed at something he said, bending over slightly to place her hand on his chest and standing up so she could whisper something into his ear. I was never the jealous type, but something came over me in that moment, something I couldn't quite explain. As she leaned away and took a step back, she slightly lost her balance and Adrian caught a hold of her elbow pulling her flush against his chest while her lips ended up inches away from his. She placed her foot down and her heal hit the surface of the balloon that was behind her. As the balloon exploded so did I.

 **POV: Adrian**

"Yo Ivashkov, nice party", Rose exclaimed, approaching me and handing me a glass of champagne, before half climbing onto the back of the sofa in a rather unladylike way.

I shook my head at her, but couldn't help a smile that played over my lips. I accepted the liquor she handed me gratefully, glancing around the room and the cheerful people whose voices melted into the hum of the music playing from the stereo. It _was_ , actually, a surprisingly nice party. I lifted my glass, tipping it over so it clinked against Rose's and joked: "Well, feel free to tell the Russian overlord he can always become a professional party planner if he ever fails at being a guardian."

"Definitely, and you could be his sidekick", she laughed, her comment almost making me cough out the sip I took.

"That's not likely", I mumbled when Jill's soft giggle dragged my attention back over the room. I watched her graze Eddie's cheek before quickly letting her hand fall against her small frame, like she was afraid somebody might catch their little gentle exchange. She _was_ afraid and it actually pissed me off that they had to be so secretive about their relationship for the sake of this fucked-up society we lived in. Rose followed my gaze, obviously intrigued by my frowny expression as I commented: "I didn't know they were going to be here. Not that I'm not glad, but hasn't the semester at the academy started already?"

"Yeah, well, she'll have to catch up on her studies some other time. Lissa thought it would be best if she was with us and with doubled protection since you figured out the connection between the attacks. Well done on that by the way. How _did_ you figure it out?"

"This is going to sound like I just stepped off the shooting of CSI Miami, but they had the same MO."

"It does sound like it, Detective Ivashkov", she chuckled before her smile dropped, "But we still don't know why and where they'll hit next."

"We'll get there. We just need more time", I reassured her, though I myself felt uncertain about what the future held.

She stayed quiet while I watched her aura dim slightly. I've forgotten how the darkness clashed against her bright colors, such an unsuitable contrast. She's been rather worry-free over the course of the past couple of months, well as worry-free as Rosemary Hathaway can get. She suddenly looked up at me, smirking like she knew exactly what I was doing. She probably did, since she's come to know me pretty well. The darkness slipped away as her smile reappeared while she voiced: "You know, I'm glad the two off us are friends again."

"Friends? Who told you that lie?", I teased winking at her.

The music suddenly got really loud so I barely heard her laugh. I could see her face shining the way it always did when she was laughing for real though. She placed her hand on my chest, hopping off the sofa and prompting herself up so that she was next to my ear while she chuckled: "You know you missed me bitch!"

She cracked her head to the side while I gave her a wide smile, nodding and winking at her again. She took a step back placing her foot down right on a piece of a blown out balloon which caused her leg to slip a bit, enough to send her flying to the floor. I caught hold of her instinctively and tugged her towards me, bringing us to a slightly uncomfortable position. She was closed enough for me to count each and every thick and long piece of her lashes. She wiggled back, blushing slightly while she tried to find her balance, but she stepped on another balloon. This one was full of air and it exploded under her heal making us both jump up a little.

"I hate freaking balloons", she exclaimed, finally finding her place in-between them. At that point the music quieted down enough for me to hear a loud bang of the front door. Rose obviously heard it too since she peered towards the hallway and questioned: "What was that?"

"I'll go check", I answered letting go of her arm, "You good?"

"Yup, thanks hero!"

I flashed her another smile before I rushed towards the hallway. I hastily pulled on my coat, opened the front door and stepped outside glancing around. It didn't take long for my eyes to settle onto the only person brave enough to walk through this weather. It began snowing again, it was freezing and she was wearing a singular piece of clothing. A black little dress, the one I bought for her. I sprinted after her and when I reached her I caught a hold of her elbow turning her around.

"Where are you off to dressed liked that?", I asked, giving her a smile despite the frown she wore on her face.

"I'm going home", she answered, trying to wiggle her arm out of my grasp, but failing miserably since she could barely stand on her own two feet.

"Are you drunk?", I wondered amused as I registered the way her eyes seemed to be slightly more shiny than they usually were.

"So what if I am?", she mumbled out, raising her eyebrow or at least attempting to do so.

"Emma, what's wrong?", I questioned, sobering up instantly, though I myself wasn't anywhere near drunk, but was too cheerful for this type of situation, whichever type it was really.

"What's wrong? Hah, you're kidding right? I saw you. All giggly with Rose", she exclaimed, pointing her index finger towards my face in an accusatory manner.

"Giggly? For fuck's sake Emilia, what has gotten into you? Rose and I are friends, which didn't seem to bother you yesterday."

"Well yesterday is yesterday and today is a new day", she blurted out before taking off.

"Seriously?", I muttered to myself under my breath as I tagged along.

I took off my coat and tried wrapping it around her, but she backed away stumbling and gave me an angry glare as she spat out: "Go away Adrian, I don't need your company or your coat."

"Will you please let me take you home?", I pleaded while she did her best to speed up her pace and shake me off.

"No!", she shouted, her voice echoing through the air, "I don't want you to take me home. Go back to the party and back to Rose. She is obviously more entertaining."

"You know what? She is, since you are acting like a spoiled brat", I yelled, startling a few residents passing us by in a hurry to get to their warm homes.

She turned around surprisingly fast and managed to hold her ground as she cried out: "You dare criticize me? Tell me where have you been, ha? Since that night you're never home? Who are you with? Rose?"

I took a few steps towards her and leaned in, venomously spitting out my next words: "Yeah, sure Emilia, Rose is the person I've been spending time with. The two of us have been fucking in her and Dimitri's bed when he is not around, cause I don't give a shit tha-."

Her palm flew up, but her reflexes were a lot slower than mine, so I managed to grab it before it could collide with my face. I tugged her by her wrist so she was close enough for our breaths to melt together, fixing her eyes angrily while I finished my sentence: "- that I have a fiancé I love more than my own life waiting for me at home. I don't know what's up with you and right now I don't really care. I'm taking you home so you can sober up and then we can talk."

With those words I used the grip I had on her hand as leverage, bending down and tossing her over my shoulder. I threw my coat over her and started walking. She certainly wasn't about to go quietly. Actually she made quite a show for half of the Court, pounding her fists against my back and screaming at me to put her down. If she was anyone else I would have just thrown her into a fountain in one of the Court gardens, but I meant what I said. At least the part about how much I cared for her. She knew it, I knew it, the freaking guardians and the front gate posts knew it. _So why was she being so difficult lately?_

 **POV: Emilia**

I couldn't breathe, my head was about the burst from the pressure it was put under, my eyes were watering like crazy and I felt like my throat was burning. I moaned, the sound echoing through the bathroom, before I pulled myself up and relaxed against Adrian who's been patiently waiting for the last remains of alcohol to get out of my system. His grip on my hair loosened as he leaned over to the cupboard to get me another tissue. He flushed the toilet and prompted: "More?"

"No, I think I'm done", I mumbled trying to stand up, but before I could, he picked me up and carried me to the bed, gently setting me on top of it.

"This is so you don't get dehydrated", he announced, handing me a glass of water and a chewing gum while he added, "And this is to get rid of the awful taste."

"Oh God, I'm so sorry", I cried out, feeling more awful about what I've just put _him_ through, than the fact that I spent the past hour gasping for air in-between the vomiting.

"It's okay. It happens to the best of us", he chuckled, nudging me to the side so he can settle next to me.

"No, not just for the gross puking scene, for everything else too. I don't know what came over me."

"First of all, I'm about to vow to cherish you in sickness and in health for the rest of my life, so I'm pretty sure this won't be the last time I see you puke", he laughed, pushing my hair away from my face, "And second, it's okay. I get it. You've been under a lot of stress lately."

"That's not an excuse", I argued, rolling on to my back and covering my eyes with my palm.

"And I'm not trying to find one", he said, reaching up to tug my hand away so I'd have no reason not to look at him, "You know damn well it's idiotic to think that I'd want anything to do with anyone rather than you. If that was the case, I wouldn't have proposed."

"I know."

"And you know how much I love you."

"I know."

"And you know that I will tell you about the projects as soon as I can, but right now it's all very secretive for good reasons."

"I know."

"And you know that there is nothing I wouldn't do for you."

I took a deep breath and switched my answer to: "I love you Adrian."

"I know", he responded, causing an eruption of laughter from both of us.

I turned to him, running my fingers gently over his temple, cheek and down to his jaw. He moved his head closer to mine, but before he could finish what he was obviously planning, I jerked back and shook my head as I exclaimed: "Nah, no, you are so not going to kiss me right now, I'm disgusting."

"Not to me you're not", he argued, an amused smile playing on his beautiful face as he moving towards me until I practically had to jump out of the bed to evade him.

"I'm washing my teeth and taking a shower first", I stressed, laughing as he eased himself to the edge of the bed and wiggled his eyebrows playfully.

"One of the best things about being in a relationship on the day of your birthday is birthday sex", he commented, reaching up to unbutton his shirt.

"I, we, humph", I mumbled as he stood up and let the material fall to the ground exposing his perfectly shaped torso.

Lust washed over me instantly and I pressed my thighs together to quiet the fast growing ache between my legs. Once his fingers wondered to the zipper of his pants I basically had to pry my eyes away from him and run into the bathroom while his laughter followed me. He followed me as well and he made damn sure it was a birthday I'd never forget. The last thing I remember was falling asleep in his arms thinking about how stupid it was that I got upset over something so trivial and what a lucky girl I was to have the most understanding and loving fiancé in the universe.

 **POV: Alexei**

"You almost fucked up the whole thing", Ilya growled furiously, pushing away one of his human slaves as she tried to serve him his drink.

She fell to the ground, but got up in a flash, almost running out of the room as soon as she did. Mateo looked like he too was tempted to run away, but I gave him a signal to stay in his seat and keep his mouth shut. I knew Ilya very well, all he need now was to scream at me for a while and then he'll cool down. He paced around the room, shouting so loud I thought the windows might burst into pieces: "We've been working on this for years, I've been working on it long before I turned you and it almost got screwed up by that stupid little bitch. I didn't work this hard to have you improvising by kidnapping that nut-job and risking exposure of our entire operation because you wanted to play with your PET!"

Upon his intake of breath he finally nervously settled back into his chair and grabbed his half-filled glass, taking a strong swing from it. I gave him a few seconds, before speaking in the calmest voice I could manage: "Look, Boss, nothing is ruined, everything is going according to the plan, what I did only weakened their guard. The more vulnerable we make them the easier we'll achieve our goals."

"You better be right. We can't afford to have another loose cannon like the last time", he barked, fixing me with a stare that made me glad looks couldn't kill.

"Of course. I have it under control", I reassured him as Mateo squirmed in his chair.

"Fine, go then", he mumbled waving us out, "But Alexei, no more games, kill you pet or turn her again. Whatever you do get it done, NOW!"

"Yes sir!"

As soon as we were outside Mateo looked at me quizzically. He kept his voice down as he asked: "You're not going to kill her yet, are you?"

"No!"

"But Ilya said-."

"I don't give a shit about what he said", I cut in glaring at Mateo, "Once all of this is done and our plan is finished, I think it's time for Ilya to take an eternal vacation underground and for me to take his place."

"You want to kill him?"

"Yes", I confirmed, smiling to myself, "We won't need him anymore. I have big plans for us my friend. Have patience! We'll get it all, real soon!"

* * *

 **Chapter song:** **Pressure - Paramore**


	30. CH30 - Fear and Loathing

**POV: Adrian**

My phone blaring up with messages is what tugged me out of slumber. I softly groaned, blindly tapping my hand on the nightstand while I fought to find my way out from underneath Emma's hair. I peeked through my lashes at the blinding light seeing three messages, all from the same number. _Damn it Rose,_ I thought as I pressed the thread, _why couldn't you just, for once, put everything into one text_?

 _We've got something!_

 _I called everyone!_

 _Meet us at the base in half an hour!_

I actually couldn't help a small smile that crept its way over my face because of Rose's use of "the base", despite the fact that I instantly felt my heart tightening in my chest. I glanced at Emma, seeing her eyes were still shut tight and slowly pulled my arm from underneath her head, trying not to stir her too much. I showered quickly, dressing in haste, even though I had more than enough time. I made myself a large cup of coffee and decided to still go through with my plan of making Emma breakfast in bed, regardless of the fact that I won't be able to eat it with her. Surprisingly, she didn't wake through any of my activities. Though, if she was anything like me, World War Three raging outside my door wouldn't drag me back to a lucid state when I was sleeping off a hangover. I placed the tray with the breakfast on my nightstand and jotted down a note for her.

When I finally knocked on Rose's door, Dimitri swung it open, giving me the kind of look that instantly scared me shitless. It was bad, it was really bad. I wordlessly followed him inside, hearing Rose's voice echo from the gym: "- what we have been waiting for."

"What's going on?", I croaked out, the strange sound of my voice surprising even me a little.

"A woman was found", he mumbled as we joined the rest of our friends and a few guardians I've seen before, but didn't know by name, "She was one of the nurses in the hospital. She has some information to give us, information that obviously proves your theory."

"Good, you are here", Rose exclaimed as soon as her eyes landed on me.

"I have no clue how she made it out of there alive, but she's been in hiding ever since", one of the guardians elaborated.

Lissa nodded, clearly lost in her thoughts as I prompted: "How did you find her?"

"By sheer dumb luck", Christian was the one to respond, filling me in on what I've missed so far, "She was hiding at her sister's place, her sister who luckily happens to be dating one of the guardians who was assigned to field work for these whole shenanigans. It took a while, but a few phone calls and shared secrets later, he connected the dots."

"What kind of information could she possible have to offer?", I sneered, though I felt a spark of hope light up within me.

"She said they were raging havoc for a while before they cleared out the hospital", Rose elaborated, emphasizing the cleared out part in a way that almost made me sick to my stomach, "She heard them talk, some information about their plans and the things they've already accomplished, not very detailed, but enough to call it useful and helpful."

"I just don't get it", Christian voiced frowning, "Who would be stupid enough to talk about their master plan in front of the people they consider enemies?"

"Someone who though they wouldn't live long enough to tell any tales", Dimitri supplied with a grim expression.

Silence filled the room, before the guardian who was talking to Lissa spoke again: "She'll be here late, daytime in human schedule. She didn't want to travel without the sun on her back."

"Couldn't she just tell us everything over a God damn phone?", I fumed, impatience getting the better of me.

"We never know who is watching and listening", Eddie suddenly spoke up from behind me.

Jill stood next to him, rubbing her sleepy eyes and nervously running her teeth over her bottom lip. She walked over to me, sneaking her way under my arm. She looked up at me with her bright, beautiful eyes while she rubbed her palm over my back and I felt the tension leaving me slightly. I honestly didn't know why, but she had that tranquil effect on me.

"What do we do until then?", I pushed myself to say in a much calmer tone.

"We wait", Rose huffed in dissatisfaction.

Wait? I hated waiting. I felt like we've been waiting for years. Rain in the desert. Though Rose was right, that was the only thing we could do at this point. I glanced around the room, trying to think of what I should do next when Dimitri firmly patted me on the back and instructed: "Go home Adrian. We'll let you know as soon as she is here."

 **POV: Emilia**

I woke up with a killer headache. I've forgotten how miserable being hungover felt. I groaned and lazily rolled over wanting to find Adrian's warmth to sooth my already foul mood. However, his side of the bed was cold and empty, only the pillow next to me and the wonderful smell still lingering on it indicating he was there at some point. I noticed a piece of paper prompted against the lamp on his night stand, next to a tray with a sandwich, juice and a pill. I picked it up and read it, a smile spreading across my face despite the throbbing in my head.

 _I know it seems impossible, but try to eat your breakfast. It'll make you feel better. Take the pill for the headache. I had to go to work. See you later. Love you, Adrian!_

I took his advice and slowly eat up my breakfast. I still felt like crap afterwards, but at least I satisfied the growling of my stomach. I took a quick shower and hopped into my workout clothes deciding to beat my current state by going for a run. It will at least get my muscles back to normal. I ran for about an hour, stopping only when I felt like I might gag since my body was refusing to be a part of any activity that didn't include a couch or a bed. At some point I found my way to the gym, where Dimitri was knocking the hell out of the worn out material of a punching bag. His muscles flexed as he swiftly and elegantly moved his hands and feet. He really was admirable good. I approached him slowly, knowing he sensed my presence, even before he turned to look at me, by the tense of his shoulders and a brief pause in his hits.

"Hey Captain Brooding Face", I exclaimed as he finally left the punching bag alone, twirling towards me with a small smile.

"Hello Miss Pretentious. What are you doing here so early?"

"Early?", I cried out, glancing at the watch handing on the wall behind him, "You're joking."

"Honestly, judging by the amount of alcohol you've consumed yesterday, I figured you won't be up until noon at least", he chuckled, taking his glows off.

"Ugh, I'm never going to live that down, am I?", I wined, following him to the other side of the gym.

He just chuckled in response and stepped over to the mats, getting into position as he stated: "I'm guessing you're here for a reason."

"Actually", I drawled, postponing the inevitable as his eyebrow already shot up in alarm, "I thought we could do something else for a change. Like maybe stake some dummies."

His face instantly became gloomy and he frowned while responding: "You don't need to learn that Emilia. What happened in the diner won't happen again. We'll find Alexei and eliminate him. Once we do, we'll get you and Adrian a guardian each, just to stay safe when you're leaving Court."

"Wow, easy there", I exclaimed, praying I'll manage to trick him after all, "I just wanted to stab things. Don't read too much into it."

"Oh", he responded dubiously, "Sorry, I just don't want you to get any silly ideas."

"No silly ideas in here", I stressed, tapping my temple with my fingers to make a point, "I promise!"

He studied me for a few more seconds, basically making me sweat under the sole scrutiny of his gaze, before he turned around and motioning me to follow him. I felt relief flow through me and couldn't help a small sigh that escaped me. Luckily, he didn't seem to notice that while he unlocked the equipment room and then the stake cabinet. He picked up two and turned to me, his grave expression replaced by an easy smile.

"Shall we?"

An hour later I looked like I had a shower with my clothes on. I was exhausted and on the verge of crying my eyeballs out. Two times, I managed to push the stake through the dummies two freaking times! Dimitri said it was tremendous progress for my first time training, but I felt miserable. I never thought I'll miss anything about being a Strigoi, but I sure as hell missed my strength. I used to able to rip someone's head off with my bare hands. Now I couldn't even stake a stupid dummy properly.

While we were packing the equipment up, a guardian stepped through the door calling Dimitri to come and join him for a second. Dimitri nodded, letting a quite curse in his mother tongue escape him, breaking his perfect mask for one second before he added to me through a forced smile: "I'll be right back. Can you pack up the towels?"

"Yeah sure", I responded and watched him sprint out of the room, wondering what was going on.

Once I was left alone I grabbed Dimitri's bag with the intention of stealing one of his shirts to change out of my disgusting clothes until I can get back home to take a shower. As my fingers curled around a clean white shirt I looked up and froze. The stake cabinet was right in front of me and the key was still stuck in the lock. My heartbeat quickened as I peered over my shoulder to the little crack left between the door of the storage room and its frame. I only saw a glimpse of Dimitri's back through it, but it was enough to let me know he wasn't looking. I grab the towels and jabbed them into his bag, before I rounded the bench and opened the cabinet with shaky hands. The silver weapons were shining bright at me and I literally had a second to make a decision. I quickly grabbed one off the rack and stuffed it behind the waistband of my pants, hastily pushing my arms into Dimitri's shirt and tugging it over the stake along with mine. I moved back to his bag, sitting next to it in the exact moment Dimitri walked back into the room.

"Help yourself", he chuckled upon seeing his shirt on me.

"I already did", I answered deadpan, making his smile widen.

"All done?", he asked as he walked over to the cabinet and turned the key, before pulling it out and tossing it into his bag.

"Yup", I responded casually, but the truth was _I was just getting started._

 **POV: Adrian**

This was one of the best nights we've had lately. It was very simple, but somehow so joyful. We ordered pizza, watched some hilarious comedy that had us gasping for air from laughter and almost broke the bed afterwards. As we lay cuddled up I felt happy, peaceful somehow, despite the fact that I was only a few hour away from finding out the truth about Alexei's plans, a few hours away from finally facing the biggest threat to our lives.

Emma's head was resting on my arm, her fingers lightly tracing random patterns on my chest. Every few minutes she would plant a kiss on my shoulder, a light, featherlike kiss and smile. I would return the favor by placing a similar one on her forehead, just on the edge of her hairline. I bent the arm she was lying on in order to play with a strand of her hair and I used the other one to imitate the patterns she was making on my skin over her hipbone. The silence seemed to stretch forever, but I didn't mind. I felt content just listening to the soft breaths leaving Emma's body and short giggles I would elicit from her when my finger wondered over her ticklish waist.

"Can I tell you something?"

I cracked my head to the side, peering down at her, but she was keeping her eyes set somewhere outside of our bed, so I could only see a hint of amethyst behind her long lashes. I realized she was waiting for my response so I mumbled out: "Sure."

"When I got turned back I thought I'd never find happiness with anyone, not just because I thought I didn't deserve it, but also because I thought nobody will be able to love me after all of the things I've done", she blurted out, sighing before she added, "I felt worthless and sometimes I still feel that way-."

"Emma-", I tired cutting in, but she moved, pressing her index finger over my lips and giving me a pleading look.

"Wait, let me finish."

I nodded, puckering my lips so I somehow managed to kiss her finger and make her smile, though her voice was still serious and a bit strained when she continued: "But every time I start thinking that I don't deserve to be happy, that I don't deserve you, when I feel lost, I see how much love and care you offer me, the adoration in your eyes and I think that I must be better than I think I'm am. How else would I get to have you? You make me so happy, I can't even describe it and if I was to get just one more day with you by my side, I'd still be grateful."

I was left in awe for several second. I knew what she wanted to say, I felt a lot of those things too, but somehow, her words, her voice, her attempts to bring herself even closer to me, it felt, different.

"That's touching Gorgeous, but why does it sound like tomorrow is the apocalypse and you're saying goodbye to me?"

"It did come out that way a bit, didn't it?", she chuckled, biting her lip, "Don't worry, as far as I know the world is still going to be there tomorrow and I'm not saying goodbye just yet."

What I didn't know in that moment is that she actually was saying goodbye. I wish I did. I wish I woke up when she snuck out of our bed and gave me a soft kiss, letting her eyes linger on my face just a while longer. I wish I checked the bathroom instead of simply assuming that's where she was when I got a call from Rose that it was time to meet the nurse. I wish we'd stuck together instead of allowing the secrets we kept from each other to drive us apart. Maybe things would have turned out differently. Maybe we would have had more than just one day left.

 **POV: Emilia**

As soon as I hit the highway I punched the accelerator hard. The engine roared mercilessly, propelling the car forward. I raced down the road, my adrenaline pumping like crazy while my thoughts ran all over the place. With my eyes still fixed in front of me I opened my bag snatching the stake I stole. I held the cold silver tight, resting the hand gripping it on the wheel. The directions were carved into my head like a map, so I knew exactly which exit to take and what turns to make. The moment Alexei's manor emerged in front of me, my heart began thumping even harder against my ribcage, fighting to burst out.

I pulled the car to a stop harshly, raising a cloud of dust around me. I got out of my seat, carefully checking my surroundings. The yard and the house seemed vacant. Regardless, I neared the entrance and cleared my throat before I screamed at the top of my lungs: "Come on you bastard, let's finish this game!"

My voice echoed through the sunny afternoon air as I stood frozen, my whole body pulsating from anticipation, but nothing happened. So I walked up to the door, holding my breath in with every step I made and gripped the knob tightly. The door opened with a screech, a stagnant smell hitting me instantly while flecks of dust twirled in the air. I stood on the threshold listening for any sounds and straining my eyes, focusing on the dim hallway. I took a few uncertain steps, only the cracking of the floor beneath my feet and my quickened breathing filling the silence. I stopped when I reached the living room and looked around. It was empty. So was the kitchen that I passed along the way and I was pretty sure the rest of the house will be as well. Not a single thing was moved since the last time I set my foot in here, which is why I knew Alexei hasn't been around. I didn't know whether to feel disappointed or relieved.

Despite the obvious absence of anyone but me in this God forsaken place, I decided to look around, just to be sure, and though my initial tension weakened, I still kept a tight grip on my stake. As expected, my search gave me no results. However, just as I was about to give up, I cast a look towards what used to be our bedroom, noticing it was the only room with a shut door. I lingered in my spot for a few moments, before carefully approaching it. He wasn't here. I was certain of it. The house was empty. Yet, somehow as I walked towards the door I had this feeling in my gut like something bad was about to happen. I took a deep breath squeezing the stake so hard I thought it might break in half before I entered. A gasp that escaped me was the loudest sound I've heard since I arrived.

Roses, dark red roses. They were everywhere. A countless number. The bed was covered in them, a path of petals leading to it. Their smell was intoxicating and it became that much stronger the deeper into the room I went. Though the smell was somehow off. It wasn't until I picked up on of the petals that I realized what the cause of my additional uneasiness was. The roses weren't red, not originally at least. I saw flecks of white on their edges that made me realize they were all painted and the other smell I felt, the familiar one, finally became obvious. It was the smell of blood. They were all coated in a layer of thick, dark red blood.

I thought my heart might stop. The room suddenly felt a lot smaller. He might not be here, but I felt his presence much stronger than I'd like to admit. I pushed myself forward despite my brains protests to run out of here as fast as my legs could carry me, approaching the bed and picking up a white card with red smudges that lay in the middle of the blanket of roses. I let the words written on it sink in slowly: _You're looking in all the wrong places Love! Badica family - take two - action._ That's all it took, the two tiny lines dotted on a small piece of paper, a message that would have been meaningless to anyone else but me. All the pieces of the puzzle came into place, the whole big freaking picture filling my mind.

I raced out of the house at the speed of light. I pulled the car door open so hard I thought it might fall off. I started the engine and peeled out of the driveway, digging through my bag frantically with my free hand. Finding my phone I was surprised to see ten missed calls. They were all from Adrian. I froze over, dialing his number and praying to God it wasn't too late. When he picked up I almost cried out in joy, despite his angry growl from the other side.

"Where the hell are you? Are you trying to give me heart attack woman?"

"Adrian, I'm fine", I quickly said, trying to sound as calm and casual as possible, "I just went for a drive to clear my head a bit. I didn't hear my phone because of the radio. Why did you call me?"

"Why the fuck did you leave the Court grounds? It's not safe for you out there", he spoke in alarm, though with obvious relief I wasn't in eminent danger.

"Like I said I'm okay, I'm coming home right now. Why did you call me?", I repeated, hoping to take his mind of the reason I was away from Court in the first place.

"Oh, right, shit!", he mumbled out, "Remember the project I couldn't talk about, the one I was working on with Lissa?"

"Mhm", I mumbled, watching the highway reaper in front of me.

"Well, don't freak out, but the project was actually about Alexei and his group."

"I know", I answered, surprising even myself a little.

"You do?", he sounded completely baffled, "How?"

"I figured it out."

"When?"

"Just now."

"And you're not ripping my head off because?", he drawled, "Not that I'm complaining."

"Because we have more important things to worry about", I stated frowning even though he couldn't see it.

"That you are right about", he confirmed, "So back to the reason I called you, I need you to come join me at Rose's and Dimitri's apartment. We think we know what Alexei is going to do next."

I swallowed hard as I realized telling Adrian what I know means I'll have to tell him the truth about the things I've lied about lately, but more importantly, tell him something I never wanted anyone to hear. But his anger and my pride were a lot less important now. What was important was stopping Alexei before his master plan comes to life. And I was pretty certain I was more than short on time.

"So do I!"

* * *

 **Chapter song:** **Fear and Loathing - Marina and the Diamonds**


	31. CH31 - This Is War

**POV: Emilia**

 **3 years ago, Prague**

I toppled down to the bed and rolled over getting a cigarette. I loved the fact that ridding someone could last for a time measured in hours without me breaking a sweat. Just one more perk of being a Strigoi. Alexei lazily stood up grabbing a bottle of wine left on the table and commented: "Now that's what I call great Love."

"Well of course when you let me do all the work", I sneered rolling my eyes at him.

He made a sound as close to a chuckle I've ever heard when it comes to him and gave me an entertained look: "Feisty, it's what I always liked about you."

He started getting dressed and I rose from the bed too, walking up to him while doing my best to pout. He studied me and reached out to cup my face. It wasn't a gentle or an affectionate gesture, Alexei didn't do those, Strigoi didn't do those. It was possessive and controlling. He scanned my face, his nose wrinkling in disgruntlement while he asked: "What is it my Queen?"

"Where are you off to again? I'm bored here in this wretched room", I wined batting my eyelashes, "Take me with you."

"You want to come with me?", he whispered with a smirk playing on his lips as I purred, "Yes!"

"What are you ready to do to get what you want?", he questioned through a devilish grin.

"Anything", I almost moaned, crouching so that he was looking at me from above, giving him what he always loved - dominance.

"Anything?"

"Mhm", I hummed reaching for his zipper before he grabbed my hand.

"Not what I had in mind. Though I appreciate the initiative", he laughed humorlessly, "If you come with me, you'll have to do something I know you've been avoiding."

"What?", I asked innocently, but I knew exactly what he was aiming at.

He's been all over me about it ever since that fiasco with the Ava lookalike. I've done my very best to avoid any related situations, but I knew damn well he wanted me to turn someone, he wanted me to help build his army. Army was maybe too strong of a word, more like a unit. He kept going on and on about how our position amongst others of our kind needed to be strengthened. We had to strike fear and respect if we were going to make it to the top of the food chain.

"You are going to choose someone to awaken and you'll do it", he announced, tugging me up so that we were on the same level again, "You think you can manage that?"

"Piece of cake", I sneered confidently.

It turns out it wasn't. Alexei, Boris and I roamed the outskirts of the city for an hour and came up empty. They made a few suggestions, but they were all humans, all weak. I wanted someone strong and fast, godlike. The truth was I wanted Dimitri, but that ship has sailed a long time ago. And so, just as I was about to admit to Alexei that I was wrong and that I couldn't fulfill my part of the bargain, I saw her. I recognized her instantly, her short honey colored hair, her light blue eyes with strikes of gold. Galina. She was with a group of three guardians, one I recognized, but the other two were strangers. We were outnumbered by one, which meant this was indeed going to be a piece of cake. I actually felt a bit sorry for them, they were in for a rather unfair fight.

I gave Alexei a signal which he returned with a satisfied smile and a nod. With Boris right behind him, he jumped off the rooftop that ominously hovered above the poor, oblivious souls we were about to damn to hell, clashing straight into a fight. I lingered for a few seconds before doing the same, landing swiftly on my feet right behind one of the guardians. Before he even realized I was there, I grabbed him and snapped his neck tossing him away like he was as light as a feather. I swiftly analyzed the situation before I soundlessly moved between the men fighting for their lives and headed straight for my target. Boris was preparing to attack her, but I stepped forward and growled: "Mine."

He backed away instantly. He was scared, not because I could beat him, far from it. Despite my almost everyday training, he was older than me, thus stronger and a better fighter. He was scared because, unlike me, Alexie could end him in a heartbeat if he felt like it and he probably would feel like it if I pleaded him to do it. I truly was Alexei's Queen in a way. He rewarded my loyalty and satisfied my neediness by giving me whatever I wanted, well, as long as what I wanted didn't go against his own wishes. If we were humans, I'd probably be Alexei's trophy wife. Even now, in our world, he loved showing me off to everyone, proud of his most precious asset. Boris knew better than to challenge me, even if he could win the fight.

Galina followed the sound of my voice preparing to pounce, but upon seeing my face she froze. She still had a tight hold on her stake, but her hand shook and her steps flattered. She looked at me with a mix of sadness and fear as she almost whispered: "Emilia."

"Galina", I answered, coldly eyeing her.

"I thought you were-."

"Dead?", I cut in, "Well, I sort of am. You are about to be too."

"He is looking for you", she babbled in an obvious attempt to distract me.

"Who?", I asked, not actually thinking about what she was saying since I was trying to find a perfect opening, circling her like a hawk.

"Dimitri Belikov."

It was my time to freeze. _Dimitri, my Mitya._ Those words weren't warm and romantic, not even close to the way they used to sound. It felt like he was a possession of mine and she was dangling him in front of my face. She was probably hoping to soften me up, but she just made me angrier. I grinned wickedly, making her back away in fear while I hissed: "Good. Then I can keep sending him messages he is on the right track."

I launched towards Galina slamming into her and knocking her down. She scrambled to her feet, but I was faster grabbing her arm and swinging her into a wall. She hit the bricks and I heard a loud crack coming from her shoulder before she cried out.

"I always admired your strength and agility. They are good predispositions for a great warrior", I taunted her as she managed to swing back, punching my chin and making me stumble a bit.

"I won't go down without a fight", she growled, trying to hold her ground.

"Oh, I'm counting on it. This is going to be fun", I sang, getting ready to make my first prodigy.

 **Couple of months ago**

I never could really stand up to Alexei. I wined, had requests, snarky remarks, fast quips, but when push came to shove I always obeyed. Though, I made damn sure to get back at him in other ways. After he shamed the living hell out of me the other day in front of our entire clan for misbehaving on a hunt I was pissed. No scratch that, I was furious and just waiting for my chance to screw him over. And the chance presented itself in the most unexpected way.

I was on my way to my room when I overheard a heated conversation coming from his study. The door was always closed and despite my brilliant hearing I never knew what he was doing through the countless hours he'd spend there, but lately he's been distracted and stopped bothering to cover his tracks from me. Which is the exact reason I was graced with the opportunity to listen in on him and whomever was hissing orders at him. It served him good. I was sick of taking his.

"We do it in a few hours, no more delays. We have them right where we want them. This is our final test", I heard a sharp familiar voice, the one I recognized to be the same as the one I heard from all the phone calls Alexei has been carelessly taking in my presence.

"Yes sir, I have everything in order. It will be done."

"We'll have to go for the big prize straight after, I don't want them to see us coming. Badicas are merely the first on the list."

 _Badicas?_ Fuck me! They were planning another attack, like the one the Spokane group administered. A bigger one, perhaps? Shit. I stood near the door, trying to make my presence unnoticeable as I waited for the conversation to continue.

"Who will you be taking with you?", the other man questioned as I heard feet shuffling, "Not the Lazar girl, I hope?"

"No sir, she'll be staying here", Alexei reassured him.

 _The hell I will._ He is not going to leave me behind again. I won't let him get the final say, not this time. This was my shot to get back at him and I was more than eager to take it. I'm going to do this alone, get all the credit and put Alexei back in his place. He was getting way too cocky for his own good. But then again, so was I. I backed away quickly and waited patiently for the other man to leave. He was walked out by Ralph, Alexei's newest minion. I heard them exchange a few words and Ralph addressing him by his first name for some reason. Ilya. Well mister Ilya, you were about to learn I am more than just a pretty face.

When Alexei stormed off to summon his other slaves, I unhurriedly made my way to his study and slipped through the door before anyone could notice me. Not that there _was_ anyone who would pay any attention to me whatsoever. I ran my fingers over the inner edge of his table, stopping when they touched cold metal. _What an idiot_ , I thought as I pushed the key I snatched into the drawer of his desk, _so many years and he still keeps the damn key in the same place, as if I didn't figure out where it was hidden ages ago._ I pulled out a manila folder and shifted through the papers inside fast, my eyes scanning the info and my brain quickly storing it. I heard voices echoing outside in the garden, so I stashed everything back where I found it and jabbed the key in its place.

I managed to take two steps away from the study when Ralph's voice came from behind me: "What are you doing?"

"What do you care?", I asked, twirling on my toes to give him an annoyed glare.

"Alexei told you to stay in your room."

"Did he now?", I sang as I hopped to him, leaning in so that my face was inches away from his, "And what are you going to do about it, tough guy?"

"I'm going to drag you there myself you stupid bit-."

He never got the chance to finish his insult, because I swiftly slammed his head into a wall, well, actually, through a wall. He collapsed onto the ground and I crouched next to him long enough to fetch his phone. Alexei's name was the first thing that popped up at me when I scanned through Ralph's messages. _I should have known he was going to take this son of a bitch with him instead of me._ I already knew what I was looking for when I clicked on the last message he received. Landing time.

I snatched Ralph's arms and tugged him harshly towards the study. I disposed of his unconscious body and pushed the door shut with my foot. I decided to take a less obvious exit, so minutes later I was jumping out of the window of the study and landing effortlessly on the ground beneath it. I glanced around to make sure I was alone, before I rounded the corner and went straight towards the garage. I broke the knob since I didn't really have time to go looking for the key. I scanned over the vehicles Alexei just loved collecting and decided on his favorite motorcycle. If I was going to piss him off, I was going to do it as much as I could. I'll deal with the consequences later.

I opened the garage and slid onto the bike grinning proudly to myself. I turned the key that was carelessly left in the ignition and made a show out of blasting out of there at full speed. The bike roared loud enough to drag everyone's attention. I purposefully rode it up to the front of the house, where Alexei already appeared twirling around in alarm, trying to figure out what was going on. When his eyes fell on me, his expression turned into the deadliest I've ever seen on him. I did my best to give him the wickedest smile I could pull of while I playfully waved at him. He stood paralyzed as I tugged the bike towards the exit of the estate, the back tire sliding over the gravel before I was kicked forward. The last thing I saw was his threatening glare in my review mirror and then I was gone beyond his reach.

I managed to intercept the Badica family just as they got off the airport. I took out most of their guardians and I almost got to them. Almost. But there was a person there that I wasn't expecting, some who was merely tagging along for the ride to the Court, someone who beyond all reason managed to surprise me, showing me that my vengefulness was finally about to get the best of me. And as a stake pierced my heart and immense pain rippled through my chest, I was shocked to see that the person who was my final undoing, the one person I never expected to cross paths with again, was the exact person who once changed my life completely and now ended it. Quiet poetic, some would say. I stared into Oksana's eyes as the lights began to fade.

I always though I'll get a replay of my whole life in slow motion when I reach my end, but instead I got just one memory. The only memory my mind never managed to twist and pervert, the only fleck of light within me through all this years.

" _I'll never let you go. Never give up. No matter what", Mitya whispered softly against my lips._

" _I hope that's true. Cause, from where I'm standing, my chances of going nuts are pretty solid. And if I do, go nuts that is, I might not be the person you love anymore."_

" _You'll always be the person I love, in one way or the other, no matter how your magic changes you. And I promise you, I'll be there until your dying breath or mine."_

The last thought I had before I hit the ground was: _"I guess life doesn't always go the way we planned."_

 **Present day**

"So what's the big secret you want to share?", Rose asked nervously tapping her fingers on her knee.

We were all settled down in their living room, Eddie and Jill cuddled up next to each other on the sofa, Lissa stuck between Dimitri and Christian on the couch, Rose in the chair opposite of them and Adrian standing next to me. I swallowed a gulp in my throat and upon clearing it announced: "I know what Alexei wants to do. I think I've known it all along, but my mind has the tendency of fighting against all the memories I have of my Strigoi days. It's stupid, really, that I didn't figure it out sooner, but now I know for sure."

"Not to rush you, but-", Christian started.

"I'm getting to it", I cut in while cracking my fingers nervously before I felt Adrian's palm on the small of my back and saw the warning he gave me to stop what I was doing.

I let my hands fall back against my body and my eyes to wonder somewhere above their heads so I'd felt more at ease. It didn't help much, but at least I didn't have to watch their accusatory looks when I confess my sins.

"Before Oksana turned me back, I was attempting to attack and kill the members of the Badica family who were traveling back to Court. That you already know, but what you don't know is that I didn't just randomly pick them, I wasn't there by mere coincidence. I planned it, well actually Alexei planned it and I was trying to beat him to it. He made his plans with somebody, a man that was like a boss to him or something. And that, that was supposed to be just the beginning."

"What are you trying to say?", Rose asked, try to follow the crazy thoughts I spilled through my babbling.

"I'm saying that they didn't just plan to kill them, they wanted to eliminate that entire family, every last one of them and then move one to the bigger ones, other Royal families."

"Like Spoken", Rose muttered, a grim expression crossing her face as she stood up to pace around the room.

"How do you know about Spoken?", I asked baffled, making her stop and turn to stare at me as she exclaimed: "How do _you_ know about it?"

"The group working in Spoken, the one that led the attack on part of the Badica family, they worked with Alexei", I elaborated as Rose's eyes widened and Eddie and Christian exchanged strange looks, "Isaiah was like a brother to him. And Elena, well, she was the same thing for Isaiah as I was for Alexei. However, they got bold, too bold and got killed by a guardian before they could continue their work."

"I killed them", Rose growled, a mix of pride and pain dancing through her glossy eyes.

"Oh", I muttered, realizing I've clearly missed something rather important on the other side of that fight.

Before I could ask what happened, Lissa spoke up, her voice slightly high-pitched probably from fear: "So you think Alexei is going to attack somebody else from the Badica family?"

"No, I don't think. I know", I stressed as Rose looked at Dimitri and mouthed something to him, "And I know it's not just the Badica's his planning to take out. It took me a while, but I finally got it. The commune you mentioned, the hospital, their attacks were well planned and increasing in size. He was getting ready for the big prize."

"The big prize?", Adrian voiced, pulling back from his thoughts, which I was sure were racing by now and joining the conversation.

I knew there wasn't a sugarcoated way of saying it so I just quickly blurted out: "Court. That's the only place that contains members of every Royal family. A lot of members."

Shock was visible on everyone's face. They all stayed quiet, thinking my words over. Adrian's voice was the first one to fill the silence. I expected my revelation to be questioned, analyzed or cast away completely, but he just simply said: "I guess the nurse was right then. The only question left is when?"

Nurse? I frowned at him, but he was already locked back inside of his head too much to notice my questioning look. Instead of asking what I wanted to know though, I simply admitted: "I don't know."

My words were instantly followed by a deafening noise. It rang across the Court grounds, echoing and blasting through the open window. We all jerked at the sound, covering our ears at first, before Rose, in an attempt to overpower the loud wailing, yelled: "What the hell is that?"

"I have no idea. I know one ring is to announce an important gathering that all the residents of the Court need to go to. I didn't even know they still used the alarm, it's rather annoying", I answered twitching at the piercing sound each time it repeated.

"Two marks the crowning of the new ruler", Lissa supplied.

"So what does three stand for?", Rose shouted again as she ran to the window and quickly closed it in order to at least try to muffle the sound.

Adrian was the last one to speak. I guess it shouldn't have surprised me. He spent most of his life at Court, more than me or anyone else here. He knew things about it that we didn't. He paled visibly, barely managing to stammer out: "Attack."

* * *

 **Chapter song:** **This is war - 30 seconds to Mars**


	32. CH32 - End Of The Dream

**POV: Emilia**

The panic spread through the Court grounds like fire through woods. People were screaming and running with no clue where the threat was coming from and what place could offer safety. The evacuation teams were quick though, immediately hopping into action, pulling people out of their homes and leading them in the right direction. All of us were still stuck in Rose's and Dimitri's living room overwhelmed by what was happening.

"I guess now we know when", Eddie muttered remaining shocked.

"We need to stick together and get out of here as soon as possible", Dimitri announced jumping to his feet.

As always, he was quick to go into a full-blown guardian mode the moment the shit hit the fan and Rose was obviously quick to follow since she instantly exclaimed: "Right."

My phone suddenly buzzed in the pocket of my jeans. Confused, I snatched it to see a message splashed across the screen. I didn't need to see the number, it didn't have to be signed, I knew exactly who it was from the minute my eyes scanned over the three simple words it consisted of. _Honey, I'm home!_ I dropped the phone on the floor freezing over. He was here, Alexei was here. This was it. This was the moment it all ends. The prizefight.

"What is it?", Adrian asked reaching for me.

I turned to face him and did my very best to remember every single line of his face, the few barely visible imperfections that made him that much more perfect, like I didn't already know them all by heart. I caught his hand and squeezed it lightly using my grip on him to tug him towards me. He looked lost, studying my face while he waited for me to tell him what was wrong, well, what was wrong aside from the obvious. But I wasn't going to do that. I couldn't, for the same reason I haven't told him any of the secrets that piled up on top of me lately. I had to protect him. That was the only thing that mattered. He was the only thing that mattered. I ignored Rose's requests for us to get a move on, I ignored the ticking clock inside of my head, when I leaned over to him, closing the distance between us and giving him the gentlest kiss I could manage. It lasted for a second, but it felt like an eternity, an eternity locked in a fading moment.

"I love you", I whispered in a trembling voice against his lips before I dropped his hand, turned around and took off at the fastest speed my body could produce.

I heard his shouts behind me, they echoed through the building as I descended down the stairs. As much as I wanted to get back to them, back to him, my legs still carried me towards the street. I didn't stop once I was outside. I kept running like my life depended on it, well, truthfully it did, just in a different sense. I forced myself not to look back, I couldn't look back, because if I did and if I saw him I'd lose the ability and the strength to leave.

People elbowed and shouldered me as they tried to surpass me and head towards the evacuation point, but I was so numb by now I could barely feel their strikes. At some point the crowd and the clamor got replaced by empty streets and distant sounds. Heavy breaths that had my chest heaving and loud protests of the ground bellow me which my boots mercilessly hit filled my ears. I pushed my hand under my shirt wrapping it around the cold silver hidden there, tucked safely behind my belt. I tugged it out sharply, scratching the sensitive skin on my side, but I couldn't be bothered to pause over something so meaningless. I was so consumed in encouraging myself to keep going that I didn't even register somebody jumping out of a nearby house and launching at me until it was too late.

The attacker slammed into my body sending me straight towards the ground. I fell hard, losing my breath upon the impact. I coughed as I fought to regain control over my lungs and looked up to meet devilish red-ringed eyes staring at me. As he surged towards me again I managed to scramble to my feet and evade his attack. I didn't know him, but by the way he moved and his impatience I could tell he was still pretty fresh, a newbie Strigoi, dangerously strong, but easier to defeat. He circled me and I shifted so he wouldn't get a chance to attack me from the side, keeping my eyes on him, while I lifted the stake and positioned it properly.

"I honestly don't see what all the fuss is about", he chuckled coldly, checking me out from head to toe, "I have to say I expected more from the infamous Emilia Lazar."

"And you are?", I asked, doing my best to sound completely uninterested.

"Name's Mateo and I'm the one that's going to deliver you to Alexei", he spat out swinging his fist at me, but missing by a longshot.

"So you must be my replacement. I'm thoroughly disappointed, I thought Alexei had higher standards", I scoffed angering him.

He pounced, this time managing to land an excellent punch right on my jaw sending me backwards, but not before I managed to scrape the stake against his cheek making him growl. I hit a fence behind me, my free hand flying up to grip it tightly as I tried to stay on my feet. If he manages to land me on the ground again I'm as good as dead. The fence squeaked loudly beneath my palm, before it broke under the damage of my full weight trashing into it and my stronger than expected grip, sending one of its metal bars upwards. Mateo rubbed his cheek before glancing towards his fingers and seeing a smear of blood on them. His eyes were filled with anger when he lifted them to mine again as he fumed: "He told me to take you alive, but I say fuck that order. You've really pissed me off and I'm going to enjoy tearing you to bits."

My mind was overridden by adrenaline, but in that moment one crystal thought emerged from the mess it was filled with and I realized I might actually die right now, before I even get to Alexei, before I can stop him from hurting anyone else.

"Last time I checked, Alexei doesn't like to be disobeyed", I retorted, trying to scare him into submission.

"Who ever said anything about me disobeying? You can easily fall under collateral damage", he coldly laughed as he dug his feet into the ground, clearly getting ready to attack.

 _Shit!,_ was the maximum of coherency I was capable of at this point. He moved fast, plowing into me and pushing me onto the bar sticking out of the fence. A frenzied scream erupted from my chest as splitting pain surged through my every nerve. The metal pierced my side ripping through my flesh like I was made of paper. My hand instinctively shot up, plunging the stake I managed to keep my hold on into his chest. He jerked back screaming as well. He gripped the stake that burned his hand and ripped it out of his chest struggling to stay on his feet. I missed his heart. I messed up.

I tried moving, but even a slightest flex of my muscles sent shock waves through me. I was stuck, with no one to help me, without any weapons and in front of a very pissed off Strigoi who was about to deliver what was probably going to be his final and deathly blow. I closed my eyes as he reached for me and prayed to whatever the hell was out there for a bloody miracle. And it came. It came in a form of a tall, strong, furious, duster coated figure followed by a string of Russian curse words and a blow that sent Mateo flying into a brick wall of the nearby building. I lost sight of them for what seemed like a split of a second and then I felt Dimitri's warm touch on my shoulder.

"Boy I'm glad to see your brooding face", I mumbled as his hands wondered over the tarnished flesh around the bar sticking out of me.

His expression scared me even more than the blood dripping out of my wound. He pushed his palm against the fence trying to move it away from me, but that only caused the bar to dig into me more, making me wail. He jerked back, cupping my face as he breathed out: "Eka, милая, what have you done?"

His words were warm even when he was scolding me. I guess some habits just die way too hard. I blinked up at his worried eyes and tried to smile as I chuckled: "It's not like I purposefully impaled myself onto this shit."

"Try to stay still", he instructed as he reached around me, prompting my arms on his shoulders.

I hugged his neck as he did his best to pull me towards him as gently as he could. Despite his effort, the pain of the bar sliding out of me and tugging at my skin in the process made me cry out again. I clutched to him until my feet touched the ground and he wrapped me in his embrace, allowing me to bury my face into his duster. I breathed in the mix of his scent and the leather, relaxing slightly at the comforting familiarity of it. There wasn't anything romantic in any of our gestures or the words that we exchange, but it was something that just went to prove how much we still loved each other even though we weren't in love. It gave me peace to know I'll always have that, always have him in that way. There's no one else I'd rather be with right now, well no one else but one person, the person who was probably losing his freaking mind right now over the stupidity of my choices.

"What were you thinking running off like that?", Dimitri mumbled out into my hair, like he heard my thoughts, before he picked me up and cradled me against his chest.

"I don't know", I whispered, casting a look over his shoulder and towards my house.

It was close. So close. Alexei was probably in there, waiting. But I wouldn't be able to slap him right about now, let alone kill him. I missed my chance. I'll have to wait. I'll have to find another way to defeat him.

Dimitri carried me for a while until I nudged him to put me down. As soon as he set me back on my feet I regretted the decision. Though, regardless of my terrible state, I felt much better knowing his hands weren't too occupied with me just in case more Strigoi decided to pop up out of nowhere. I straightened up as much as my body would allow it and winced. Dimitri instantly reached for me as he asked: "Are you sure you can walk?"

"Yup, I got it", I breathed out, taking a few wobbly steps and choosing not to protest when he slipped his arm around my waist to support me as we slowly approached the crowd moving towards the edge of the Court grounds, "Where are the others?"

"Rose and Eddie took them to safety, well, the place closes to it. Guardians are packing the evacuation busses with the Court residents. Alexei's group is not as small as we've hoped and they worked faster than we've anticipated. There are a lot of casualties already, but as soon as the alarm was set off, new wards have been placed. I'm sure they'll break them just as quickly as they did the initial ones, but it will slow them down long enough for most of the people to get out of here."

"Is somebody fighting them?"

"Mhm", he mumbled his expression darkening.

"You won't?", I blurted out in panic.

"No, Eka, relax", he reassured me instantly even though he didn't looked very pleased about it, "I wanted to, but I have to protect Christian, he is my charge."

"Good", I confirmed, nodding to myself thoughtfully, "I don't want you anywhere near them. They know who you are Mitya, a lot of them know. They'd compete to kill you first."

"I know", he responded, his hold on me tensing up.

When the crowd began thickening Dimitri wrapped me closer to him and pushed his way forward until we were basically spat out of the mess of limbs and panicked voices right in front of the buses. Guardians were leading people into them, trying to keep everyone as calm as possible. The last thing anyone needed was a riot. I looked up at Dimitri and saw his eyes skimming over the people around us. I prompted myself on my toes holding on to Dimitri's shoulder with one hand as I pressed my jacket against my wound to slow down the bleeding with the other. After a few minutes I saw Rose's wavy dark ponytail jumping up next to a slightly tangled up, but straight gold one. I pointed towards her and Dimitri stirred us in the right direction.

"If he gets himself killed I'm going to kill him", Rose fumed, peering over Christina's shoulder nervously.

Christian opened his mouth, probably with the intention of telling Rose here threats were impossible to carry out, before he shook his head and bit his bottom lip to stop himself from talking. Lissa turned around and her worried frown instantly shifted into a relieved smile when we finally managed to approach them.

"Oh thank God", she exclaimed as she ran up to us, wrapping her arms around me and causing a little _ouch_ to escape me.

"You are bleeding", Christian observed as Lissa stepped back, her frown returning as fast as it disappeared.

"It's barely a scratch", I mumbled, pulling my jacket over my wound as much as I could, though the material itself was also pretty wrecked.

"They are almost done", Eddie announced giving Rose a gloomy look.

I glanced past Lissa and Christian, searching for the comfort of my beautiful emeralds, wondering why he wasn't the first one to pull me into his embrace. However, he wasn't behind them. He wasn't anywhere around us. I peeked into the closest bus too, just to be sure, and then turned towards our friends dumbstruck.

"Eddie, where is he? Where is Adrian?"

The expression that crossed his face made me shiver. I knew that whatever he was about to tell me wasn't going to be good news. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously before he blurted out: "He saw the message on your phone. Dimitri forced him to stay with us when he tried to go after you and promised he'll get you out, but once I was left with only Rose to back me up, Adrian just - I couldn't stop him, we couldn't stop him."

My heart sank in my chest. Adrian, my Adrian was somewhere out there in danger, all because he was looking for me. All of a sudden the world seemed to stand still, like the entire universe stopped just to see what will happen now. Me, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think, I was paralyzed in horror as Lissa's voice flowed towards me, sounding like I was stuck under water and she was whispering from the surface: "He's probably already heading back. He must have figured out Dimitri saved you by now."

He isn't. He didn't. Because as long as there was a chance that Dimitri failed, there was a chance that he could be abandoning me if he was to fall back. And he wouldn't do that, just like I won't. I backed away slowly, not wanting to alarm anyone until I was safe out of their reach. Dimitri's eyes lifted to mine when he realized I wasn't by his side anymore. He's proven to everyone, myself included, he knew me well, he was proving it now yet again, because his expression shifted into the most panicked look I've seen on him all night while he warned: "Emilia don't-."

But he was too late. I was already doing the same thing I've done the first time they all begged me to come back. I was running head first into danger, leaving them all behind.

"Emma, come back", Lissa and Rose screamed in unison, but their attempts were useless.

The people I pushed past ignored me. It didn't surprise me that nobody except for my friends tried to stop me. I was doing something incredibly dumb yet again and why should any of them care about it. They were all just trying to save their own skin and their loved ones. Nobody had time to deal with another's tragedy. I prayed my friends will do the same, save themselves instead of trying to save me. This was my mess, I'm going to clean it up, if I wasn't already too late.

I had to think on my feet, deciding on my course along the way. I tried to put myself in Adrian's shoes and let mine carry me. I held my hand pressed against my side as I ran, trying to keep myself from bleeding out. Slipping through the now even more empty streets I scanned every corner, every yard, clinging on to this little spark of hope that I'll see him. I was just about to take a turn towards my house, thinking it was the only possibility left, when something else dragged my attention. A grey cloud surging towards the sky in the distance had me coming to a halt. I studied the cloud as it twirled and melted into the dark night sky. My feet moved of their own accord, heading towards what I realized was my home, my real home.

The moment I set my eyes on Adrian's house I froze. The grey cloud turned into heavy smoke the closer I got to it. The house was on fire, the entire left side engulfed in flames. Taking in the scene in front of me, I stumbled forward and ran up to the entrance ignoring the heat that already bit my skin. I slammed into the door as hard as I could, breaking it from its hinges. It wasn't that hard to do it to be honest. Ever since Dimitri knocked it down it's been rather unstable. The flames jumped up at me and I jerked back into the wall, blindly tumbling into the living room.

"Adrian", I cried out into the dim space.

The only light was coming from the fire. It illuminated the mess before me, dancing over the walls, casting my shadow as I moved. Everything in the house was ruined, a window and the coffee table were smashed, shards of glass mirroring the angry orange color from behind me, the furniture torn and tumbled over, pieces of Adrian's painting and the easel it was on along my books scattered across the floor, walls covered in paint, blood and soot. I thumped deeper into the living room, holding my breath in before my foot splashed into a pool of water in front of me. No, not water, blood. I covered my mouth with my hand to stop myself from screaming. What if it was Adrian's? What if Alexei killed him?

I followed the trail of blood leading towards the kitchen as the fire crackled from the hallway, warning me it was already attacking the door I pushed into it. Breathe in, breathe out. _Keep it together Emilia_ , I thought as I pushed the door open. I kept thinking how I'll find Adrian's lifeless body lying on the floor. I didn't even stop to think that there were fates much worse than death. The empty room I faced was just as ruined as the rest of the house, but there was something unique about it. The blood on the wall wasn't splashed like in the living room. It was actually very neatly painted into letters. Letters forming a sentence. The message written in blood on the wall was very clear: _"If you can't wake up from a nightmare, maybe you're not asleep."_

As realization hit me I feel to the ground losing the last piece of energy that was keeping me standing. _I'll take the only thing you care about, the only person you can't live without. You'll watch as the thing you are afraid of the most consumes him and devours him, destroying him forever._ Alexei's words rang through my head colliding with the memory of the worst nightmare he created in my mind.

Adrian wasn't dead.

Adrian was a Strigoi.

 **-THE END-**

* * *

 **Chapter song: End of the dream - Evanescence**

 **Former AN:** **Wow, I can't believe I'm here, but it's official folks, this is the end of this story! But don't worry, I'm not leaving you! I'm continuing this fiction in the second part of the formerly mentioned and planned trilogy, so this ride is far from over!**

 **I would like to thank all of you who took the time to read and review my story! It's been really fun writing it and it's been an honor sharing it with you!** **I'd also like to take a moment now to give special thanks to a couple of very special people. So this goes out to:**

 **1\. Kooki - the amazing woman who took the time to help me in the very beginning of this story and who made me more eager to keep writing it and finish it**

 **2\. Ri - an awesome girl who became a part of my everyday life thanks to this site and who supported me throughout this ride keeping a smile on my face**

 **3\. Swimming - this brilliant writer who for some crazy reason liked my story and gave me much needed support through reviews and PMs**

 **4\. chocomonkey6 - my crazy fan, best friend and mega supporter**

 **5\. najmanjanja - also bearing the best friend title, my brilliant "editor"/reader and a gold mine of ideas!**

 **Thank you girls you've all been brilliant!** **And one more addition to this group is the guest reviewer who goes by the name of impala67, thanks for reviewing every single chapter! You're awesome!**

 **I hope I'll see you guys around! Again thanks for everything! Until the next time,**

 **XOXO T!**


	33. The Dark Almandine (CH1)

**POV: Adrian**

I remember the pain. I never expected it to hurt so much. I guess I always thought the endorphins would numb it down. Maybe they usually did. Perhaps my experience was different because he wanted me to suffer.

I remember my last thoughts. People usually say your entire life plays out in front of your eyes as you are about to die, but that wasn't the case for me. I only thought of her. Her crystal-like violet eyes, her soft pinkish lips, that cute little smile of hers that would rise up so much it would sometimes make small dimples in her cheeks, the sound of her laugh, the silky strands of her black hair, her intoxicating smell. I thought about how much I loved her and it was agonizing to me that I'll never get to tell her that again.

What were the last words I said to her? I could hardly remember now, but I was sure they weren't right, they wouldn't give her peace, wouldn't make her feel, this one last time, the love I had for her. I won't get to kiss her or hold her in my arms, comfort her. Who will do it? How is going to chase the shadows away when they come? How much pain will my death cause her?

I remember closing my eyes, her face the last thing on my mind and her name the last word on my lips. I remember feeling like I was falling through darkness. I was cold, scared, lonely and lost. And the last thing I remember was opening my eyes again, only one thing, one thought, one word, one desire burning through me, consuming me. Blood.

 **50 minutes earlier**

My heart skipped a beat when the first ring cracked through the silent night. It was loud enough to make everyone in the room cringe at the sound. The loudness, however, was not what made me jerk back like I got hit by raw electricity. It was the familiarity of it, the thing I remembered from my childhood, the thing that sometimes haunted me while I was sleeping. I remember how many times my aunt told me to memories the meaning of the sound, the number of the rings that were more significant than anything. So I listened as everyone around me looked at each other in confusion. It's because they didn't know.

 _One._

"What the hell is that?", Rose cried out against the noise.

"I have no idea. I know one ring is to announce an important gathering that all the residents of the Court need to go to. I didn't even know they still used the alarm, it's rather annoying", Emma supplied, twitching when the second ring came.

 _Two_.

I was painfully aware of the slow draining of color out of my face. My lips dried up and I felt like something was clogging my throat, stopping me from uttering any words. While I fought to speak Lissa announced: "Two marks the crowning of the new ruler."

 _Three._

"So what does three stand for?", Rose asked as she closed the window, a sigh of relief escaping her as the noise got muffled slightly.

I swallowed hard, trying to push the words out of my mouth as Emma turned to me. Her face was swimming in worry since I probably looked like I've seen a ghost right about now. One long breath and I finally stammered out: "Attack."

This is it. This is the big plan. Alexei and his Strigoi were coming. Silence fell among us as the ringing continued, joined by the voices, screams and cries outside. The panic was already starting since I was definitely not the only one who knew the meaning of this.

"I guess now we know when", Eddie muttered in shock as soon as the alarm began another loop of its deafening three wails.

"We need to stick together and get out of here as soon as possible", Dimitri announced getting up, instantly followed by Rose's determined: "Right."

I heard a quick thud as something dropped on the floor next to me. Glancing up, I saw Emilia's terrified expression, her eyes still glued to the thing on the floor. I realize it was her phone as I approached and asked: "What is it?"

She didn't respond, she just stared at me, her eyes traveling around my face in a strange way, like she was seeing it for the first time. She grasped my hand and I felt her fingers tightening around mine as she tugged me closer. I closed my eyes instinctively when she kissed me, but frowned upon sensing how different her lips felt against mine. There was something alarming about her stillness and gentleness. She pulled back just a little before she whispered: "I love you."

I opened my eyes when her hand dropped mine and was met by her hair flicking around as she turned towards the door and ran. I was shocked enough to lose one second before I ran after her. One second. That was enough to give her a head start. I shouted her name as I raced down the stairs, hearing her footsteps echo bellow me. The echoes disappeared mere moments before I jumped off the last step and slammed against the door of the building. I franticly ran my hand over it, until I reached the handle and swung it open. I tripped over the threshold, catapulting into the street, immediately getting engulfed by a crowd running and pushing their way towards what I figured was the evacuation point. With so many people around me, I basically had to fight my way out of the commotion, stopping when I reached a streetlight so that I could wrap my arm around the poll and step onto the platform below to prompt myself up.

I scanned my surroundings, my eyes quickly shifting over the countless faces passing me by. I searched for the fiery violet gems, for the pitch black sea, for any sign of her really, but she was gone. I grabbed my hair with my free hand, tempted to rip it off my head, turning my eyes in circles helplessly, praying I would spot her after all, as I shouted her name at the top of my lungs. A hand on my shoulder jerked me down, almost making me lose my balance as my feet slipped from the platform and back onto the ground. For a moment, just a tiny moment, I allowed myself to hope it was Emilia, though I knew her touch would feel quite different. I looked back, facing Dimitri's panic filled eyes with a sinking feeling in my chest.

"Adrian, where is she?"

"I don't", I stammered out, "I don't know. She was-, I-."

"Don't worry", he instantly reassured me, gripping my shoulder tightly as his face turned into a hard and determined mask, "We'll find her."

 _Why would she run off like this? What was she thinking? What got her so upset?_ My mind bombarded me with questions until one single thought took over and I froze. _Her phone_. I wrenched out of Dimitri's hold before I ran past him and back into the building wordlessly, taking two steps at a time to get back to the apartment as fast as I could. Rose and Lissa said something to me when I burst through the door, but I didn't listen. I threw myself to the ground, snatching the phone and unlocking it. The screen was a bit cracked, but the content was still visible. The last thing opened on it was a message. _Honey, I'm home!_ My eyes ran over it and in that moment my lungs finally collapsed under the pressure, making me start gasping for air.

"Adrian?", Lissa exclaimed dropping down next to me and shaking my shoulder, "My God, Adrian are you okay? What's happening? Rose what's wrong with him?"

I peered up at Rose's shocked face and tried again to inhale, but it was like somebody shoved a cloth down my airways and there was no way anything was passing through. I felt the muscles of my hands twitching uncontrollably, the ones on my face cringing, probably morphing my expression into a strange grimace, as I fell back straight on my ass. Dimitri arrived shortly, pushing everyone away and grabbing me. He shook me so hard I felt like my eyes might start rolling around my scull.

"What's wrong with him?", Lissa repeated, watching Dimitri fail to help me.

"He is having a panic attack, a really strong one", he responded without taking his eyes off me, "Adrian, I need you to try to calm down."

I wanted to tell him I'd love nothing more than to calm down, but it was out of my hands. However, no words were coming out so I just gripped his shoulder leaning forward as another gasp escaped me. Before I knew what was what, his palm collided with my cheek causing my head to spin to the side. Just as I felt the impact, the imaginary cloth disappeared and I coughed, my eyes filling with tears from the pain of the air scratching my throat on its way down to my lungs that almost burst as they filled up again.

"Are you good?", Dimitri asked while I blinked up at him.

I continued coughing as I nodded and allowed him to get me back on my feet. I shook my head like that might help me clear my thoughts before I pointed towards the phone and mumbled incoherently: "Need to go-, she needs me-, danger."

Dimitri crouched, picking up the phone before turning to Rose and ordering: "Get them out of here!"

She nodded motioning Eddie to get moving. Dimitri turned to leave and I followed him before he stopped me with a firm statement: "You are going with them."

"The hell-, the hell I am", I stammered out.

"It's not safe for you out there", Dimitri argued.

"It's not safe for me, or anyone else, anywhere around the Court right now", I contradicted, finally getting my voice back to normal, "That's why we need to find Emma and get the hell out of dodge."

"I'll find her. Go with Rose", he urged and upon seeing the protest forming on my lips added, "You'll only slow me down. If you want her to be safe and back by your side as fast as possible, you need to, for once, listen to me."

I wanted to fight him more on it, but it would just be a waste of time. Time we didn't have. So I nodded and whispered: "Get her back to me."

"I will, I promise. I'll protect her."

With that he was gone in a blink of an eye. I didn't move until I felt Rose's hand on my back pushing be towards the door. Once we hit the street, we huddled together trying to stop the chaos around us from tearing us apart. The hysteria was getting contagious, enough to make people rabid and violent as they tried to save themselves and their families. They shoved and pulled at each other, screamed and fought. I had a feeling they would stomp over anyone standing in their way. None of them even noticed who we were and one guy went as far as to curse at Lissa when she bumped into him.

"This is insane", Rose shouted as she dragged Lissa away and nudged her to walk in the middle of our little group.

"Fear is a very powerful poison", Eddie commented, blocking somebody's hand before it could collide with my face.

Claustrophobia was not something I've ever really experienced, so I was surprised to feel the air around us becoming very tin all of a sudden. Maybe I was having another panic attack. I glanced around trying to assess how far we've gotten when I felt gentle fingers intertwining with mine. I looked over at Jill, who was beyond terrified. I realize she has barely said a word all night and for a good reason too. She almost died once and I was fairly certain the idea of something like that happening again was tormenting her ever since. I squeezed her hand and pulled her closer to me so that I could wrap her in my embrace.

"It's okay Jailbait, you're going to be alright", I reassured her as she pushed her head against my chest making herself even smaller than she already was, "We are all going to be just fine."

I was scared my words were a lie. I was scared to the bones. I opened my mouth to say something else with the intention of soothing her further before somebody knocked into us, sending us both to the ground. My arm softened the blow for her, but I wasn't so lucky. I hit my head hard enough to see stars dancing before my eyes. Eddie quickly helped us up while the man who ran into us fought against the hold of a guardian who was trying to push him back in the direction we were all moving towards.

"No, no, I'm not leaving without her", the man shouted, digging his feet into the ground in order to maintain his formerly made progress, "I'm not leaving without my wife."

His shouts were painted with agony and I understood him perfectly. Rose grabbed my sleeve, trying to get me to move again, but I kept staring at the guy waiting to see what will happen next. His guardian was stubborn, I had to give him that.

"Jackie will get her out", he persisted, "We need to keep moving George."

"No, what if Jackie can't get to her, can't find her, what if she can't save her?"

I was transfixed by the words the other man cried out. They got me thinking: _What if Dimitri can't get to Emma, what if he doesn't reach her in time, what if she is already hurt, what if she needs me?_ I felt Rose's fingers slip away. She was forced to let go of me because the crowd jolted her forward. I heard her shouting: "Adrian, come on!"

I managed to look away. I managed to turn around, fixing on Rose. I stared into her dark and wild eyes, I watched them round in fear as they fell onto my lips while I mouthed _I'm sorry_. I backed away while she desperately fought to reach me again, screaming my name in a warning and a plea.

"Adrian, don't", was the last thing I heard before I plunged into the mob.

I couldn't even see where I was going until I slammed head first into something. I was pushed against a hard surface and it took me a moment to realize it was a fence. I glanced down, noticing a crack on the bottom of the plank that I hit. I grabbed the top of the fence for support and kicked at the wood until a big chunk chipped off. Ducking down, I crawled through the opening emerging in the yard on the other side. I hurriedly crossed the lawn, finding my way to a lot less crowded road. I raced towards Emma's house,the streets I passed emptying completely until I was the only one moving through them. _Left, right, run straight, another left-. Figures._ I came to a halt, my heart skipping as I peered at the two silhouettes. _Strigoi?_ A few more steps towards them and a standard guardian outfit crystallized before my eyes. One of the guys was wearing it and the other one had black pants and a red shirt. My gaze traveled to their faces. _Dhampir_.

"Hey, hey", I yelled, speeding up to reach them.

The red shirt guy peered over his shoulder before he tugged his companion to stop. When I was close enough to hear them, he spoke up in a formal voice: "My Lord you should be heading to the evacuation point. If you'll follow us we'll-."

"No", I cut in, pointing down the street as I tried to catch my breath, "You came from that direction, right?"

"Yes", the other one confirmed as they exchanged confused looks.

"Any Moroi left? Are all the houses empty?"

"Not a living soul, we checked all of them", red shirt supplied.

"How about nonliving souls, did you see any of them?"

"We wouldn't be standing here if we did. Now please, Lord, you really need to-."

"One more question", I broke in, praying for a good answer, "Have you seen guardian Dimitri Belikov anywhere along the way by any chance?"

"No. He's probably with his charge at the evacuation point."

 _No he is not._ My mind was racing as I tried to decide what to do and where to go next. _One place left to check_. I peered over my shoulder before I turned to add: "Thanks fellas!"

When I took off, for a minute I thought they might try to follow me, stop me, drag me with them, but since I didn't hear any noises behind me, I knew they probably decided not to die for a fool that was running head first into possible was probably a bit more than five minutes, felt like an eternity to me as I tumbled towards the little house that I called home. I didn't see anyone on my way there which had me pondering on whether I should be relieved or even more petrified. I was on the verge of collapsing when I reached the entrance, pushing the door open, surprised it was unlocked. I walked inside, my legs shaking as I glanced around and breathed out: "Emma?"

The lights were off, it was quiet, nothing seemed to be out of place and there was apparently no one there, but I made my way upstairs just to be certain. I thought about the best and the worst possibility. Maybe Dimitri found her and took her back, back to the place I was supposed to be at. Or maybe they were both already dead and I just didn't run into their bodies yet.

Something tumbled downstairs breaking the silence and, before I could even think about stopping myself, I shouted: "Emilia?"

No response came as I rushed back to the living room. It was a painting, the easel with my painting was on the ground, but there was no one present who could have knocked it down. Or at least that's what I thought. The front door screeched as somebody pushed it shut. I swung around peering into the darkness at the figure that stood in the hallway. He was buff, tall and pretty badass looking so for a moment I wondered if, perhaps, I was lucky enough to see Dimitri step out of the shadows. I wasn't. The guy approached me, his blond hair and sharp face lines coming into my view. His red-ringed eyes studied me carefully, his nose wrinkling slightly, like he was disgusted by the mere sight of me. His voice was cold when he leisurely commented: "I was wondering when you were going to show up."

"Let me guess", I found myself saying, despite my mind warning me to keep my mouth shut, "Alexei?"

"It's nice to finally meet you Adrian", he responded, grinning in a way that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand uncomfortably straight.

"I highly doubt that", I remarked taking a step back as he neared me further, "Where is Emilia?"

"Away", he sang, his eyes traveling around the room as if to underline how irritatingly obvious it was that she was not here, "I made sure she got, held up."

"Why? I thought you were waiting for her. Or was your love message sent to the wrong number?", I challenged, as I prayed that whoever was keeping her occupied wasn't going to kill her in the process.

"Oh no, not at all", he chuckled humorlessly, "It was the right number, but it wasn't meant for her."

"Who was it meant for?"

"You", he stated, fixing his eyes back on me with the intensity that made my breathing more unsteady than I'd like to admit, "And you walked right into my trap. The plan is playing itself out perfectly."

 _Why the hell would he want me?_ I watched him dumbstruck, trying to connect the dots while he used my silence to continue: "I thought it'd be pretty obvious. I mean, I basically cleared the path for you. Didn't you find it strange that this place is already crawling with my people and you didn't run into any of them? Not a single one. Come on Adrian, I thought you were supposed to be smart."

He's mockery was followed by a pitiful look, but my eyes didn't linger on his expression long. I was too busy searching for something, anything that I could use for protection or at least distraction as he took a few more steps towards me. I froze when my eyes landed on the boxes Emma hauled over from her house. They contained some of the materials and tools left after the renovation works were done. They've been sitting in the corner of the living room for days, waiting for either of us to move them to the basement. We kept avoiding it and now I couldn't be happier about our tardiness when a metal tip sticking out of one of them came into my view. I discretely moved to the side so I wouldn't tip him off, distracting him by asking a question: "Alright, you have me here, what now?"

"Now I keep one of the promises I made to Emilia."

I didn't know what he meant by that, but I wasn't planning on sticking around long enough to find out.

"It's a bit chilly in here, wouldn't you agree?", I exclaimed before I threw myself in the direction of the boxes and grabbed the blowtorch stuck in the box on the top. I flipped the valve open and clicked the button underneath it, lighting it up before I threw it at him, scrambling to my feet as fast as I could and running towards the window since he was blocking the front door. I managed to get one foot out before his fingers closed around my arm. I tried holding on to pretty much anything as he tugged me towards him, causing all of the contents of the shelf I grabbed to tumble on top of me along with my paints that sprayed into my eyes blinding me temporarily.

"You missed boy", he growled above me and I used the sound of his voice to orient, kicking up and managing to hit him.

By the sound of it, he smashed into the window while I slid back, wiping my eyes with my sleeve and grabbing all the tubes of pain I could reach, throwing them at him. With his eyes on me he laughed: "Is that all you got?"

"Not at all", I spat out, letting the Spirit flow through my body. The energy built up in a flash, before I forced it out, watching in shock as it blasted him away. Up until this point levitating and moving things was something that I only managed to do a few times. I've never told anyone I could do it, Lissa and Rose were the only people who saw it once in a council meeting and I never gave it much thought with all that's been going on. But with the adrenaline pumping through my veins I realized I might be capable of more than I thought I was.

As he clawed his way out of the fireplace I concentrated hard, sending the knocked over easel flying his way. The wood broke as it hit his body and he let out an angry cry. I grabbed the edge of the coffee table in an attempt to stand up since the world around me spun wickedly before I felt a piercing pain on my shoulder. Alexei pulled at me as his fangs sunk further into my skin and I screamed trying desperately to shake him off. I fell across the table and the glass broke, digging into my clothes and my face when we tumbled to the ground.

As soon as his weight disappeared I rolled over, twitching as the glass cracked under my back. He stood above me, an ominous look on his face, blood dripping from his chin. My blood. He reached down, picking me up like I was as light as a feather and swinging me into a wall. I felt like somebody sucked the air out of my lungs upon the impact and I crumpled down like a house of cards. He reached up and pulled out a big shard of glass from his shoulder throwing it in front of my feet while he studied the smear of blood left behind me on the wall.

"I admire your resistance. It's futile, but I still admire it", he announced as I peered up through the smoke.

 _Smoke?_ One look at the hallway and I could see it was lighter than the rest of the house and the source of the smoke. _Blowtorch, shit!_ As Alexei strolled over to me I tried and failed to stand back up. He kicked me and I curled up, blinking the tears out of my eyes. Every single part of my body was hurting.

"Sadly, as fun as this was, I believe our time together has reached its end", he chuckled coldly as something sharp plunged into my stomach.

An incoherent cry escaped me while I fought to stop the shard of the glass he stabbed me with to cause any more damage, but he jerked it up sending a shockwave of pain through me. I started bleeding heavily and he didn't waste any time. His feet shifted through the fast forming pool of blood on the floor so he could grab me by the collar, after which he dragged me across the ground as I scraped my fingers over the floor desperately, like that might help stop him. He dropped me on the kitchen floor and thrust his fingers into my wound before straightening back up and splashing them on the closest wall. He moved them sharply across it, forming some letters my mind couldn't even register while I fought to stay conscious. I couldn't feel my legs, couldn't lift a damn finger and I felt more and more pain as he kept digging into my stomach.

At some point he leaned over me and pushed something against my lips. I felt some kind of a liquid dripping down my throat before the pain on my neck started again. The last thing I heard before everything faded away was him whispering: "Nighty, night."

* * *

 **Hey guys, so I've decided to post the first chapter of The Dark Almandine here as well since I know a lot of my "fans" (aka reviewers, followers) were impatiently waiting for the sequel story for this one! The sequel has been up though, for a while now, with already five published chapters, so if you are still interested you can go ahead and stalk my profile to find the story!**

 **I do really hope you'll find the time and will to read it since it'd be a shame if you never got to see how it will end!** **Anyhow, thanks for reading this! Please do review since feedback is important to me! I hope I'll see you all around!**

 **XOXO T!**


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